Hundred Word Challenge: #19 Pumpkin
Stupid Jack Pumpkinhead. He can never keep his head very long— even when it's not rotten. Doesn't he realize that I, Sawhorse, have a life, and that wooden legs also get sore? I'm aching from all the splinters. I guess it never occurred to him that every time he trips I'm the one inconvenienced. I'm the one who has to go to the pumpkin patch and pick him a pumpkin for a head.
I search the patch high and low for the absolute best pumpkin. If I had to do the chore of picking a head, I was going to pick the perfect one. Besides, Jack Pumpkinhead is picky about the pumpkin he's going to wear.
I pick one after a while and deliver it to Jack.
"What is this?" Jack asks once the head is carved and on his stake of a neck.
"What do you mean?" I ask. "You can't even see it!"
"I can feel it all right, though. It's all lumpy. You must be blind to have picked this one," he insults my choice.
So, like the patient, kind, awesome friend I am, I go back to the pumpkin patch to pick another one, and another one, and yet another. The cycle never ends. Each time he refuses. Too small, too big. Too fat, too skinny. Too flat, too lumpy. Too wide, too narrow.
I'm in the pumpkin patch for what must be the thousandth time. There are only two pumpkins left. One is majorly disformed, and the other one is perfect... Minus the fact that it's the size of a plum. So, to narrow down my choice, I think rationally. Who wants a head that's flat one one entire side, and lumpy on the other?
So I bring the plum sized one, carefully carving the eyes, nose, and mouth. Unfortunately, I make the eyes and nose too big, so the mouth is only a quarter of an inch both ways. at least he'll be able the see and breathe easily.
I then present it to Jack— heck, I even put it on for him! When he tries to talk, his voice comes out extremely high and pitchy.
"Sawhorse!" he squeals. "You suck a picking pumpkins!"
That was the last straw. "Screw this!" I yell at him. "Pick your own pumpkin!"
A.N.: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. They make me fully all squishy inside. The good kind of squishy. -Red
-Cat