Disclaimer I own very little, especially not CSI NY.
Author Lily Moonlight
I'm really sorry to have left such a long gap between updates, again... Many thanks to Ballettmaus for her help with this, to cmaddict for discussion a little while ago about Flack, to iluvcsi4ever for reading this and to those who have given pokes to update - much appreciated. I must admit, after the news about season 7, I lost my enthusiasm for the show; however, not for the characters or fan fic. If you're interested, I have a few links on my profile page re. this. Thank you to conche and webDLfan for your messages.
Dedicated to afrozenheart412, DNAisUnique and brinchen86
Once Upon A Time In the Old West
Chapter 27: The Wounded and the Living
Flack:
Ain't never seen such a mess as this. It ain't hardly credible; to see the Star Saloon nothin' more than a heap of smoulderin' timbers in the snow, well, devastatin' ain't the word to describe it. And devastated ain't gonna be the word to describe Stell when she sees this. She was in a bad enough state earlier. Shouldn't be a sight anyone has to face, seein' their home burned down in front of their eyes, and for no reason other than a gang of outlaws decided they wanted somethin' they weren't entitled to. Makes me sick.
Least the fire's out now... mainly 'cause there's nothin' left to burn. A few hours ago this was one of the most important buildings in town. And now... Well, now, there ain't much left of it but memories. After all that turmoil, there's a strange sorta' silence settled over the place now. Aint much to be heard apart from a sorta' hissin' sound from the remains of the saloon. And 'cause the light from the flames has gone, feels like night's sorta' closed in on the town.
I gotta sit down before my legs give way. Can't be seen to be collapsin' in the snow. No one's takin' much notice of me though; everyone's startin' to trail back home. Aint a whole lot more anyone else can do now except get themselves back in front of their hearths safe and warm. Best thing for 'em. Whole town's gonna need time to recover from everythin' that's happened today.
Guess I'd like nothin' better than to fall into my own bed and sleep for a week, but that ain't gonna happen. Ain't gonna see my bed for a while. Got folks to check up on yet. Mac ain't in no state for doin' that tonight. Besides, Stell needs him more than anyone else right now.
Can't draw my eyes or mind away from the saloon though. It's nothin' less than a miracle we all got out alive, especially Stell and Mac. I was certain that this time, their time had come... For a few minutes when we were all held hostage, I thought my time had come. Guess someone up there was watchin' over all of us Hattanville folks makin' sure not a one of us was badly hurt. Seems like the only one seriously injured was the sonofabitch who caused all this in the first place. Man didn't look good when I dragged him over to the Doc after Mac and Stell pulled him out.
Doc's got real skill in treatin' even the most hopeless seemin' cases, but I don't reckon even he's gonna be able to do much to help in this case. Well, maybe that ain't such a bad thing; but then there's also a part of me thinkin' that maybe death's too good for such as him. When I think of what he did... Damn the man! Ain't ashamed to admit, as I told Mac and Stell, that I'd have happily left him to burn. Would've felt like justice.
However, I don't reckon I'm far wrong in guessin' that it ain't gonna be down to anyone on earth to be judgin' him soon. Unless I'm real mistaken, he's gonna have a different judge lookin' at his blackened soul before too much time's passed...
"Mr Flack?" Hammerback's voice interrupts my thoughts, which I ain't ungrateful for. Scramble to my feet and realise I was gettin' kinda stiff sittin' on the steps of the Sheriff's Office.
"Hammerback. What's happenin'?" I ask, dustin' down my breeches before shovin' my hands in my pockets.
Kinda' self-consciously, he touches the scrape he's got on his forehead. "Doctor Hawkes and I have just finished a brief conference and I wondered if there was any assistance I can offer you out here?" Lookin' a little apologetic he adds. "That is not to suggest, of course, that you are incapable of managing things." He looks around him, takin' in the sight of the near enough empty street.
I shrug. "Don't reckon there's anythin' else you can do. Baines sure ain't in any state to be causin' any more trouble and his gang are all locked up. Most folks are back in their houses. All I gotta do now is go see a few folks then head home myself. Got Messer stayin' with me and I want to make sure he's all right."
Hammerback looks grave. "Of course. The poor man. Nothing less than a tragedy for him; a tragedy averted, indeed, but averted at a most terrible cost. I fear that he is and will be deeply affected by this. He may appear to be a brash young gentleman on the surface, but he has a rather fragile interior he keeps hidden away."
Gotta say, for a man who spends most of his time with the dead, there ain't many who've got more insight into the livin' than he has. I maybe wouldn't have used exactly the words he did, or as many, but he's described Messer pretty much dead on - pretends he don't care about much at all, but that ain't the truth. Fact is, Messer cares a lot. Cares too much sometimes and that's what gets him into trouble. He was one of the first whose safety I made sure of after we were all outta the saloon; made sure Mr West took him over to my place and got him settled there. After I tell Hammerback all that he looks approvin'.
Asks me next about Miss Monroe, and I'm able to put his mind at rest when I tell him she's stayin' with Miss Jessica and her parents tonight. Watched Miss Jessica escortin' her over to their place, just after she asked me to make sure I say goodnight to her when I'm all finished up. That I don't tell Hammerback; man's too fond of askin' questions sometimes about things he don't need to know about.
Though thinkin' of questions, there's still an important one to be asked. "You got Mac and Stell safe at your place, right? How they doin'?"
Hammerback nods and his gaze darts away for a moment. "Indeed we have. My dear Martha is taking care of them both as we speak."
That don't entirely answer what I was askin' him. Somethin' tells me there's somethin' he ain't tellin' me. So I ask him again and if I ain't much mistaken, he looks sorta' hesitant, before replyin' that they're as well as can be expected, which prompts another question.
"Has Martha managed to persuade them both to get some sleep?" Mild and gentle she may appear to be, but there's a thread of steel runnin' through Martha Hammerback. Reckon even Mac and Stella might have met their match with her. And in the case of gettin' them to rest, well, miracles happen sometimes...
Hammerback clears his throat, lookin' at me over the top of his spectacles as he answers. "They're not asleep, at least they weren't when I left, but they're in good hands with Martha, safe from any more harm."
Any more harm? What in heck's he talkin' about? Surely between here and the Hammerbacks' front door they couldn't have found themselves in any more trouble... Could they? Geez, if my hair ain't grey by the mornin', that'll be a miracle and all.
"What are you holdin' back, Hammerback?" I demand, harsher than I meant to as I realise the man looks tired all of a sudden and I can see the injury he's taken ain't doin' him much good. Seems he's in need of bein' in Martha's capable hands too. "What's happened with them?" I ask in a softer voice.
Hammerback sighs before admittin' that him and Martha found Mac on the verge of collapse same as Stell. Tells me the ordeal of seein' her home fall down in front of her eyes proved too much...
"What do you mean? She saw it? Saw the roof fall in?" Damn. That was the last thing I wanted to hear. Hoped Mac might have gotten her away before that happened. For her to have seen that... Oh man.
Hammerback pushes his spectacles up his nose, shufflin' his feet a little in the trodden-down snow as he tells me that as far as he can judge, she's in a state of shock; not respondin' to anyone or anythin'.
Shakin' my head at that, I've gotta ask him how Mac is as well. He sure weren't the picture of health and if Stell's in the kinda' state Hammerback's describin', then it's gonna be takin' a toll on him and all. With Mac and Stell, if you cut one of them, the other bleeds. Simple as that. Knowin' Mac, I can see the kinda' difficulty there's gonna be with him. He ain't gonna rest till he knows Stell's all right. Reckon the man thinks he can keep goin' sometimes on nothin' but fresh air and stubbornness. Tends to forget he's human and needs to rest now and again.
Lookin' weary, Hammerback confirms exactly what I thought.
Still, at least I know the two of 'em are alive and conscious, which is more than we've been able to say about them on other occasions. The bein' conscious part anyhow. Though I still affirm it's nothin' less than a miracle that both of 'em are alive today after some of the adventures they've been through.
However. That ain't important right now. Hammerback's lookin' at me kinda' expectantly, so I clap him on the shoulder, tell him I'm grateful for everythin' he's done and that I'll call in and see for myself later how the Sheriff and Saloon Owner are. Man seems happy enough with that and he heads in the direction of his home, leavin' me to sit back down on the steps for another moment. Know I really ain't got time for sittin'; there's still a few more hours of the day to go and I got a lot to take in. Guess all I really want to do is strike this day off the calendar and wake up to a new dawn tomorrow.
Reckon the best thing I can do is make my rounds, then go make the best of the remains of the day and wish Miss Jessica a good night.
I'm thinkin' of her as I'm headin' over to the Doc's and it gives a lift to my footsteps. Thankful don't begin to describe how I feel about her bein' safe and unharmed. Could all have turned out differently today, real differently... and that just don't bear thinkin' about. Still, I gotta acknowledge that I ain't never felt terror like I felt earlier, all the time we were tied up and I knew that I was helpless to do anythin' to protect her. Only comfort I had was knowin Miss Jessica was safe with her Ma and Pa. Even though it should rightly have been me keepin' her safe, protectin' her.
Thinkin' about protectin' the lady I care about brings to mind all of a sudden the memory of Mac's attempt to protect Stell when Baines tried to grab her. Ain't never seen him like that before. Never seen him show that kinda' hatred and fury. Man. Reckon if he'd have had all his strength, Baines wouldn't have stood a chance. And I reckon if it had been down to Mac alone, that sonofabitch would be nothin' more now than a heap of cinders amongst the remains of the Saloon. Sure would have been happy about that myself. Guess Stell's got too much of a heart 'cause I'm pretty sure she was the one persuadin' Mac to drag him out, rightly or wrongly, I don't know...
Anyways, I'm gonna hurry my steps along to the Doc's place. I'd gotten chilled sittin' down and I know he's gonna have a fire blazin'. Likely he'll have some food to hand and all. Mrs Wildman ain't quite the cook Martha is, but I ain't gonna be refusin' any of her cake or cookies. Ain't had a bite of food since breakfast and my stomach's startin' to protest. Loudly.
Only takes me a moment more to reach the Doc's house. Guess he must've seen me comin' as the front door opens before I even reach it.
"Come on in, Don." He draws me in over the threshold. "Mrs Wildman's just brewed some coffee as it seems likely to be a long night. Care for a cup and a bite to eat?"
Well, as I tell him, it ain't often I refuse an offer like that, especially knowin' that his coffee is usually served up with cookies of some kind. Reckon the Doc's got almost as sweet a tooth as I have.
He's soon got me sittin' in front of the fire and we're facin' each other both comfortable in the two worn old armchairs he's got placed in exactly the right spot for warmth. The heat's soakin' into me nicely as Mrs Wildman hurries in with a tray of coffee and cookies which I help myself to.
"Can only spare you a few minutes," the Doc warns me as he lifts his cup and blows across the surface of its contents. "My patient isn't likely to last the night. Not a lot I can do for him except make him comfortable and give him something to reduce the pain he's in, but I don't like to abandon a dying man."
"Even such a man as he is?" Words are out before I can stop them. I ain't ashamed of sayin' 'em though. Know that I ain't gonna be the only one questionin' the humanity of Baines. Guess I find it hard to understand the Doc's thinkin' on some things, especially knowin' he was threatened and all by the man responsible for so much destruction and pain. So he's in pain himself now. Well, maybe he's only gettin' a fraction of what he deserves.
The Doc says nothin', only sighs, places his cup in its saucer and turns it round and round, his eyes cast downwards. Finally he looks up and speaks. "I know how you feel, Don, but... I took an oath when I became a doctor and if I refused to treat him, I'd be breaking that oath and that I'm not prepared to do. I'm not giving him any special kind of treatment. Like I said, there's nothing I can do to save him. I'm just offering him the humanity he hasn't got in his last hours. At the very least," he continues, meetin' my gaze, his face lit by the flames in the fireplace, "we're showing him we're better than him. We're not the kind to let a man die in cold blood. Even if he is." There's a shadow that falls across his face as he leans back in his chair and sips at his coffee.
There's nothin' I can say to that. Maybe I agree with him, maybe I don't. The Doc don't press me to say anythin' though, which I'm thankful for, and for a few minutes we sit there drinkin' our coffee, eatin' and starin' into the fire in silence. Both of us thinkin' our own thoughts.
Soon as he's drained his cup and brushed the crumbs from his waistcoat, the Doc's outta' his chair and apologisin' to me, which I tell him there's no need for.
"You gotta do what you gotta do," I shrug. "Just... give us any news when you have it and make sure you get some sleep yourself. You ain't had much in the way of rest yourself the last few days." Raise my eyebrows at him and he simply gives me a wry smile.
"I'm not the only one," is his only comment as he walks me to the front door. "Tell Taylor I'll check on him and Stella in the morning unless they need me before then. I'll come check on Danny again too; I bandaged his feet earlier and treated them as best I could."
I nod. "Sure thing. Thanks. Messer's safe with me for the night, I'll keep a close eye. Guess there ain't much more you can do for his physical needs for the time bein', but it's gonna take some time for his mind to recover."
"He'll get there," The Doc assures me, givin' me a penetratin' look, guessin' some of the worries on my mind. "Same as we all will. With each other's help."
That gives me some comfort, and it's with a lighter heart I step down off the boardwalk and make my way over to the Hammerbacks'. Can see the remains of the saloon outta the corner of my eye, but I don't turn and look.
Their house is real quiet as I approach. Aint no light from the upstairs rooms and only a faint sorta' glow from the downstairs. Guess like many folks, they've retired to their beds but I don't reckon sleep's gonna come straight away for any of us tonight. Just in case though, I give a real soft knock on the front door. Don't get no answer at first, so I wander along to the window and peer in. Mac's visible, sittin' by the fire, starin' into it, and judgin' by the mop of curly hair I can just about make out, Stell's lyin' on the couch with her back to the room, and him. Well, one of em's awake for sure so it ain't gonna do no harm if I tap real gently on the window.
That catches Mac's attention and after lookin' up and seein' me he gets himself off of the floor and makes his way to the door. Favourin' his right leg, that ain't difficult to see. Moment or two later, he's ushered me into the house, with a finger to his lips.
"Stella's asleep and the rest of the household are upstairs," he says quietly, guidin' me over to a chair a little way from the fireplace. Room's real dark, ain't no light except from the fire. Casts all kinda' shadows about the place and over him, can see all the hollows in his face...
"So why ain't you sleepin'?" I can't help myself askin'. He just sorta' stares at me. Geez. From the look he's givin' me, you'd think I'd just asked him why he ain't drinkin' poison. Ain't nothin' wrong with an honest few hours of sleep. Does a man good.
"You know, Mac, you really should give sleepin' a try sometime," I whisper, tryin' to keep my face as serious as I can.
The look of scorn on his face increases as he eases himself down in the chair opposite me. "I'll sleep when I need to," he says in a real gravelly voice. "What can I do for you? Everythin' all right in town?"
I fix him with what I hope's an impressive sorta' stare. "Everything's fine. Nothin' for you to worry about. Matter of fact, I came to see how you and Stella were and reassure you that the town's all safe indoors and likely in their beds. Where you oughtta be," I can't help makin' the point again.
Mac ain't impressed. All he does is nod slowly. "Hammerback said you were gonna call by, appreciate it. Glad to hear all that." There's a pause as he shifts his leg, wincin' a little. "Thanks for all you've done to help," he adds, sendin' a quick glance over to the couch where Stell's lyin' huddled under a blanket. Ain't been a sound or a move from her. Guess if she's sleepin' it's a good thing...
Answerin' Mac though, I shrug. "Like I said earlier, it's a Deputy's duty."
He nods, but his attention ain't on me. There's a frown crossin' his face as his eyes wander over to Stell again. "How's she doin'?" I ask.
A heavy sigh's all the answer I get from him at first, before he turns to me again and his face is troubled. "Never seen her so... so lost," he admits in a low voice. "Since she saw the Saloon collapse, she ain't said a word, ain't shed a tear... nothin'."
That last word kinda' drops outta his mouth like a ball of lead.
"Least she's sleepin'," I offer him my thoughts from a moment ago and he nods absently. Don't know what else I can usefully say at this point. Find both of us turnin' our gazes to the woman on the couch. She looks suddenly kinda' small all curled up like she is under a large and heavy lookin' blanket. More fragile than I've ever seen her. I know she's strong though; strong enough to recover from even such a blow as this. Least, I hope she is...
In the silence, after I've caught sight of a plate of bread and butter by the couch and decide that it ain't really the time to ask leave to take a slice or two, there's the sound of an ember droppin' and a small spurt of flame from the fire. Mac tenses in an instant, his eyes dartin' over to it and to Stell. She stirs, shiftin' onto her back and mutterin' somethin' I ain't able to make out. In a few steps, movin' fast despite his leg, Mac's at her side, kneelin' down and murmurin' a few words to her as he rearranges the blanket over her. Whatever he says, and I'm too far away to hear, seems it has the desired effect and she settles again. After watchin' her warily for a few more moments, Mac exhales and stands up. With more than a wince this time for his leg.
I decide now's a good time to be leavin' them, and maybe leavin' Mac to sleep. But not before I've given him a few words of advice. Gettin' up, after whisperin' to him that I'm gonna go check on Messer, I beckon him over to the door.
"One more thing before I go, Mac," I plunge in before I can change my mind and fix him with a serious look as this is somethin' I've had on my mind for a while. "What's it gonna take for you and Stell to get things sorted officially between you, huh? Last few days you've survived a blizzard, bein' trapped, fire, not to mention all the other life-threatenin' incidents you two have faced in the past couple of years such as snake bites, shootings, fallin' off horses... you know, there ain't much left to befall you both, except..." Stop myself just in time; I ain't gonna tempt fate by suggestin' any more trouble they could get themselves into. "Anyhow, what..."
"What's your point, Don?" Mac interrupts me kinda' harshly. However, I ain't gonna be diverted. Someone's gotta tell him what most of the rest of us are thinkin'. And if he'd have just let me speak a moment longer, I'd have got to my point.
Glarin' at him and foldin' my arms, I press on despite feelin' kinda' outta my depth and uncomfortable talkin' about this sorta' thing. "You know darn well what my point is. You and Stell, you're two stubborn people; two people who... who guard your hearts real carefully and who don't find openin' yourself up to feelings easy, but 'cause I'm a friend to both of you, I'm gonna speak my mind: you're in danger of leavin' things too late. Don't lose the chance you both got for happiness."
There's silence soon as I finish speakin'; even the fire seems to have grown ears and is waitin' for what's gonna be said next.
The expression on Mac's face ain't readable. Maybe I've gone and stepped over the lines of the friendship we got, but I sure don't regret sayin' what I did. Besides, what's said is said and I reckon someone needed to say somethin'. And if it weren't me, well, I don't know who else was gonna do it.
When Mac still ain't responded after a few real long moments, I shake my head and step out the front door and onto the porch. "Think about what I've said and please, get some sleep..."
His hand on my arm stops me. "We ain't left it too late," he says gruffly. "I'm gonna make sure of that."
I hold his gaze for a second, judgin' the look in his eyes. Ain't nothin' but the truth there. "Make sure you do." I say.
Without a word, he releases my arm and I head down the steps, turnin' as soon as I reach the street to call out quietly. "Goodnight, Mac. Sleep well."
They're my partin' words, but whether he hears them or not, I ain't sure 'cause the front door is already closin'.
Still, after speakin' to him, I feel kinda' reassured, about him and Stell at least. When Mac says he's gonna do somethin', he does it. All I want for the two of them is for them to be happy. After the tragedies we've faced today, the whole town needs some happiness, those two maybe most of all. Messer and Lindsay got each other and have taken the step of actually gettin' themselves engaged; Mac and Stell though... like I just told Mac, they don't find it easy to admit they need the support of anyone, even each other. But I've done what I can. Rest is down to them.
Most pressin' right now to me is the call I promised to make on Miss Jessica. If I don't get myself over to her place real soon, she's gonna start worryin'.
I gotta walk past the remains of the Saloon to reach her house; smell of smoke's real strong and kinda' bitter in the air, and the mess of timbers and ash left behind is a sorry sight, a real sorry sight. I reckon we ain't gonna lose the smell of smoke from round town for some time. Gonna take time for it to cool down too, still a real powerful heat comin' from it.
Find myself hurryin' to get past it, but as I'm doin' that I come to the realisation that we've lived through a real dark day today, and the fact we did live through it means we got lighter days ahead of us...
"Don!"
I've reached the boardwalk of Miss Jessica's house already and no less a person than Miss Jessica herself is waitin' for me in the doorway, a shawl wrapped round her, a lantern in her hand and a welcomin' smile on her face.
Givin' me a quick warnin' look as she comes to the top of the steps, she gestures up at the house. "Everyone's upstairs now after we had a bite to eat together; Miss Monroe was asleep almost before we got her into bed. Ma and Pa think I'm fast asleep and dreamin' too, but I slipped downstairs soon as I heard them go up to their bedroom and I've been waitin' by the window for you. Came outside soon as I saw you."
"Hope you ain't gotten cold standin' there," I whisper, placin' my hands on the rail along the porch. She smiles and her warm hand touches my cheek.
"I ain't cold, see?" she replies. "Though I guess it ain't a good idea for us to be standin' outside too long."
"I guess it ain't," I answer, though both of us ain't in a hurry to move.
Still smilin' at me, she leans forward a little more. "I'm glad you're all right," she murmurs and due to the fact that she's standin' on the porch and I'm still on the street, she's gained a few inches of height over me. Meanin' she's able to bend down a little and place a kiss on the top of my head.
Guess it startles both of us a little and she steps back, her cheeks flushin' in the lantern light. "I'm sorry, I..." she starts, but wantin' to save her from any more embarrassment, I put my foot up onto the boardwalk, step up there and return the kiss.
Just a touch of our lips together and I guess it only lasts a few seconds, but it lifts away all the cares from my mind. Whatever the future is, I got a feelin' the two of us are gonna be facin' it together.
I pull back slowly and find Miss Jessica lookin' at me with a shy sorta' smile at the corners of her mouth and sparkles in her eyes.
"We should both get some sleep," she says softly and I realise she's holdin' my hand. "Tomorrow's gonna be a busy day."
"Sure is." I set my shoulders, feelin' all the stronger, keepin' hold of her gaze. "There's a whole lot ahead of us."
She looks at me, kinda' studyin' me and I know she understands what I'm thinkin' as she nods.
There's a sound comes from upstairs and Miss Jessica looks anxious, so I decide it's time to take my leave. With a hurried goodnight, our hands separate and she disappears indoors. I stand watchin' a little longer, even after the front door shuts. Partin' from her ain't so sweet, but I know I'll be seein' her in the mornin'. As I start makin' my way home, I can't resist stoppin' and lookin' round once more, just in time to see a flicker of candlelight in her room.
Save for a few wisps of smoke, the street's deserted and Miss Jessica's too far away to hear, but I whisper a goodnight anyway before turnin' my footsteps homewards.
Thanks for reading; reviews very welcome and replied to as usual with an extra scene :) Lily x