A/N: So sorry this took me so long! I re-wrote this thing about a million times before I settled on this. I love this song for Shawn, I think certain parts (obviously the parts I used LOL) of this song are absolutely perfect for him... in a heartbreaking sort of way. With that said, it's not quite as easy to create a one shot around, but then this came to me and I kinda sort of like it. Do note that this chapter has light Whump... also some humor as well. Enjoy!

Tonight I feel like the world won't miss me

So much to say but there's no one listening

If we're alone are we all together in that

Shawn heard the pitter-patter of water in the distance as he slowly came to. The crushing blow to his head did nothing to damage his memory, unfortunately. Which meant he remembered everything, even if it was slightly fuzzy. He knew that would change. That he'd remember it all, in full color detail before long. Then he'd just have himself, and his memories.

He knew that no one was looking for him, and did he blame them? No, of course not. Not only was he an idiot that had caused Juliet to be hospitalized, but he had let his secret slip. In fact, he'd be sharing a jail cell with a very unfriendly cellmate right now, had he not been knocked unconscious and kidnapped.

Not that, this was a new occurrence, he was Shawn Spencer after all. It was what he did best. As his dad would say, 'You don't go looking for trouble kid, trouble finds you.' He had planned on running, not because he wanted Gus or his father to take the hit for him. In fact it was the exact opposite. Without someone to charge, aka him, then they had nothing to charge Gus or his father with. It was the perfect plan, or at least it would have been.

However, his latest case. The one that had Jules in a hospital, had yet to be solved. At least Lassiter hadn't solved it yet. Shawn had, but no one was taking him at his word anymore, and could he blame that? No. Although sitting on the uncomfortable chair, with his arms pulled behind him so tightly that he no longer had feeling in them, he had to say that he wished just a little that they would have listened.

He might not be psychic, but his success record should speak for itself. Then again, the chief had promised him that if he was lying that he'd be rotting in a cell of hindering a police investigation. He needed to brush up on his police mumble-jumbo, but he was certain that meant that his success record would go down the toilet because of his compulsive lying tendencies.

The best outcome from all of this that he could hope for, would be that Juliet would be just fine. Also, that no one got too awful tore up over the fact that he died without them knowing, or probably caring.

I am doing the best I can with everything I am

Don't you know nobody's perfect

Do you understand how hard I'm trying to do the best I can

The best I can

Shawn woke again after what felt like a few hours. The face in front of him, was grinning broadly. His teeth were gaped and sticking out a little further than absolutely necessary. Then again, dental hygiene probably not real important psychos who kidnap fully grown adults.

"'Ello there psychic boy... how's the accommodations?" Shawn shook his head. This inbred freak should not know any word with more than two, possibly three syllables. Hell the fact that he knew words with more than three syllables shocked him on more than one occasion.

"What'd you learn that in kidnapper school... or wait, did you get the new draft of Kidnapping for Dummies?" His eyebrow quirked, as the gaped tooth man raised his hand and connected with the side of Shawn's face. Groaning for a moment, Shawn spat out a mouth full of blood, before eying his kidnapper again. "Wow, not so bright, but you got some strength on your side. Now, I am going to assume that you are not the ringleader. I mean... look at you."

Shawn watched as his hand went backward and whipped forward with renewed force. The jolt snapped his head backward so hard that he swore he could hear something snap. Well, at this pace, he'd be dead soon. That was something to look forward too. If they couldn't find him... alive that was, then there would be no one to prosecute. Which meant no trouble for his family. For Gus or this father. Hell even his mother.

"Now, you listen to me psychic boy! We gots a video feed right there." He paused to point at the small television that was connected to a camcorder on a tripod. Off on the left side was a small laptop.

"Oh my snaggle-tooth friend, you're only pretending to be an inbred idiot..when in reality you're a boy genius... who wants what?"

Snarling, his 'snaggle-tooth friend' glared at him for a moment before he continued. "The feed is being sent to your little police friends. Ya know, the ones you help with your psychic powers..."

Shawn couldn't help the laugh that exploded from his mouth. Psychic powers, really? This guy, was totally not the ringleader here.

"You hush now, let me finish." Shawn let his laughter subside into fitting giggles, as he listened as well as he could. Damn ADD. "If they want you to be returned without being hurt..." Shawn's eyebrow shot up. "Well, more than I already did, then they's gonna have to send us some moneys."

"Wait a second here. So your telling me that, what, your video taping me... and that if I have any shot of getting out of this... absolutely amazing hell hole alive, that they have to pay you 'moneys'?"

Shaking his head, he smile. "Yes'em."

Laughing again, Shawn groaned at the pain it caused in his stomach. "Well then, here's to you not getting you're 'moneys' and me dying a certain horrible death... since... well they don't want nothing to do with me. I guess we're both shit out of luck here."

Grumbling, the man before him jabbed quickly, his fist connecting hard with Shawn's stomach. The scream of pain reverberated off the walls. Something snapped, he felt it. The pain... was far too severe for something to have not broken. Taking small shallow breaths, Shawn was able to make the pain subside, if only a little bit.

"You heard me. Money for psychic boy... or I beat him until he's unidentifiable."

Looking up, and know he'd earn another painful punch, Shawn grinned at him. "Excuse me, inbred idiot boy... how exactly do you know these large words, when you look and act like that?"

The punch to his gut was so painful that Shawn's vision went fuzzy, and slowly the blackness overtook him.

A second chance to give you something

It takes a lifetime to come from nothing

I refuse to believe in running away

Shawn's head felt as if it had ruptured and been haphazardly glued back together. The pulsating pain that emanated from both his temples made it feel as if had a rapid heartbeat in his head. Without anything else to do, but keep his eyes closed to keep the unforgiving light out... wait... where did the light come from? His prison had been many things. For example, it was hot, hellish, and damp. It however, didn't have any light.

Groaning... or well more moaning, he let his eyes flutter open. The stark white walls that made the blindingly bright light worse was a dead giveaway. Right along with the antiseptic smell. How in the hell had he missed that? Granted, he didn't have a super smeller like Gus, but damn you could spot the way too clean smell a mile away.

"Shawn?" The voice was quiet... meek... and familiar. It wasn't his father. That much he knew. He was also certain it wasn't Gus... or even Lassiter for that matter.

Turning his head slowly, carefully to keep the rolling nausea at bay, he faced the voice. He gasped, only slightly in pain, more so to that face of who was staring back at him. The last time he'd seen her... after she had been shot... she had swore that she never wanted to see him again. Yet... here she was. The concern on her face sped his heart up. Part of him hoping that she'd forgive him, and the other part knowing she never could.

"Mmhm..." Pausing, he tried to clear his throat, and ended up trying to hack up one and a half of his lungs. Carefully, she placed a paper cup to his mouth and he drank greedily from it. Once his throat was adequately moisturized, he tried again. "Hey."

He watched as she tried to fight a smile on her lips. "You scared the hell out of us!"

What in the hell did that mean...us? Who is us? Well, if Jules was here... and worried, then perhaps us meant his father and Gus. Out of any of his 'family' they'd be the first to forgive him.

"Yeah, your dad and Gus... Chief Vick... I think even Carlton was a little worried for a bit. We found you faster than we anticipated because you were right. Markoff was involved, and well the guy that was running your uh...prison was as stupid as you thought. He didn't even bounce the signal off of any satellites. Didn't use a fake IP address nothing. We were able to locate you quickly, thank god..."

He nodded his head just a bit, unable to take any other movements. "So... why were you so worried? I mean, if you found me quickly, the idiot only got in a couple of punches before I passed out."

She shook her head, before gripping a hold of his hand. "You didn't just pass out Shawn. The first punch... it broke three of your ribs..."

"I knew I heard a crack!..Ah! Shit... that hurt." He pouted slightly.

"Yeah, I was getting there. The second punch caused two of the three broken ribs to puncture your lung. When we found you, you weren't breathing. We thought you were going to die before the paramedics even made it to the scene. Carlton and myself did CPR until they got there...Which unfortunately caused more damage to your lung..."

Shawn gulped, a slight sheen of sweat covered his brow. "Am I..."

"Your going to be okay. Aside from the initial puncture wounds, the other damage was minor. They were able to repair your lung."

Shaking his head he felt tears well up in his eyes. He watched in near slow motion as Juliet leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Don't scare me like that again..." He had to smile at that, there was no choice in the matter.

"I shall try..." Shawn looked away, trying to find the courage to ask the question that had been lingering in his mind since he had woken up. "Jules." If he was going to do it, he couldn't look at her.

"Yeah?" The question lingered in the air for what seemed an eternity.

"Why are you here?" Still he stared out the window, even if all he could see was the clouds and the blue sky above.

"Because I care about you?"

He laughed, but it wasn't his usual laugh. This one was mocking, but not towards her, toward himself. "But why? I lied to you... to everyone. I got you shot, that was me! I don't deserve for you to care... or worry about me."

Leaning forward, Juliet lightly gripped his chin to turn his face toward her. "Yes, you lied. It broke my heart Shawn, but afterward I realized why you did it. It still hurt, but not as bad. I was angry, yes, but I got over it. I mean, I did have my suspicions as it was. Carlton was on a warpath. He just knew you'd run, and when you didn't show up for your meeting with the chief... he gloated. Then we got the feed, and I just felt my entire world crumble down around me. In the instant that I saw your face on that feed... I knew that I couldn't be mad anymore because I loved you too much! Yes, it was a bone-headed thing to do, but like you said...Carlton didn't leave you a choice. You did what you had to do. I don't blame you for that... I do blame you for not telling me sooner. For not trusting me enough to tell me."

Tears welled up in Shawn's eyes, as he gripped her hand in his. "I didn't tell you because I knew that if anyone ever found out the truth... I couldn't do that to you. I loved you too much."

Smiling through her own tears, Juliet pressed her to his forehead, before pressing her forehead against his. "Just don't lie to me ever again... got it?" Her eyebrow quirked.

"Umhm. I got it." He smiled, as he leaned back down against the bed and closed his eyes. Happy... it was the only feeling he could feel right now.