A/N: Alright... so I wanna start with saying I love this song and think that it applies to EVERY couple once and a while. Every couple has that moment when they know they should have done someething they didn't. Now that's said... I decided to try something different. Basically... it's Shawn's thoughts of how he got into his current position.

WARNING: Slightly depressing and sad (just the way I write them!)

Should've kissed you there

I should've held your face

I should've watched those eyes

Instead of run in place

It was at this moment in his life, Shawn Spencer could narrow it down to seconds of time that he had lost his chance with Juliet O'Hara forever. The words... the ones that he had wanted to speak out-loud forever were there. Right on the tip of his tongue, and then Gus barged into the room. He knew what Shawn was trying to do! Yet he insisted on ruining what could have been the happiest moment in his life.

Though Shawn was ecstatic to hear that Jules was healthy, that she didn't have Thornberg. He did, however, need to do this still. He had every plan of going through with it too.

"I still wanna say what I wanted to say. If that's okay?"

That was the smoothest line ever. Shawn felt his eyes roll at the memory that had conger up in his mind. The look on her face, a mixture of happiness and confusion.

"Sure."

She had given him the go ahead. Juliet, he could tell, wanted to hear what he had to say.

"Okay... uh, Jules. How do I want to say this? You know how when we are kids? There were all those cool prizes at the bottom of cereal boxes."

To this day, even after repeated viewings of the scene inside his own mind, Shawn didn't understand why he had chosen cereal boxes as his opening speech. The confusion that never left Juliet's face only furthered the question as to why?

"Yeah."

The smile never left her face, nor did the giddiness. Maybe, on some level, she knew where I was headed. If only that level hadn't been so deep down I wouldn't be in my current position.

"Well, there's two kinds of kids. There's the kid that flips the box over, and open it from the bottom, and grabbed the prize right away. Then there was the kid that waited patiently, and ate bowl after bowl of cereal, until the prize just tumbled out on it's own. There's also a third kid named Mikey, who'll eat anything, even the prize, but he's not really important right now."

Shawn's head rested against his palm. The only thing stopping him from smacking it against his forehead. What had he been thinking to joke during such a serious time, a serious conversation. That was probably the reason why Juliet didn't want to be with him, to date him. If he really sat back and thought about it. He couldn't be serious long enough to have a grown-up conversation. He sighed, as the flashback continued it's assault.

"Okay, and?"

Her eyebrow had quirked in true confusion. It was the little things like that, which had him falling in love with her in the first place. Another sigh sounded from his mouth. Falling in love. Who knew it could happen to him? He had always been the guy that vowed he'd never fall in love. That love wasn't for him, that he needed no woman to make him happy. Until that first day in the diner...

"I didn't wait. I didn't wait for my decoder ring, or my Frankenberry action figure when I was a kid. So what am I waiting for now? All I know is I don't want to miss out on the prize."

A flicker of realization glance across her features, and for a second he thought he had been in the free and clear. That she knew exactly what he was seeking. However, that second was over, the realization was gone.

"What are you trying to say, Shawn?"

Though the realization was gone, there was still something there. He couldn't quite put his finger on it back then, and he still couldn't now. However, something in her eyes made him think that she knew exactly what he was trying to say.

"That I... that I... I don't know"

Stuttering was real smooth. Saying I don't know... even smoother. Then Lassie-face waltzed in. The entire moment that he had worked so hard for was gone. He shook his head, when all he really wanted was to beat it against the wall. In that moment, instead of trying to speak he should have just caressed her face, and watched her beautiful ocean blue eyes dance, and kissed her. He, however, was an idiot.

I should've called you out

I should've said your name

I should've turned around

I should've looked again

However, it was this moment in which he had truly lost her. Not only just figuratively, no. He had lost her to another man. While he continually told himself that Declan was a better guy...

"Shawn..."

The sound of utter surprise had made his heart speed up to an unnatural pace. It sort of felt like the last leg of a marathon was thudding away inside his chest.

"Hey..."

No one ever claimed Shawn was a smooth talker... Oh wait, he had! Then again, the surprised hey was warranted after she had taken him by surprise like that.

"Hi. Why are you standing in Declan's foyer all by yourself?"

The confusion mixed with a sad sort of happy made Shawn realize that he was an idiot for letting Juliet slip through his fingers so many times. Who cared that he was supposedly on a date with Abigail – yeah that had gone smoothly when he sat there feeling ten kinds of uncomfortable while pining after the one that could have been – or if he ex-boyfriend was in town and supposed danger. Who cared? Oh wait, apparently Shawn did. At least that was always his excuse. Truth be told he was just afraid of what they might have if he gave his whole self over to her.

"Creepy?"

Also the jokester. Well he used to be. Shawn had lost that part of himself a good long time ago, and just had never been able to get it back.

"Sort of."

Though he could admit that Juliet made the cutest faces when she was confused, or in this instance didn't want to make him uncomfortable. Shawn could sense that she wanted him there, but he could also feel her hesitation.

"Yeah-"

"Shawn, you have solved a lot of cases for the SBPD, but this one was particularly impressive. I mean, Bolivian embassy's and international espionage, how did you and Gus do it all by yourself?"

Shawn could admit when he was hurt about as well as he could handle fishing with his father in one of his ridiculous shirts. Though he could honestly say that the tone of disbelieving that Jules had thrown his way had cut him just a little. It wasn't that she didn't believe he could do it, it was that she didn't believe he could do it alone... or at least with just him and Gus. Had she been right? Yes. Did he want to tell her that? No.

"Well I'm not going to lie to you Jules, it was difficult. But now that it's over I'm ready to put freelance spy on my list of special skills-"

"Well here's a mystery you can solve for me. Yesterday I came here after work and I found three crème brulee dishes by Declan's computer. Any idea who could have eaten all of those?"

Shawn had to give her props though. Juliet was a crafty one, when she wanted answers. Right then, she wanted an answer that he did not want to give her.

"Ummhmm... I would say that Declan has an enormous sweet tooth. And that shouldn't be ignored Jules, sugar is a gateway drug."

The look on her face told Shawn everything he needed. She wasn't buying one word that seeped from his mouth.

"Um... Well I guess that will remain an open case."

Juliet's eyes stared a hole straight through Shawn, and yet she thought it would break him. How she was wrong.

"Yeah, guess so."

A shake of her beautiful blond hair, and a glance at the wall and it was time to change the subject.

"Well, I was just about to head out and do some shopping for the trip-"

"Right, the trip. Of course. Have a- have a- have a great four days off Jules-"

"It's two weeks Shawn-"

"Wow! That's lengthy. That's significant. That's a real amount of vacation time."

The change of subject wasn't much better however, and Shawn felt his heart race for a whole different reason. Shawn had forgotten all about the trip. All about her leaving with him. Which was why he dignified the stammering and stuttering, and the solemn look of gloom on his face.

"Have an amazing trip. Okay? Promise me. Cause you know they say uh... these kind of trips are once in a lifetime experiences and they're even better when you have someone you care about to share them with, and you do. Take lots of pictures. Not of sights, don't take pictures of buildings. Take pictures of moments. Cause that's what matters. Capture them here... and hold onto them here. At least that's what I would do. I don't know, you might take a blurry picture of your espresso at some random cafe."

Shawn had always realized he had the inability to shut up. Especially when thrown into an uncomfortable situation like this. However, by the pained expression on Juliet's face, he was bound to expect that he had went above and beyond the call of duty here. Then he saw something. It was a tiny flicker of something better... something amazing in her eyes. Then Juliet rushed forward and captured Shawn's lips in what was quite possibly the most awkward, uncomfortable, amazing kiss to ever grace his lips. Then it was over. Declan came back down from buying his hotel and Shawn realized that whatever amazing thing just happened between them was a mistake. He could see it in her eyes. So instead of pushing her, forcing her into a situation that would just ultimately bring her pain, he left. Shawn turned his back and left.

But ohh, I'm staring at the mess I made

I'm staring at the mess I made

I'm staring at the mess I made

As you turn, you take your heart and walk away

Shawn gripped his hands tightly in front of him. The suit he wore clung too tightly to his skin, which felt like it had gone ablaze. Juliet stood a mere few feet in front of him. Her head tilted slightly sideways, as she offered him a smile. Biting his lip, he offered what he hoped to be one in return.

"Shawn..."

Gus stood beside him, and he knew how much this was killing him. Watching Juliet up there. Her flowing white gown that clung to her body just so.

"I know Gus... I know."

Hanging his head, Gus slid away. Shawn sighed, Gus always had been good at reading his emotions. Knowing when he needed someone to talk to and when he wanted to be alone. Though he preferred to suffer alone, right now his internal self was begging for someone to talk to. Anyone really. Just someone that didn't know what he was currently going through. Someone that wouldn't ask if he was okay.

"Shawn..." The voice was far too familiar, and his body reacted in a way that it wasn't allowed to anymore.

"Jules." He faked a smile as he turned to face her. His heart breaking at the look on her face. She was concerned about him. That much he could see. "How's married life treating you?" His eyebrow quirked in his usual way.

A gentle laugh escaped her lips, and all looks of concern left her features. "It's been good... then again I've only been married for about ten minutes."

He sighed, and ran a weary hand through his hair. Oh, how badly he wanted to interrupt their nuptials. To scream to the rafters that he loved her, and that he wanted to be with her. Yet, he was the bigger man, and left her to be happy.

"Are you trying to steal my girl?" If only Declan knew how close to the truth he actually was.

"Oh you know it man!" Shawn forced out a chuckle, as he smack Declan on the back. "Congratulations guys. I gotta go. You know... case and stuff." He paused, and looked over his shoulder. "See you soon Jules." With that he walked slowly away. His head hanging, as his heart was breaking.