a/n: This oneshot isn't really parenthood exactly…but oh well. Neither was Paint, now that I think about it. It's a tad out of character, but oh well. It's cute and funny and fluffy! Please enjoy and review!

Disclaimer: Covert Affairs isn't mine. Even if I wish it was. :(

Blunt

Oh God.

Oh God.

It's been two weeks.

Annie sighed as she tapped at her Blackberry with a stylus, flipping through the blank pages of her calendar.

There was a thin, red line that ran through the days July 31 and August 4. And today it was September 14. No red marks, no red lines beforehand.

She gripped her phone tightly and sighed, closing her eyes.

She remembered he would always have a condom on him somewhere. And she'd take the morning after pills occasionally, just in case.

They had only been married for a month and a half. They were so careful.

Well, not the time to jump to conclusions she thought, dialing her sister's number.

"Hey, I have the day off. You want to get a quick brunch or something?"

The door chimed happily as Annie entered the tiny café.

"Hey, Dani," she chirped, sitting down in the seat opposite her. She then noticed the tall redhead also sitting at the table, "Oh, hi Kim." Kim had a little boy in Chole's class and had become quick friends with Danielle and, eventually, Annie as well. She was a very relaxed and intelligent woman and she had become very good friends with Annie and Auggie over the past year.

Danielle snapped her compact shut and slipped in back into her purse, eyed Annie dangerously, "You sound tired. Speak."

Annie laughed nervously and stood abruptly. "Let me go get a cup of coffee first…"

Danielle raised her eyebrows and set down a mug of coffee, a Danish and a croissant in front of her, motioning for Annie to sit down again.

"She already beat you to it," Kim replied with a wry grin, as Annie slumped back into her seat, grabbing the coffee and the croissant.

Annie sipped her coffee and said quietly, "I'm late."

Kim and Danielle's eyes widened, "How long?"

"Two weeks."

Annie lay cuddled on the couch, holding a warm cup of tea gingerly, sipping cautiously, her eyes glued to the TV screen. She sat up quickly as the doorbell chimed.

"Coming!" she yelled, setting down her tea and walking swiftly to the door.

She opened it, and smiled slightly. "Danielle, Kim. What are you guys doing here?"

Danielle grinned happily in turn, held up two grocery bags, and motioned to the pair in Kim's hands, "Let us in first, then we'll talk."

Annie stepped aside and the three walked to the TV room and sat on the various cushions spread on the floor. A James Bond movie was playing.

Danielle reached into the bag and handed Annie a pink and white box.

Annie read the label aloud. "The World's most precise pregnancy test. 99.9 percent accurate."

At this Danielle frowned, "That kind of disappointed me. Why can't it just be 100 percent accurate? But not to worry, we bought fourteen more," she finished with a cheeky smile, holding up the other bags.

"Oh my God, Dani..."

Fifteen plastic cups were lined up against the kitchen counter. The three women stood facing in the opposite direction holding each other's hands, with Annie in the middle.

She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes.

"Are you ready, Annie?" asked Kim, looking worriedly in her direction.

"As ready as I'll ever be," she replied, opening her eyes.

"Okay," exhaled Danielle, "On the count of three."

"One."

"Two."

"THREE!"

Annie winced at the loud volume, "God you guys, I swear, sometimes you make me wanna—"

"The hell is it?" wondered Kim, inspecting the tests. "What does a happy face mean?"

Annie whirled around, slightly disappointed that the other two women had seen the results before she had. But her disappointment was short-lived, for neither knew the true results.

Fifteen cups with plastic things sticking out all had happy faces plastered on their label.

"Not sure. Go check the trash can for a box."

Danielle went to the bin and rummaged through, before letting out a small squeal of delight and reading the back instructions.

"Happy face means … OH MY GOD ANNIE, YOU'RE PREGNANT!"

Annie backed into a chair and collapsed into the seat.

"Annie?" called Danielle apprehensively.

"I'm… I'm pregnant," she said with a small smile. She patted her lower torso gingerly, "Hello, baby."

The two girls let out pent-up shrieks and rushed towards the new mom, careful not to crush the new baby hiding in her tummy.

"I'm so excited! I'm going to be an auntie! I've been waiting for this day for years! Auggie is going to be such a great father! Oh, we totally have to go shopping for her clothes!" wailed Danielle, practically bursting with excitement.

"And we have to buy her furniture!" chimed Kim.

"And we have to get his blankie! And his teddy!"

"Girls—"

"And baby bottles and bibs!"

"And strollers and pacifiers!"

"Guys—"

"AND DIAPERS TOO!"

"The ones with the cute little duckies on them!"

"GUYS—"

"And the—"

"DANI! KIM! GET A GRIP."

"Right."

"Sorry."

Annie breathed a sigh of relief, "Besides, we don't even know if it's a guy or a girl."

"Oh, it's a girl for sure. I have women's intuition," replied Kim confidently.

"Well it just so happens that I'm a pro at predicting a baby's gender. I guessed both mine as girls. And I say Annie's baby is a boy," retorted Danielle, smirking with pride.

Kim narrowed her eyes, "You had two girls. Baby girls run in the family. Ergo, it has to be a girl."

Danielle scoffed, "You're so wrong. It's totally a boy."

"Girl."

"Boy."

"Girl!"

"Boy!"

"Stop it you two!" whined Annie, covering her ears, "You're making me stressed already."

"Sorry."

"Yeah, sorry, sis."

"But hey, if it's a girl, you could name her Charlotte."

"And if it's a boy, you could name him James."

"AND IF YOU HAVE TWINS—"

"You can name the boy JAMES—"

"AND THE GIRL CHARLOTTE!" finished Danielle excitedly, grinning wickedly.

Annie raised an eyebrow, "Or not," she couldn't help but smile along with her friends, "Names will be fun."

Annie stood sadly in front of her mirror for a while, lifting her shirt and patting her flat tummy, "This," she said, "Is going to go away for a while." No more sexy clothes. Only frumpy maternity ones.

But it should be worth it. For that "bundle of joy". Annie was going to be a mom!

Yes!

Knowing that you were a mother made you want to do all sorts of weird motherly things around the house. Cooking, for one.

Annie hummed happily, as she shut the refrigerator door, setting down a long slice of packaged salmon on the kitchen counter. The pregnancy tests had been long since disposed of, and the counter had been wiped clean, thanks to her newfound motherly skills.

As she chopped garlic, she wondered nervously what Auggie would say. Backtrack, she thought, how the hell was she going to tell him in the first place?

"Worry about that later," she muttered, pulling out a cooking tray and slapping the salmon on it. "Cooking first."

Auggie came home with a tired look on his face, but looked up in confusion when the scent of—salmon, was it?—wafted to his nose. He came into the dining room with a surprised look on his face, one that pleased his wife.

"You cooked?" he asked incredulously, "By yourself?"

"Yes, by myself, thank you very much."

"Are you sure?" he inquired with a smile, remembering the time she ordered takeout, but insisted that she made it all herself.

"Absolutely positive. Come, try it!"

They sat down opposite each other and Auggie placed a slice of salmon in his mouth and smiled warmly, "Not bad," he said, licking his lips.

Annie giggled and reached for the bottle of wine, and then poured him a glass before reaching for her glass of water, "I followed the recipe your mom gave me."

Speaking of motherhood…

"Oh, that's nice."

Yes it is nice! You what else is nice? I'm pregnant!

"God, work was so boring today, I felt like I was gonna die…"

Annie just nodded and smiled. How the hell was she going to tell him?

So Auggie, what do you think of a mini-me…

"Joan was giving us all such a hard time today…"

Maybe she wouldn't tell him. Maybe she'd run and hide in the Philippines for nine months and come back with a baby.

Hey Auggie, look what I found! Isn't it cute?

"I swear, listening to hours of surveillance tapes is the worst thing that ever came to the face of the earth…"

Annie grinned politely and said, "Mhm, yeah."

I think babies are nice, Auggie. Don't you want one? Good, 'cause one's on its way!

"The entire tape was just static."

Haha, funny thing Auggie, so Dani and Kim and I decided to get pregnancy tests on whim, and whoo! I'm pregnant ... ha-ha…!

"But Joan made me go through it all three times, saying that my ears would be the only thing to pick up any sounds."

How was she going to tell him? Maybe in a calm, even voice.

Sorry worked sucked today, Auggie. But hey, guess what? I'm pregnant!

"But even I couldn't hear anything. Perhaps there was an interference with the tapes."

Annie smiled at him, and took a good stab at her salmon. Damn salmon.

I'm fucking pregnant. I'm. Fucking. Pregnant.

Nice, sweet tone.

"But she made me listen to all those tapes. All day long. Just static."

Annie frowned. No, too harsh.

Auggie, honey, I'm pregnant…

"You're so lucky it was your day off. I was so antsy all day today. Anything is better than listening to static for hours."

Lose the honey. They weren't that kind of couple. No honey, sweetiepie, honeycakes, God no. Nicknames just weren't their style. Okay then. I'm pregnant. Blunt, and to the point. No need for beating around the bush, right? Right?

"Hopefully Joan finds what she was looking for. Anyway, thanks for listening, Annie. I just needed to vent. You know how these things get," he said softly, reaching for her hand.

"I'm pregnant," she blurted, eyes widening. Whoops, that was supposed to be something along the lines of "Yeah, it's no problem…"

His hand tightened upon hers, "You're… You're pregnant. Oh my God. Oh my God!" he yelled excitedly, grabbing her face and kissing her senseless. He stood and rushed to her, enveloping her in his arms, smiling contentedly. "We're going to be parents," he murmured into her hair, and she leaned against his chest.

She shrieked with surprise as he swept her up in his arms and carried her into the bedroom.

"Might as well make the best of our time before you get too big…"

"Big? Auggie!"

a/n: hope you all enjoyed it. Please review!