A/N: So-I promised less fluffy this go round-and it ended up slightly depressing. So apologies for that. However, please do finish the chapter. There is hope!

If you see him

Tell him I wish him well

How am I doing?

Well, sometimes is hard to tell

I still miss him more than ever

But please don't say a word

Juliet glared at the glass sitting in front of her. Gus was late, and she'd have to return to the station in twenty minutes. Just because her and Shawn had called it quits, didn't mean she didn't want to hear about him. One mistake, one very costly mistake mind you, had run him out of town with promises to never return. It had broken her heart into pieces, but she knew he needed the space.

Spotting the bobbing of the bald head of her new found best friend, Juliet played her part. Smiling brightly, no matter how fake it might be. "Gus!"

Gus smiled back, though it never reached his eyes anymore. His best friend had run away yet again, and this time he had stiffed Gus with an office space that he couldn't use. As far as she knew, Gus had payed on more month's rent in hopes that his friend might return, but after that he was giving the space up.

"Hey, Juliet. How are you today?" He asked, as he flagged down a waitress.

Swiping a hand under her purplish eyes, she yawned loudly. "Exhausted. This case is killing me little by little. No leads, no real evidence."

Gus nodded. He knew that he wasn't here for small talk. He was here for Shawn talk. "So, Shawn called me last night-" It was the same awkward jumping off point. Shawn called the same day every week, like clock-work. Though never very punctual. His latest phone call had come at midnight, just as Gus was getting the number of the hottest girl he'd ever seen, he had been so rudely ripped from his amazing dream. He never spoke for long, always an update about his new town and without fail asked how Juliet was doing. It killed him to see Juliet in such a much, and to hear Shawn's voice break every time he said her name. How he wished his idiot best friend would just come to his senses and return home.

"How is he?" She played with the drink in front of her, avoid Gus's meaningful stare. It was per their usual.

"He's in Atlanta, though he's probably not staying there. Shawn's always been more interested in the smaller towns that lay just outside of bigger cities. They have character." Gus said in his best Shawn impression.

Juliet smiled slightly, though it held a hint of sadness to it. Looking up, tears shone in her eyes. Brushing a finger underneath to catch the first one to fall, Juliet sighed.

"How are you doing, Juliet?" He knew he was over-stepping the firmly set boundaries. Juliet had set them up two months ago when Shawn had first taken off.

Instead of getting upset and storming out like usually, she sighed sadly and shook her head. "I miss him so much, Gus. Some days I think that I'm finally over it all. Then I'll find something of his at my apartment and burst into tears. Every day it's like a new wound in my already to battered heart, and I honestly just can't handle it anymore. I just want him to come home." For the first time, she stared intently into Gus's eyes and realized that he felt the exact way.

"I miss him too, Juliet. He's like family, and whenever he takes off like this it always feels like a part of me is missing." He frowned deeply.

Juliet nodded, "Look, I have to head back." She stood up and readjusted her skirt and blouse. "Please don't tell him what I said. If he comes back, I want it to be because he wants to come back."

Gus nodded. "Scouts honor."

Juliet smiled and patted Gus's shoulder before heading for the door.

If you see her

Tell her I'm doing fine

And if you want to

Say that I think of her from time to time

Shawn sat, his body splayed across the dingy hotel bed. His eyes red, both from lack of sleep and crying. He hated himself right now. He couldn't close his eyes without the haunting memory of that little girl. Her arms outstretched to him—Shawn sniffled. Then it would transition to Juliet, somehow that beautiful blond hair girl would transform into Juliet. The same look of fear and abandonment on her face. Shawn knew that he was a screw up, he had grown accustomed to it, that was until he started dating Juliet. He swore when they started dating that he'd try harder, that he'd be a better man. A man that deserved to call her his own, and he failed her.

Sighing, Shawn sat up, his head in his hands. Usually after he talked to Gus, he could face the remainder of the week with enough poise to get him through. However, it seemed the further away from Santa Barbara he got, the worse he felt. Retrieving his cell phone from the small table, Shawn sighed as he gave in and dialed Gus's number.

He knew it was probably late there, but Shawn needed someone. After three rings, Shawn was intent on hanging up, when the line picked up and a yawn ripped through.

"Shawn?" Gus's voice was still raspy with sleep. This made Shawn feel even worse.

"Hey, buddy." He tried to fake his way through his usual cheery self. It all felt so false.

"What's wrong, Shawn?" Obviously, it sounded false as well.

Shifting uncomfortably on the bed, Shawn sighed, as he battled the tears again. God, he had turned into such a cry baby!

"I just—I can't sleep, Gus." Shawn tried to sound as manly as he could, as a silent sob ripped through his chest.

"Shawn-"

"I keep having nightmares, Gus. Horrible ones. That little girl is dead because of me! Because I missed something so obvious, and now I can't get her out of my head. Not to mention how she so creepily transforms into Jules. Like it's not bad enough that Susie is haunting my every dream, but now Jules is too and I just—I am so tired, Gus."

A sigh sounded from Gus's side, and Shawn knew what he was going to say. How badly he wanted it, and how much he knew that no one wanted him. It ripped at his already too fragile heart.

"Come home, Shawn. Let me help you. God, let your dad help you! You need it and Juliet-"

"And Juliet what?" Shawn's eyebrow quirked. Knowing all it would take, would be to hear that she wanted him home. Then again, he knew that wasn't true. She hadn't called him. If she wanted him home, she would have called—right?

"She's confused, Shawn. You just—took off. No explanation. I had to explain that it was probably Susie's case that had you running for the hills. She deserves and explanation, Shawn. From you."

He sighed, knowing Gus to be right. Yet he didn't trust himself to call her. To hear her voice, and not hop on the first flight back to Santa Barbara. To hell with his Norton!

"I know, Gus. Just add it to the list of horrible things I've done. I'm sure you're probably running out of room on the list. Look, I'm sorry I woke you up. I shouldn't have called. I just, I don't know if you still keep in contact with Jules, but if you do. Could you just tell her I'm fine. Don't tell her about the nightmares. Also, tell her that I think about her sometimes, I don't want her to think that I just never think about her. Just, don't give her false hope, Gus. I told you, I'm not coming back. I know when I'm not wanted, and after Susie—I don't even know how you stomach talking to me. Look I gotta go, try get a little shut-eye. Got an early shift at work tomorrow. Bye, buddy."

Shawn disconnected the call before Gus could say anything else. Swiping a hand against his eyes, he let them fall close, if only to stop the insistent burning. Within a few moments his breathing had evened out, and he was asleep.

Shawn glared at the case file in front of him. Something was wrong, slightly off. He just couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. The look that Susie Carmichael had given him, spoke volumes to his internal monitor. The puffy red eyes and the terror that was so apparent. At first he thought it was just the aftermath of being found roaming around her neighborhood barefoot, wearing her pajamas. That was his first thought, but then he looked deeper. Susie hadn't been lost, she just didn't want to go home.

"Holy-" Shawn jumped from his chair like it was on fire. Gus sent a glare his way until he realized that his best friend had just figured something out, and from looks of it, it was something huge.

"Shawn, what is it?" Gus knew that it was his responsibility, his job to reign Shawn in. To keep him grounded. However, when Shawn's head turned toward him and his hazel eyes locked onto his, Gus knew that no amount of grounding his best friend would help in this situation.

"That sick son of a-"

"Woah! Shawn, what is going on?" Gus asked, placing a hesitant hand on Shawn's shoulder. His hazel eyes flicked around the room quickly.

"Susie was upset, Gus!"

Sighing, Gus shook his head. "Of course she was, Shawn. The poor girl-"

"No!" Shawn roared, his nostrils flaring in a way that Gus had only seen a couple of times in their lives. None of which were ever aimed at him personally. "She wasn't lost, Gus. Don't you see? She didn't want to go home. Gus, we have to get Lassie and Jules to meet us at the Carmichael place. We have to save her!"

Suddenly Gus realized what Shawn was saying, without actually having to put it into words. He felt nauseous. He noticed that Shawn already had his phone out, as he tossed Gus the keys. The look on Shawn's face spoke volumes, and Gus worried what he would do if they didn't get there in time.

Gus pulled his Echo to the curb just as Lassiter's Crown Victoria careened onto the scene. The siren displayed their arrival, and Gus saw Shawn shake his head lightly. Apparently Shawn thought it not the best idea to announce their arrival so quickly. Practically leaping from the car, Shawn beat Lassiter and Juliet to the front door by five whole steps. Pounding hard on the door, an ear piercing scream was heard from the back yard.

Without so much of a backward glance, Shawn took off running in the general direction. Paying no mind to the six foot tall privacy fence. Hopping up, Shawn's hands gripped the top of the fence and he pulled the reminder of his body up and over. His grip slipped slightly, as he careened face first on the ground. Groaning at the pain that flared around his now injured nose, he pushed himself up and ran around the house.

A scream escaped his lips, as he dropped to his knees. Without noticing that he was no longer alone, Lassiter and Juliet pulled their weapons, pointing them at Gary Carmichael's chest. His daughter, Susie, lay lifeless at his feet. His face was dirt smudged, and he quickly dropped the shovel. Lassiter advanced on Gary's position, as Juliet held back. Holstering her weapon, she dropped to her knees, worried about Shawn. His body was shaking so violently that it almost appeared he was having a seizure. Tears were falling stead-fast down his dirt smudged face, quickly mixing with the blood that was now trickling out of both of his nostrils. Juliet placed a hand to his cheek, rubbing soothing circles on the prickly stretch of flesh. His eyes were distant, and Juliet realized that he was in shock. His breathing was hitching slightly, as he took gasping breaths.

"Gus, go wait for the ambulance-" Juliet paused, and remembered Susie. Turning toward her partner, she saw him sadly shake his head. "Tell them that we have someone experiencing severe shock—and a body that needs removed. Go!" Juliet waved him away.

Standing up, Juliet circled Shawn, before kneeling down behind him. Not caring about her skirt any longer, Juliet sat down on the sodden ground, and pulled Shawn against her. His head leaning heavily on her shoulder. The position of his body seemed to help his breathing, if only a little bit. Using her free hand, Juliet rummaged through the pocket of her suit jacket, remembering that she had placed a couple pieces of tissue in there. Removing one of the pieces, Juliet wadded it up and gently prodded Shawn's nose. The pain inflicted, caused a moan to escape his lips.

Juliet could hear trampling footsteps behind her, but she stayed in place. Placing the tissue against the injured nose and pulling it back. Repeating the motions over and over, as she realized that she was quickly falling into shock herself. Shaking her head, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Nodding, she let her partner help her to her feet, as the paramedics swarmed Shawn. Quickly he was placed on a gurney and was being pulled away from her. Sighing, she looked at Lassiter. Blood coated his shirt, and for the first time she realized that he was missing his suit jacket.

"She was alive, barely. I tried to save her, but that bastard—he had beaten her with the shovel. How's Spencer?" Juliet quickly understood his change in subject. He needed to get the memory of the dying child from his mind. Though he might not particularly like Shawn, he was making an effort to dislike him less, if only for her sake.

"He's in shock. I think, maybe, he blames himself. I don't know why—none of us saw this coming, there was no definite sign of abuse. She had no bruises, no history of broken bones."

"That just means, that he knew what he was doing. How far he could take it without her needing to go to the hospital."

Hanging her head, Juliet trailed after the gurney that carried her boyfriend.

I still want her

I still need him so

I don't know why we let each other go

Shawn jerked forward, sweat pouring from his forehead. Swiping a hand to rid his forehead of the disgusting wetness, he realized that his breathing was hitching. Though he can't remember much from when they had found Susie dead, he did remember Juliet explaining his minor breakdown, that involved him hyperventilating. Closing his eyes tightly, Shawn took a deep breath and let it out. After a few more deep breaths, Shawn realized that he was able to breath correctly on his own accord.

Peeling the sodden blanket from his sticky body, Shawn walked slowly to the bathroom. Turning the facet on cold, he splashed the water against his flushed cheeks and sighed as he instantly felt better. At least in that regard. Though, no matter how badly he didn't want to see either Susie or Juliet's disappointed faces, they were forever emblazoned in his retina's. He didn't even have to close his eyes anymore to see the two haunting faces.

Wobbling his way back to the bed, Shawn crawled back underneath the covers, and yanked them up to his shoulders. His body started to shake, as violent sobs ripped through his body. How could he have not seen something so obvious. Bruises or not, that look alone had spoken volumes, and Shawn had paid no attention. He deserved to feel like this, he had earned it and so much more!

Gus settled himself down on the couch. Much to his chagrin, Juliet had called him. After explaining about the new unsolved murder of the week, he had no choice but to feel sorry for her. Mariah Settle, a seven year old little girl, was found in a dumpster. Blunt force trauma to the head was the cause of death, and it hit a little too close to home. Juliet hadn't wanted to be alone tonight, and Gus didn't have the heart to turn her down.

So he laid back against the leather couch, and shut his eyes. As he slowly started to drift off, he heard an ear splitting scream, and jumped up off the couch. Running blindly through the apartment, Gus stubbed his toe against the wall. Cursing under his breath, Gus hopped the rest of the way to Juliet bedroom. Quickly throwing the door open, Gus snapped the light on and hopped over toward her bed.

"It's alright." His voice was soft, as his hand massaged his injured toe. "It'll be alright."

"Gus—what if he's done something-"

Gus's head snapped toward Juliet. "Shawn would never harm himself! That's not the kind of person he is."

Juliet shook her head. "Even you said that he sounded—odd on the phone. That he was still taking Susie's death hard."

Gus sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. He had hoped with all hope that tell her that would cause her to call him. For them to work this whole weird situation out. That she could get him to come home, so that together they could help him. Instead, she apparently had been having nightmares of Shawn committing suicide.

"Yes he is, we all are. Lassiter still has trouble in the field-"

Juliet huffed. "Carlton didn't run off!" She bit, and then sighed. "I'm sorry, Gus-"

The phone ringing cut her off quickly. A quizzical expression crossed both of their features, as Juliet reached for the phone. Her heart jumped into her throat upon seeing the caller id. Taking the call quickly, Juliet shoved the small device to her ear.

"Shawn?"

Gus let out a relived sigh, as he hobbled from her bedroom. Closing the door behind him, he smiled. Things would get better, eventually.

"Hi, Jules—I'm sorry-"

Juliet breathed a sigh of relief. "No, don't be sorry. God, Shawn—I miss you so much." Juliet heard the hitch in his breathing, and knew that he had been crying. Her heart broke for him.

"I miss you too, Jules. God, I miss you so much. I need you so bad, but I'm so afraid that I'll hurt you. I mean, it's not like I can come home. I can't take the looks-"

Juliet huffed. "What looks?"

"I know that everyone blames me for—her death."

Juliet shook her head. "No one blames you, Shawn. We just want you to come home."

A sigh resounded from Shawn's line. "You want me to come back to Santa Barbara? After how I hurt you?"

Juliet smiled sadly. "More than you know."

Shawn smiled sadly into the phone. "Well, perhaps that can be arranged."

Juliet held the phone securely to her ear, as she heard Shawn sound remotely like himself. Things would indeed get better, and from the sound of it, Shawn would come home—soonish.