Huge thanks to auntof3, red2013, Sirona, and Nadreth for the reviews.

Ryan, Esposito, and Beckett entered the interrogation room and got comfortable before Beckett handed over pictures and information about their two victims. Ryan flipped through them slowly, taking time to look over every single picture, before setting down the pictures that showed the back of their heads. "Gorgeous George is the one you're after. Everything about these hits points to him but I have no idea why Conor sent him after these two. I've never heard these names and they've never come in the bar. Do you have any info about relatives?"

Beckett flipped through the main file and read off names until Ryan snapped his fingers, "Jason, the brother of the husband, he's the reason they got their skulls smashed in. Jason owes Conor a lot of money, and by a lot I mean about two hundred grand last I heard. When he went to collect Jason was gone so he said he'd smoke him out somehow, that must have been his plan. Life has no meaning to Conor, he'll take down whoever he needs to to get what he wants. The baseball bat to the head is Gorgeous' M.O. and if he was there then so was Handsome Bob, they never handle hits alone."

"Why?" Esposito asked.

"Because they're both so stupid it takes both to accomplish even menial tasks. Only reason Conor even keeps them around is they're more loyal than any dog, they'd follow him off the side of a cliff. Hell I wish Handsome and Gorgeous would follow him off a cliff."

Castle suddenly entered pulling a chair behind him, "Thanks for calling guys and who goes around with Gorgeous and Handsome as nick names?"

Ryan shrugged, "Everyone has a nickname, some just happen naturally or some are given but everyone has one. When you're not sure whose listening to your conversations it's best to avoid proper names."

Esposito leaned forward, "You got one?"

Ryan nodded, "Quiet Ryan. Ed gave it to me when I was little, I didn't talk much for the first couple years after he picked me up."

Getting them back on topic Beckett pulled out a new file filled with pictures, everyone ever arrested that was attached to the Irish mob. She slid it over to him and one by one he pulled out pictures and divulged information, casting a few pictures aside as he went. Secrets tumbled from his mouth as he paced around the room sucking down cups of coffee that Castle kept refilling and munching on licorice that Esposito had brought. "I'd have to say the worst hit to witness was when Moxy bashed in this woman's head. Blood just everywhere, brains on the walls. I was the grunt so I had to clean up. It took hours. I actually had to bandage my hands afterwards because all the bleach ate the skin off my fingers."

Everyone grimaced at the horrible visual but sucked in shocked breaths when he added, "But that's not the worst thing I've seen."

He rubbed his eyes and released a groan, "I can't believe I'm talking about all this." He looked up and stared at his reflection in the two-way glass with dead eyes. "It didn't happen often, which is sort of surprising in a sense. It was Mickey who did it, I tried to stop it the first time but a few punches to the back of the head from his guys stopped me from ever trying again. You try to ignore it, act like you're not there but it's hard."

"What are you talking about Ryan? What did Mickey do?" Beckett asked.

Ryan cleared his throat and frowned heavily, "Mickey likes the girls."

Beckett leaned back in her chair and dropped her forehead into her hand as Castle and Esposito shook their heads in disgust. "You'd think they'd scream or fight but they don't, they just give in. It happened four times when I was there, who knows how many times when I wasn't. I should have tried harder to stop him but I couldn't take on three of them, at least not when everybody had a piece." He felt moisture collecting in his eyes and pushed it away. "I used to sing Let It Be in my head to try to drown out the noise."

The room descended into a horrible silence as Ryan relived past events and everyone else tried to digest what they had heard. Esposito remembered Ryan humming the song one day in the bar and realized it was the thing he did to comfort himself, only when things were truly wrong did he sing or hum it. Eventually Ryan scratched the back of his head and fiddled with a toothpick from his pocket before sticking it between his teeth and chewing gently on it. "That's it, that's all I know."

Beckett pointed to the pile of pictures on the side of the table, "What about them?"

Ryan picked up the pictures and flipped through them again, laying two down on the table. "These two are dead, bodies are somewhere in the river. Good luck finding them." After picking up the rest he flipped through them again before setting the small pile back down on the table. "As for these men they've been good to me, I'm not sentencing them to death. I don't care if you arrest them but I'm not testifying."

Everyone frowned but took it for what it was; they had to be happy with what they got.

Esposito glanced at Beckett before pulling out one final picture and sliding it over, "One more person we need to know about Kev."

He gently lifted the picture and stared at himself, a mug shot from his last arrest. A reminiscent smile appeared on his face as he looked at his twenty-three year old self. The room was quiet until his blue eyes peered over the top of the picture at the room's other occupants, "What will happen if I tell you?"

Beckett slid over a piece of paper, "All you have to do is sign this and it grants you total immunity. Everything you've ever done you won't be able to be punished for, to a certain extent it's a clean slate."

"What's the catch?" he asked wearily.

"In return for your full cooperation we're offering five years of parol and five hundred hours of community service instead of prison time," she replied.

Ryan took the pen from Beckett and was just about to sign when he hesitated over the paper. "Are you sure you want me to sign this? Everything I tell you, you won't be able to prosecute me for. I'm no angel."

Everyone stayed quiet as he stared at the paper warring with himself, it wasn't their place to convince or deter him. Minutes continued to tick by in a stalemate until Esposito finally sat up a little straighter and got his attention. "Sign the paper Kev, it's a good deal. You can redeem yourself with things other than rotting in prison."

He rubbed his eyes tiredly and just nodded before finally signing it and slowly sliding it towards Beckett. The room stayed quiet for several more minutes until Ryan grabbed the pen back and began fiddling with it. "I feel like I'm in church, about to confess my sins."

It was Castle who whispered, "Except we can't offer you absolution."

"No, no you can't," he sighed. "I don't really know where to start, uh… I guess we could start with arson. I've burned down four houses, blown up a few cars. Assault on too many to count. When the boss wanted somebody spooked he'd send me, people always underestimate the little guy."

"Would you torture people for things or just rough them up to send a message?"

Ryan shifted uncomfortably, "Both. I never had the stomach for torture but I still had to do it a few times; screwdrivers, pliers, hammers, ice water, all of it. You do what you have to, part of the job."

"Tell us about the drugs Ryan," Beckett said. "About your possession charge."

He grabbed another piece of licorice and took a bite, "Heroin is what we bring in and distribute. People talk to me, I get the info on what they want and take the money, somebody delivers the drugs. I got caught because Conor was being a prick and sent me on a delivery before he called the cops to report me. Pounds and pounds go through the back of the bar but none of us ever touch the stuff. Too rich for our blood, Conor would kill us if anybody so much as sniffed it plus it's not really my scene."

"Is that what the discussion between you and that man was the other day? The one that seemed petrified of you?"

Ryan nodded, "Picked up four grams then stiffed me. I had to pay for that shit out of my own pocket to save myself from Conor, last guy that shorted him lost a finger. I don't like paying for other people's addictions with money or body parts."

Castle leaned forward, "What about weapons, does the gang deal in weapons?"

"First off," he began. "Don't call us a gang because we're a lot bigger and more organized than a gang and no, no weapons. Conor buys all our pieces from the Russians, he has a lot stockpiled underneath the bar. They get delivered every other month on the third Tuesday exactly an hour after the sun goes down. Most of us used our own though, nobody wants to use something they're not familiar with."

Esposito bit the inside of his cheek at his use of 'us'. He didn't like to think of him as a part of the mob and he didn't like that Ryan still thought of himself as a part of the group that had almost killed him.

"What weapons do you own Ryan?" Beckett asked.

He eyed her carefully, "You're just going to take everything away from me aren't you?" At her nod he glanced at his boyfriend before meeting her eyes again. "I own a shotgun that you can have, Conor gave it to me."

Esposito pursed his lips but stayed silent, he knew for a fact Ryan had at least two shotguns and who knows what else in the cases currently sitting under his bed. Time slipped away as he recounted past events until Esposito asked the million-dollar question. "Have you ever killed anyone?"

Ryan opened his mouth but snapped it shut a before frowning heavily, "Do I really have to answer? It doesn't change anything."

"It's part of the immunity agreement, you give us everything you know and we don't prosecute you for it," Beckett replied.

Ryan licked his suddenly dry lips and rubbed his hands up and down his face before looking at Esposito, "I'm so sorry," he whispered.

Beckett looked at Esposito whose jaw was clenching and unclenching. "Ryan answer the question, have you ever murdered someone?"

"Yes."

It was a strong suspicion among all of them but the confession still sucked the air out of the room. Ryan had an innocence about him, an almost hopeful spark to his eyes that made you want to coddle him but it was deceiving. He was the proverbial wolf in sheep's clothing, a murderer that burned down houses and tortured people hidden underneath a lovable exterior with bright blue eyes and an easy smile.

"How many people have you murdered Ryan?" Becket asked professionally, all the while trying to watch Esposito out of the corner of her eye. She hadn't wanted him here at all but since she knew it would only lead to an argument she hadn't even asked him to not listen in. In a way he had a right to know everything but here wasn't the place to learn truths about someone you love.

His hands clenched around the edge of the table and he looked at his boyfriend one more time, careful to avoid eye contact. "Seven."

Ryan could only watch brokenly as Esposito rose from his chair and left the room, slamming the door behind him. This is what he had feared, he had even expected it but it still hurt worse than he could have imagined. The sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that had been present all day turned to a solid lump in an instant, a black hole of despair that was quickly sucking in every good thought and feeling leaving him empty, cold, and bitter.

Beckett stared at the paper Ryan had signed and felt nausea rise up, all of these people's families would never get justice. "I need you to go through each one." When he didn't respond she looked up and noticed he was staring at the door, his entire demeanor changing as he closed himself off before her very eyes. "Kevin..."

"Don't call me that," he snapped. So many emotions were swirling inside of him he didn't know how he felt or how to act. He was here because Esposito wanted him to be not because he had some big life changing epiphany, then he just leaves him here? The man that promised to make everything better, the man that he placed all his trust in just betrays him at the last second? He was just like everyone else... except he wasn't. Javier did make everything better and how could he have known his boyfriend was a murderer? The blame wasn't on Javier, it was on himself but that fact didn't make this situation any better. Trying to get a hold of himself he began to speak and answer Beckett's question.

"The first one was when I was fifteen. Darby O'Donal was his name," he began in a detached tone. "It was my first hit, Ed thought I was ready to start going out on my own. I caught him coming home from work one day and popped one into his head and one in the chest. After he dropped I grabbed his ankles and drug him best I could to the side and waited for someone to come get him, he was a big guy."

"Your first hit was when you were fifteen?" Castle asked in disbelief.

Ryan nodded, "I was ready, I'd been around it enough to know what to do. I was left wildly unprepared for what it would do to my psych but you learn to get over it after a couple kills. It'll eat you up if you let it, but you just take a step back and try to stay detached." As he continued going through every single murder he committed, every single gory detail Castle began to see a pattern. When he recounted the last one Castle leaned forward, "You killed hit men, everyone of them. Did any of the people you killed ever not murder someone, were any innocent?"

Ryan shook his head, "None were innocent. Other then my first two kills Ed became suspicious that information was leaking out to another crew and had me find out who it was."

"Under the guise of a bartender," Castle said with a smile.

"Yes but that really was my job, I just now had a different reason for doing it. When I'd find out who was talking I'd take them out back, pop one into the forehead and Two-Step would take them away. Fast, clean and easy. If I was alone I'd get them drunk enough then strangle them, drag them to the alley and one of the boss's guys would get rid of him. I had to chase down a few, one got messy in an alley when I had to shoot him a few times because the bastard kept trying to run from me. Turned out there were quite a few guys who had been talking and trying to break away from the family in retaliation. Idiots."

"You didn't give us a name for Two-Step," Beckett observed.

"No I didn't," he said defiantly. "You don't work that close with someone for seventeen years and give 'em up. You don't get him so don't ask."

Beckett leaned back in her chair and sighed heavily. "Do you have anything else to say before we finish this?"

Ryan nodded and glanced one more time at the door Esposito had stormed through, "I know it doesn't make a difference but I feel bad about everything that happened. I'm not some psychopath, I feel remorse. I never wanted to off anybody but when the boss says jump you ask how high." Done he lowered his gaze to the floor.

The sound of chairs scraping across the floor met his ears but he didn't look up from his shoes when the door opened and closed. He didn't even want to leave this room and have to face the outside world, have to face Javier. He knew he was disappointed, disgusted, and betrayed and it was all because of him. The minutes ticked by until the door opened again and he looked up only to shove his chair away and step back in fear and anger. "What the fuck are you doing here?"