Here's the next installment. You can put the tissues away from last chapter - no crying this time. Enjoy!
The next day, Deeks handed Hetty his proposal for a new liaison arrangement, the one he had told Kensi about. By lunch time, both she and Lt. Bates had approved it. Hetty did not like the new arrangement – after all Marty Deeks was one of her hand-picked chosen ones - but she understood his reasoning for doing so. All sunshine and no rain make a desert, and when gunpowder gets heated up past a certain point it becomes explosive. Much to her (and Kensi's) dismay, Deeks had packed up his desk and headed to the police station by 2 pm. There was no big party, no farewell speeches, just a quiet walk out the door the way Deeks wanted it. For the time being, Hetty kept Kensi working cases with the B team. Callen and Sam had not been cleared for field work yet, although both men were making progress according to Nate.
"Mr. Getz, what is so important that you needed me to come up to your office?" Hetty inquired.
"You are, Hetty," Nate nervously responded. "I have been meeting with everyone on your team as you requested. There is one person, though, who I haven't had any sessions with. I would like you to talk with me, Hetty."
"Me? Dear Mr. Getz, I can assure you that everything is fine. I called you back to OSP for them, not to waste time on me," she confidently stated.
"Speaking with you is never a waste of time. You are part of this team, as much as Callen or Kensi or any of them. In light of what happened with that case, I think it would be valuable for you to have someone you can open up to and unload. Anything and everything you say will be kept confidential, Hetty," Nate explained to her.
Hetty sighed. She knew bringing Nate back had been the right call. She still didn't think she needed to talk to anyone, but to humor Nate, she agreed. After trying to deflect the conversation to how she thought Sam and Deeks were handling things, Nate finally got her to talk about her own feelings and experience. Hetty hinted at feelings of helplessness, both at the time of the capture and torture of her agents, and after they had been rescued. She didn't know what to do for her team, and had a hard time relating to what they had gone through. In all her years with various federal agencies, she had never been in the exact situation those men had found themselves in. Nate reassured her that she had done the right thing by calling him. He told her that being helpful doesn't always mean stepping in and doing something yourself. Sometimes it means recognizing that the situation is beyond yourself, and bringing someone else in to do the actual work.
"Mr. Getz, I know you can't tell me what anyone else has said to you, but I have to know… do they – do they all blame me?" Hetty timidly asked the man in front of her. For the first time in his life, he saw a look in Hetty's eyes, in her whole face, that he had never seen before. It was a look of vulnerability.
"Blame you? What would they blame you for, Hetty?" Nate wasn't sure what she was alluding to.
"For this entire mess! It was my call, I had the final say about the entire mission. I gave the go-ahead for everything – from bringing in Janvier to involving the CIA and Mrs. Hanna to splitting up partnerships that should have been left well enough alone," Hetty angrily spoke out. "I could have stopped this all from turning out so badly. I let my team down."
Nate took his time before responding. Here before him was a different woman than he had ever known Henrietta Lange to be. She was a weary woman, she was a burdened woman, and she was a hurting woman.
"Hetty, you are not to blame for any of this. Nothing that happened is your fault. I hope you understand that," Nate told her. "You made the best decisions you could after listening to your team members and weighing the pro's and con's of the situation. You cannot control what anyone else does or doesn't do, especially those who do not play on the same team that we do."
"There must have been something more I could have done. They trust me, or at least they did, to always have their best interests in mind. Granger be damned, my people are not expendable for the sake of the mission." She paused and tried to regain her composure. When she didn't speak again after a few moments, Nate looked up at her.
"There's something else, isn't there Hetty? Something you haven't shared with me yet?" he inquired, encouraging her to continue.
After sitting in silence staring at Nate until he almost broke out in a sweat, Hetty confessed to writing a new resignation letter. She wondered if she was getting too old to do this job anymore – it was getting harder and harder to watch what happened to her agents, her family. Nate smiled and told her that it should never be easy to watch someone you care about get harmed in any way. If it still hurt to witness those things, then she was doing her job right and still remaining human. Cautiously, he tried to explain that her age was an asset and something the rest of the office, if not the whole of NCIS, admired her for. It was a testament to all the years she had spent doing the job and surviving, becoming a stronger woman every year. She had served as an inspiration for countless agents and employees, and she was the glue that held everything and everyone together.
Nate asked Hetty if she had sent the resignation letter to the director yet. She revealed that she had tried, twice, but each time she had been interrupted by an agent needing her. He asked if she was still planning on submitting it. Hetty shook her head and replied that she honestly didn't know. Nate mentioned the fact that she hadn't been able to simply click on the "send" button, an action which takes mere seconds, should tell her something. Hetty thought about everything Nate told her and nodded in agreement and understanding.
"Thank you, Mr. Getz. Perhaps I should come upstairs more often. You are a very wise man," she said as she stood up from her chair.
"I've learned from the best," Nate replied, smiling at his boss.
Kensi returned to the mission from a case with the B team and furiously sat at her desk. Callen and Sam looked up briefly and then back down at their paperwork. No one said anything. She fidgeted at her desk, sighed loudly a few times, and even accidentally dropped a book on the floor. After getting no reaction from the guys, she stood up and walked to the aisle between their desks.
"What the hell is wrong with the two of you?!" she yelled at them. A few agents across the mission looked over her way, but she didn't care. Nell and Eric ran out of Ops to the railing to see what the commotion was, but upon seeing Kensi ranting in the bullpen they slowly made their way back inside the safety of their technology.
"This is it! I've had it! You two better start talking and make up because I can't stand this anymore!" The two men looked at her, their eyes wide in amazement. She carried on.
"I want my team back – our team. Sandra and Rich and Seth are great agents, but they're not… they're not us. I feel like I'm a rookie again with them, having to learn their facial expressions and gestures to make sure I can trust them so my ass doesn't get blown up. I hate this," she gestured from Sam to Callen to herself. "I get that we've all been through some really, really tough shit, but we are a team and we stick together no matter what. We don't fall apart when things go wrong – we are supposed to cling to each other. Why is it that I- the youngest member of this team – am the only one acting like an adult here? I need you two to act like the freaking senior agents you are supposed to be. Be men and do whatever it is that you need to do to work things out. Man hug, fist bump, high-five, whatever, JUST DO IT ALREADY!"
She gave them each the patented Kensi Blye death glare as she stood there catching her breath. She was panting from yelling so hard at her teammates, but she wasn't finished yet. "And don't you even dare start thinking that I'm pissed because Deeks is gone or because it's that time of the month or whatever other lame excuse you can come up with. I'm being real here – you guys suck!" She finished by heading over to Deeks' empty desk and rifling through drawers until she found the prize she was after.
"AHA!" She held up one of the Twinkies that she knew he left for her and marched back to her desk.
After the initial shock wore off, Callen started clapping. Sam looked at Callen, slightly confused, and then joined in the applause.
"Wow. I didn't know you had it in you Kensi. Now tell us how you really feel," Callen said.
"I'm pretty sure she just did," Sam said dryly. "But if that was her sugar-coating things, I don't want to know what she really thinks."
Kensi glared at them again.
Callen spoke slowly, not making eye contact with anyone. "Alright, I guess I will go first. I… I'm sorry. I know you deserve more than that, and hopefully one of these days I can elaborate, but right now that's all I have in me. I shouldn't have been shutting you out; I just don't know how to deal with all this crap. I am sorry, and… and I miss our team, too."
Kensi turned her head sideways to look directly at her team leader. "Thank you Callen. I know it's not easy, for any of us, but thank you."
Sam took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He looked directly at Callen. "Hey man, I'm sorry too. I've been acting like a jerk. I know I have, and I didn't mean to. You're my partner, and I should have been honest with you from the start." He turned and looked at Kensi. "Thank you for calling us out, Kensi. You were a little, uh, scary, just now, but I know you did it because you care."
"Nuh-uh Sam. You can be scary; THAT was terrifying," Callen interjected. "But yeah, thanks Kensi, for freaking us out enough to open our mouths."
"I'm scary? You really think so G?" Sam asked.
"No, not really. We all know you're just a big teddy bear Sam," Callen joked.
"Yeah, a big mean teddy bear who can take you down before you even blink," Sam retorted.
Kensi smiled. It was good to hear them bantering back and forth again. "Thanks Sam, Callen. I do care, a lot actually. This team, you guys, we are a family and we take care of each other. We don't go in our own rooms and slam the doors shut. That's not how we operate around here."
"Sam, she's right. Maybe it is time we do that hugging-bumping-fiving thing," Callen said to his partner.
"Listen G," Sam started. "I've missed you, too, but I think I deserve dinner out first before I engage in any physical relationship with you." He tried hard to hide the smile forcing its way out.
Kensi looked at them, and thought for the first time in several weeks that it was really going to be ok.
"Do you feel better now, Ms. Blye?" Hetty asked her female agent, walking out from behind the metal screen that served as an office separator.
"Yes actually, much better," she replied, a blush of embarrassment creeping up her neck and cheeks.
"As do I."
Two weeks later, Sam and Callen were approved for field work. Ever since Kensi's outburst at work, the three of them had started talking to each other more. That led to each of them being more open with Nate, who finally felt that they were on the way to healing better than before. He was confident that both men were ready to be in the field again.
Now that her elite team was ready to go back out and do what they were trained to do, Hetty had the difficult duty of assigning a new partner for Kensi – however temporary it may be, she could not go out on cases without a partner for back up. After reviewing several files, Hetty settled on a female agent. The genders would be balanced on the team, not leaving Kensi as the lone female agent. Hetty also did not want to make Kensi deal with a new male partner at this time, with everything she was dealing with emotionally from her last male partner.
"Ms. Blye, my office please," Hetty called out from her desk.
Kensi walked over to Hetty's office area, her back stiff and straight as if she were being called to the principal's office. "What's up, Hetty?"
"This is Agent Jennifer Lowry. She is your new partner while Detective Deeks is working at LAPD," Hetty explained. Sitting in one of the chairs facing Hetty's desk was a woman who wore a wide grin and a bit too much perfume. "She has just transferred to OSP from the Rota, Spain, office. I hope you will make her feel welcome." Although not worded that way, Kensi knew Hetty's statement was actually an order.
Kensi forced a smile on her face and extended her hand to the new woman. "Hi. I'm Kensi. Welcome." She looked over the newbie as Agent Lowry stood up to shake her hand. She was blond, of medium height, looked to have a very athletic build, and couldn't stop smiling.
"HI!" she practically shouted as she pumped Kensi's hand eagerly. "I'm Agent Lowry but you can call me Jenny. Wow! It's like so cool to meet you Agent Blye. You are like a total legend among the female agents. I am so excited to like work with you." The woman wouldn't stop smiling. She also couldn't stand still – how much coffee did she consume before reporting this morning? Kensi made a mental note to increase her own personal consumption each day before coming in just to keep up. This was going to be an interesting addition to the team.
"Ms. Blye, you can take Ms. Lowry around the mission for a tour after lunch and show her around. She has already been introduced to Mr. Callen and Mr. Hanna. Right now you are free to return to your work. Ms. Lowry has some more paperwork and orientation to complete with me. Thank you," Hetty concluded. Kensi made her way back to the bullpen, where both Callen and Sam were smirking.
"So, how's the new partner?" Callen asked her, his blue eyes already shimmering with amusement.
"Yeah, is she, like, everything you ever wanted in a partner? Like totally?" Sam mocked. He couldn't hide his dimples if he tried.
Kensi rolled her eyes. "Very funny guys. Keep it up. But seriously… why do I have to get partnered with Agent Barbie over there? What am I supposed to do with her?" Kensi sat down at her desk and pulled out her cell phone.
"You are going to owe me for this big time Deeks." She hit "send."
"I'm not there. How can I owe you already Fern?"
"Wait til you hear about my new 'partner'…" she texted back.
"Eric beat you to it. Just sent me a pic."
"Shoot me now."
" :-) "
Would love to hear what you thought of this chapter... pretty please? Here's some hints for the next chapter: a girls' night, and a talk between two men that needs to happen...