A/N: Sorry for the wait. I am really torn on how I want the story to progress from here, which is why this became a difficult chapter to write. I had originally planned for it only to be around twenty chapters and we get the happily-ever after...but I am kind digging the darkness and exploring that...But I'm kinda at a stand still, now...review it and let me know what you think. I want to know what you think, darkness and then into the light, or do we go for the "Scooby-Doo" ending cause they've been through enough already. I hate not having a clear direction. Anyway, let me know what you think. Thanks -JET.

Chapter Twenty-One - Recall

Olivia woke up tangled with Alex. They were both naked. She noticed the bruises and bite marks that marred Alex's perfect porcelain skin. She was disgusted with herself. She tried to move away from Alex, but Alex woke up and pulled her closer.

"Be still," Alex told her.

"Alex…"

"Liv, I swear if you get out of this bed, right now, I'll be very angry with you. The only reasons you should be getting up are either Xander needs you or you need to pee. I haven't heard Xander, so unless you have to pee, I suggest you lay back and relax."

"Alex…"

"What?" she snapped back in question.

"I marked you…"

"So?"

"I hurt you."

"Did I tell you that you hurt me?"

"Well, no, but you're bruised…"

"Damn it, Olivia. You didn't hurt me. We were rough. It was bound to happen. Don't worry about it. They will go away," Alex told her.

"But, you're neck?"

"It's called concealer. I can cover them up. Calm down," Alex stated.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing about it. You weren't alone in last night. I am just as responsible for what happened. We both wanted it. Stop blaming yourself. You got me. This is supposed to be a relaxing weekend," Alex explained.

"I know. I'm sor… I'll try to do better. I should go check on Xander."

"I'll come with you. Get dressed though. You are too good to resist, especially unwrapped and disheveled already," Alex teased.

Olivia smiled and reached for some boxers and a tank. She watched Alex get out of the bed, wrapped in the sheet. She continued to watch Alex as she dressed across the room. When she was dressed she came back to where Olivia was and held out her hand.

"Shall we go check on our son?"

Olivia smiled. Her heart was leaping. She couldn't have been happier with the way that Alex took to Xander as if he was really her own son. He did favor them both. Olivia actually began to think about them as a family when they got home.

Home. It was no longer an afterthought in Olivia's mind. She began to want the life that she had so desperately being trying to have, but fighting because of her need to be a detective. Alex was quickly becoming something that Olivia knew she needed to keep. She was finding her home.

Alex watched her while they were in the nursery. Something had changed inside Olivia. She could see it on her face. She could see it in the way she held Xander. She could feel it in the way that she held Alex's hands. Olivia was changing. She was…Alex couldn't put a name to it.

"Alex?"

"Yeah, Liv? What's wrong? Is he okay? Do I need to call a doctor?"

"No, he's fine. I need to tell you something. I need to get it out."

"Okay, should I sit down?"

"If you would like."

Alex sat in the rocking chair by the crib, watching Olivia. Olivia picked Xander up and handed him to Alex. Alex looked at her, worriedly, but took Xander and cradled him to her bosom as she rocked.

"Alex, I love you."

"I love you, too, Olivia."

"No, Alex, you don't get it. I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you."

"I love the way that you are with Xander. I was so worried how you would take to him. I know it isn't fair of me to ask you to help me with him. I know that it isn't fair for me to ask you to give me the chance that I was too cowardly to take before. But, Alexandra, will you allow me to prove worthy of your love?"

Alex stopped rocking. The usual poise that she had was gone. She wasn't prepared for Liv's declaration. Her mouth didn't exactly drop open, but it wasn't closed either.

"Alex?"

"Yes, yes. I love you. You don't have to prove yourself to me. Olivia, we will make this work. We both know we need time. We'll make it work. I want you to stop blaming yourself for the past. We can't get that time back, but we have now. Let's stop worrying about what might have been and worry about what we can have, now, together," Alex replied.

"Please," Olivia stated.

Xander started crying bringing them both back to him. Alex rocked him more and cooed, calming him back down. He smiled up at Alex and Alex smiled back down at him.

"You are so good with him," Liv stated.

"He is a good baby. He is easy to love. He reminds me of you, a lot."

"How so?"

"He is curious. He is always looking around, but he smiles as soon as he sees us. He knows we are the ones that are going to be caring for him. He knows that we are going to protect him. He looks at me the same way that you do, most of the time. I like that he looks at me like you do," Alex told her, "Olivia, do you want to hold him?"

"I afraid I'll break him. He is so small, still. I…he looks so much like Frankie."

"I'm sure he does. Olivia, tell me more about her. Tell me more about what happened."

"I don't want to ruin him with those stories. They are too evil, too…messy. I don't him to have to deal with what I had to deal with. I don't want him to worry about his parentage like I did."

"We will give him so much love that he won't have to question himself. Olivia, we can tell him who his parents were if he asks. He will let us know when he ready. But, I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened," Alex stated.

"Alex…"

"If you won't tell me, Olivia, maybe Julie will," Alex pushed.

Olivia stared at her. Her eyes darkened and she fell in front of Alex holding Xander. Alex noted the change in her but didn't say anything that would betray her knowledge.

"Tell me. I can't help you if you won't tell me. Just tell me," Alex said, as she stood never once breaking eye contact with Olivia. She put Xander back into the crib and took Liv by the hand, escorting her to the kitchen. She sat Liv on a stool at the counter and went to the cupboard. Alex grabbed two glasses and a bottle of wine from the refrigerator. She joined Olivia on the next stool. She poured two glasses and handed one of the glasses to Liv.

Liv took the glass but didn't drink. She watched Alex as she slowly sipped at the wine. Alex watched Liv watching her, but didn't say anything for a few minutes. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore and Alex decided to break their silence.

"Liv, talk to me. Tell me what happened. I want to help you."

"I don't know what to tell you. I don't want to talk about it. It isn't something anyone needs to hear. Can't we just let it go?"

"You can either tell me or you can me and Huang when we get back. But, unfortunately, no, we can't forget it. You still have to finish debriefing. You are going to have to tell us what happened. You are going to have to let it out before they let you go back to New York. Liv, you just need to get it out. You can't heal until you let it out. I know that first hand," Alex told her.

"There are some things that you can't heal, Alex."

"Like what? A broken heart? Time doesn't always make it better, but it does give us a scar, something that covers the wound and reminds us what happened. Do we forget? Most of the time, no, because our wounds and scars make us who we are. You are you and your wounds define you. Hiding behind them isn't going to make them go away. It is just going to make them fester and blow up later. If you let it out now, it won't be as bad later," Alex stated.

"I don't know how…"

"Yes, you do. Just let it out. Tell me what happened."

"I can't…"

"Then let Julie do it."

Olivia looked at her, worried. Her eyes darkened to black, again. Alex watched the change and knew that Julie was there now and not Olivia. She knew that would have to convince them that they were one, but right now, she needed Julie to tell what happened in Atlanta.

"What if I don't what to tell you either?"

"Julie?"

"Yes?"

"Why don't you want to tell me? What happened that was so bad that you don't want to tell me? I already know that Frankie died. I already know that you were with Frankie. What else could there be?"

"I was with Frankie. She was pregnant. She died under my watch."

"Olivia, Julie, whoever, Frankie died because of complications from birth. There was no way that anyone could have known that was how she was going to die. There was no way anyone could have predicted that. You aren't responsible for that. You had no way of knowing. Frankie died. It wasn't because you weren't there for her. You were. You fought for her. You fought for Xander. You fought for yourself. I need you to remember that. You did everything that you could for everyone involved," Alex stated.

"It wasn't enough."

"It was enough. YOU survived. Xander survived. Frankie knew that. She knew that you were going to take care of him. She knew that he was going to be okay."

"But, I don't know that. How could I know that? How does anyone know that?"

"Because of the way that you look at Xander. I don't think any mother knows that their children will be okay. They hope they will. They can only do what they can and hope for the best. Everyone has to make their own decisions. Frankie made hers and you made yours."

"But, it wasn't good enough."

"Are you not okay?"

"I am fine," Julie/Olivia answered.

"Is Xander not okay?"

"He's fine."

"Then everything worked out. Tell me what happened in the warehouse. Tell what happened before Olivia woke up and knew that Frankie was in trouble. Tell me what happened."

"Why would you want to know about that?"

"Because…you need to tell someone. I've seen the same things that you have while working at SVU. We've fought the same fight for years, together. Let me help you with this one."

"Alex, you don't know what you are asking."

"Nothing less than I would ask any victim. Tell me what happened. I can take it," Alex said.

Olivia reached out and took the glass of wine from Alex. She downed Alex's glass and then her own. She grabbed Alex's hands and held them in her lap.

"Alex, you don't know what you are asking," Liv/Julie told her.

"Don't I?"

"You don't know what it was like in the gang," Liv said.

"Then tell me. Let me in, Liv. Tell me what happened."

"It was Hell. The initiation was just a drive. That was the easy part. Dealing with the psychotic Robin was pure Hell. She had no conscience. She did whatever she wanted whenever she wanted however she wanted."

"Is that what you want?"

"No, I never want to be like her. She was unruly. There was no point to anything that she did except money, sex and to make her self happy. Don't get wrong, money and sex are good things, but I am not willing to do anything to get it. I want to earn it. I want to deserve it. She didn't. She took it and didn't care who she hurt in the process."

"Is that what happened with Frankie?"

"Yes, Robin decided that she wanted Frankie back. Frankie was pregnant and wouldn't leave me. She knew that Robin was no good for her or the baby. Robin didn't care. She pursued Frankie. It drove Frankie crazy. I finally had to say something to her. It didn't do much good. She amped up her pursuit. When she wouldn't stop on her own, I went to D. J. I hoped that he would be able to do something about it," Liv told her.

"Did he?"

"He sent her to Savannah to pick up product. It was a ride I was supposed to be in charge of, but he sent her instead. She knew that he was getting her out of town. She wasn't happy about it. He made sure that Robin was away for a while. It was enough to piss her off royally."

"What did she do when she got back?" Alex asked her.

"She came over to our apartment. She was overcome with rage. It was something that I had never seen, never experienced. The rage was consuming. She went after Frankie. I stopped her. I grabbed her by the arm and slammed my palm into her nose. It broke, not surprisingly. She bled all over my clean kitchen floor. I picked her up by her pants and her collar and threw, literally, out the front door. I shut and locked it. I went to the bed room and got the Glock that I had hidden. It freaked Frankie out. I sat down at the kitchen table, watching our front door. I told her to call D. J. and tell him what happened. She hesitated, but she did what I asked."

"What did D. J. do?"

"Whatever he could do. She threatened him. She threatened me. He wouldn't allow it. His male bikers had to step in and deal with Robin. He threatened to turn her in, to end her gang and move away if she didn't stop. She finally did, but I knew that she was planning something against me. How could she not?"

"What did she do?"

"She waited. She plotted. She won."

"How long?"

"Six months. She waited six months. Plotting and waiting. She waited until we went to Tennessee. She waited until I had enough to bring it all down. She didn't know that of course, but I had already given everything to Fee Bees. Both of our plans were in motion."

"What went wrong on your end?"

"She found the path that I was taking to get Frankie out. We'd already made arrangements for her to get out. I knew that I could get her to flip on them all, but I had to get her to safety first. That is why we were in Tennessee. I was setting up a safe house for her and the baby. I knew that she would be okay. I had to get us back for the raid though. We had to be arrested to make it look legit. I was prepared for Robin to meet us at the bar on her own. D. J. wasn't there. He was at one of the warehouses, counting his money and his product."

"What happened?"

"I am not sure. I remember going into the bar to find D. J. Then, I remember waking up in the warehouse. Robin was standing over Frankie. She was screaming at her. She was yelling at her to leave me and come back to her. Frankie wouldn't back down. She knew that she couldn't."

Olivia stopped. The tears were there and ready to fall. Alex could tell that Julie and Olivia were merging. The emotion was coming through and Julie was blending.

"I was tied up and away from them. Robin threatened my life I'm sure. Frankie was crying but I couldn't tell where she was in relation to me. Robin came in with a knife. She put it in my face and threatened me. I told her to do it. That I wouldn't leave Frankie, because I knew that Robin would kill the child when she found out that couldn't have Frankie all to her self. I wasn't going to let Robin. Robin hit me. She punched me in the stomach, in the face, everywhere. She took her vengeance out on my body, but she wasn't going to break me. I wasn't going to let her"

"What about Frankie?"

"When I couldn't stand anymore, or I didn't cry out in pain because I passed out. She would turn back to Frankie. Yelling and screaming, but to no avail. Frankie wouldn't be persuaded. I knew that if Frankie could hold on, so could I. I had to for her and the baby."

"How long?"

"I don't know. It seemed like days. I'm told that I was missing for two weeks, but I remember when we left for Tennessee. I was out of range for a while. Russell had lost track of me on purpose. I thought he was getting too close to me, again. I thought he was going to blow my cover. I had to push him away in order to protect the mission."

"How do you know you were out of range?"

"I found a way to turn the beacon off in my boots. I would make sure that a handler or a spotter saw me in them, that were on and then I would turn it off. They would freak out, but think that I was out of range. I figure out that the range on the GPS marker was global but it wouldn't ping their readers unless they were within three miles. I can move very quickly when I have to and three miles can take a while to search."

"But, they said they'd lost contact for two weeks."

"They did. I hadn't been in full contact. But, I would allow the GPS to ping my location every now and again. It was a way to let them know that I was still alive."

"But, then how long were you in the warehouse?"

"I would say around two to three days. I can't say for sure. I black out so many times; I am surprised that I don't have more permanent brain damage. All I do remember was being strung up by handcuffs and hung from a chain. I managed to get my boot censor back on by smashing my heel into the concrete floor. It set off the panic mode."

"Why did you do that?" Alex asked.

"D. J. showed up. He looked pissed. The raids had begun. The warehouses were being searched. He was trying to find Robin and get the Hell out of town. He hadn't known what she was doing or where she was. He told her to leave us. That the feds would find us and it would be over. Robin wanted to put a bullet in us. He took her gun. She grabbed a bat and went after Frankie. She blamed Frankie for the feds, accusing her of turning on them because of the baby."

"What did you do?"

"I begged. I pleaded. I told Robin to take her rage out on me. Frankie wasn't to blame and I couldn't let her hurt the baby. I had to save the baby, Alex. I couldn't let anything happen to him. I just couldn't," Olivia said, finally sobbing.

"I know, Liv. I know. But, what happened? Did Robin beat on you?"

"Yeah, she tried at first. She got a few good swings in. One of them must have dislocated my shoulder and I drooped to that side. The pain was awful. D. J. pointed his gun at her head and told her to stop or die there. She was a liability to him and he knew it. She had to think fast. She took the bat up and sung some more at me. I don't think that she thought he'd actually do it."

"Do it? Did he shoot her? He shot his own sister?" Alex questioned.

"Hell, I'd've emptied a clip into her. He did. He shot her in the arm. It didn't deter her. She kept thrashing on me with the bat. The blows were softer now, because of her wounds but she nonetheless wasn't going to stop. He shot her, again. This time she moved towards him. She dropped the bat. She actually went after him. Another shot rang out and I heard her scream, then I passed out. The rest you know already."

"Did Robin die in the warehouse?" Alex asked.

"I wish."

"They didn't find her?"

"No, they didn't. And, that scares me. I'm afraid of what she'll do to us, if she finds us."

"She won't find us, Olivia. We're at the Cape. Besides, who would think to look here for you?"

"You'd be surprised out how far her reach can be. Nothing will surprise me with her. Nothing except her death. That is the only thing that I pray for now. Because I know that when she is dead, she won't be able to hurt us anymore."

"Olivia…she'll pay her dues. Abbie is going to make sure of that. She'll be locked away for life. Abbie is preparing the charges now. The FBI has a lead on them both. They'll have them in custody soon. Robin and D. J. are going down. You have nothing to fear."

"But, the monster in my head…"

"What?" Alex questioned.

"I have plenty to fear. I won't be calm. I won't be able to rest until I know that Robin has been caught. Her talons are long and reach almost everywhere. I think that we should go back. I think that you need to go to New York. I can't go with you. I want you to take Xander, too. No one would think to look for him there. Hell, Robin doesn't even know he lives. It's perfect."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Excuse me?!" Olivia stated, taken aback by Alex's language.

"You will not do this. I will not let you. I am not going to let Robin win. If you run and hide, she wins. I am not leaving you, Liv. I am not letting you fight this on your own. If we have to run, we will run together. If we need around the clock guards, I will hire the best and allow the FBI or Marshalls to provide them. But, under no fucking circumstances, am I going to allow you to leave me or Xander out of some crazy-ass sense of duty, do you understand me?"

"Yes, councilor, I do."

"Good."

"You know what Alex?"

"What?!" she snapped.

"You are incredibly fucking hot when you're angry," Liv stated, as Alex noted the darkening of her eyes again.