Steve slept quietly for a short time and woke to find Danny at his side, his attention turned to the television. He saw Kono and Chin curled up under blankets and sleeping on the nearby cots. He spoke softly, "Hey what are you watching?"
"Oh hey there, um Rocky 4. Not much to choose from at this time of night"
"I guess not"
Danny chuckled and turned down the volume, "You didn't sleep long"
"I've hardly slept in days buddy"
"Well I hate to tell you this, but you look like it"
"Damn it Danno…..this is hard man, it's so fucking hard. This is a nasty drug"
"You can beat this, you're strong enough…...and you're not alone. I promise you you're not alone"
"It's going to get bad Danno. This isn't your problem buddy"
"You're so wrong Steve. You're my partner but more importantly…..you're the best friend I've ever had. Your problems are my problems and I'll be by your side the entire time, I promise you that"
"You may change your mind. If you choose to walk away, I won't blame you"
"You know what, you're starting to make me mad. Don't you get it McGarrett? I love you partner and I'm here for you"
"Your voice mail Danny…."
Danny interrupted him, "Steve please...listen to me and listen good. All I'm going to say right now is that I was angry, very angry when I left that message and I'm so sorry I left it. I DO wish you had listened to the message I left after it. But for now Steven, it doesn't matter. Nothing matters except healing you…NOTHING! We will need to talk when you're doing better, but now is not the time okay?"
Steve voice shook, "I'm sorry Danno, for everything"
"I want you to promise me something"
"What?"
"That's the last time I want to hear those words from you until we have our talk. You have NOTHING to do with the condition you are in and you have nothing to be sorry about"
"I promise…I love you too man…I'm really tired D"
"Close your eyes then and I'll go back to Rocky vs. Drago"
"Horrible movie…..they killed Apollo Creed!"
Danny grinned, "Some things should never be allowed to happen. Go to sleep now"
Steve closed his eyes and soon he was snoring softly as Danny leaned back in the chair and he too fell asleep.
5050505050505050505050505050
Danny woke less than an hour later to his partner's restless movements on the bed next to him.
He stood and wringing out a wet cloth from the table next to him and gently dabbed at Steve's sweat drenched face and neck. Several minutes passed before Steve's eyes opened. They looked glazed over and he appeared to be confused as Danny spoke to him calmly, "Hey buddy, you okay?"
Steve blinked several times before saying, "Uhhhh yeah…I'm thirsty"
"No problem"
After helping Steve take a few sips of water he asked, "You seem a little confused Steve, can you tell me where you are?"
"I'm in the damn hospital"
Danny grinned, "Yes you are. Do you know why?"
Steve closed his eyes for a moment before responding softly, "Matt…...Danny, how's Matt?"
"I'll call him in a bit, but when I saw him yesterday he was doing well. He came through the surgery fine. You know, I haven't even thanked you yet. You saved his life partner…thank you"
Steve said groggily, "No problem. Your family is my family Danno. I'm really tired partner"
Danny again brought the cloth to Steve's face, "I'm right here babe. You sleep now…..sssshhhhhh, I'm right here"
The SEAL again drifted off as Danny continued to tend to him.
About an hour later Kono woke and took over for Danny so he could lay down.
Steve woke a short time later and after taking a few more sips of water, Kono took his hand in hers rubbing it tenderly.
"Kono…..I know I've disappointed you. I feel so weak"
"Oh God boss, if I've made you feel that way I'm sorry. You are not weak in any way. You're the strongest man I've ever known. I'm just worried about you because I care and I love you"
Tears welled in his eyes as he struggled to maintain his composure, "I'm so lucky to have the three of you"
"We're lucky to have you Steve" Suddenly a wave of pain hit and he cried out. Kono tightened her grip on his hand, "Squeeze hard boss, it'll pass" His eyes closed and tears slid down his cheek. Kono reached up with her free hand and wiped them away, "Relax Steve….relax"
The pain was intense and he instinctively pulled his knees up. The commotion woke Danny and Chin and in moments they were both back at his side working to calm him. His breathing was fast and the heart monitor next to the bed showed his heart has beating dangerously fast. Danny placed one hand on Steve's chest and his other on his forehead. He leaned close to Steve's ear, "Hey partner, you need to relax for me now"
"DANNY, OH SHHHITT…..iit hhurts man"
"I know babe, slow down your breathing….come on now, nice and slow….in….out…breathe slow babe…."
Nurse Bonnie entered the room and as Danny continued talking to Steve, Chin and Kono moved out of the way for her. Steve was responding to Danny and his heart rate was slowing, but it was still beating way too fast.
"You're doing great Steve, relax….relax…"
Bonnie asked, "Have you gotten him to agree to take the codeine tablet?"
Danny shook his head, "Hey buddy, I need you to trust me okay?"
"Yyeah….wwhat?"
"Steve, I need you to take the codeine"
"NNNOO! DDaanno…..pplease nno!"
"Listen partner, your heart rate is way too high. We've got to get it down. Trust me, we have to do this"
Steve had grabbed his forearm with his bandaged right hand and Danny felt the shakiness in his grip. The fear of the drug was obvious in his voice as he answered softly, "Okay…ookayy"
Kono slid next to Danny and handed him the pill. Bonnie lifted his head from the pillow and Danny placed the pill in his mouth. Kono brought the straw to his mouth and he took several sips of water and then Bonnie set his head gently back onto the pillow.
"That's good Steve, now close your eyes and relax, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere"
"Danny…it's nno ggood…."
"Ssshhhhh, don't talk"
It only took a few minutes for Steve's heart rate to drop, "Good job Superman, sleep now"
"Danno wwhy buddy?" Steve was rambling incoherently as he talked about Jack, "It's mmy fault. He's ddead Danno…oh God wwhat have I done?"
Bonnie looked at Danny, "He's much better, try to keep him calm and hit the call button if you need me"
"Thank you Bonnie"
"DDanny? Danny?"
"Hey, I'm right here Steve"
"I mmade hhim pull the trigger Daanny…..oh God why? I killed hhim"
"Steve sshhhhhhhh…stop now. It wasn't your fault. You had no choice, neither one of you had a choice and you know that"
Steve continued to ramble on about Jack as he fought sleep for more than half an hour, terrified of the nightmares he was certain would come. Eventually though, the Meth, the codeine and the fact that his body was purely exhausted won the battle and he slept.
Convinced he was asleep, the three detectives moved to the side of the room to talk so they wouldn't wake him.
Kono asked, "Danny, what is he upset about? Who's Jack and what happened?"
Danny ran a hand through his hair, "You both remember the case with the ex-SEAL Spencer Malloy?"
"Yes, of course we do. Steve had a tough time with that"
"He had more than a tough time Kono, it was hell on him. Spencer reminded him of Jack Lynch. Jack was a member of one of Steve's last SEAL teams and they had a mission go bad. Jack and Steve were captured and tortured by cartel members in South Africa who were plotting to overthrow the Government. Steve's team had been sent to assassinate the leader of the cartel. The Drug Lord forced them to play Russian roulette and Jack was killed. Steve blames himself for that"
"How can he blame himself Danny?"
"Because he's McGarrett and that's what McGarrett does. He carries the whole fucking world on his shoulders and no matter how many times he's told it's not his fault…he'll still blame himself. That mission was Jack's first….and last. He was petrified and Steve had to convince him to pull the damn trigger or their captors would have killed him anyway. Steve convinced him that at least he had a chance that way. Steve pulled the trigger twice on himself, but the second time for Jack was deadly. He died only seconds before the rest of their team arrived to rescue them"
Tears were flowing down Kono's cheeks as she said softly, "Oh my God, poor Steve"
Chin pulled her into an embrace as Danny continued, "Guys he has told me things about missions and the men he lost that would absolutely break your heart. I hate to break his confidence but I'm telling you about Jack because I'm going to need your help getting his through this. The drugs are going bring many horrific events to the forefront of his mind and it's not going to be pretty. He's vulnerable right now and we have to stay strong for him"
Chin responded, "Thank you for telling us Danny. We can all only imagine the torture, both mental and physical, that he went through over the years. We call him SuperSeal and a Hero, well those words are appropriate. He's given so much to this country"
Danny added, "And yet he never complains and he's always ready and willing to give more, to risk everything"
Kono looked at her friends and then looking at Steve and with her voiced choked with emotions she said, "That's what makes him a Hero"
********** LOTS MORE TO COME, Thanks as always for reading and reviewing ! **********