Huge thanks to RespoFTW, Alsa Ravenwood, and red2013 for the reviews. Getting close to the end, only a couple chapters left.

It was a long week for everyone but it felt like an eternity for Esposito who was trying desperately to fulfill his responsibilities at the precinct while still keeping an eye on his distraught and suicidal boyfriend who, for the first three days, was dealing with coming down off of a terrible heroine high. Those three days had been brutal and Esposito could only grimace and watch helplessly as Ryan suffered. When he wasn't refusing to eat or drink he was suffering from insomnia and extreme nausea to the point the detective was worried about slipped ribs, then on top of all the physical issues were the mental ones. More than once he had found him fully clothed just sitting in the bathtub under the shower's warm spray just staring at the wall with a lost expression. He could blame it on the drugs the first few days but now it was beginning to scare him and he wondered if Ryan was in the midst of a full psychotic break. It's not like he could blame him if he was but if things were this bad now how was he going to handle them if they got worse? He was ashamed to admit that the thought of just getting Ryan away from him and giving someone else the responsibility had entered his mind more than once but he could never leave him, especially now. The days were getting overwhelming with Ryan refusing to speak most of the time and just staring out the window with a small furrow to his brow. The breaking point finally came six days later and he at least began to function normally but he was still severely depressed and only spoke when he absolutely felt like it, which unfortunately wasn't that often.

It was late Thursday afternoon and Esposito was doing push ups in the living room to try to keep his head clear when someone knocked on the door. He jumped up and walked over and after looking through the peephole he grabbed the handle and swung it open.

Beckett and Castle entered the apartment quietly after Esposito placed his finger to his lips and moved out of the way. "He's sleeping."

"How's he doing?" Castle asked.

"Better. He's still upset, hardly eating but he's not off the reservation suicidal anymore."

Beckett nodded, "That's good. We spent so much time thinking about the raid we didn't think about how Ryan was going to take it after the dust settled. I feel terrible for everything he had to endure, we should have been paying more attention."

Esposito shrugged, "Too late to change it now."

Castle's eyebrows rose slightly as he nudged Beckett and smiled over Esposito's shoulder, "Hey Ryan." He had to take Esposito's word on him doing better because he looked terrible right now. His hair was flat to his head and he had dark circles under his eyes, he was extremely pale and while no one but Esposito knew what he normally looked like with his shirt off he looked scarily thin and frail. He seemed shaky as he moved towards the couch and bruises still littered his back and wrists from Conor.

The shirtless man fixed them all with flat looks before he just walked to the couch and after grabbing a blanket collapsed into a small heap with it over his head like a little Strega Nona. Castle walked over and sat next to him leaving a respectable distance between them. Esposito had informed them of how much he didn't want to be touched lately. "How're you feeling today?"

Ryan eyed him carefully before dropping his gaze to the floor. "Exactly like I look."

Castle had nothing to say to that so he moved onto something else, "Alexis is worried about you. She was hoping you could go visit her soon, I told her you made it through everything but she wanted to see for herself."

That got a little bit of a reaction as he finally met his eyes and dropped the blanket from over the top of his head, "I'll call her."

Beckett approached and when his eyes snapped to her wearily she aborted her path to his other side, since it would most likely make him feel trapped, and instead sat down next to Castle. "The Captain and DA went over all the evidence and no charges will be filed against you. It was definitely self-defense."

He just nodded and leaned back.

She sighed softly and glanced at Esposito who was just staring at his boyfriend sadly. Castle cleared his throat and grabbed something out of his jacket and held it up for Ryan to see. "My publisher gave me a copy of my latest book to read over before it gets released in a couple month. I thought maybe you'd want to read it, maybe give me some feedback."

A small spark of curiosity appeared in his baby blues as he eyed the book and after one more quick glance to Castle's face his hand creeped out from under the blanket and grasped it. "I… yeah. I would like to read it. Thanks."

The tension in the room faded a little and Esposito gave Castle a thankful smile before Beckett stood. "Well we better get back to the precinct. It was good to see you Ryan," she offered genuinely.

He glanced up, finally looking at her fully. "You too."

After they left Ryan stared at Esposito who walked over and sat down on the other side of the couch. When Ryan set down the book and shifted slightly Esposito took the hint and moved over before gathering him and the blanket and hugging the ball of material and man snugly. This was the first time Ryan had really allowed contact since the raid and both sat comfortably for quite a while."Totally inappropriate but you look pretty damn sexy with your stubble," Esposito finally said with a unsure grin.

And for the first time since everything happened Ryan smiled.

A couple days later everyone sat lazily around Castle's living room talking except Ryan who was seated by the window just staring outside. He was finally starting to recover from his extreme life change and had even agreed to accompany Esposito to Castle's for dinner but he still wasn't like he used to be. Instead of mischief and warmth he radiated fear and uncertainty. The group all sat around except for Castle who had stepped out a while ago and had yet to return.

Alexis looked over at Ryan's back and walked over before dropping down onto the floor by his feet and laying her head on his leg. His hand automatically went to her hair and she smiled softly as he played with the long strands. "You know you can talk to me when you're ready right?"

"Yeah."

Her arm wrapped around his right calf and the pair sat in a comfortable silence as they stared out at the night sky over the apartment building across the street. "Have you ever gone camping? You can really see the stars when you get away from the city."

"Never."

"I'll take you this summer. I'll finally be able to drive, speaking of can you drive?"

He was so focused on the sky and the feel of her silky hair that he didn't even notice she was drawing him into a conversation and distracting him from his dark thoughts. "I'm twenty-seven, yes I can drive. I just choose not to."

"Sassy," Alexis teased. "Why do you choose not to?"

"Because I hate trying to park, I rode a bike for a while which wasn't too bad."

Knowing what he meant but feigning ignorance she looked up at him and frowned, "I can't picture you on a bicycle."

He knew that she was joking and allowed a tiny smile. "Really? It was purple with flowers and the basket on the front."

The writer suddenly entered the apartment with a large box and Esposito met his eyes and grinned when he nodded happily. "Hey Kev." Both he and Alexis turned but while the red head immediately walked back to the couch he just stayed seated.

Beckett smiled excitedly as Castle set the box down on the coffee table and Esposito went over and dragged Ryan over to the couch with all of them. "We all know that you're feeling pretty down right now so we got you something to try to help you through everything. It's from all of us."

He just stared at the floor until Esposito slid the box onto his lap forcing his attention to it. With a heavy sigh he slipped off the top just wanting them to leave him alone and froze at the sight of a small animal staring up at him curiously.

Alexis smiled hesitantly and peeked over his shoulder at it, "It's a French Bulldog puppy. He's yours."

Ryan stared down at the small tan puppy and even though he tried to fight it he still had to smile at the small animal struggling to get out of the box. He picked it up and held it close, his smile only growing. "What's his name?"

"Up to you bro," Esposito said.

He stared down at the puppy who was attempting to burrow under his shirt and held him up to peer at his face. "Keller."

Castle's brows pulled together in thought. "Sorry but with your accent it's hard to tell, did you say Killer or Keller?"

His lips twitched into a full smile, "The second one, it means little companion."

"What does Kevin mean?" Alexis asked curiously.

Esposito was the one who answered, a small smile on his lips. "Handsome, gentle, and lovable."

Castle nodded slowly, "Oh, so the names are meant to be ironic."

"I don't know," Ryan teased with a grin. "Richard seems to fit you pretty well."

Seeing a glimpse of the old Ryan stunned everyone into silence until Castle began to laugh, Beckett and Esposito joining him a second later. Not wanting to overwhelm him everyone drifted away leaving Ryan, Esposito, and Keller alone on the couch. "I've always wanted a dog," he said quietly.

"Well now you have one. Castle picked him out, said he was the smallest of the litter," Javier explained. "I guess they didn't think he was going to make it since he was so small but he pulled through. He's a survivor."

Ryan played with his massive ears and grinned when Keller bit his finger with his sharp puppy teeth, "Most of us little guys are. Thank you."

"You're welcome and like I said he's from all of us. Alexis figured out which breed would be best for you and the size of the apartment, Beckett and I paid for him, and Castle picked him out and picked him up. Can I hold him?" Ryan nodded and handed him the puppy who immediately whined and fought against him to get back to Ryan. "He's going to be one of those dogs isn't he?"

A smile that lit up Ryan's entire face blossomed and he nodded before taking Keller back. "Yep, and guess where's he's sleeping?"

"Kev, no. That dog is not sleeping in our bed." Twin puppy dog expressions made him groan, "I don't stand a chance with you two. Fine."

Over the course of the next two months Ryan really started to come into himself, which was new and exciting for not only him but for those around him. His confidence grew and he began to really explore who he was as a person, something he had been unable to do at the bar. Keller became his best friend and went everywhere with him. Ryan was excellent at bullshitting people and found that if he pushed just enough he could bring Keller places he wasn't supposed to be, like the precinct and into stores. Because the dog was so small Ryan often just zipped up his jacket and stuck him inside before sneaking past people, like the desk clerk downstairs at the precinct. Esposito would never forget Ryan showing up at the precinct one day grinning at him and a small tan head with huge ears popping out of his half zipped jacket. Speaking of the precinct Ryan had become the unofficial homicide mascot somehow and he not only became fast friends with most of the people on the floor but also Lanie downstairs in the morgue. Esposito had been correct in the fact she would like him and more times than not when Ryan went missing they found him downstairs talking to Lanie and watching intently as she performed autopsies. Even the Captain enjoyed Ryan's company, he had the insane ability to be exactly what people needed whether it be a shoulder to cry on or a backboard for ideas. Or in the case of the Captain, a fountain of information about unsavory people and the inner workings of a criminal mind.

The true turning point in Ryan's life came at the end of the second month.

Castle, Beckett, and Esposito entered the writer's large apartment and Castle felt a smile creep up on his face when he looked around his living room. All the furniture had been turned on its side and stacked against the staircase and Martha and Alexis were on the stairs holding fencing swords and singing as Ryan laid on a mattress on the floor beneath them with his hands behind his head and a 19th century French Lieutenant's hat on.

"Will you join in our crusade? Who will be strong and stand with me? Somewhere beyond the barricade is there a world you long to see?"

Alexis had on a blonde wig and Martha was in full dress as they sang, oblivious to the three new occupants in the room. Esposito smiled at how relaxed and happy Ryan looked, his eyes half closed and a small grin on his face. He had come so far in such a short period of time, from the cocky yet fearful mob child to the outgoing and relaxed man before him now. His eyes drifted to Alexis who was leaning over and looking down at the Irishman. No one had expected any sort of relationship between them but they had become fast friends, Ryan needing someone to latch onto other than just him and Alexis feeling protective of the man she was eye level with. When cases ran late or overnight Ryan always stayed at the Castles', him and Alexis and sometimes Martha always seeming to cook up crazy adventures. It turned out Ryan was even more excitable and strange than Castle, the boy he never got to be showing up more and more everyday to everyone's delight.

"What is all this?" Castle asked with a laugh as he entered the kitchen where Keller was passed out on the rug in front of the sink.

Alexis smiled brightly as Ryan waved and flashed his familiar grin, "Gram's trying out for Les Miserables so we decided to reenact it to help her."

Esposito shrugged off his jacket and laughed, "You drunk again Ryan?"

"A little buzzed but that's Martha's fault."

Alexis bounded down the stairs and over to her dad as Ryan casually removed the hat and stood from the mattress to walk over. "Dad, this was the greatest day ever. We enacted the entire play. Gram's going to get the part for sure."

Martha nodded, "Thank you dear and I must say Kevin did a splendid job as Inspector Javert. The death scene nearly brought a tear to my eye."

Alexis nodded, "He even fell off the top of the stairs, hence your mattress being down here."

Castle couldn't stop smiling, "Sounds like quite the production."

Ryan nodded seriously, "Oh it was, nothing with these two is halfway."

"Welcome to my world," Castle smirked as he set a bottle of alcohol down on the counter.

Ryan eyed it for a moment before running over and grabbing it gently, "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph is this an 1875 Saint Miriam Rock of Scotland?"

Castle nodded, "Oh yeah."

Ryan couldn't stop smiling as he eyed it, "Where'd you even find this? I thought they were all destroyed."

"Our last case," Esposito answered as he approached him and kissed the side of his head. "Did you talk to your parole officer today?"

Ryan nodded distractedly as he continued to inspect the bottle. "This morning." Their relationship for once was finally running smoothly, no arguments or fist fights and even though they had been living together a while Esposito had finally officially asked him to move in. The answer had been obvious.

Castle looked at the bottle before looking back at Ryan, "Ever heard of The Old Haunt?" Ryan nodded and Castle's grin grew. "I just bought it."

"Good for you, it's a good investment. No matter how poor people are they always have money for alcohol," Ryan said. "Plus the history of that place is amazing."

"Only problem is I now own a bar with no bartender, do you happen to know a bartender without a bar?" Ryan didn't move or speak for fear he was misunderstanding the extremely generous offer. Castle clapped him on the shoulder, "I was thinking I could use a partner, someone to keep it running, keep an eye on it since I'm busy with books and research."

"Partner?" Ryan asked quietly. Castle nodded and watched as a hundred things passed over his face before he let out a slightly hysterical laugh. "Yeah I think I know a guy."

Esposito grabbed him from the side and shook him excitedly, Keller jumping up and barking at the excitement. The dark skinned detective picked up the larger but still small puppy when he ran over and hugged him. Even though he'd never admit it he loved that dog almost as much as Kevin.

Beckett stepped forward and shook her head after looking at all the furniture stacked up, "Too bad we missed the play, I always loved Les Mis."

Alexis looked at Ryan who after a soft sigh grabbed the hat and stuck it back on, she clapped excitedly and adjusted her wig before looking at everyone else. "Dad you'll be Jean Valjean, Kate you can be Fantine, I'm Cosette, Kevin is Javert, Gram is Madame Thénardier and Esposito…"

"Is sitting this one out," he finished with a smile as he sat down with Keller and rubbed his hand over his soft fur.

Castle pointed at Ryan who was already standing at the top of the stairs with his hat, sword, and a smug smile. "Why's he get to be Javert?"

"Because I am an amazing antagonist," he replied smoothly as he took a drink from his flask.

Martha piped in, "He really is. Plus he took drama in high school."

Alexis looked at Ryan and pointed to the flask, "Put that away or you won't be able to sing your lines."

He took one more gulp before slipping it back in his pocket, "On the contrary my singing gets much better with alcohol, maybe not to you but to me I sound great."