Thank you for all the great reviews! I really appreciate them! Less than a week to go now until Season 5 of NCIS LA starts - at least in the USA. Until then, here is chapter 11...
About a week after their fake double date, the team completed the case and handed everything over to LAPD and JAG for the judicial part of things. Hetty decided her team had worked hard and needed some time to relax. She requested that everyone be at her home in the hills at 2 pm that Wednesday.
All the team members arrived and sat in Hetty's spacious living room. It was decorated with artifacts from far-off corners of the world during her many adventures. Callen, Jenny and Kensi sat on one side of the roomy sectional, and Nell and Eric sat close to each other on the adjoining side. Sam settled into an armchair upholstered in a toile print. Deeks, who had walked into the room hesitantly upon seeing his former teammates, took a seat on a burgundy settee. Hetty walked around the room while she spoke.
She thanked everyone for coming, and acknowledged that the last several months had not been easy for any of them. It was time to gather together again – all together. She expressed her pride in the team and what they accomplished – both professionally and personally. Hetty looked around the room at everyone: Sam and Callen were making faces at each other, Jenny was doing something with her cell phone, Kensi and Deeks were avoiding looking at each other, and Nell and Eric were cuddled up together holding hands. Hetty smiled and reminded them that even though team dynamics were different than before, they would always be a family.
A long pause followed before Hetty spoke again. She knew there were still unsaid things between them, and wanted everything out in the open so real healing could happen. Everyone was free to speak whatever they wanted and nothing would leave that house. The team members all looked at each other, wondering who would be brave enough to go first.
The next hour and a half was filled with team members being raw and honest in front of each other. Callen apologized for shutting everyone out. He told them he blamed himself for everything since it was his idea to bring Janvier into that case. He felt like he had betrayed his team and their trust in him as team leader.
Nell nervously shared that she was sorry for pushing everyone to get back to normal so quickly. She didn't know what they went through or how to deal with it.
Kensi said that she, too, tried to force the team to get back to their normal routine, perhaps too quickly. She wasn't tortured or betrayed the same as the others, and she didn't know what else to do. Then Kensi turned to Deeks and explained that she was worried about him as her partner and friend, and if she ever gave off the vibe that she didn't care, she was sorry. He was the best partner she'd ever had. There was a hint of a smile on Deeks' lips but he didn't quite make eye contact with her. Finally, Kensi turned to her Jenny and apologized for treating her badly when she first joined the team. She explained that she doesn't like getting new partners because it usually meant someone had been killed. Even though that didn't happen this time, it was still a hard transition to make. Kensi asked Jenny for another chance to get to know her and develop a better partnership for whatever time they had together.
Much to Kensi's surprise, Jenny grabbed her and hugged her with a big smile on her face. She told Kensi that she forgave her; it's not easy to be the new girl on the team but she appreciated the opportunity Hetty had given her to be a part of them. She looked forward to sharpening her skills and learning as much as she could from all of them.
After a slightly uncomfortable silence, Sam stood up, walked across the room, and sat down next to Deeks. Deeks looked at him in annoyed surprise but didn't say anything. Sam took a deep breath and wiped his hands on his jeans before speaking.
"Deeks, I know I tried this once before, and I failed. Big time. So I'm gonna do this here and now, in front of everyone, so you know I really mean every word. And everyone here can hold me accountable." Sam paused and looked directly at Deeks. "I owe you more than just an apology, man. I owe you my life and my wife's. I was a jerk; I was out of line; and I'm sorry. There is no excuse for what I said – for questioning your character and the person you are. You and I operate differently, and I need to accept that. I'm working on it, I promise."
Deeks looked at Sam and nodded. There was no real emotion in the movement of his head, more of a gesture of acknowledgement than acceptance. Sam continued.
"I know I hurt you. You've said before that being a cop is who you are. Like being a SEAL and an agent is who I am. I should know better than to judge you. What we do and how we do it is part of our identity. You have been an exemplary addition to our team, Deeks, always there for your partner and the rest of us. You have never let us down. Yet I let my own set of standards get in the way of seeing what a good man you are. I know you decided to go back to LAPD and not work with us every day in the mission, and I'm guessing that decision was at least in part due to me. I won't ever be able to say it enough, but I'm going to try. I'm sorry Deeks. I'm very sorry. I don't know if it will be today or another day down the road, but I hope you will be able to forgive me. And no offense to Jenny, but we need you back." Sam finished and sat nervously on the edge of the settee, waiting for any reaction from Deeks.
Deeks had watched Sam's face the entire time he was speaking. It was odd to have this large man metaphorically on his knees, asking for forgiveness. But he also knew that this was a very difficult thing for Sam to do – to humble himself and admit wrongdoing in front of the entire team. Sam prided himself on doing the right thing and following the Navy core values of honor, courage and commitment. Deeks stood up in front of Sam and held his hand out. Sam looked up at the detective, who nodded his head affirmatively. Sam stood up and the two men shook hands. "Thank you, Sam. We are different, but that's what makes this team work so well – our differences coming together. I accept your apology and forgive you," Deeks told him.
"So we're good then? Really good?" Sam asked, wanting to confirm what he just heard.
Deeks smiled. "Yeah, we're really good." Sam walked back across the room to his chair. Just as he was about to sit down…
"Oh, and Sam? It's ok to admit being jealous of my golden locks!" Deeks joked. Sam laughed. He knew they would be ok.
Deeks continued standing and addressed the entire group. He apologized for leaving the team and not keeping in touch with everyone. He admitted that the ordeal with Siderov was more than he could handle mentally, and he wasn't ready to deal with the aftermath. Nate helped him see that the people he was pushing away were the ones who cared enough to not leave him alone. Deeks told them that he considers them all his friends, his good friends, and he was sorry if he caused them any pain. His time away from NCIS helped him figure some things out, and although there are still some demons to finish slaying, he has a plan for where he wants to go from here. He sat down and motioned to Hetty to take the floor.
"I want to thank each of you for being willing to open up in front of your colleagues and friends. I know it's not an easy thing to do, especially in our line of work, but I felt it was needed. Now that the hard part is done, it's time for a celebration. I will begin with an announcement." Hetty walked across the room to stand behind the sectional where Kensi and Jenny were sitting.
"Ms. Lowry will be staying on as Ms. Blye's partner for a much longer time than we initially thought." The two women looked at each other with matching looks of surprise. Hetty continued. "Mr. Deeks will not be returning to NCIS for quite some time, and therefore he is no longer eligible to be Ms. Blye's partner."
"What?" Kensi shouted out in shock. "Wh-why? Deeks?" Words were failing her at this moment and all she could do was stare at Deeks, who looked down at the floor.
"Ms. Blye, please allow me to continue," Hetty said straight-faced, not giving anything away. "Mr. Deeks has recently come to me with his decision to join NCIS fulltime as a special agent. His application has been approved, and due to his prior law enforcement experience, has been fast-tracked into training. He leaves Sunday for FLETC in Georgia, where he will spend 12 weeks in the Criminal Investigators Training Program followed by 10 weeks in the Special Agent Basic Training Program. I have already put a request in with Director Vance that Mr. Deeks be assigned here to the OSP upon completion of his training, and the director has assured me that should be no problem. Very few people, even inside of NCIS, know of us here in the OSP, so having someone who is already aware of our security protocols and need for secrecy works in Mr. Deeks' favor to be assigned here. I hope you will all join me in wishing Mr. Deeks the best in his training and future career."
The team applauded Deeks, who looked up and acknowledged his friends with a smile. It had been a big decision for him, and he was happy that the team supported him.
Hetty appeared in the archway connecting the living room to the open dining area/kitchen. "Ok, it's time for some fun! The pool is open, and help yourselves to the food and drinks. You all have the day off tomorrow, so enjoy yourselves!" Hetty said smiling. She loved being able to spoil her team.
Everyone jumped up and wanted to talk to Deeks. Sam spoke up first. "Good luck Deeks. I know you will do great at training. I will be waiting to welcome you back as Agent Deeks."
Deeks smiled at Sam. "It's all about being part of a team, a team you can trust, right? I finally figured out which team was the right one for me." Deeks explained that he loves what he was doing with NCIS, and he can't ever have that same thing with LAPD.
"Hey, if you need anything, anything at all, you call me ok? Now where's that food?" Sam wandered off into the kitchen.
Callen congratulated Deeks on his decision and told him that he will be one hell of an agent. Deeks thanked him and replied that he had already received training from the best, so the rest of it should be a cake walk. Callen assured Deeks that he will always have a place on his team, and is looking forward to seeing his new shiny badge.
Nell shouted out "YAY DEEKS!" as she and Eric made their way out to the pool in the backyard. Hetty had once again disappeared, seemingly leaving the team to themselves.
Deeks walked over to where Kensi and Jenny stood laughing at some kind of inside joke. "So you're going to look out for my partner – I mean, your partner – while I'm gone?" he asked Jenny.
"Of course! Hey, congrats on becoming an agent. The training is mostly boring, so good luck. Picture them all in their underwear. Oh wait. That's for public speaking. Oops!" Jenny giggled. Kensi and Deeks rolled their eyes perfectly in sync and laughed.
"So you're going to be Kensi's partner a little more permanently. There are a few rules I think you need to know to make your partnership easier, so let me fill you in," Deeks said to Jenny as he flashed Kensi a mischievous grin that made his eyes sparkle.
"Jen, don't listen to him. There are no rules," Kensi protested lightheartedly.
"Number one," Deeks cut her off. "Always keep a steady supply of Twinkies and candy bars in your desk and in both of your cars. You never know when you'll need to feed her. Number two, if she seems extra cranky in the mornings, give her more coffee and doughnuts. Never comment about how many doughnuts she eats in one sitting. Never." Deeks shivered theatrically as if remembering a past moment. "Number three, always let her drive – it's just easier – and don't comment on her driving. Also, let her control the radio station – again, just easier."
Kensi glared at him, but he wiggled his eyebrows, smiled and continued. "Number four, always be careful in the gym with her, especially when sparring. Number five, don't ever issue her a challenge you don't intend to carry through on. She's very competitive and is a sore loser."
"How would you know Deeks? I've never lost to you!" Kensi reminded him.
"Touché." Turning back to Jenny, he gave her one last rule. "Rule six is the most important. Invest in a lifetime supply of body armor. Or at least wear a vest and shoulder pads when around Miss Blye there. Those are in case you would accidentally ever break one of the other rules. She isn't as gentle as she thinks she is," Deeks concluded.
"Maybe you're just a wimp," Kensi shot back with a smile. He would know she was joking and enjoying the moment.
"Wow, you guys are like so funny! I can totally see what the guys mean by your thing!" Jenny laughed as she walked off to change into her swimsuit.
"So I guess you've figured something out, going off to FLETC. Good for you!" Kensi said.
"Yeah. I know now that NCIS is really where I belong. It may have taken a little analysis from Nate and some prodding from Hetty, but at least I finally figured it out. Did you know that Hetty actually fired me as liaison and told me I couldn't come back to NCIS unless I was an agent? After I turned in my proposal to work from LAPD, she terminated my position with NCIS," Deeks told her.
"Wow. Sounds like she knew that you'd come back though. So, five months is a long time to be away. Have you figured out anything el – whoa!" Kensi shouted out.
"Come on Kens! Let's get in the pool!" Jenny dragged Kensi by the arm down the hall. Deeks laughed at the two women.
"We'll talk later," Deeks called out after her.
A short time later, just about everyone was in the pool, splashing and laughing and having fun together. Sam had taken on grill master duty, making sure the burgers were done to perfection. Hetty watched from the sidelines and smiled. "I love it when the kids all get along!"
She wasn't sure if she should have gone there or not. Maybe she should have called first. It didn't really matter anymore, as it was 8 pm Saturday night, and Kensi found herself standing in front of Deeks' front door. She knocked and waited. As the sound of footsteps inside got louder, the beating of butterfly wings in her stomach increased. Deeks opened the door and looked genuinely surprised to see her.
"Hey. What are you doing here?" he asked.
"Well, it's Saturday night, the night before Sunday, the day that you leave, and probably my last chance to knock on this door for about five months," she replied.
"So you just wanted to feel the wood beneath your fist?" Deeks replied, giving a hint of a smile at his veiled statement.
"Can I come in, or are we going to talk out here all night?"
"Right this way, princess." He opened the door wider and waved her in. She entered his living room and crossed over to the other side near the couch. Kensi looked around and saw one small duffle bag in the corner, and a pile of folded clothes on the recliner.
"So you're really doing this then?" She asked him. "You're really leaving?"
"Yep. It seems like the right thing for me to do, and something I want to do," Deeks replied simply.
"Five months is a long time to be in training. Sure you're ready?"
"I've been through college, law school and the police academy. I think I can handle this Kens."
"Did you pack clothes other than jeans? Because there will be times when you have to dress up, wear a suit and tie."
"Yep, got those. They put that on the list they sent," Deeks answered, nodding his head.
"What about a small notebook or your tablet? There is a lot of information given out in a short amount of time. And sunscreen? It's pretty warm in Georgia," Kensi told him.
"Kens, why are you here?" Deeks sighed. "I'm guessing you didn't come over just to double-check my packing list."
Kensi bit her bottom lip and looked down at the floor. "I'm… I'm going to miss you Deeks."
"It's only a few months. You've been through all this training yourself, so you know it's not the end of the world," he responded.
"Yeah, I know. But, it's just, well, um, there is a lot of unknown stuff yet. Unresolved stuff between us," Kensi said nervously. She looked up at Deeks, hoping he could read her mind. "The last time we spoke – like really talked – we both admitted some things, but it was left there and we haven't talked about it since. And now you're leaving, so I'm wondering… where does this leave us Deeks?"
"Um, temporary hiatus?" he said jokingly.
"Seriously? Even TV shows don't let their audiences dangle more than three or four months. A hiatus?"
Deeks crossed the room and grabbed Kensi's hand, pulling her down onto the couch next to him. "I don't know what to call it Kens. You come up with a label if that's what you want. What I do know is that my feelings for you, and everything I told you before, haven't changed."
"So why are you leaving? Why now? What about figuring us out first?" Kensi asked.
"Because I have always put everyone else first in my life. This time I need to take care of me, follow through with this, so that I can come back and hopefully move forward with you and with us. That is, if you still want to. I'm not ignoring you or taking you for granted, but I have to take care of myself so that I can be the right man for you," Deeks honestly admitted.
Kensi looked into those gorgeous blue eyes staring back at her. "Of course I still want you, and us. This timing sucks, doesn't it? But I do want you well, and I understand your need to put you first. You've always taken care of me, so yeah. It's time for you," she agreed. She put one hand on his arm and smiled to let him know she really understood and was ok with it.
Deeks looked down at where her hand had landed, the heat from her touch both comforting and exciting. "So we'll be ok? I mean, are we good?"
She nodded her head, never taking her eyes from him. "Yeah, we're good. And we will still be good when you get back."
"Good. That's good," Deeks practically whispered as their heads moved closer to each other, the space between their lips decreasing quickly. In one quick movement he put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her to him. He took her lips in a hungry, passionate kiss. Kensi closed her eyes and let herself enjoy the feeling of those incredibly soft lips on hers. They broke apart briefly to breathe before lips and tongues resumed their fervent explorations.
A small moan escaped Kensi. She started to tug at the hem of Deeks' t-shirt, pushing it up over his muscular abs. He raised his hands and pulled back a little to allow her to push it up over his head. Then it was his turn. Deeks slowly ran his fingers under the edge of her shirt, tickling her bare skin. He pushed the shirt up over every curve until it was off and on the floor. Slowly and gently, he kissed her shoulder and neck. "Mmmm," was all Kensi could manage to say. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let her fingers play with the silken strands hanging down.
Deeks stopped and looked her in the eye. "Are you sure about this Kensi?" he hesitantly asked.
She nodded eagerly. "Yes, I'm sure. I've wanted this for three years; I just didn't realize it until recently." That was all he needed. He helped her stand up from the couch and they made their way to his bedroom, a trail of clothing left in their wake.
Sunday morning found Kensi and Deeks in his bed, bare limbs tangled together. There was no "his side" or "her side"; one body was partly covering the other in the middle. Deeks woke up and turned his head to see the most beautiful woman staring back at him.
"Good morning," he said with a goofy grin he couldn't hide, thinking of the night before.
"Morning Deeks," Kensi sleepily answered him. Those blue eyes brought back flashes of activities from just six hours ago. She hoped he couldn't see the blush rising up into her cheeks.
His goofy grin morphed into a look of nervousness as he tried to sit up a little. "Um, so about last night…" he began.
She cut him off with a genuine Kensi Blye smile. "No regrets, Deeks. It was wonderful – amazing actually." She rolled over onto her side and tried to go back to sleep. Deeks laid down on his side and pulled her in close.
"No regrets here either, Sugar Bear. I'm just sorry it took us so long to get here." He kissed her temple before announcing that he was going to shower and then make breakfast. After they were both showered, dressed and full from the fluffy pancakes Deeks had made for them, it was time. Kensi drove them to the airport. They said their goodbyes just before the security gate, and Kensi made him promise to keep in touch.
"I know exactly how busy or not you will be there. Remember, I've been through it before," she reminded him. He agreed to call and text as often as he could. Deeks asked Kensi to be patient and wait for him to come back, even though it would be about five months.
"I've waited three years, Deeks. I think we can handle a few months." She started to tear up but didn't want him to see. He noticed anyway. Giving her one last kiss, he reached up and brushed away the one tear that had escaped.
"Don't worry Fern; I'll be back."
to be continued...