A/N: So, I don't think this story is ever going to end...I keep coming up with more. Just stay with me though. It will be worth it. I am sorry that this is a shorter chapter than the last ones, but I ended it where I did...well because I could. I know it is a cliff hanger, but all your questions will be answered. I promise. Read and enjoy...let me know what you think, I love the reviews. Thanks.

Chapter Twenty-Five - Drive

He watched as she approached. There was something very different with Olivia today. She moved with a purpose. She looked more like her old self, again. She was ready to take on the criminal world and make a difference, but there was something behind it. It was fear. He could feel it flowing off of her in waves. George Huang had never seen Olivia like this. He wanted to know what had her so scared that she would request to meet with him. He needed to know what her fear was. He needed to make sure that it wasn't her fear that was driving her now.

He gestured at the couch. She crossed the office and sat down. He took his seat and waited.

She sat in the office, nervous. He could see it on her face. She'd called two days before to set up this session and now she was just sitting on his couch, frozen. He couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking about. He was surprised that Alex hadn't come with her this time. They had made such good progress last time, together; he figured that she would be there today.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her.

"Better...freer…loved."

"Want to explain that more?" Huang probed.

"I told Alex what happened to me in the warehouse. I remembered some stuff from that time period. I am sure that she has already let Dana know. I know that I will have to write a report of what happened. It was just nice being able to finally let it go and not be judged about it," Olivia told him.

"Who do you think was judging you?"

"Everyone. I know that it was irrational, but it was how I felt. Alex made me see that I didn't have to be stone to be strong. She told me that I was allowed to break. It was the only way that I knew how to be. I am so used to dealing with victims and the perps, that I forgot that I was human. I forgot how to feel. When I remembered how, I hurt so bad inside that I didn't want anyone else to know. I am supposed to be invincible. I thought I had become fragile and I was scared that I was losing my mind."

"Do you feel like you were?"

"Like I was what?"

"Losing your mind?" Huang asked her.

"I did. That was part of the split with Julie. I seriously thought she was a completely different personality. I mean I know she was, but she wasn't. She was my cover persona, she was till me. She wasn't a completely different personal living in my head. She was and always will be part of me. I've come to grips with what I did as Julie and what I had to do while I was undercover," Liv replied.

"But?"

"I still want to kill Robin."

"I think that is a healthy response to what happened to you, Liv. The only problem that I have with that statement is I need to know if you are going to act on it. If Robin was here, would you actually kill her?" Huang asked her.

"I don't know."

"We need to explore this then. Do you feel like we can do that? I don't want to upset you too much, but we need to know. Can you handle that?"

"I have to. I don't have a choice. I need to know, too."

"Why do you feel that you need to know?" Huang asked.

"Because I don't want to go off half-cocked all the time. I can't be worried about how I am going to deal with situation should something happen and I meet Robin on the street. I need to know that I am going to do what's right. I need to know that I am not going to hurt someone else because I want to hurt Robin. I need to know that the people that I love are going to be safe around me. I need to know that I am not going to cross a line…a line that I have so desperately drawn in the sand and become a vigilante. I need to know that Robin will be punished and I need to know that I am not going to be the one to do it. I need to believe that she will be punished by the courts. I have to know that this is the best way that justice will be served."

"By that answer, I know that you are going to be fine," Huang replied.

"How can you say that? I dream of blowing her brains out. I dream of hurting her. I dream of being her executioner. But, you are sitting there, calmly and telling me that I am going to be fine. How can you say that? How can you know that? How?" Liv questioned.

"Because you are afraid of actually doing it. If you weren't, I'd be scared for you. You rationale is overriding your emotions. You are upset by what Robin did, but you know that she has to be brought to justice for it. You know that you aren't the one to bring justice down on her. You are too close to the situation, so you want someone who is removed from it to seek the justice that everyone in this case deserves. You are thinking like a cop and a lawyer. I think that Alex is rubbing off on you," Huang told her.

Liv laughed, slightly, "I think she is, too."

"Is there anything else you want to tell me? Anything else on your mind? This is your time, Liv. You had the weekend to relax and reflect. What so you need to get off your chest? You requested the entire day with me. Why? What do you need to talk about?" Huang asked her.

"Frankie."

"What about her?"

"I am not sure that I am ready for this," Liv replied.

"You won't know until you try. Liv, what is it about Frankie that you want to discuss? Did you remember something that you want to talk about? Did something that happened in the warehouse make you remember something else?" Huang probed.

"Yes, it did."

"What is it?" Huang questioned.

"I need to know if what I felt for her was real."

"Excuse me?"

"George, I don't know that I loved her. I have all these conflicting thoughts and feelings in my head when it comes to Frankie. I don't know that I actually loved her. I am afraid that I was just playing the part because it was easy to do and it helped the case. I don't want to be that base, but I think that it is partially true. If that is true, then how do I know what I have with Alex is real? How can I trust myself?" Liv asked him with tear-filled eyes.

Huang looked at her. He knew she was hurting. He saw the confusion in her eyes and for once, he didn't know how to answer. He couldn't answer that for her, anyway. She would have to do it on her own. He couldn't make that choice for her. He would help her, but that was all he could do for her.

"Liv, I don't know what to tell you," he told her honestly.

"I feel horrible. I feel like I lied to her. I feel like it is my fault that she is dead. If I hadn't fought Robin so hard to keep her…"

"Don't go down that road. Come back to the here and now. We need to explore this further. Let's take a quick break, okay?" he suggested.

Olivia sat there staring at him. She didn't know what to say and now, neither did George. She sighed, afraid of what she was about to find out, but she knew…she needed to know. She needed to know how deeply she actually, truly, really felt for Frankie or if it was all just trying to be a substitute for her feelings for Alex. George shifted in his chair before he got up and made two cups of coffee. He handed her one and sat back down. They were going to talk more.

"Olivia, tell me why you think you can't trust yourself with Alex."

"It isn't that. I do trust myself with Alex. She is about the only one that I do trust myself with. She knows the real me…the fucked up me and she doesn't judge me or care. She loves me in spite of the fact. I don't know why she does, but heaven bless her for her."

"Liv, are you sure that you want to pursue this now? We could try to figure out something else. We can discuss the other situations that you remember. I need you to stay with me. If this is too difficult, we can wait," Huang told her.

"No, George, we need to do this first. I need to know. I have to know. I can move on until I know the truth behind the lies," Olivia replied.

"Liv, you have already been through enough trauma, are you sure this is wise?"

"George, don't do that. I need to know. I need to know because this is going to haunt me and affect me for the rest of my life. I have to understand everything that happened. I have to make sense of the muddle memories and feelings. I can't live like this anymore."

"Like what, Olivia?"

"This weekend, it opened the flood gate. When those bikes triggered my memories, so much came back. I have to know what it all means. I have to know what I did was the right thing to do, not because it was the case, but because I meant it to happen that way."

"We not find that answer, Liv," Huang told her.

"I have to try. I have to…I can't let it go. I want to know."

"Okay, okay. I see that you are resolved in this. It might take longer than you expect, are you sure that you want to do this now?"

"Yes!"

"Alright, I want to do this a little differently than we have before. Lie down and get comfortable. I want you as relaxed as you can get."

"You are going to hypnotize me? Come on, George. We both know that isn't reliable."

"No, I am not. I want you relax, because when you are relaxed you are more likely to remember something without being coaxed into it. I find that most people don't fight against the memories so much when they are relaxed. I mean you will resist it, but you won't be as tense."

"Whatever you think will work, Doc," Liv answered as she lay back on the couch.

She hated it. She hated shrinks, but she knew that was a necessary evil. She stared at the ceiling. Liv tried to find a pattern in the tiles. She was trying to forget where she was so the memories would come to her. She felt the couch accept her weight.

"Are you comfortable?"

"I'm good. Now what? How does this work?"

"I need you to think back to when you felt something for Frankie. It may have been the first time you met. It may have been the time you told me that she approached you, asked you out. I want you to tell me what it was about Frankie that drew you to her. It doesn't matter how small the memory is. Just start talking about whatever it is you remember, Liv," he told her.

She lay there and let her mind wonder. She grabbed the edge of the couch with one hand and buried her fingers in the cushion. Huang watched her, but said nothing. This was her trip; she had to lead them to the destination.

"It was the first time I saw her."

"What was it about her?" he asked.

"She reminded me of Alex."