Friday morning, Kensi found herself sitting on her couch, head in hands.

"No. No, no, no, no, no," she whimpered softly. "This can't be real; this isn't actually happening, is it?" She sighed and continued staring at the floor. After a few moments, she noticed her watch on her left wrist. "Shit, and now I'm going to be late for work. Great, just great." Kensi wiped the tears that had stained her cheeks, grabbed her bag and keys, and headed out the door.

Saturday afternoon, Kensi looked at the scrap of paper where Jack had written down his address. She had spent the last hour debating whether or not to go. "It's just a cookout with some friends. It's not a big deal," she thought. Ultimately her curiosity about how Jack's life had turned out, and the fact that she needed a distraction from the news she received yesterday, won and she drove over to his apartment.

"Hey, you made it!" Jack greeted her at the door. "Come on in!" Turning to the guys in front of the TV, he introduced her. "Guys, this is Kensi. Kensi, that's Brad, Dave, Mike and Jay. We all work together."

She smiled politely as they all took a longer-than-necessary gaze in her direction. "Hi. So, who's playing tonight?" she asked, indicating the game on TV.

The men all turned their attention back to the screen. "The Bruins and the Ducks," someone shouted as they all came to their feet yelling to someone named Hundley.

"Make yourself at home. There are drinks in the fridge, and I'm cooking the burgers right now. Speaking of which, I better go check on them," Jack said as he walked out onto the patio. Kensi grabbed a bottle of water and followed him out.

"Nice place. So what do you do now? You said you work with those guys – where do you work?" Kensi asked.

"We work for a private security firm. We basically get hired for large-scale events where there are celebrities or dignitaries or important people like that. Pretty cool gig actually. I've gotten to meet quite a few A-listers," Jack replied, looking proud of himself. "What do you do these days? You used to talk about forensics back in the day. Did you get that scientist job you always wanted?"

As much as she wanted to, all her training wouldn't allow her to completely trust Jack. "No, I gave up on the science thing. I didn't look good in a white lab coat," she joked. "I'm actually a personal trainer." She knew Jack would never believe her being an art curator or historian, her usual cover story.

"That's cool. You were always in great shape, and by the look of it, still are. So what gym do you work at? Maybe I'll stop by sometime and get help with my workout." He winked at Kensi with a big smile.

"No. I, uh, don't work at a gym. I have private clients, many of whom prefer to remain anonymous. I go to their homes and help them with their fitness goals," she lied.

The burgers got done, and Kensi helped Jack carry them into the kitchen. Everyone dug in to the table full of football food, laughing and joking and having a great time. Kensi let herself relax and enjoy the time. It was almost like hanging out with her team, with all the guys picking on each other and bantering back and forth.

When they were done eating, Kensi offered to help Jack clean up the food and dishes. The other guys were already glued to the screen for the second half of the game.

"This was fun. I'm glad you came over. Almost like old times, right? Laughing, joking, just hanging out together," Jack said. "We had a great thing, didn't we? I was such an idiot to have ever left you," Jack admitted. Kensi tensed up a bit, feeling uncomfortable with the turn in the conversation.

"I'm glad you figured that out. Now we both agree," she tried to brush it off.

Jack went in the other room to gather some more dishes, while Kensi stayed in the kitchen wrapping up the leftover food. As she moved around the small kitchen, she overheard the guys talking.

"She's pretty hot Jack!"

"Yeah, how come you never mentioned what a smoking girlfriend you have?"

"I bet she gives you an incredible workout, if you know what I mean, ha ha!"

"Maybe I'm trying to keep her for myself and away from you dorks," Jack replied to his friends.

Kensi's mood went from uncomfortable to pissed off. She stood in the middle of the kitchen with her arms crossed in front of her. Jack walked in with a few plates, which he set down on as soon as he saw her face.

"You told them I'm your girlfriend? Seriously Jack? What is wrong with you?" Kensi hissed at him.

"I didn't. I mean, not in those exact words. Just let me…" Jack began explaining.

"Shut up! Either way, you let them think we were together. Is that what this invitation was all about? Trying to win me over, get me back in your life and in your bed?" she shouted at him.

Jack took a small step towards her, holding out his arms as if to embrace her. "Of course not. I would never do that to you. My apology was sincere. Although, to be honest, I wouldn't mind starting things up with you again, K-Bear."

Kensi batted his hands away. "Don't! Don't call me that ever again. I can't believe I came over here thinking you just wanted to catch up and be friends. I should have known there was an ulterior motive. Don't try to find me again – stay in the past where you belong!" Kensi stormed out and slammed the door behind her.

Sitting in her car, she tried to sort through everything raging through her. For so many years, she thought that was the moment she was waiting for, the one she had imagined so often – where Jack returned and wanted her back, wanted their life back. It had finally happened, and she couldn't get out of there fast enough. Kensi realized that the Jack chapter in her life was finally complete. There was nothing she wanted or needed from him anymore. The weight of that realization, along with everything else going on in her life, caused her to start sobbing. Instead of making her feel relieved and free, she felt more chaotic than before.

After calming down a bit, she picked up her phone. She called Nell and Jen and asked them to meet her at her mom's house. She also asked them to bring plenty of ice cream. With a final look back at Jack's apartment, she shook her head and pulled out into traffic.

Kensi's mom met her at the door and wrapped her arms around her. From the phone call she received an hour earlier, she knew something was going on.

"Hey sweetheart. Come on in. The girls are here already. No matter what's going on, we're here for you," Julia assured Kensi. Entering the living room, Kensi saw Nell and Jen sitting on the couch. On the coffee table in front of them were four bowls, spoons, five containers of ice cream – each a different flavor – and a myriad of toppings. Kensi sniffled and half-heartedly laughed.

"You guys really went all out, didn't you?"

Nell walked over to greet her friend. "By the way you sounded on the phone, we decided it was a five flavor night instead of the usual three or four." She hugged Kensi then stepped back. Jen reached out and grabbed Kensi's hands.

"Hey there partner. I don't know what's going on, but I will eat ice cream all night with you if that's what is needed." She smiled gently, unsure if she should hug her partner as well. They had been getting closer at work, and had even gone out for drinks a few times, but Kensi was still a bit of a mystery to Jen.

Kensi shuffled her feet and looked down. She felt like everyone was waiting for her to say something, but she wasn't sure where to begin. "So, I um… I mean first he and I… no, I guess we…," Kensi broke down crying again. Julia wrapped her arm around Kensi's shoulders and guided her to the couch where she crumpled down on the cushion still sobbing.

"The only thing you need to say right now is which flavor you want to start with," Julia said.

Kensi slowed her sobs enough to stutter out "S-s-s-strawberry."

Nell and Julia dished up ice cream sundaes for each woman. They ate silently, giving Kensi a chance to calm down and collect her thoughts.

After a long time, Kensi set her bowl and spoon down. "I… I went to go see him."

"Who? Deeks? I didn't even know you had left the city," Nell responded first.

Kensi shook her head. "No. Jack."

There was silence.

"Wait, who's Jack? Is he another agent?" Jen was confused.

"No. He's Kensi's ex-fiancé. Bad ending," Nell tried to whisper to her.

Kensi heard Nell. "Ha. Bad ending is an understatement. Try two bad endings," she said as she buried her face in her hands.

"I didn't know you two were still in touch. How did this happen? Did he do something to you Kensi?" Julia's maternal protectiveness was coming out.

"No mom. We haven't been in touch. He um, he found me at the beach the other day." Kensi went on to tell them about her and Jack's meeting on the beach, their conversation over drinks, and finally about the cookout that evening. "I really thought I could go there and just hang out like friends. How could I be so stupid?" She started sobbing again.

"What do we do now?" Jen whispered. "More ice cream?"

Nell shook her head and whispered back. "Not yet, too soon. You have to pace Kensi and her sundaes."

"Kensi, sweetheart, we all know Jack is a jerk. You told him off and you left. It's over and none of us will ever let him near you again. It's going to be ok," Julia tried to console her daughter.

"That's not all," Kensi sniffed, shaking her head. "There's, um, more than just Jack." They all waited for her to say more. Finally after a long silence, Julia spoke again.

"Whatever it is, whatever happened, you know you can trust us. You can talk to us."

"I know. It's just, um, so new and I never saw this coming. I still can't believe it. How could I have let this happen?" Kensi wondered out loud.

"Let what happen?" Jen asked her partner. Kensi looked up at everyone. Maybe saying it out loud would help; keeping it inside, even for only thirty-six hours, was taking its toll on her.

"I, uh, just found yesterday, so no one knows yet. No one. And I don't want anyone to know yet either, ok?" Kensi looked up at her friends and her mom. There was a mix of urgency and pleading in her eyes. The three women all nodded their heads affirmatively.

"Wow, ok this is harder than I thought," Kensi mumbled before taking a deep breath. She picked at a thread on the throw pillow next to her before speaking again. "Um, so the thing is, I um, I just found out that I'm… I'm pregnant."

Three pairs of wide eyes and open mouths met Kensi when she looked up. No one was sure what to say at first.

"It's not Jack's, is it?" Julia quietly asked.

"No! Absolutely not. We only just saw each other a few days ago and we didn't DO anything mom," Kensi replied emphatically.

"Sooooo… Deeks?" Nell posed the question they were all thinking.

Kensi slowly nodded her head up and down.

"What does he think about this?" Jen asked.

"I haven't exactly told him," Kensi admitted.

"You haven't told him he's going to be a father yet?" Julia asked a bit surprised.

Kensi shook her head and started to cry again. Nell scooped some chocolate chip ice cream into a bowl, and Jen topped it with whipped cream and a cherry.

"I c-can't tell him, not yet. He's gone," Kensi replied as she accepted the bowl from Jen.

"He's just at training. He can receive phone calls. You know that Kensi," Nell reminded her.

"I just can't. I don't even know what to think about it myself. There's no way I can say anything to Deeks right now."

"Are you happy about this baby?" Julia gently asked.

"I honestly don't know, mom. I'm still processing the reality of it. Everything is so… weird… right now in my life. I don't know what to think about any of it."

"Any of it? Are you just talking about the pregnancy, or more than that?" Jen questioned Kensi.

"All of it," Kensi answered in an exhausted tone. "This is so unexpected. Deeks and I… we only… um, there was only one time. I'm not ready for this. Not at all. I'm a freaking federal agent – I know nothing about babies and kids. I love what I do and I'm not sure I want to stop doing it yet."

"Are you saying you might…" Julia looked worried.

"No! No, of course not. I couldn't do that. I will have this baby, but that's about all I know," Kensi told her mom. "But I have no idea about the rest of it. How am I going to do this alone? How am I ever going to be able to do my job again? Oh my god, Hetty! And, and Callen! What am I going to tell them? How am I going to tell them? I'm going to get fired and be an unemployed single m-m-m-mom," Kensi broke down bawling again.

Nell rubbed Kensi back, trying to relax her. "Sweetie, you are not going to get fired. And Hetty probably already knows, because she's Hetty. Most importantly, though, is that you are not alone. We are all here for you, and you know Deeks will be, too – once you tell him."

Kensi shook her head. "I'm not sure about anything with Deeks."

"Are you kidding? He will be so excited! We've all heard him talking about mutant ninja assassins at least a hundred times a day – and I haven't even been around the guy that much," Jen added.

Kensi shook her head. "Deeks has made progress, but he's not totally the same man he was before… before he was tortured."

She gobbled down the last of her most recent sundae and then told the girls about what had been happening between her and Deeks. She started with the kiss during the Siderov case and continued up through their goodbyes at the airport. Important things had been said between Kensi and Deeks, but he was still not completely back to his old self when he left. He still had searching and healing to do, and so did she. Kensi admitted that she had no idea if they were actually in a relationship or not, and his reaction to anything, much less about a baby, was very unpredictable.

"Maybe talking to Deeks would help," Nell offered. "He always seems to know the right things to say to you and how to help you through things. He will be there for you, Kensi. You know he will."

"No. I can't do that to him," Kensi objected. "He's doing this training for himself, to become an agent. He really wants this. I can't give him news like this and have him distracted the rest of his time there. He has to stay focused – you guys know how important those courses are."

"Do you love him, Kensi?" her mom asked her. "Do you really love him?"

Kensi nodded. "Yeah, I do mom."

"Then you have nothing to worry about. He loves you, too. Just talk to him."

The four women spent a few more hours eating ice cream and discussing Kensi's fears and doubts. They cried together, they laughed a little, and eventually they all found some peace in the form of sleep there at Julia's home. Before anyone's eyelids had closed, Nell, Jen and Julia had convinced Kensi to tell Deeks about the baby before he came home from training. He deserved to know – which Kensi agreed with – but she needed to figure out how to tell him.

Will Kensi be brace enough to actually tell Deeks? How do you think he will react if/when she does tell him? Guess you will have to stay tuned, hee hee! Thanks for all the love!