Author'sNote: Wow. I cannot believe I am saying this, but this may very well be the first M rated thing I've ever written – it's at least a strong T. There is nothing explicit or graphic in here, but there is a LOT of innuendo and sexual references, so if that sort of thing bothers you, you might want to skip this chapter.

Smile

Relationships 2.

"You know," she said, her voice taking on a strange sort of purr, "that took much less time than we thought it would."

Jir beamed. It was nice to get ahead on work. The Rigger freighter they thought had a bad motherboard turned out to only have a loose cable that needed tightening. A job that should have taken a half hour took about five minutes instead. He placed the panel back into the compartment in the floor and fit it into place until he heard it lock in. Nadeh was kneeling just across from him, smiling in a way that made his throat tighten and his stomach twist around in interesting ways. Her cinnamon eyes were heavy lidded, and her lips quirked to the side in the way they got when she was amused by something.

"We can get a start on that V-19 that came in this morning," he suggested brightly as he stood up and set his toolkit aside. She liked the V-19's, they had some amazing maneuverability due to their S-foils. The repulsorlifts on them were state-of-the-art, it was great digging around inside them. They were always getting upgraded, too. They had one of the newer models coming out of Slayn & Korpil out on deck. The Verpines always did amazing work. He grinned at her, expecting her to be just as excited.

She was smiling, but instead of jumping up, she was still sitting on the floor, her legs tucked neatly under her. Her uniform was unbuttoned further than usual and he could see the white tank she wore under the grey outfit when she leaned forward. "Jir," she said, patting the floor beside her. "Come sit with me for a minute, will you?"

He didn't see any reason why not, though he wasn't sure why. Had he missed something in the repairs?

He sat down beside her and folded his legs, wondering what was wrong. Before he could ask, though, Nadeh swung her legs out over his, so that she was effectively draped over his lap. Startled at the movement, he turned towards her, just in time to feel her arms slide around his neck and her mouth come crashing into his in an unexpectedly glorious display of lip-locked affection.

When he thought about first kisses, he always thought it'd be after a date, not in the middle of the workday while hiding in an old Rigger.

That was about as far as his brain got before it shut down, and he was caught up in smushing his mouth with Nadeh's.

The cold water was cold.

Lesson one about random make out sessions in the middle of the day while hiding in freighters with your girlfriend: snogging Nadeh had uncomfortable, rather embarrassing side effects that were only mitigated by the general bagginess of his old deck uniform.

Jir decided abruptly that the shower was now too cold, and he was definitely done with the side effects of lip-locking with Nadeh. He shut off the water.

He grinned at the ceiling for a minute with a dazed smile on his face. Twenty minutes. They'd been in there kissing for twentyminutes. She'd let him wipe smudges off her face, and then…his grin broadened. He knew women were supposed to be softer under their clothes but he had no idea she'd fit in his hands like that. And he must have done something right because she kept making these little breathy hiccups and wriggling around in his lap (which led to the rather problematic side effect between his legs).

What if she wanted to do that again? He almost laughed out loud, but then his grin faded. What if she wanted to do more than that?

He hadn't really had time to think about it when they were kissing. Sure, he'd thought about kissing her for months now, pretty much since they met when he arrived at Ovid Outpost, but the reality was much more intense than he expected. And Nadeh wasn't like him. She hadn't lived in barracks her whole life.

Jir frowned as he grabbed a towel, wrapping it around his waist. The last couple weeks had been nice, and the kissing was really nice (more of that, definitely). But it didn't end there. He and his brothers may not have a lot of experience, but they were all quite aware of what they were missing out on. There were more than a few posters of underclad females plastered on the walls of the barracks.

He was one of the lucky ones. And he didn't want to screw it up, either.

Jir plopped himself down on the edge of his bunk with a sigh. There was really no choice; he had to use the holonet again. This time, he knew any directions he found were not necessarily going to be useful, but at least they might give him some idea of what to do if things ever did progress beyond kissing (and it would be kind of awesome if they did). Technically speaking, he knew where everything went, but basic training was just that – basic. Nadeh deserved more than basic, and she was already dating a standard model. He had to be better than standard – he had to be stellar.

The blank screen of his datapad stared back up at him. He summoned up a search engine, thought for a moment about what to enter, and finally tried the most obvious string of words he could think of: how to have sex.

.0000012 seconds later, a list of results came up. Jir tilted his head to the side, wrinkling his brow in confusion. Why would the top results for "how to have sex" involve droids? Nadeh wasn't a droid. Who the kriff would want to have sex with a droid and why? Useless and bizarre. He cleared the search and tried again: sex maneuvers.

The results this time simply made no sense. He tilted the datapad to the side, almost as though putting it in a better position would render the results more comprehensible. What was a "Double Dewback"? "Galloping Gurrcat"? "Cracian Thumper"? "Tauntaun Topper"? He squinted at the screen in disbelief. This sounded more like a list for a zoo.

The door to the barracks opened with a swish, and Sergeant Fray stepped in, pulling his helmet off as he emerged into the room. Fray was one of the oldest of the clones Jir had ever met, from one of the earliest batches. He was already starting to go grey around the temples, giving him a rather distinguished, big brotherly kind of look. Jir glanced down at his datapad thoughtfully. He only talked to the sergeant when it was really necessary; he usually reported directly to the Senior Chief Petty Officer who oversaw the work on the flight deck.

But Fray was awake, usually friendly, and the only other brothers in the room were sleeping on their respective racks. He frowned, then lifted his head as Sergeant Fray walked by.

"Uh, Sarge?" he called out, a little nervously as he stood up. The older man paused, then turned towards him with a polite smile as he tucked his helmet under his arm.

"Jir. Everything alright down on deck?"

"Yes, sir. I have a personal question, sir. About some research I'm doing."

The sergeant's brows lifted, and his posture eased from the polite formality of work to the more relaxed pose of off-duty. He nodded once, still smiling faintly, for Jir to continue. Jir looked down at the list again, a little apprehensively. "Sir, what's a…Backwards Bantha?"

Now that he thought of it, Nadeh had been muttering something about banthas and the humanoid reproductive process that time when she punched him. Maybe this had something to do with it? He had wondered what in the world she was talking about.

Sergeant Fray was giving him a funny look. Carefully, he said, "Jir, I heard you've been escorting one of your civilian coworkers around a bit, after hours?"

Jir's face lit into a massive smile. "Nadeh's amazing, sir!"

Sarge nodded his head again, sagely. "I see. Well, Jir, when a man and a woman really like each other, they often choose to engage in tactical intimacy operations. Those operations often have specific code names for the particular maneuvers involved. I believe that is one such designation."

Ohhhh. Well, that made sense. The maneuvers had names, like orders had numbers. Like in a reg manual. He looked at the datapad again. Well, if it was just a matter of memorizing the correct code names and their appropriate maneuvers, he could do that. He beamed. "Thanks, Sarge!"

Sergeant Fray nodded formally and clapped him on the shoulder. "Good luck, Jir."

"Thank you, sir!"

Jir twisted his neck to the side. Then to the other side. Then he sort of twisted his body around at the waist, all while holding the glowing datapad up in front of him.

He had no idea humans could bend that way. To be honest, he wasn't sure he could bend that way. Could Nadeh bend that way?

Jir considered that for a moment, while his eyes glazed over, his cheeks flushed, and his jaw hung slightly open.

So distracted was he with the concept of successfully accomplishing the "Backwards Bantha" maneuver, (since it was apparently one Nadeh knew?) Jir did not, at first, notice the door to the barracks slide open and Cutter step through, making his way past the bunks towards his own. Cutter, of course, could not help but notice the dazed, reddened expression Jir was wearing as he stared vacantly at the ceiling with his datapad in his lap.

Cutter came to a stop just to the right of the end of Jir's bunk, folded his arms across his chest and said, "Porn?"

Jir snapped to attention, almost jolting out of his bed, but managed to keep himself from flying out of his own skin. He shot Cutter a glare. "Training."

Cutter lifted a brow and grinned. Jir scowled. Cutter laughed and moved off towards his own bunk. Jir continued to scowl at the other man until he was settling in to his own sleeping space, then returned to the instructional diagrams and frowned at them. Cutter interrupting him had made him self-conscious, but he needed to study. Gritting his teeth, he resolutely turned his back on the direction of Cutter's bunk.

It was about then that a small red icon began blinking in the upper corner of his datapad. A personal message? He opened it with the flick of a finger, and scowled as he read the message, then simply became puzzled.

Jir,

From my personal collection. You can thank me by telling your psycho girlfriend to stop screaming at me so frakking much.

-Cutter

A glance towards Cutter revealed that he was laying back on his bunk, on top of the blanket, with his hands behind his head, his eyes closed, and his datapad beside him. Cutter was trying to help? With his personal collection of what? Jir tapped a second red icon at the bottom of the message, and a display of tactical intimacy diagrams began scrolling across the bottom of the screen.

Jir's eyes widened as he realized what Cutter was offering, then he replied,

Cutter –

You can get her to stop kicking your ass if you clean your shit up and stop acting like a di'kut to her all the time.

Thanks.

Jir.

The reply came back a few moments later.

Jir,

Too much work.

You're welcome, lucky bastard.

-Cutter

When Jir glanced over at his brother, Cutter was powering off his datapad and setting it on the floor next to him, completely ignoring any looks sent his way as he crawled under his blanket, turned his back towards Jir, and went to sleep.

For a long moment, Jir stared at Cutter's back, then smiled.

The old bounty hunter had apparently decided he and Jir were now friends.

That was okay. Jir liked people, and Lunn was a good guy, if a little eccentric. And even though his advice last time hadn't been terribly helpful, he'd been willing to sit down and have a drink. Which was what they were doing now, at Lunn's request. The cantina wasn't full, but there were a few brothers at one of the booths in the back corner, talking animatedly and occasionally breaking into laughter. Jir and Lunn sat at one of the few small, round tables in front of the bar area, where the server droid was cleaning glasses.

"Been taking my advice, son?" the old man asked, taking a long pull of his ale.

Considering his advice was to not talk to Nadeh about killing shit, it was fairly easy advice to take. They mostly talked about ships, mechanics, and some of the other technicians (a process also known as gossiping). And now there was making out, too, which somehow was even better than debating her over whether the Verpines made better ships or weapons. He nodded and grinned. "Yes, sir."

Lunn made a hum of approval as he took another swig. "Good boy. I take it you've won your lady friend's heart?"

Jir beamed. He'd at least won make out sessions.

Lunn chuckled, set his ale aside and leaned forward. "One more thing, then," he said, and Jir leaned closer, sensing some impending nugget of wisdom about to come from the older man. Lunn looked him dead in the eye and said, firmly and seriously, "Even if you're trying to give her a compliment, whatever you do, son – don't compare her to a Nar Shaddaa whore. She won't like it." He leaned back in his chair, picked up his ale, and lifted it in Jir's direction, making a silent toast before taking a long drink.

Jir reintroduced his forehead to the table.

"You know, you usually do that in your bunk."

Captain Maki was grinning at him, and Jir reddened. The break room was empty beside the two of them, and Maki wasn't standing particularly close as he poured himself a cup of caf, so he had thought he'd be able to keep studying the diagrams while he ate lunch. He and Nadeh were starting their string of day shifts tomorrow, which meant they'd have a free evening, which meant they would eat dinner together, (hopefully in the town not in the cafeteria) which meant they would be on a date, which would mean kissing and maybe tactical intimacy operations.

He pulled his datapad a bit closer to his chest, and the Captain laughed outright. "Sorry, sir, I'll – "

"Nah," Maki said as he set his caf down and pulled out a chair beside Jir's, turning it around so he could lay his arms across the top of the back. "Studying?"

Jir scratched the back of his head, awkwardly, earning another laugh from Maki.

"Don't worry about it. I was where you are now about a month and a half ago. Which is why I'm here." The smile on the Captain's grew more serious. "You need to go see Kura."

It took Jir several seconds to process that entire statement. He wasn't sure why he needed to go see the doctor, (he was perfectly healthy) but he was even more unsure of what the Captain meant by being in the same place he was. The Captain wasn't dating anyone. News like that spread like wildfire. He would know, and if he didn't, then Nadeh would, and Nadeh would tell him.

"Consider it an order, if you want," Maki continued at Jir's bewildered silence. "But go see Kura and tell her I talked to you. She'll know what you need."

Well, if the Captain was ordering him to the medical bay, then he had to go, but it was kind of a strange order. "I'll go after my shift, sir."

The Captain smiled and stood, picking up his still-steaming caf and nodding once in satisfaction. "Good to hear," he said as he turned and took a step back towards the door. Then he paused and turned halfway back towards Jir and added, with a particularly sly grin, "Be sure to try the Tauntaun Topper."

And the Captain was back out the door before Jir could muster a reply.

Of all the women at Ovid Outpost, Dr. Kura was, by far, the most admired. Jir had been there to see her arrival, when she disembarked from her transport. He understood his brothers infatuation – he'd goggled along with the rest of them (though was berating himself five minutes later for betraying his beloved and amazing Nadeh). Dr. Kura was almost overwhelmingly gorgeous, and looked more like one of the pinup girls on the posters in the barracks than the stereotypical image of a doctor.

She was Zeltron, after all.

Her purple hair flowed down her back in elegant waves, the rich pinkness of her skin was flawlessly smooth, and her pale green eyes were the color of the sea. She was also incredibly busty, a fact that was not well covered by her drab lab coat. However, she also had a fondness for form fitting pants and sparkly heels, and for some reason Captain Maki never spoke to her about the dress code. It was a little confusing, but whenever questioned about it, Maki would grin goofily and say something about it being good for morale.

In spite of her extreme popularity among the clones on-base, few ever willingly went to her medbay, at least not anymore. Jir paused just outside the closed doors, gulped, then stepped forward enough that the doors swished open to admit him.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"HOLD STILL, DAMMIT!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Gheeaych, sedate him!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH – " THUNK.

Jir stared. Howl slumped down onto one of the biobeds, the outpost's GH-7 medical droid hovering uncertainly beside him. Dr. Kura sighed and straightened, rolled her eyes, picked up a pair of tweezers from the tray beside her, picked up Howl's hand, and pulled out what appeared to be a rather ugly splinter. "Idiot," Kura muttered, tossing the splinter onto the tray. She glanced narrowly over at him, reached up, and brushed a long, lavender ponytail back over her shoulder. "What, do you have a splinter too?"

Dr. Kura was also generally considered about as terrifying as Nadeh. Her favorite weapons were Gheeaych's sedation needle and her hypospray. She also had laser scalpels and a sniper's aim.

The men who thought they were going to get anywhere with her by pretending to be sick or injured learned not to do that, no matter how close it got them to her breasts.

Jir's mouth opened and closed several times before he wheezed, still staring at the unconscious Howl, "Captain?"

Dr. Kura's expression darkened still further, and she folded her arms across her ample chest. "What about Maki?"

He'd take a pissed off Nadeh over a pissed off Dr. Kura any day. Nadeh didn't throw laser scalpels, at least. Jir gulped again. "Told me to see you and you would know?"

Dr. Kura's (dark purple) lips puckered thoughtfully, then her eyes lit and she smiled sunnily, a disturbing about-face from her expression two seconds earlier. "Oh, you're Jir!" she exclaimed before turning back to Gheeaych and ordering sharply, "Wrap up his hand and send him on his way when he wakes up, and tell him to stop making up bullshit excuses to stare at my boobs."

"Yes, Ma'am!" Gheeaych replied, her voice quavering a little as she hovered anxiously at Howl's bedside.

Dr. Kura was approaching Jir rapidly, beaming, her arms outstretched in welcome. "I told Maki, 'Maki, my dear friend Nadeh is spending a lot of time with one of your men, and he's probably just as bad as you, so you tell him to get in here so I can take care of things.' Only took him two weeks, the dolt. I told him this was important. Jir, you sit there," she ordered, bustling him towards a biobed while she hurried over to one of the counters and began pulling hyposprays and an assortment of other medical equipment out.

Jir started to sweat as he eased himself onto the edge of the bed. What was going on? Should he run for it? Make a strategic retreat? Dr. Kura was acting even more mercurial than usual. Before he could contemplate a coherent query, Dr. Kura was spinning around, smiling cheerfully and wielding a loaded hypospray at his neck.

"GYAH!"

"That's the first one!" she said warmly as Jir clutched his now-aching neck and groaned. Had she no mercy? Dr. Kura seemed oblivious to his discomfort while she loaded another round into her hypospray. "That was the contraceptive. Honestly, what those Kaminoans thought they were doing I have no idea. An army of virgins? How terrifying. You'd think they'd include standard contraceptives in your annual exams, same as everyone else."

The hypospray flew towards Jir's neck again, this time at the other side. "GAAAH!"

"That was the vaccination. It takes care of all your common sexually transmitted diseases for humanoids, along with some of the more exotic ones, just in case you get more adventurous than I expect. You'll probably feel a little tired for the next few hours while your body adjusts, but you should be fine by tomorrow night." She beamed at him through the entire monologue, but then her expression went from sunny to deadly serious, her voice dropping in pitch to something distinctly threatening. "Hurt Nadeh, and you'll find out exactly how much pain I can instill with a hypo and some laser scalpels. Understood?"

Jir nodded rapidly. Dr. Kura's expression returned instantly to sunshine, and she grinned at him, clapping him on the shoulder and pushing him up off the table. "Good! I'll be sending a few documents to your datapad with necessary sexual health information. I assume you're still just looking at porn?"

Jir managed to give her a bewildered, glazed look. Dr. Kura waved a hand carelessly. "Never mind. Just read the documents I'll send you. Your health is important. Stupid Kaminoans. Presuming abstinence, bah. Get going, Jir. You shouldn't have allergies to the vaccinations, but let me know if you feel ill or have any questions."

Then he was shoved unceremoniously out the medbay doors, still not entirely sure what just happened, though his brain had latched onto one, random fact he'd managed to infer. He said it aloud to an empty hallway: "Captain Maki is dating Dr. Kura. Whoa."

The bar was dimly lit and smelled like smoke and fried food. The booth they were occupying in the back corner was about as private a location as the bar offered, which was just fine with Jir. There were a few locals from the town filling the other tables, but the back corner let him sit with Nadeh without interruptions. She was looking particularly adorable tonight, in baggy pants, a grey tank top, and bright pink hair in its usual pigtails on either side of her head.

She also was curled up against his side, cheek resting against his shoulder. The remains of their eaten food lay spread out on the table before them. Life was more or less perfect at that moment. Nadeh was wonderfully warm and soft, and he'd decided hugely busty women wielding hyposprays were not his type, which was good, because Nadeh wasn't hugely busty (though she did have a very nice bust) and preferred hydrospanners (which he generally liked as well, so long as they weren't aimed at his head).

She looked wonderfully comfortable just reclining against him, her arms wrapped around one of his. He flushed a little bit, then angled his head down, avoiding the delicate vestigial horns sprouting from the top of her forehead, and kissed the thin skin just below them. She lifted her head and honored him with a lazy smile, then scooted upward and closer and kissed him on the mouth.

Nadeh still tasted like the ale she had with dinner. He grinned, and she paused, looking up at him with amusement, before quickly kissing the corner of his mouth and then working her way across his cheek to his jaw.

Then she slipped a hand onto his thigh and he froze. Was this an opening sequence? Was she hinting at one of the maneuvers? Was he supposed to know which one already? Was he doing it wrong? Should he be encouraging her? They were still kind of in public. No, no, this was just preparation for the operation. Like a briefing before operations began. But which operation? The Tauntaun Topper? The Gurrcat? He should say something. See if he could get her to clue him in? Something romantic. About how pretty she was. And if she wanted to go home? But in a sly, suggestive manner so she knew he was ready for tactical intimacy. Yes.

Then Nadeh slid her hand up his thigh, while nipping the particularly soft bit of flesh just behind the curve of his jaw and below his earlobe.

"I got a contraceptive hypo!"

Jir paused. Wait, that didn't come out right….

Nadeh was blinking up at him with enormous cinnamon eyes. Then her head quirked to one side and she said, drily, "That's…good to know, Jir."

He hung his head. That didn't come out at all right. Though if it was good to know, maybe he hadn't completely screwed things up? He shot Nadeh a hopeful look, which resulted in a quiet chuckle. She pulled slightly back, though continued her contact against him. He sighed. "I've been trying to prepare for tactical intimacy operations, but –"

He was interrupted by a fresh gasp of laughter, and Nadeh leaning further way from him while she tried not to double over. She covered her mouth with a hand and smothered her laughter, struggling to pull a straight face. After a moment, she gasped out, "'Tactical intimacy operations'?Jir, it's sex, not a secret spy mission." Her laughter continued to lighten, and she looked at him with an amusement that was wonderfully gentle. She placed a hand on the side of his face and caressed his cheek fondly. "You're sweet, you know that? Kind of weird, but sweet."

Jir flushed, partly from embarrassment, but partly because of the warmth in her gaze. Her thumb grazed his cheek again, and she leaned in and gave him a lingering, but chaste kiss on the lips. "I'm glad you're so enthusiastic, Jir, but honestly?" She brushed her knuckles against his cheek and then let her hand fall back to her side. "We've only been trying to date what, three weeks now? I'm not quite ready for…" she grinned wickedly, "'tactical intimacy operations' with you yet. Judging by how freaked out you are, I'm thinking you're probably not either."

She planted another soft, lingering kiss on his cheek, then withdrew far enough to smile at him in a way that was kind and sly and full of promise all at once.

And he found that he was - just a little bit – relieved.

Nadeh's hair (still pink, now with red tips) spilled out across the pillow like a tangled up fan. She lay on her side, curled up with one hand lying, open palmed, just in front of her face. The other lay in the middle of his bare chest.

With one hand, he tugged the blanket higher up, and scooted infinitesimally closer to her. She responded by groggily opening her eyes and snuggling closer, wrapping her arms around the closest one of his before drifting back to sleep with a drowsy, contented mumble.

He hadn't planned it, and he suspected Nadeh hadn't either. She'd wanted to change clothes before they went for a walk outside the outpost, near some rainbow-colored, stratified rock formations they'd heard about. She'd slipped into the 'fresher to change, emerging a moment later in plain clothes and with a smile on her face, and he'd kissed her forehead, and then somehow, they managed to never leave the room.

Jir lay on his back, with Nadeh curled up at his side, and smiled.

The Backwards Bantha really was pretty awesome.

This ficlet officially involved the WEIRDEST research I have ever done. Also, you can thank the wonderful laloga for the term "Backwards Bantha".

Also, a great big thank you to everyone who's been reading lately! DoubleEO, laloga, BunBun Fett, AwRiter, Jadedsnowtiger, SerendipityAEY, Clayto, littlelionluvr, xander, Sarge, sachariah, Syccada Jynn, Queen Ceilidh, TheLightisMine, LongLiveTheClones, Olen jedi ikuisesti and reulte! I really don't thank you all often enough anymore, so...thank you. I really do appreciate all your kind words very much, and it's a pleasure writing for you all.

~Queen