Chapter 27

WARNING: It may or may not make you cry, depends on how strong your 'feels' are. This is dedicated to Sam Winchester. I wasn't going to do this until later chapters but I think I've made you wait enough. Enjoy.

To those who enjoy pain: I suggest you listen to Carry On My Wayward Son as you read this chapter. You're welcome.

A/N: I have started another fic, it is called Stranger Than You Dream It based on an image by Artmetica on Livejournal or Nasyu on Deviantart. The plot is taken from the play the phantom of the opera. I hope you like it, thank you for reading (:

~)S*G(~

All of my affections

I give them all to you

I'll be here for you always

And always be for you

~Island Song by Ashley Eriksson

You embraced my hugs

Watching the time

As though it was the first

And saved it for me

…

If I could rebirth

I'd look every day at dawn

Smiling as ever

Like that one time

~ The Beach by LOVG

(Translated by me)

He lay on the warm and soft mattress, his legs curled up to his chest and he could feel the beat of his heart throughout his body. A sigh escaped his lips as a pang in his heart stabbed making him close his eyes wishing the feeling faded; his muscles were weak, his face pale, his eyes weary, glassy, gloomy. He could feel his heart swell with emotion, a needle slowly perforating it, the bile rising up to his throat, the tears threatening to spill even though his eyes were dry, dark circles adorned the sombre beauty; his body trembled as he held on to the covers tightly making his knuckles white. A knock on the door drew his attention towards the being standing at the door starring at him in sympathy and pity.

"Get up, Sammy. Sulking in this room won't do you any good." Dean spoke sitting on the edge of the bed where his younger brother lay hiding away.

"Go away, Dean. You don't understand." his voice muffled as he hid his face on the pillow.

"Oh, I understand it hurts like a bitch, Sam but it's been two weeks and you staying in this room depressed won't bring her back. Get your ass off the bed and go downstairs before I call mum." the older boy stood up pulling the covers from his brother who simply curled his body closer to him.

"You're a jerk, Dean." his voice trembled, the older brother walked towards the bed and once again sat on the edge.

"Hey, I know it hurts, okay? I know it feels like shit and it's hard to get up in the morning pretending everything is fine but it gets better, trust me. You've been hiding in your room for two weeks, Sam, two weeks. It's not going to make Jessica come back, you just have to let her go." he ran a hand through his hair as he sighed, Sam kept quiet for a moment before sitting up, he sighed looking at his hands on his lap.

"I know…." he whispered quietly, the need to cry built inside him once again yet no tears could be made. Dean stood to leave patting his brother on the back.

"Get dressed, you're coming with me." Sam looked up at Dean knitting his eyebrows.

"What? Where?"

"Novaks'" he grinned.

"Dean, I don't want to go anywhere. I'll get out of bed if it will make you leave me alone but I'll stay in the house, okay?" he ran a hand down his face.

"You're coming with me or I'll drag you over there."

"I don't feel like putting up with anyone, specially Lucifer, he's always ruffling my hair and it's annoying."

"I'll tell Michael but you're coming with me whether you want to or not, ya hear?" Sam sighed and nodded. "I'll be downstairs." he smiled and left shutting the door behind him.

Sam stood up and sighed, it had become a customary response to ease the pressure that built inside his chest though it always returned perhaps stronger than before. His weak limbs carried him to the bathroom and he stood starring at the image on the mirror, it frightened him being unable to recognise the eyes starring back at him as if life meant nothing, emptiness in them. Though his age was young, fourteen years old, he was of enough age to understand his feelings, the hurt inside caused by heartbreak, the emptiness from loss of the one he knew loved. He could hear the words in his head still as though they'd just been said, he wished they would fade, he wished they'd never been said because he lost a good friend and the girl he loved.

His eyes closed as he remembered her sweet scent from the many times he held her tightly in his arms, bubble gum, gardenia, the scent of her hair, all that she was and he loved. He missed the warmth of her arms around him as they lay together on the sofa simply relishing the moment, he missed her smile as her blue eyes stared at him, the feel of her lips on his, his fingers intertwined with hers as they walked or sat silently doing nothing but listen to each other's silence. Jessica, the Jessica who accepted the person he truly was without the need to create a façade that others would find appropriate to their like, the friend he knew since he could remember. The little girl he met during recess in kindergarten as he sat alone on a bench reading Dr. Seuss's Green Eggs and Ham.

"I'm Jessica." he turned his head away from his book to find a blonde girl with cherry lips sitting next to him, her presence surprised him since none of his classmates ever found him interesting enough to invite him to play.

"Hi." he gave her a shy smile and she responded kindly, "I'm Sam."

"What are you reading?" her eyes turned to the book he held, Sam closed it allowing her to see the cover of the book.

"Green Eggs and Ham."

"How old are you?" she narrowed her eyes at him and he looked down.

"Five." he said softly.

"You're really smart, aren't you? I can read but a little. My mummy taught me." She grinned. "I'm five years old too." she lifted her hand showing her five small fingers. "I like you, Sam. Do you want to be my friend?" he lifted his head to find the little girl smiling at him expecting an answer, the corners of his lips turned into smile as he nodded. Jessica moved closer to him and the boy tried to hide a smile. "You should read to me, you can read."

"Okay." he grinned. "I'm on this page but I'll start from the beginning." he pointed at the page number on the corner.

"Okay." she rested her head on his shoulder as Sam began reading.

"I am Sam. I am Sam, Sam I am." Jessica giggled, Sam stopped and looked at her.

"Your name is Sam and his name is Sam." she continued giggling, Sam smiled and continued reading until recess was over. He stood up to leave as he watched the other kids racing towards the entrance of the building, a hand tugged his before he could give another step and he found himself being dragged into the building by Jessica.

"Let's sit together!" she said moving her supplies from her assigned position to the table Sam was sitting along with other two kids who didn't seem to enjoy his company.

"You'll get in trouble for not sitting in your seat, Jessica." he said glancing at the teacher who stood at the entrance taking attendance.

"I don't care. I want to sit with you." she smiled, "Do you like Tooty Frooties?" Sam blinked at her confused.

"What's that?"

"Try one. My cousin gave them to me and I don't like sharing them because they are really good but since you're my friend, here." she opened her small hand extending it towards him holding several small candies of different colours, Sam looked at her with a smile on his lips and took the treats.

"Thank you." he placed one in his mouth with a smile.

"That one is apple. It's good, right?"

"Yes, I like it. Where did your cousin get them?"

"I don't know." She shrugged narrowing her eyes as if in thought, "She came to visit last week but she went home. I miss her." she frowned slightly, "Are those your crayons?" she pointed at a box of multicoloured crayons.

"Yes." he nodded.

"Can I borrow them? I was drawing something for my mum but I don't know where I left my crayons, I think someone took them. Do you like this?" Jessica lifted up a sheet of paper; a pink triangle with a circle on the top angle, horizontal lines on each side and two vertical lines at the bottom supposedly a woman, she stood next to a house with a man drawn from a rectangle, a circle on the top, horizontal lines on each side and two vertical lines at the bottom.

"Yes, you can draw good. Are they your parents?"

"Yes, that is mummy, that is my dad and I am going to be next to them." she pointed with her index at the blank space between the two parent figures.

"I think your mum will really like it." he smiled as he finished the last of the candies. Mrs. Cardenas did not notice Jessica missing from her assigned seat and they were both thankful for that. Sam enjoyed her presence though he felt insecure she would find him prosaic as the other children did; the years passed making that insecurity fade as their friendship developed further. He was known as a Winchester, Dean Winchester's brother throughout the years which he disliked but Jessica knew him as Sam, Sam who enjoyed reading, maths, research about things other kids his age would consider dull, Sam who preferred apples over chocolate bars, studying over interacting amongst others, the little freak named Sam whom she had come to love. Sam, the timid little thing sitting alone on a bench reading Green Eggs and Ham yet she had found him interesting.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Sam." she would always say after school ended proceeding to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"I hope one day I see you again, Sam." she had said placing one last kiss on his forehead before leaving on a plane to France tears staining her rosy cheeks.

Sam took one last look on the mirror before walking out of his room downstairs where Dean waited for him, the aching in his chest would not recede which made him constantly keep sighing. Mary sat at the breakfast table with a cup of tea and a novel, her attention fixed on Sam as he made his presence known. With a small smile Mary stood up and embraced him pressing her lips on his forehead.

"How are you feeling, dear?"

"I'm fine, mum." he smiled at her as to ease her worries though she could see he was forcing it.

"Don't forget that I love you, okay?" she tightened her arms around him as he buried his face on the curve of her neck, it was a comfort he found alleviating his aching heart.

"You will be alright soon, sweetie. I promise." her hand moved soothing his back and he sighed once again.

"Thanks you." he smiled slightly as she released him.

~)S*G(~

"I swear if any of you mention anything about it, I'll kick your sorry asses." Dean threatened each one in the room at the Novak house while Sam was in the restroom.

"Don't worry, Dean-o, we'll keep our mouths shut." Lucifer sighed as he stood walking to the kitchen. Castiel sat on the sofa with a book and Gabriel's head on his lap, Anna lay on the opposite sofa with her mobile, Raphael and Michael were busy in the kitchen preparing a meal, Balthazar and Crowley sat on the carpet playing Go Fish.

"What the hell, Dean, you're heavy, get off me!" said Gabriel pushing Dean off his thighs.

"Then get off my Cass." he chuckled.

"I was here first! Besides, he's MY brother." he crossed his arms across his chest not moving from Castiel's lap.

"So? He's my boyfriend. Get off!" he took a cushion and hit Gabriel on the face repeatedly, Castiel sighed trying to ignore both of them.

"Cassie, tell him to go away!" Gabriel pouted putting his hands in front of his face as defence.

"He won't tell me to go away, he loves me more than he loves you." Dean said smugly, Castiel rolled his eyes and continued reading his book.

"Stop hitting me, I'll cut off your hands!"

"Well then people are going to be asking: Why are you running around with no hands?" he smirked and Gabriel snarled at him.

"Fine but if you don't stop hitting me I won't move." Dean put the cushion aside and stood up allowing Gabriel to move away from his twin. "I hate you." he glared at Dean.

"Nope. You love me." Dean winked at Gabriel who gave him the bird, he chuckled laying his head on his boyfriend's lap. Castiel looked down at Dean and cupped his cheek leaning down for a peck on the older boy's lips.

"Um, may I have a glass of water, please?" Sam stood in the kitchen awkwardly leaning against the door frame, Lucifer nodded and took a glass from the shelves filling it with water from the fridge.

"Do you like chocolate truffles, Sam?" Michael asked as he placed each on a platter.

"Sure." he smiled slightly taking the glass of water from Lucifer's hand. "Thank you." Sam looked up at him, Lucifer gave him a soft smile and continued with his former task.

Michael took a saucer placing a chocolate truffle in the middle and gave it to Sam.

"Thank you. Did you make them?" he took a small bite.

"You're welcome. Yes, Gabriel insisted I did." he sighed.

"They're really good."

"Thank you." he smiled.

Sam returned to the living room where the others were and sat on the love seat awkwardly looking out the window. He sighed feeling the ache in his chest he'd been proper oblivious of until he sat down. As much as he tried to forget about Jessica, it was impossible, his thoughts were invaded with images of her, memories of their childhood, times spent together and it hurt. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, they itched since he could no longer cry; movement next to him attracted his attention and he turned to see Gabriel sitting next to him holding his closed hand out to him.

"For you." he said with a smile, Sam looked at him confused.

"What is it?"

"Give me your hand and you'll see." Sam put his palm towards the other boy's hand and Gabriel opened his. "They're my favourite, I want you to have them." he smiled, Sam smiled feeling his bottom lip tremble.

"Thanks." he choked out holding back tears. "What are these?"

"Tooty Frooties," he kept a smile on his face, "Balthie and Crowley bring them to me when they visit their mum." Sam closed his eyes for a moment then blinked the tears away. Gabriel sat there quietly admiring the broken state the boy was in, he dared move closer to him offering comfort which Sam accepted, he wrapped his arms around Gabriel tightly and sighed.

"Thank you, Gabe." He smiled as he let go.

...)S*G(...

TO AVOID CONFUSION: Jessica had to move with her parents to France. Gabriel had not the least idea about the Tooty Frooties. The last sentence has double meaning.

This is the beginning of something wonderful. I hope you liked this chapter, I apologise for grammar mistakes, English is not my first language.