You guys are all the best. Thanks! Keep up the reviewing! happy Holidays! I spent mine with my family and had more than my fair share of humiliating moments. Oh well
Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse
-Coldplay "Lost!"
Weeks had passed since the death and funeral of Anna, and Zach and I were still the only ones who knew what really happened to her. He had gone everywhere with me, refusing to let me leave his eyesight for more than 5 minutes. I didn't really mind, because I was terrified myself. Catherine was right when she said the paranoia would destroy me. I look over my shoulder everywhere I go.
My relationships with my friends were still strained and practically nonexistent. The only one who would willingly talk to me was Liz. Macey only talks when needed, and I haven't spoken to Bex since we fought.
I didn't know what Zach and I were. He was always there and we talked constantly, even shared a few chaste kisses. We were not official, but everyone knew we were together.
I pushed the food around on my plate with the fork. I had absolutely no appetite. Zach looked at me concerned, but I just shrugged and said, "I had a lot of food earlier at breakfast." He nodded and went back to scarfing down his own lunch.
The table stopped taking and stared at whoever was approaching our table. When I looked up, I found Abby in all of her glory quickly walking towards me. I sighed and put down my fork, waiting for her to say something.
"Squirt, can I talk to you before you go to your classes? It'll be quick. I promise." She flashed me a wink and went back to the teacher's table, not even waiting to hear my response. Before I knew it, the bell had rung. Zach looked at me and I smiled.
"Go ahead, I'll meet you there. Abby said it wouldn't take long."
"Okay. I'll tell Joe who held you back." I shot a thankful smile at him and left to find Abby.
"Hey Cam. I just wanted to warn you about your lessons today. You will be covering a touchy subject and I don't want you to be caught off guard. Mr. Solomon will be discussing torture methods today." Even though I didn't remember what happened over the summer, I knew that the Circle had me and that they probably tortured me. Learning about it was probably the last thing I wanted to do.
"Oh. Thanks for the heads-up Aunt Abby. I don't remember anything about it though, so I will probably be fine. See you soon." I rushed to Cove-Ops to get there on time. The dirt walls and floor always reminded me a little bit too much of the tombs of Blackthorne, but I shook it off. Now was not the time to dwell on that.
"Just in the nick of time, Miss Morgan. Take a seat please." I scanned the room looking for the empty seat when I saw Zach alone at one of the table. Bex was on the other end of the room scowling. He must have saved the seat for me.
"Hey" Zach whispered.
"Hey" I murmured back. I turned my attention back up to Mr. Solomon. His apologetic eyes flicked to mine before addressing the entire class.
"Today ladies and gentleman, we will be discussing torture methods," I felt many eyes land on me as he said this. I continued staring ahead, ignoring the stares. "I'm assuming everyone here knows what torture is," In turn, Mr. Solomon received a chorus of nods. "Good. I'll show you all a CIA issued video." He briskly walked over to the light switch and flipped them. The room became shrouded in darkness.
To be honest, I wasn't really paying attention to the video. I didn't want to hear what had happened to me, much less see it. I could tell everyone else was engrossed by the video, many leaning forward in their seats. Zach was watching me.
"Miss Morgan, please pay attention to the video. You will be tested on this at the end of the semesters." I hated him then. I really did. He knew what affect this might have on me, and he was forcing me to watch it. My fists clenched and unclenched, over and over, as I stared at the screen. Images danced in front of my eyes, and my hands started shaking.
Once again, this was all too familiar. They were showing someone being water boarded and I could feel it. I could feel the towel being placed over my face, the chair tipping back, gallons of water being poured onto me, the burning of my lungs. My body tensed and my breaths became jagged. I looked around to make sure that no one noticed the change in my behavior. I was lucky everyone's eyes were still on the screen. More and more images were being flashed on the screen and I thought I was going to lose it. I thought the famous, but currently broken, Chameleon would finally snap.
But then Zach's large and calloused hands gripped both of mine. His eyes were still staring at the screen, but he was watching me through his peripheral vision. His thumbs rubbed soothing circles on the palms of my hands, and then I felt okay. I was still livid with Mr. Solomon, and still slightly panicking on the inside. But he knew when I needed him, and he was there to stop me.
I tossed and turned in my bed that night. I was exhausted, but wasn't looking forward to dreaming. Lately I had been having more and more restless nights. Finally, after what seemed like hours, I was able to shut my eyes and allow my mind to rest.
The street lights illuminated the slick cobblestones. I kept my head down and walked quickly. Multiple footsteps were pounding behind me. The Circle found me. I needed to reach a busy part of Rome and get out of the abandoned side streets. I could only hope that I would disappear into the crowd. But I needed to get to a crowd first. The assassins and terrorists broke out into a run behind me. Without sparing them a glance, I pumped my arms and moved my feet as quickly as possible. I should have known that I wouldn't be quick enough. I flew to the ground and felt both of my arms being pulled behind my back.
I was pulled harshly up and faced the people who found me. My heart almost stopped when I saw Grant standing in the group. His eyes met mine and recognition filled them. His tan skin paled slightly . We never broke the eye-contact. Sure, I didn't really know him. But he was one of Zach's friends. He knew who I was. Betrayal twisted through my stomach. I shot him a glare and turned back to the woman in front of me. Zach's mom.
"Cammie, you really gave us a run for our money! I guess we severely underestimated your capabilities. I think everyone did. Now I really know why Zachy likes you! A beautiful, smart, and skilled girl. Not many people truly appreciate you, do they? Don't worry, one day they will. After all, I was just like you. People like you and me need to stick together." I tried to rip my arm's from the man's grip, but it was to no avail. "We just want to... trigger something in your mind. Don't worry about it." Her lie was pathetic. I flew my legs out to kick her. She quickly dodged it.
"Tut-tut Cammie! Don't make this worse for yourself."
"You are a monster!" I yelled this with all I had. The fake warmth in her eyes was replaced with hardness.
"Injure her. We don't want her to try and escape. But you cannot kill her." Catherine walked away and started a car a few yards away. One of the men approached and straddled me. I caught the silver glint of a knife and before I knew it I was bleeding from my stomach. It happened over and over and over. I thrashed my legs around and screamed.
I screamed for everyone.
I screamed for anyone.
No one came.
I woke up to my own screams. I was screaming into a pillow, my sheets on the floor. I didn't know tears were falling from my eyes until I felt one run down the side of my cheek. I sat up quickly and looked around. I was in my dorm room at Gallagher. I wasn't with the Circle. My eyes scanned the three beds. Macey was sleeping perfectly on her back, ear buds in her ears. Bex was snoring loudly and tangled in her sheets. Liz was… Liz was awake and staring wide-eyed at me.
"Cammie. Are-are you okay? You umm, were screaming and… talking i-in your sleep." She knew. She had to have known.
"Go back to sleep, Liz. I just need to cool down and take a walk. I'll be fine." I was still taking huge gulps of air. I was shaking slightly, revolted at the memory. Liz didn't move. I sighed and walked quietly out of the room.
I'm not sure how I ended up there, but somehow I was standing outside of Zach's room in the middle of the night. I tapped on the door lightly and 4 seconds later Zach was at the door with a gun in his hand. Upon seeing me, he went back to his dresser and put the gun back on top of it. He came to the door again.
"Cammie?" I was vaguely aware of tears streaming down my face and my body trembling. I nodded my head slightly.
"Can I sleep in here? Please?" My voice didn't sound like my own.
"Of course Gallagher Girl. Come here." He beckoned me into his room and led me to his bed. He sat down and patted the spot next to him. I sunk into his comfortable bed as we sat there in a comfortable silence.
"What happened?' Zach looked wide-awake for someone being woken up in the middle of the night. I was still crying and shaking.
"I had a really bad dream. That actually happened. So I guess a flashback? It was awful Zach." He quickly pulled me into his arms and held me like a child.
"I'm sorry Gallagher Girl. Want to talk about it?" I was conflicted. On one hand, I needed to get this off of my chest. I had to tell someone. But I was also afraid of how he would react. "You don't have to." Zach had noticed my hesitation. We laid there together for another 7 minutes before I gathered the courage to speak.
"It was in Rome. I was stupid and got caught. They stabbed me a few times so I couldn't fight back. I recognized a familiar face in the group." His muscular arms tightened around me as I felt him tense.
"Who?"
"Grant." He sucked in a large breath. He took one of his hands and brushed away the tears staining my cheeks, and then rested it on my waist.
"Go to sleep Gallagher Girl. I promise I'll protect you." That was all I needed to close my eyes and finally fall into a warm slumber. But as I began to drift into unconsciousness, I swore I felt a lone teardrop drip down onto my forehead.
For some reason this chapter was difficult to write. Sorry for the absence of quality in this one! REVIEW!