Fiance'? Danny stared at his partner, the man he had spent the majority of the last three plus years of his life with. How could he have not known of Emily or Chad?
Steve continued, "I met Chad when we were ten years old. He was nerdy and gawky and he was the nicest kid I'd ever met in my life" Danny saw the grin on Steve's face as he continued, "I taught him how to play football and by the time he were in high school both of us made the All State team. After Mom died and I was sent to the mainland, Chad convinced his family to send him to the same Military Academy I went to. We went through everything together Danny…..Military School, Annapolis, SEAL Training….once we were in Military Intelligence we were based in different parts of the world for a couple of years. During that time he met Christina Tate while he was home on leave. They fell for each other fast and six months later they got married. I was his Best Man and her sister Emily was her Maid of Honor. I had never met either of the girls until then but during my three week leave, Emily and I grew very close. Emi and I corresponded constantly over the next year and then Chad and I were assigned to serve on the same SEAL Team, Team Four under Commander Joe White. We were based out of San Diego and Emily moved out West to join us. Chad and I would be away on missions for weeks at a time so we rented a house together so the girls would have each other when we were gone. God Danny, those were good times and I was so unbelievably happy. The love of those three Danno…..they saved me. The loss of Mom, the abandonment I felt being separated from Dad and Mary…I was loved again, and I was needed. Chad and Christina had been married for almost four years when she became pregnant and I finally proposed to Emily"

Danny interjected, "What took you so long"
"I don't know. I knew early on that she was the one, but things were so damn good…I guess I was afraid that something would happen….and it did" Steve's voice began to shake with emotion as he continued, "We were on a mission in Germany. We were sent to find and take out a team of three hit men that were sent to assassinate a high ranking Government Official. We tracked the hitters to the Harz Mountain region. There were numerous silver mines in the area and we got caught in an ambush. Before we could take them out two of our men were hit. Kenny Ellers was hit in the hip and leg. He survived, but the injury forced him to retire from the SEAL's. I wasn't able to save Chad…...he took two rounds to his side, under the armpit. A couple of the guys ran to get our truck but he bled to death in my arms in moments" Steve paused, taking in a deep breath…."As I held him in my lap, Joe did everything he could to stop the bleeding but one of rounds had pierced his lung. He knew he was dying... He struggled to talk, making me promise I would take care of Christina and the baby. I loved him so much Danny…he was my brother and a part of me died with him"

Danny reached over and grabbed Steve's arm, squeezing it reassuringly, "I'm sorry Steve"
The SEAL's next words can haltingly, "He died and then I betrayed him"
They sat quietly staring out at the pitch blackness in front of them. The sound of the waves crashing to the shore soothed Steve and a few minutes later he was ready to continue.

"Telling Christina that Chad had been killed was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. She was destroyed Danny. She had found out the day before he died that they were having a little girl and she never got to tell Chad. He wanted a daughter, a little angel. I took a three month leave and we were planning on moving them back east to live with their parents. Our house in San Diego was on the Oceanfront. Five weeks after Chad's death, their parents had flown home. That night I grilled burgers and after dinner Christina excused herself to go take a bath. Emily and I cleaned up and washed the dishes. We were going to pop in a movie and Emi went upstairs to check on Christina…." Danny's eyes were trained on Steve. The SEAL's eyes were closed and tears streaked his cheeks as he continued, "I'll never forget her screams Danno. I found Emily kneeling next to the bathtub. The water was blood red. She had slit both of her wrists. Emi was screaming for me to help her, but it was too late. I'd seen enough dead bodies to know it was too late. She was ghostly pale and her eyes were open and cloudy. I told Emi to call for an ambulance and I lifted Christina out of the tub and carried her to the bed. I pulled the quilt around her and when Emily came into the room…..she laid on the bed and put her head on her sister's shoulder….God Danny…..I promised Chad I would protect her….." Steve could no longer go on.

His sobs were torturous and Danny also cried for his friend. "Steve, I'm so sorry. You know what happened wasn't your fault"
"Of course it was my fault…..Chad followed me. He went to the Academy because of me, he became a SEAL because of me….and he's dead because of me. And then Christina and the baby….they're all dead because of me"

"Babe that's just not true. Chad made his own decisions in life. Emily said in the letter that no one blamed you. You can't do this to yourself partner"
"Then there's Jack….and what about here, in Hawaii Danno? What about Jenna and Laura Hills?"
"What about them Steve? Jenna was responsible for her own death. Hell, Jenna was responsible for you being tortured and almost killed by Wo-Fat"
"But I should have seen it coming"
"You are amazing Superman, but mind-reading is not one of your gifts. There is NO WAY you could have seen Jenna's deception, none of us suspected a thing"
"Laura died trying to warn me about Governor Jameson"
"Yes, yes she did. Steve… that was HER choice. You cannot hold yourself responsible for everybody else's actions in life! Before you mention Jack again, I'm going to repeat what I've said before. HE joined the SEAL's and HE knew the risks and the bottom line is, those bastards would have killed him. You gave him a chance to survive. This was NOT your fault buddy"

Steve stood up and moved closer to the water. Danny waited, giving the man time to compose himself before walking to stand next to him.

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Steve spoke softly, "Danny…..I can't let it happen again. I won't let it happen again"
"What are you talking about?"
"After Chad and Christina died and Emily left me I swore to myself I would never care for anyone like that again…..and then you came along. You're much more than a partner to me Danny, I love you like a brother, and Gracie…it's like she's my own. You are as special to me as Chad was. I would die to keep you two safe but Danny, I'm not willing to put you in danger. No more Danno…..no more. You wanted to know why? Why I took off without telling you? Why I made you think I was dead? I've dealt with a lot of shit in my life partner. I remember you saying once that I didn't have a 'fear gene' and that's pretty much true, but one thing scares me to death. I don't think I could ever survive having to tell Gracie that something happened to you"

The lump in Danny's throat was huge, "I'm so sorry..."
"You have nothing to be sorry for"
"I…I thought you didn't trust me?"
"Danno, I trust you with my life. There's no one I trust more than you"
Danny responded, "I feel the same about you, but I can't quit being a cop Steve. I know the risks and I accept them, just like you do. So what do you suggest we do? If you're going to try to keep me out of every dangerous situation that arises then we've got a problem. I'm good at what I do, you're good at what you do, but together we are great. I want nothing more than to stay with 5-0 and be your partner" Danny paused before adding, "Rachel quoted a poem to me the other day"

Steve interrupted him, "A 'poem' Daniel? Really?"
"Yes, yes a poem. Since we're both revealing our sensitive sides here, I'm going all out okay?"
Steve grinned, "Lay it on me babe"
Danny continued, "Today is life…..it is the only thing we can be sure of…make the most of it. Steve, you're right in saying that you've dealt with a lot of shit in your life but at least I finally understand your relationship with Catherine"

"What do you mean?"
"You not calling her your girlfriend…saying you two just have 'a thing'….. Steve, you can't be afraid to love buddy. Love is what makes everything we do worthwhile"
"I think it's probably time for me to give her a call"
"Good, I agree with you...…that's good. I need you to listen to me now. About Gracie...if God forbid something were to happen to me, I would want you to be the one to tell her and to comfort her. I would want you to guide her through life, to be her surrogate Father. No one in this world, other than me and her Mother of course, is more special to her than you are Steven. I am so grateful that she has you...it brings me peace and comfort"

They stood quietly for a couple of minutes before Steve said softly, "I don't want you to leave Danno, I need you. I'll try to change…I promise"
Danny turned to him smiling, "That's all I can ask for partner" He held out his arms and moving forward the two men embraced.

Danny felt Steve's body shake in his grasp and he asked, "Hey, are you alright?"
Steve's grip on Danny tightened as he responded, "I'm great partner….I'm great"
Danny kept a firm grasp on him until he felt Steve's body relax, "Let's get you inside now okay?"
Steve answered, "Yeah…..I'm pretty tired"
"Me too buddy"
"Danno…..thank you"
"That's what family's for brother"

******* More to follow, please let me know what you think! I hope you're enjoying! ********