Chapter 31
WARNING: angst, fluff and smut.
The French dialogues say the following (I am certain they are in the correct form or else I took four years of French for nothing.)
"Je ne comprend pour quoi le garçon n'est pas récupérée, Michael.", "Il a été une semaine depuis que c'est arrivé, pourquoi n'est-il pas mieux? On devrait appeler son médecin." - "I don't understand why the boy is not recovered yet, Michael.", "It has been a week since it happened, why isn't he better?"
"Je crois qu'il a besoin de plus de temps pour se donner du courage d'en parler, Lucifer, il n'a pas besoin d'un médecin. Il y a une certaine peur en lui qu'il provoque, j'en suis sûr." - "I believe he needs more time to gain the courage to speak of it, Lucifer, he does not require a doctor. There is a certain fear in him that causes it. I am sure."
…~)C*L(~…
What is love?
Oh, Baby, don't hurt me…
Don't hurt me no more.
Oh, I don't know why you're not there,
I give you my love but you don't care,
So what is right? What is wrong?
Give me a sign.
What is love?
~What Is Love by Haddaway.
And everything under the sun is in tune
But the sun is eclipsed by the moon.
There is no dark side of the moon really.
Matter of fact it's all dark.
~Eclipse by Pink Floyd.
The vibrations of the sound travelled throughout his chest as he hummed along the soft and ethereal voice dancing intertwined with the soft breeze from the vents warming the room, the hand gently caressing the hairs on his head soothed the flutter of anxiety in his stomach, his breathing calmed to a normal pace and his body relaxed into the arm around him.
"We've seen the secret things revealed by God and we heard what the angels had to say, should you go first or if you follow me, will you meet me in heaven someday?"the voice stopped once a broken sob was heard, his arms wrapped tightly around the small boy watching the tears fall one by one, there was a pang in his heart wishing he could stop the flow of the burning droplets from the him.
"Please don't go, don't leave me.." he spoke in a broken sob, Lucifer tightened his grip on Castiel closing his eyes as the pain set in.
"I'm not leaving you." he whispered burying his nose in Castiel's hair, he kept his eyes shut tightly keeping the tears building behind his eyelids from falling. Lucifer wished Michael was there for the moment, he wished he'd persuaded his brother further to stay and he'd take his place. He understood Castiel now, he could see the fear in his eyes, could sense the anxiety as he trembled in his arms, the horror of his thoughts he prayed went away.
"Je ne comprend pour quoi le garçon n'est pas récupérée, Michael." Lucifer sat on the window seat setting his eyes on the field outside watching the boys chase each other and for a moment he wished his younger brother was one of them. "Il a été une semaine depuis que c'est arrivé, pourquoi n'est-il pas mieux? On devrait appeler son médecin."
"Je crois qu'il a besoin de plus de temps pour se donner du courage d'en parler, Lucifer, il n'a pas besoin d'un médecin. Il y a une certaine peur en lui qu'il provoque, j'en suis sûr." Michael responded letting out a sigh as his fingers caressed Castiel's hair, his eyes set on Lucifer.
"You forgot I am able understand you." a small voice spoke before Lucifer could speak again, both men turned to see Castiel blinking at the wall.
"We thought you were asleep, Castiel." Michael stopped his hand as Castiel sat on the bed.
"I was until I heard voices, do not worry, I did not listen to your conversation fully." he forced a small smile.
"What exactly did you hear?" Lucifer frowned.
"About me." he lowered his gaze on his hands thinking of the things he'd heard, they deserved at least the truth to ease their worries. "I will tell you." he whispered, Lucifer stood up walking towards the bed sitting on the corner by Castiel's feet.
"Are you sure?" Castiel nodded at Lucifer. "Okay, when you're ready." Castiel took a deep breath composing himself, his hands trembled and he intertwined his fingers tightly in an attempt to stop them.
"Every time I close my eyes.. He's there, I sense him." he sighed to calm the flutter in his stomach followed by bile rising up his throat, "There is nothing but darkness around me yet I know he is there…" he paused blinking several times as his eyes became more humid than normal, "I feel it nigh me, it holds…" he paused, "Its hands wrap around my neck… and he laughs," Castiel wrapped his arms around himself tightly fixing his eyes on the mattress, a cold shiver travelled throughout his body making his skin tense as the hairs stood on end, "It laughs as it tells me it will murder my father, it tightens its hands around my neck with such inhuman force." he clenched his fists on the sides where his arms remained around himself, the pressure in his chest built stronger seeking release, he meant to sigh yet a sob to escaped from his lips unable to stop as they kept overtaking him, Michael soothed his back until he felt able to speak again though he felt the bitterness on his tongue and the salt around his lips. "I can't breathe, I feel death, I see myself dying as it laughs threatening to kill my- my father." Castiel raised his gaze towards his brothers as the warm droplets rolled down to his chin dripping one by one on the sheets, his body trembled, the apparent horror in his eyes broke their hearts yet Michael knew not to speak yet. "Michael." he whispered between a sob, Michael closed his eyes feeling a warmth in his chest yet it ached understanding Castiel's fear, the thought of having lost not only his mother, not only his father but also the only other person who had become most important to him.
"I am not going anywhere, Castiel, never. I promise." Michael wrapped his arms around the young boy, for a moment Lucifer had a slight jealous feeling yet it disappeared as fast as it came knowing the weight his brother carried on his shoulders. Castiel swallowed his tears feeling the bile in his throat, tasting it in his mouth from the bitterness in his chest and it ached wanting nothing to be allowed to fall, Michael did not let go of him for a long time, the clock ticked on the wall, the pounding of the boy's heart was heard in the silence of the room until Raphael knocked on the door quietly.
"Zachariah needs to speak with you. He is downstairs." he spoke softly taking the sight before him without making a remark.
"I shall be there soon." Raphael nodded and left shutting the door behind him as gentle as possible.
"I should go instead, he needs you here." Lucifer broke the silence fixing his eyes on Castiel who simply stared at the wall as Michael held him.
"You know how Zachariah is, Lucifer, he will not do anything unless it is me who he speaks to." Michael sighed, he glanced at Castiel and back to his brother. "Castiel, I need to leave for a while, will you be alright with Lucifer?"
"Will you return soon?." Castiel spoke without moving his gaze from the wall.
"I shall do my best, I promise." he smiled slightly at the boy who did not notice it.
Michael stood up and left taking one last glance at the boy now lying on the mattress with a blank stare towards the ceiling; Lucifer sat still on the edge of the bed, his mind was blank as he stared out the window, the sun began to set sending its golden streaks throughout the sky reaching the wall behind the bed where he sat, the silence was uneasy and he sensed Castiel becoming more and more anxious as the seconds, minutes and long hour passed ticking on the clock on the wall and he wished nothing but destroy the machine. Castiel sat up resting his back on the headboard, his arms wrapped around his legs folded against his chest gazing at the sheets crumpled covering his feet.
"Would you sing? I always did love your voice." he finally spoke slightly startling the older brother from his trance, he glanced at Castiel now staring at him with hope in his eyes.
"Of course, what would you like me to sing?" he gave the boy a small smile watching Castiel move closer to him.
"Anything, as you wish." he rested his head on his brother's shoulder, in return Lucifer wrapped his arm around the boy and his other found its way to caress his hair knowing Michael did it to calm him.
…~)M*Z(~…
"Michael, I was beginning to think you did not need of my assistance after all." Zachariah, a man of fifty years of age stood in the room facing the window, his balding head adding to the wise yet smug appearance he portrayed, there was an air of pride to him as he walked in those shiny shoes seeming to have been never worn and that expensive black suit, flawless without crumples, he wore a confident smile on his face which intimidated most yet Michael did not fear this man.
"Uncle, I am grateful that have given me your valuable time." Michael walked in closing the door behind him proceeding to shake Zachariah's hand.
"Of course." the older man smirked sitting on the sofa in the office. "How may I be of help?"
"As you perhaps may have heard from any of us-" Michael was interrupted.
"Yes, yes, my daughters (Ruby and Meg) informed me of the incident, quite unfortunate I must say. What is exactly you ask of me?" he leaned forward raising his brow at Michael.
"You have a great influence over the media and are able to persuade them, would it be much to ask if you could recover the photos that were taken of Castiel? I do not want father to see them, he is in a delicate condition and it could affect him hindering his recovery." Zachariah pursed his lips fixing his eyes on the floor. "This was found at the place of the incident, the owner of this is Jesse Bishop."
"Jesse Bishop, you say?" he narrowed his eyes at the younger man, Michael nodded with a small 'yes', "I know who he works for." he smirked with a hint of mischief which Michael noticed yet he knew it was a good thing. "Do not worry about anything, Michael. I will take care of everything."
"Thank you." he stood up with Zachariah heading towards the door, they shook hands briefly before leaving the office.
"How is Castiel, I forgot to ask." the man looked up at Michael.
"There was a slight progress today, he will be alright as time passes, perhaps a week more."
"I hope he recovers soon." his lips tightened into a thin line as he looked at the floor.
"Thank you." Michael nodded.
…~)S*G(~…
"I don't want to talk about it, Sam. Can't you just forget it? It was an accident, okay? There's nothing to it!" Gabriel stood before the younger boy, his hands trembled at his sides, his face flushed and heated with anger, embarrassment and shame, the pound of his heart loud in his head as he fought his deepest emotions, fighting to hide them from the one he wished knew yet he was aware becoming something so sudden would shatter any efforts he'd made, any progress in the friendship and it would mean nothing. Nothing.
"No, Gabriel, there was something. I know, okay?" Sam clenched his fists at his sides as the tears in his eyes built, "Don't lie to me, please." he spoke softly, so quietly it broke Gabriel's heart yet he chose to ignore it. "It was no accident, I did it on purpose, I wanted to." there was silence as the older boy stood gazing at the floor, "I still want to… please, let's just try this."
"Sam…" Gabriel let out a breath he was oblivious of holding in, "This… this is not going to work, you're younger than me, you're my best friend's brother and-" he turned around burying his fingers in his hair.
"Please!" Sam stomped his foot on the floor as he felt the tears burn down to his chin blurring his vision yet he could see Gabriel's image ahead. "That's bullshit, Gabe, your brother is dating my brother and there is only a two year age difference." he wiped the tears with his sleeve. "Why are you making excuses? I know you like me." Gabriel tensed in his place fixing his eyes on the floor.
"No, Sam, I don't." his monotone voice cut through the younger boy like a dagger in his chest. "You're like a friend to me. Nothing more."
"You're a bad liar." Sam mocked out a laugh. "I don't give a damn what excuses you come up with, I'm not giving up."
"Why are you insisting, Sam? It was just a fucking kiss because of the moment, you don't even like me! I don't like you like that! Let's just forget it happened." Gabriel stood before Sam face to face, his chest rose and fell as the anger within grew stronger, his heart pounding still.
"Stop lying." Sam spoke quietly allowing more tears to fall, Gabriel could feel the younger boy's hot breath on his lips. "Stop lying." he repeated closing the distance between them giving no time to Gabriel to move away as his lips met the other's just as it had happened the moment they stood outside hiding from the other teens; they ran through the bushes as the sun set, they ran faster and faster away from the eyes of the others, they ran free and wild as fast as their feet would give feeling the wind dry the droplets of sweat forming on their foreheads. Gabriel stopped once he felt his knees become weaker and weaker with each step until he bent supporting his torso with his hands on his knees as he panted, a laugh escaped from him feeling the adrenaline, the euphoria inside of him, the building pressure in his chest wanting to keep going non-stop yet his limbs prevented him; he heard a laugh close to him and turned his head to see a pair of hazel eyes staring at him.
"What?" he smiled at the boy.
"That was fun. We ran too far though." he panted.
"I know, I didn't want to stop but my legs." Gabriel laughed.
"Your face is really red." Sam grinned staring at the boy.
"You should see yours." they panted standing close to each others, their eyes turned towards the sky as it became less and less bright and a dark blanket overtook the south west, their hands brushed slightly as they stood side to side. Gabriel admired the beauty of the sky, its colours seeming to pour by a hand above creating a beautiful thing just for them, for humans to have as a gift from God. Sam watched the golden streaks hit the older boy's face, his eyes seemed brighter and his pupils so small protecting from the light, his lips so soft, shimmering as the tip of his tongue wet them. He was beautiful, a breathtaking image and he wondered how it was human, a human before him. Like a ghost possessed his body, his feet moved closer towards the seem-to-be-ethereal being taking the sides of his face in his hands as his lips landed upon the older boy's, there was it again, the flutter in his stomach he'd felt before, the familiar feel of those lips moving against his, that same taste, that same texture, the same feeling he'd felt from previous, from a dream. It was from a dream.
He opened his eyes suddenly feeling two hands push him away, he stopped himself from falling arranging his feet on the ground with agility, his eyes looked up to see Gabriel slowly walk away as if he'd committed a sin and he ran without stopping. Sam felt his heart in his throat as he watched the boy become smaller in the distance, his mind racing through thoughts of what had happened, what he'd done, why did he kiss back, why did the flutter not leave, why did he ache? Without any further thought he followed after Gabriel as fast as he could until he reached the house going through the backdoor, climbing the stair as if for dear life, turning left to the last room in the hall. He stopped facing the door as he panted, his hand reaching for the knob, he could hear the sound of footsteps inside the room.
"Why did you run away?" Sam spoke standing behind Gabriel who refused to look at him, Gabriel did not respond, the silence seemed tense angering the younger boy. "Why did you run away, Gabriel?!"
"What the hell was that?" he still did not turn to face Sam, he closed his eyes knowing that they betrayed him.
"It was a kiss."
"I'm not stupid, why did you do it?"
"I don't know exactly." Sam whispered yet not feeling regret.
"Let's say it was an accident then." they were both silent listening as their panting became less and less until Sam walked closer towards Gabriel turning to see his face.
"It wasn't. You know it wasn't."
"I need to take a shower. Excuse me." Gabriel moved away from the younger boy heading towards the door yet Sam grabbed his arm.
"We need to talk about this, Gabriel." he refused to let go of his arm yet Gabriel made no effort to pull away, he turned his body facing Sam.
"I don't want to talk about it, Sam. Can't you just forget it? It was an accident, okay? There's nothing to it!"
He felt the warmth of strong arms wrap around his waist pulling his body closer in desperation, need, comfort to the ache; their lips moved slowly relishing the warmth, the emotion throughout, the dulling ache in their beings finding peace for once, and he understood what had been that sensation when he'd stood too close to him, when he'd received a smile just for him, the look in his eyes as he stared at him in no other manner, different from how he looked at others, the emotion portrayed in those amber jewels as he held out his hand, 'they're my favourite, I want you to have them.' that smile had just been his. For Sam only.
They gasped for air in the silence of the room until the young boy felt the warmth of droplets fall on his shoulder, he turned his eyes with sadness as he embraced Gabriel tightly, the boy quietly wept shattering to pieces like a glass on the wall, falling pieces around the room, it was broken, so broken.
"Hey Jude, don't make it bad, take a sad song and make it better." he hummed softly feeling each droplet taint his shirt.
…~)D*C(~…
"Hey, how are you feeling?" he smiled gently at those blue eyes staring into his with longing. Dean sat on the window seat with facing Castiel, Lucifer had left the room and Michael still had not returned yet the younger boy felt calmer when his boyfriend arrived. They left the curtains open allowing the moon to peek through the glass at them, the stars twinkled above, the moonlight hit gently their faces mixing with the light of the room.
"I miss you, Dean." he said quietly placing a hand over the older boy's.
"I'm here now." he intertwined their fingers, their lips turned into a smile not breaking the eye contact. He felt the warmth throughout his body as they became softer and softer, the pupils in those cerulean irises growing to a medium size, the eyelashes gently dropping relaxed, the smile hidden in the shape of the eyes, the soft features on that pale face, the gentle smile tugging on those lips that he'd missed lately, the gentle caress of his thumb across his hand. All for Dean.
"Will you stay with me tonight?" Castiel leaned closer resting his chin on the older boy's shoulder without letting go of his hand, Dean placed a soft kiss on the side of the boy's neck and felt the smile against his shoulder.
"If Michael says I can." he smiled.
"I think he will allow you to, I have not seen you much lately." Castiel sighed relieving the pressure in his chest.
"I hope so. I'm going crazy without you, Cas." Castiel moved turning to see Dean into his eyes, the sincerity in those forest-green orbs made his heart speed, he closed the distance between his lips and his boyfriend's sharing a slow and gentle kiss; how they'd missed this touch, the electrifying sensation it sent throughout their lips to their fingertips with just a gentle touch, the pleasuring ache in their hearts from the profusion of love. He felt the gentle touch of fingertips on his elbows as his lips moved against the smaller ones tasting their sweetness, his hands moved to pull the slimmer body closer to his until Castiel was resting the weight of his body against Dean's. The gentle touch of the eyelashes against his cheek tingled on his face, he heat from the body transferring to his, the scent of Castiel drugging him, the simple touch, the simplicity of being with him overwhelmed him making the aching in his heart stronger. And he knew just how much then he loved this boy.
"Umm.." they were interrupted by a voice in the room, Michael stood by the door with a silver platter in his hands. "I apologise for the intrusion." he blinked several times frowning slightly as he tried to hide the blush from his cheeks.
"Michael." Castiel smiled widely, "Do not worry about it, I am glad to see you returned."
"I promised, did I not?" he smiled back. "I brought you supper. For both, Lucifer said Dean was with you." he placed the platter on the table close to the window. Castiel glanced at it as well as Dean, both smiled as they saw a large piece of pie amongst the other uninteresting items.
"DIBS!" both said at the same time, Michael tilted his head slightly narrowing his eyes at them in confusion. The boys laughed as they turned to see the expression on Michael.
"We'll share it." Dean said and Castiel smiled in response.
"Very well, I will be downstairs." Michael shook his head slightly and turned to leave giving them a small smile.
"I have rather a small appetite, you can eat if you would like, Dean." Castiel said leaning against the wall on the window seat.
"None of that, c'mere." said Dean pulling Castiel towards him, "Open up." he held a spoon with warm soup towards the younger boy.
"You are going to force feed me?" Castiel rolled his eyes.
"If I have to." he grinned, Castiel sighed with a smile and opened his mouth taking the spoon in.
"He used to make this when I was younger, it is quite special." Castiel smiled tasting the warm liquid in his mouth differentiating the different spices, a reminiscent smile formed on his lips as he felt the liquid travel down his throat. "I will have more of that, please." Dean smiled widely taking another spoonful of the soup from bowl on the platter on the table. The smile never left his lips, not when Castiel smiled at him the way he did, not when he spilled soup on himself, not when Castiel ended up eating most of the supper, not when Castiel ate the last piece of pie and not when Castiel fell asleep in his arms as they stared up the stars resting against the wall on the window seat.
…~)B*Y(~…
A groan escaped his lips feeling pressure of teeth on his collarbone, his lips parted slightly as his head lifted up, the warm droplets fell one by one like rain on his face trailing down his body to the cool tiles, his body relaxed as the gentle fingertips travelled from his waist down to his hips, caressing with awe the soft skin, the beauty of this body as if sculpted by the gods themselves, the impeccable form of each part; the firmness of muscle throughout, the soft, pink lips calling for attention, the blue irises with those dilated pupils staring into his, the blond locks falling on the forehead as water dripped from above.
He captured the younger boy's bottom lips between his teeth enjoying the soft moan escape from his boyfriend's lips, his hands moved gently to Balthazar's inner thighs reaching his member; he let out a needy moan as the electrifying heat reached his fingertips, his toes making them curl against the wet tiles. His hands moved reaching for Bae-Yung's hips with force, the heat of their bodies combined as the older boy worked his hands carefully pleasuring both; Balthazar trailed the tip of his tongue down his lover's jaw reaching the curve of his neck placing a soft kiss, his hands feeling, memorising with each touch the boy's body, admiring his perfect beauty, enjoying as the beautiful sounds from both combined made their hearts ache with pleasure, the feel of intensifying heat threatening to burst from their bodies. Their breathing sped with each stroke, faster and faster until it overwhelmed both yet they treasured the moment more than the physical pleasure that the emotion they shared was love truly as they reached their climax with each other's names escaping from those lips.
"I love you." he whispered resting his chin on the older boy's shoulder as they leant against the wall still the droplets falling on their skin washing their bodies.
"I love you." he whispered back feeling the warmth still in his heart and his body gaining strength. They wrapped their arms around each other standing still allowing time to pass as it willed, allowing the water to run throughout their bodies, allowing the ache of love grow as much as it would because it was for them only. Only them and nothing more.
…~)A*N(~…
Thank you for reading :D
I can't write smut very well kldjfalksdjf I'll try though.
I will explain in future chapters why Sam did what he did ;b they won't establish a proper relationship so sudden though (remember what Gabriel said).
Also, Sabriel in the beginning will be a very innocent relationship since Sam is still a young boy (Balthazar and Bae-Yung are older) and Destiel will be like Sabriel until they reach a more mature age -_- I will murder Dean if he touches little Castiel. LOL. But seriously, he better not touch him yet e_e