Over the next two days Steve left his room only to use the bathroom. It was very difficult for Danny to let him be, to give him the space he was asking for, but he did it. As long as Steve responded to his knocks and was eating…he would stay out.

Kono called him on the second day, "Danny, I'm worried about him. Should he be left alone?"
"I'm worried too Kono but I want to give him the space he needs"
"He's depressed…he needs help"
"Kono, I've talked to the Doctor. His behavior is not abnormal. Depression is a symptom of withdrawal"
"God, we feel so helpless. Especially with not being there"
"I know, I feel helpless too. Trust me, it's no easier being here. If he doesn't come out of the room by morning, I'll push back with him"
"Okay. I'll talk to Catherine and Chin, please keep us posted"
"I will…..bye"

At about seven that evening Danny heard the shower turn on upstairs. Taking that as a good sign he was even more relieved as the shower ran much longer than Steve's typical 'three minute Navy shower' At a little before eight o'clock Steve came down the stairs and made his way straight to the kitchen, asking as he passed, "Do you want a beer Danno?"
"Uh yeah, sure" Picking up the remote from the coffee table he shut off the TV and waited for Steve's return.
Steve returned and as he took the beer from him Danny asked, "Buddy, I really don't think you should be drinking, the junk is still in your system"
"I'm only having one, it'll be okay"

As Steve sat down on the couch next to him, Danny noticed his facial wounds were healing nicely but his eyes were sunken and hollow and dark rings encircled them.
"You look exhausted babe"
Steve tipped his beer saying, "Maybe this will help me sleep, I haven't been doing much of that"
"Are the pains still bad?"
"Yeah, but the cravings have subsided a bit"
"That's good"
"Danny, thanks for giving me space….I've been doing a lot of thinking"
"Anything you'd like to share?"

Danny watched his friend closely as he took a long drink and then began to talk softly, "Years ago Joe and I were sharing a few beers one night. We had just buried one of our men, Kevin Forrester. He had three kids Danny…..three babies, a four year old, a two year old and the youngest had just turned one right before we left on the mission. Two blonde haired, blue eyed beautiful little girls who idolized their daddy, and a baby boy who would never even remember him. Joe was on his third marriage at that time and I've never forgotten what he said to me that night…"
"What's that?"
"He told me that's why he had never had children. The thought of dying didn't scare him, but the thought of leaving behind a wife and children terrified him. Children needed their fathers. He told me that his first two marriages had ended because his wives had wanted children and he just couldn't do it. He told me the smartest thing I could to do would be to never marry. You know what Danny, he's right"

"So you're going to let a man who's had four failed marriages tell you never to marry?"
Steve chuckled, "Fair enough…..but buddy I've seen too many good men, great men die. I've held them in my arms as they've taken their last breaths and every one of them who had kids, EVERY one of them Danny….their dying thoughts were of their wives and their kids, and of what would happen to them. I don't want to die worrying about those things"

Danny sighed deeply, "Steven…for a smart man, sometimes you can be really stupid do you know that?"
Steve grinned, "Tell me about it, I'm listening"

"Now don't get me wrong babe, I respect Joe greatly but that's about the worst advice he ever could have given you. Steve, what is life about if you don't love?"
"But I do love. I love Mary and you and Grace. I love Cath and Joe and Kono and Chin"

"And I can speak for EVERY one of them in saying that they all love you dearly but that's not what I'm talking about and you know it. Steve, you can't be afraid to give your heart to someone because of what 'might' happen. This is about Emily isn't it?"

Steve sat forward on the couch, placing his beer onto the coffee table, "I see Chad's eyes every night. I failed him in every way possible. Why couldn't it have been me Danny? Why? They're dead because of me. No matter what you say….they're all dead because of me. Chad…..Christina…their baby girl"

Danny knew his words meant nothing to his distraught partner at this moment, but he had to say it "You're wrong Steve. Chad died and that sucks man. He was a hero and he didn't deserve to die and Christina sure in the hell didn't deserve to be dealt that hand. She wasn't strong enough to handle it Steve, but that is not your fault. There is no way you could have seen that coming"

"But I should have Danny"
"How? Tell me how? From what you've told me even Emily and their parents didn't see it coming"
Steve's elbows were on his knees, his hands on his face as he said quietly, "I need to see Emily…I have to know that she's doing okay and that she's happy"

"Do you want to call her first?"
"No. Danny, if I'm ever going to move on…..I've got to see her"
"Okay, fine. Do you even know where she is?"
"About five years ago I….I was thinking about her a lot. I tried to reach her but I couldn't find her. I called her brother and he told me that she was engaged and still living in San Diego. I decided not to try to reach her and her brother promised me he wouldn't tell her I called. I need closure though Danny….."

"Do you even know her name?"
"Yeah, Emily Brenner"
"Are you going to tell Catherine?"
"Yes. I should have told her about Emily from the beginning and I'm relieved that she knows everything now. I'm not going to keep this from her"
"That's good babe. When you're up to it, you and I will fly to San Diego and find Emily and you'll do what you need to do. You deserve happiness Steve. Catherine loves you very much…...whatever you do, don't push her away"

Steve grinned before adding, "I won't Danny. Hey, is there anything decent on TV tonight?"
"I was going to watch Lethal Weapon"
"Oh yeah, I haven't seen that in years, sounds good. They kind of remind me of us you know. Danny Glover, the straight arrow cop and Mel Gibson's crazy cop...yep, I'm a lot like Glover..."

Danny laughed, choking on his beer as he responded, "You're really something else you know that?"
Steve smiled, simply saying "Thanks Danno"

Fifteen minutes into the movie Steve was sleeping soundly on the couch. Danny covered him with a blanket and then lying back in the recliner next to him, he to slept.

5050505050505050505050505050

Early the next morning Steve called Catherine asking her to come to the house. Danny had agreed with Steve, with slight hesitation, to leave the house for a while so the two could be alone.
"I'm good Danny, I promise…..please don't worry"
Steve chuckled as Danny responded, "Yeah, sure….don't worry….I've heard that before"

Danny met Catherine at the front door when she arrived and they embraced.
"How is he?"
"He's doing okay. He's opening up and that's good" He took her hands in his, "I'm going to leave you two alone, are you okay with that?"
She squeezed his hands and leaning forward she kissed his cheek, "Of course I am Danny"
"Will you call me?"
"Yes dear, don't worry"
Danny chuckled as he turned and left the house, "You two are definitely meant for each other…..he's out on the deck"
She smiled as she watched him walk away and then taking a deep breath she turned and went to join Steve.

Steve stood as she came onto the deck. As she neared he pulled her to him, kissing her passionately.
As their lips parted she said breathlessly, "Wow…it appears that you're feeling better"
He responded by kissing her again, with even more passion. As their lips parted he brushed his fingers gently across her bruised face, bruises caused by the same hands that now so tenderly caressed them. He watched her carefully, watching as her eyes looked lovingly, lustfully into his, her now healing upper lip quivering under his touch. Steve had been worried about how she would react, afraid that she may show hesitation, fear. To his great relief, he saw nothing other than love, passion and desire…the same feelings he felt for her. As tears of joy welled in his eyes he pulled her to his chest and hugged her tightly, feeling immense comfort from the loving embrace he received in return.

They stood in the warmth of the Hawaiian sun folding each other for several minutes before Steve whispered softly, his voice choked with emotion, "Cath we need to talk baby"
She took his hand and they moved to the bench. Sitting, she turned towards him never releasing the grasp she maintained on his hand. With both her hands holding his, she gently ran her soft fingertips along the long, tender scar. She said nothing, she simply waited for him…..

"Cath, I love you. I love you so very much, please know that"
"Baby I do know that. I've never questioned your love, not for one minute" As tears slid down his cheeks she continued, "Steve, it's okay…..whatever it is, just say it honey"

"I've told you everything about Emily, everything….I promise…but….."
She squeezed his hand tighter with one hand as she reached up and brushed the tears from his cheek with the other, "Go on….."
"Cath, I can't move on with us until…..Cath I have to see her. I have to know that that she's healthy and happy. I have to apologize to her"
"Steve, her sister's death was not your fault. Nobody blames you"

"Maybe…but when we parted…looking back now honey, I know we were both still in shock. I loved her Cath and I'd be lying if I didn't say that I still do love her. She'll always have a special place in my heart. But she's my past Catherine. YOU are my present and I hope and pray that YOU will be my future"

"I love you Steven McGarrett. Go to her. Talk to her and do what you need to do to get closure. I love you, I trust you and I will be here for you when you get back"
Placing his thumb and forefinger on her chin he again kissed her, but this time it was soft and tender. He then said simply, "Thank you"
Catherine took his hand and following her, they moved up the stairs and into the bedroom, closing the door behind them.

******* Much more come, thanks for all the reads but I haven't gotten much feedback on the last few chapters? I hope you're still enjoying and I promise the next couple chapters will pick up in intensity ********