A few days later, James was finally released from hospital. That's how he found himself walking off base, the midday sun warming his shoulders as he headed toward a strip of bars nearby. How Shepard had gotten security to let her past the checkpoint alone, he didn't know. For someone who claimed to be stupid at anything that didn't involve biotics or shooting, she got around electronics too easily.

He'd barely seen Shepard since that night in the shipyards, but every time he asked how she was feeling, she'd give him a 'fine' and change the topic. Maybe she was just worried about being overhead by anyone in the shared ward, but it felt more like she was shutting him out again. It'd only been a few days, though. She'd come around and talk about things. Eventually. He hoped.

He stopped as the GPS on his omnitool beeped. He looked up at the unassuming sign above a bar door and walked inside. Unlike some of the dingy bars around, Shepard had chosen one that opened out onto a garden—a little slice of greenery that wasn't perched on top of a roof. He ordered a beer and took just the bottle, waving his hand at the chilled beer glass that was offered.

As he walked out into the garden, he spotted Shepard's bright red hair. She was sitting with her back to him, her head bent forward and her arms resting on the table. Her dress blues were spotless once again, the gold thread in stripes on her shoulders glinting as they caught the sun.

"Hola, bonita. Puedo sentarme aquí?" he asked as he rounded the little table.

Shepard squinted up at him and raised a hand to shade her eyes from the sun. "Just because my translator is back on, doesn't mean you always have to speak in another language." Her smile took any bite out of her words.

"But Spanish is sexier, no?" he said, taking a swig of his beer.

Shepard chuckled. "Hate to break it to you, James, but simply asking if you can sit is not sexy in any language."

"You're a hard woman to please," he said with a grin and slid into the wooden seat across from her.

Shepard winked in reply. "I guess Anderson gave you a dressing down now that you're out of hospital?"

"Officially, I got a reprimand and a black mark on my file. Unauthorised use of force, and a bunch of other things with big words." He shrugged and leaned against the back of the chair, giving her a cock-sure grin. "Unofficially, Anderson shook my hand. I should have gotten a Star of Terra or something for saving The Commander Shepard."

Shepard rolled her eyes but her lips twitched up at the corners. "You got shot."

James pretended to be offended, a frown between his eyebrows and his hand spread across the middle of his chest.

"Hey, I still walked away without help. We'd be in a whole different heap of shit if I wasn't ther–" He coughed before he could finish his sentence and looked away. He didn't want to be the one to bring up what'd happened in the shipyards and ruin their light-hearted joking with a confrontation.

"You're right," she said, subdued, and James looked back at her with his eyebrows raised. She had her eyes fixed on her half-empty glass, a finger tracing the rim. "I never thanked you for that. Killing the batarian wouldn't have helped anyone, least of all Aaron."

Her voice hitched as she said her cousin's name, but she must have emptied her body of tears already. He didn't know if he could handle seeing her cry again anyway. In the warehouse, when he'd first noticed the tracks down Shepard's cheeks, he'd wanted to stomp on the batarian's face.

"When we were on our way to the shipyard, I thought that I would be able to control myself if I were in your situation. But being in that room, listening to the batarian…" James shook his head as he remembered how the batarian's growling voice had tested his self-control. "If I were you, I would have shot her the first time she mentioned Aaron, and not stop shooting until the heatsink ran out."

"I wouldn't have let you," she said, finally looking up. The ferocity in her gaze told him that she wouldn't have just tried to talk him down; she would have dragged him by his collar out of the warehouse and thrown him back into the shuttle. "Revenge doesn't soothe pain. Only time does."

"And beer."

Shepard snorted. "Lots of beer."

"To Aaron," said James, raising his bottle.

"And to you," said Shepard, raising her glass. "Because if you weren't there, I'd be in the brig right now."

James sighed melodramatically. "I guess your heroicness is rubbing off on me."

"I have no idea how. We haven't done any rubbing off."

His mouth dropped open and Shepard took a sip of her drink, quirking an amused eyebrow at him over the rim of her glass.

"That's the first dirty joke you've ever made," he said, beer forgotten. "For a while, I was wondering whether you really were a marine."

Shepard laughed as she put her drink down again. She opened her mouth, probably to say something about his suitability as a soldier, when both their omnitools beeped in tandem. James pulled up the message on his omnitool at the same time as Shepard. He scanned the single sentence three times, just to make sure he'd read it right.

The batarian hanged herself in her cell last night. - Anderson

James looked up from his omnitool to Shepard's face. She looked as shocked as he felt.

"Maybe she thought she wouldn't survive an Earth prison," said James, shutting his omnitool.

"No. She just wanted to be with her family again," said Shepard, shaking her head as she picked up her drink again. "To the lost and fallen. Lest we forget."

She took a drink and closed her eyes, slumping in her seat and sighing. James wished he could brush the away the weight of everything she carried on her shoulders. Even with what the batarian had done to her cousin, Shepard understood. Perhaps she'd contemplated dying in the hopes of seeing her family too.

He reached across the table and slid his fingers across her cheek and cupped it in the palm of his hand. She leaned into the touch and opened her eyes. It was like the first time he'd seen her vulnerable, not counting after her nightmares, and this time she didn't try to hide anything from him. He was thunderstruck that Shepard had let him past her walls at all.

"And to the living," he said, holding her gaze.

"And to the living." Shepard smiled, the first happy one he'd seen on her. She rested her hand on his and turned her face to lightly kiss his palm. "Death can wait. I'm not done with you yet, Lieutenant."

The End

A/N: Thank you for reading all the way to the end! This was a massive undertaking - 30k+ words in six weeks. It's been a steep learning curve but loads of fun. Thank you to anyone who faves, reviews, recommends to their friends or simply even reads this fic :)

Again, thanks to dismalniece, without whom this story would be a steaming pile of crap, and thanks to toxichedgie, without whom this story may have floundered since her art was an inspiration to keep going.

Edit 17/9/2013: If you're interested, continue Shepard and James' story in the sequel, The Good War!