Years later
He was supposed to be better wasn't he? That had been the whole point of all of this. He'd left to come back better. He was supposed to train hard so he wouldn't get left behind. But he'd stayed exactly the same. He still couldn't compare to the others. Rin slammed his fist into the wet tiled floor. How could this happen? He ground his teeth together. He heard someone climbing out of the pool behind him. He refused to move.
"Rin…?" Haruka asked behind him.
Everything had just come easy to him, hadn't it? Haru had always been good at swimming. The dark-haired male had always been part of the water. Rin had hoped that with practice and training he would be a match. Haruka didn't even swim for a goal. How could someone so carefree, who barely even trained, be so much better?
The smell of chlorine was making him sick. His chest felt compressed and he couldn't take a deep breath. The sound of water splashing against the edge of the pool irritated him. As water rolled down his bare arms, he pulled himself off the moist floor.
His goal seemed so far away now. Pools weren't what they used to be for him. It wasn't fun anymore. He wanted to be the best in Japan but he couldn't even beat a kid from his middle school.
"Rin I-", Haru started.
Rin spun around with the most intense expression he'd ever felt on his face. Words came to mind but he couldn't speak. His lips parted for a moment, then closed quickly. Haru was looking at him like some kind of lost puppy. Pity was almost emanating from them. He would never accept it. He had lost fair and square. Trying his best just wasn't good enough. His dreams of being a professional swimmer seemed to drift further away.
The truth was, he'd stopped swimming competitively a while ago. Maybe if he could've beat Haru this last time...But there wasn't even a chance for him. He strode quickly to the locker room.
"I have to change".
Rin walked out of the locker room hoping Haru wouldn't follow him. He didn't want to face his old friend. Confronting him would just make the hurt worse. But Haruka was following him of course.
"Rin, why're you acting like this?"
Rin snapped.
"I'm done. I'm done!" he almost screamed at Haruka before calming a bit. "I'm done swimming…"
Haru stood there looking through him like he always had. Looking down on him was more like it. He was never going to be good enough, and the sooner he accepted that, the sooner this pain would go away. He turned on his heel and ran down the hallway and out the door. His duffel bag slammed against the side of his thigh as he kept a steady pace all the way back to their old middle school. His throat felt like it was closing as he struggled to catch his breath.
He doubled over, his hands on his knees. Much to his annoyance, his back slid off his shoulder and onto the ground. He swore and kneeled down to pick it up. As he reached for it, he lost his balance and landed on his butt. He sat there not bothering to stand. A hot tear rolled down his cheek. Looking to his side he noticed he was under the same tree in the garden where he'd last hugged Makoto. How was he supposed to face him now? He looked down at the little bracelet Mako had given him when they were younger. The string had worn, but the small charm had remained the same.
"Rin-chan!"
Rin instantly recognized the voice of the one person he didn't want to see him now. He looked up to see Makoto smiling down at him. When the other boy noticed his tears, his expression became pained. He dropped to his knees.
"Rin, what happened?"
This only made things worse. He hadn't seen Makoto in almost 2 years and now the other boy had slipped back into his motherly role. But now it irritated Rin, it reminded him of Haru's pity.
"Nothing", he almost growled.
Makoto tilted his head to the side.
"Rin-chan…"
"Don't call me that!" Rin got to his feet picking up his bag. "I'm not a child".
If he could just get out of this...The bracelet on his wrist burned. Unclasping the hook Rin shoved it into his pocket.
"What happened to you…?" Makoto asked with a sadder face.
Great. Now he was gonna cry too right? According to Haruka, Makoto, Nagisa, and him were still swimming on the swim team. They were still getting better without him.
"Tch...nothing happened, its just annoying that you still use -chan", he put both of his hands into his pockets.
"You're a bad liar Rin-chan", Makoto frowned at him.
He always saw right through him. A cold wind blew between the two and Rin's scarf whipped up towards his face. The sun was setting and the orange color to the leafs hinted that fall was coming soon. Makoto got to his feet and brushed off his knees.
"You didn't tell me you'd be coming back. I missed you", he smiled sadly.
Rin felt his heart beat faster. Makoto had...missed him? It was strange to feel a reciprocated feeling. When he was gone, he'd thought of Makoto all the time...Along with the others. But whenever he felt down, he would look at Mako's bracelet and tell himself he would come back better. But he hadn't.
"That's weird isn't it? You could've just sent me a letter or something", Rin shrugged.
"Ah...you're right" Makoto replied quickly nodding his head. "How long are you going to be here?"
"Just for the holidays"
"Oh…" Makoto nodded. "So...you're not staying?" Rin noticed a small redness to Mako's cheeks. He was probably just cold.
"No", Rin muttered.
Makoto's face fell. A small pain flashed in Rin's chest. It had always bothered him when Makoto was sad. His green eyes always dimmed to a cloudy dark green. With another sigh, Rin pulled his hands out of his pockets and motioned towards him. Makoto's face lightened a bit and he rushed over to hug Rin tightly in his arms. Rin almost fell over but steadied himself. Returning the hug, he noticed how warm Mako was. He smelled so familiar…When Makoto pulled away, he was smiling brightly.
"What?" Rin asked.
"Rin-chan smells like peaches", he chuckled.
Rin guessed something never did change. He slid his fingers through his wet hair.
"It covers up the smell of the chlorine", he paused. "And drop the -chan".
"Wait, Rin-cha...you were just swimming?" Makoto asked. "Probably with Haru right?"
It was like a slap to the face. Haru….always talking about Haruka. What was he expecting? They'd been childhood friends since forever. The warm feeling in his chest was gone. He was probably the only one thinking about Makoto so much when he was gone. He couldn't even remember why.
"I don't swim anymore", he replied quickly meeting Mako's green eyes.
Makoto shifted his weight to one leg a bit confused. He was obviously a bit confused. When they were younger swimming was all Rin talked about.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't compete anymore", Rin repeated.
How was he supposed to say he'd given up on his dreams?
"So you wouldn't even swim with me?"
Rin dropped his gaze.
"I just don't swim in competitions".
"Y'know, its better if you just tell me what's wrong", Makoto pried. " I can help if you-".
He didn't need help. He needed to not talk about swimming. Was that the only reason they were friends? They didn't have any connection other than that at all? It was disappointing to know but Rin guessed he'd known it all along. He wanted to forget about it for now.
"I have to go", he cut Makoto off. "Seeya".
He started for his house.
"Wait, Rin-chan. Could..we at least stay in contact?" Makoto grabbed the sleeve of Rin's jacket.
Rin paused for a moment only to pull out his phone. After Makoto punched in his number, he bowed and turned to walk away.
"You'll come back again Rin?" Mako smiled.
"Of course…" he continued walking.
Even if he wasn't Makoto's most important person, he still wanted to be. He would come back. He would definitely come back. He had to now. Makoto wanted to swim with him right? Maybe he could stand to try again. Being away for long had made him forget how important his goal was. He would try again.