Rin's lips felt so cold. Pressing them together he felt warmth draining from his back. He opened his eyes and found Makoto staring at him. He couldn't remembering falling, but now he was lying on the cold hard ground. Mako was talking to him but he couldn't hear the words coming from his mouth.
"Rin?" Makoto reached his fingertips towards Rin's face.
Rin caught his hand easily starting to sit up. He rubbed the back of his head and groaned. It always seemed like the green-eyed boy was helping him with everything.
"I'm fine…", Rin mumbled not meeting his eyes.
Makoto tilted his head and stood up fully, holding his hand out for the redhead. Rin took his hand and pulled himself up. He still felt dizzy but something about being close to Makoto was making him feel better. Finally meeting Makoto's eyes, he saw concern. His heart was thundering in his chest urging him to comfort the taller boy.
"Rin-chan...are you okay?" Makoto fiddled with his gloves.
Rin nodded instantly putting his hands into his pockets. The tension between the both seemed to be building for no reason in particular. Makoto looked at the ground trying to form his words together. He absently bit his lip and Rin had to look away. That action made him feel uncomfortable.
"Are we still friends Rin-chan?" Makoto looked up.
That was a dumb question.
"I thought so?" Rin felt like he was in middle school again.
Makoto's head perked up. His eyes shone and brightened. It looked like he was glowing compared to the dull colors of the passing winter. He smiled his trademark motherly smile.
"So you didn't see my text message?" he flipped open his own phone still smiling like an idiot.
Rin pouted pulling his phone out of his pocket. Sure enough, his phone was off. Turning it on, he saw one message from Makoto. A simple : 'Would you come visit us?'. Rin tried to keep a straight face while nostalgia welled inside of him. It felt warm and cozy to have someone want him somewhere.
"I saw it…" Rin shrugged nonchalantly.
Makoto's face fell a bit but he chuckled reassuring himself. His eyes traced over Rin's wrist and he pressed his lips together.
"You're not wearing the bracelet we gave you?" Makoto clutched the sleeve of his coat in his hand.
Rin looked at his wrist. The familiar trinket that his old friends had given him was nowhere to be seen. He must've left it in his dorm room. It wasn't like he could let Makoto know that he still had such a thing. He'd never admit that he never took it off while he was in Australia. He wore it during every competition, all the training, even while he slept.
"I think I lost it or something…" Rin rubbed his nose.
"Ah…" Makoto seemed to be at a loss for words. "That's...unfortunate…" he rubbed his nose as well.
Mako's smile faded quickly as he hugged himself for warmth. Rin rubbed the back of his neck not sure what to say. Rin cleared his throat.
"I'm staying in Japan for now", he managed.
"Eh? Really?" Makoto took a step closer opening his arms but stopped.
"I go to Samezuka down the street", Rin pointed at his school.
"You should meet everyone else, they'd be so glad!" Makoto seemed so excited now.
Without another hesitation he moved forward with a bright smile.
"But you look tired, so I'll text you later, okay?" he chuckled again.
Rin pouted. How could Makoto act so casually happy right now? They'd transitioned right from tense to calm so smoothly. And it still felt uncomfortable for Rin. He shrugged again. He couldn't let himself feel enthusiastic.
"I'm really fine", he waved Makoto off. "But I do have to get back to my dorm".
He couldn't remember why he'd left in the first place. He no longer felt feverish, but he was still tired. Makoto smiled brightly chuckling again, sweetly.
"We all missed you", Makoto grinned. "Will you be okay going back by yourself?"
Rin resisted the urge to smile at the concern.
"Like I said, I'm fine", he ran his fingers through his hair.
Makoto's phone buzzed. He checked it quickly and his face showed surprise.
"Ah…I have to go, my parents want me to watch my siblings, we should catch up later", he turned to leave.
Rin felt his stomach drop. Makoto would be leaving him behind again.
"Yeah" he answered as Makoto ran off.
"Bye Rin-chan!"
Rin stood in the post-winter cold exhaling loudly. Standing alone there, his thoughts swirled around him. There was nothing keeping him in the place, so he turned to leave. Everything was becoming annoying.
He wasn't even sure where he was walking. His feet dragged forward, as he trudged back towards the old swimming building. The sun had set and darkness was clouding his vision. Rin inhaled the crisp, dry air. He was feeling better today. His head was clearer, his mind more focused, and his energy returning.
The gloomy swimming building lurked in the center of the school yard casting menacing shadows. Taking long strides, Rin was within the building in moments. His fingertips traced the dusty walls of crumbling paint as he went down hallway after hallway. Wind whistled through the decaying structure making it seem more ominous.
Rin stopped at the main clubroom. Inside, tables sat in awkward positions along with chairs strewn messily on the floor. Each step he took echoed through the entire building as he approached an old photograph. He took it up in his hands as his eyes traced over the round faces of his old friends. Their eyes seemed so bright and cheerful, compared to now. What really stood out, was how dull Makoto seemed now. When they were younger, Rin could swear he saw the sun seem incomparable to the brightness of Mako's eyes. And that smile could warm him more than any summer day.
Now that he thought about it, when had he started thinking about Makoto that way? He dropped the picture back on the shelf and picked up an old trophy. He stepped back out into the hallway. He made his way back to the main corridor when he heard voices. The whispers filled the building haunting Rin's thoughts. Memories flooded back crushing against him like a brick wall. Clenching his hands into fists, he stalked towards the voices. They sounded like children.
He was surprised to find Haru, Nagisa, and Makoto standing before him when he got to the end of the hallway. His breath caught in his throat as he struggled to find words at his lips.
"Yo", slipped out.
He couldn't take it back. Whatever happened next would be purely chance. He wasn't sure how he would deal with Haru after what had last happened between them. Facing him now made him uneasy. The one person who always seemed to be his competition.
"Rin-chan!" Nagisa rushed towards him but Rin held his hand out.
"Haru…" he trailed off meeting the raven's eyes.
Haruka kept a steady gaze with him. Nagisa's face became disappointed.
"...let's race", he finished starting towards the old pool.
Haru nodded following close after him. His blood was boiling in his veins. He tried to ignore the fact that Makoto had been clinging to Haru for dear life. It hurt so much, to see them getting on fine without him. He would show Haru. The one who always looked through him, looked down on him. Even if he wasn't that good, he was still better than Haru.
The two began stripping off layer after layer of clothes until they got to the empty pool. The large opening in the ground sat dismally filled with dark water stains.
"Tch", Rin vocalized his frustration. "Whatever…", he stood there in just his swim shorts.
Tossing their old trophy onto the ground he searched for Makoto's gaze. He found pain and hurt. Dragging his eyes back to Haru's expression, he saw the familiar nothingness. Nagisa looked completely left out and confused. This wasn't even between the rest of them. This was all Haru's fault…
No…
Who's fault was this?
"I don't need this anymore", he turned and walked away.
He truly didn't need it.