Starcrossed

by Gatekat

G1 AU, Jazz/Prowl, Jazz/Vortex Jazz is the second creation of a Noble House that's fallen on hard times. He's promised as the subordinate mate to a wealthy commoner in exchange for a great deal of credits. It's only when he meets his future mate that things get bad.

23. Breaking a Family

Starcrossed 23: Breaking a Family
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Over the next few metacycles, Jazz and Prowl managed to find a rhythm around having two jobs and a pair of energetic and trouble-prone twins, but Jazz never stopped being tense around them.

In fact, it was getting worse.

The dancing and having his own employment and time on his own to burn some of the anxiety off had helped, and for a while, he'd even thought it had worked, especially once Prowl had had the idea of him hardlining with the twins at least once an orn to read to them. He'd been able to feel some of that closeness he remembered from when they'd still been nestled in his frame.

But even that was starting to be something he dreaded instead of looking forward to it.

He was tense. He found himself hyper-focusing on the sparklings and watching for any resemblance they might show to their spark sire, and there was plenty to be found if he looked hard enough.

Prowl was trying his best to make a good life for all four of them, but no matter what he tried lately, Jazz found himself actively avoiding the twins' presence as often as he could. But he couldn't avoid it all the time.

Prowl was in the berthroom, which had been transformed into something of a small office for him to bring work home with him and spend less time at the precinct that way, and Jazz was sitting on the lounge, watching Sunstreaker and Sideswipe playing.

It looked like a game of pretend with some kind of chase mixed in. It was hard to tell, because the two tended to talk over their bond whenever possible, but at least they were being quiet and Jazz could idly monitor and try to ignore the way he wanted them both anywhere else but here.

So when Sideswipe broke from the routine they'd been following and ran over to Jazz, it was an unpleasant surprise.

"Carrier! Up! I wanna fly!" the sparkling squealed.

Jazz shifted uncomfortably as he regarded the unfamiliar-looking sparkling. "Why don't you keep playing chase with Sunny," he murmured, looking away.

"But I want to fly!" Sideswipe persisted despite the sudden unease coming over the twin bond.

"I know you do," Jazz hissed softly, and when Sideswipe still didn't move, a tension he'd been feeling build for metacycles snapped and he was on his pedes in an instant, towering over the sparkling, a dangerous growl rising up in his engines. "I know you want to fly! You shouldn't want to fly, if you were mine you wouldn't want to fly!"

"Jazz?" Prowl's soft voice came from the doorway as Sunstreaker tugged on his brother, trying to get him away from danger, even if danger shouldn't be their carrier.

"I am yours." Sideswipe looked at Jazz, then Prowl, and his increasingly disturbed brother. It was the last that got him to take a step back.

"You're not!" Jazz yelled, and gave a deep, frustrated moan, shaking, not hearing his lover, not seeing his creations, but seeing pieces of him. Sunstreaker had pulled Sideswipe as far back as the wall and Jazz advanced on them, hands clenched into fists. "You can't be mine, I can't feel you at all and you act like him and you want to be like him and you're his, you're his!" he all but screamed, fingers snapping out into claws that were aimed to strike.

The twins tried to shield each other, though at less than a vorn old they were no match for an adult, much less an adult with a combat frame. There was a blur of deep blue and a heavy crash against the wall, buckling the metal as two well-armored frames impacted it.

"Get off me!" Jazz screamed, pushing and trashing under his mate's unyielding grip. He was unstable and desperate and unfocused, striking blindly, no goal except to get to these two pieces of his tormenter and destroy them, and that made him easy to keep pinned. "Get off me! They can't live!"

Prowl struggled with him, clawing a dataport open and jabbing a connector in. He wasn't gentle. Any firewall that didn't drop for him was torn down until he reached Jazz's motor controls and locked them.

~Jazz!~ he yelled across the hardline as loudly as he could, trying to break Jazz's focus.

Jazz jerked against him, shuddering as he tried to force past the lock, then snarled over the hardline at the mech that was keeping him immobile, no hint of recognition.

Pain and sorrow flooded Prowl's field before he forced his way deeper into Jazz's system controls and forced a hard reboot, holding him in shutdown for a terrible eighty nanokliks before backing off and watching the sequence and reforming consciousness carefully. Ready to interfere, ready to block the boot sequence to make edits, Prowl held himself still, completely focused on his task.

Jazz came online feeling startled and disoriented and stared at his mate, seeing him and feeling everything in his field, and then choked as recent memory integrated back in, which replaced the startled disconnect with horror. ~I'm...I'm myself,~ he whispered.

Prowl gave him a hard look through the hardline, then began undoing the locks he'd put in place. ~Stay still,~ he said firmly, the kind of order that he'd once given to younglings who had a lot to answer for once Prowl had dealt with the immediate problem they'd created.

"Someone needs to explain. Very quickly." A voice that was not a stranger but neither could place snapped both their attentions towards the open door to their apartment and the enforcer standing there, shock baton drawn and standing firmly between creators and creations.

Everyone was surprised when that explanation came in the form of a small red sparkling grabbing the enforcer's leg and babbling. "I did something wrong. I don't know what. Carrier got really mad, then Sire attacked him and we were scared but nobody got hurt so you can go."

"Sideswipe," Jazz said softly as the rest of the motion locks disengaged, and then faced the mech, wincing. "I-I have a, a glitch, and he triggered it by mistake. He didn't know. I didn't realize it was a trigger," he explained, his field thick with shame as Prowl cautiously unhooked the hardline, turned and stood. Both took care to move slowly and telegraph their intentions. There was no need to give an already edgy enforcer intent on protecting two sparklings a reason to think they were still aggressive. "Pantera didn't attack me. He only knocked me down and forced a reboot."

The enforcer's gaze shifted and Prowl finally placed him. He was a neighbor. Off duty, but of course no enforcer was ever completely off duty.

"It's only acted up a couple times, and never this severely," Prowl went with the almost-truth. "I won't leave the sparklings alone with him again this decaorn," he offered in exchange for the officer to go away. "I'm not going to risk my creations."

They both watched as the officer accessed their public records, and no doubt pulled their employee files as well, along with the comments various mecha at the precinct had about them.

"If this happens again, I will have to call in sparkling protective services," he said a bit reluctantly. "Once is the warning. Twice is a problem."

"I understand," Prowl said firmly, his optics on his creations and only just reigning in the need to touch and make sure he'd gotten there in time.

Sunstreaker apparently had the same thought as his sire, because as soon as Sideswipe stepped back from the enforcer he was against his twin, running his hands over everything, scowling deeply, ignoring both the enforcer and his creators.

"I'll talk to someone who knows coding," Jazz said quietly from where he lingered behind Prowl. "I didn't know it could get like that."

"I think that would be best," the enforcer said, nodding, took one last sweeping look around the room, and then left.

The moment the door had slid shut, Jazz shuddered and slumped against the wall, hand over his face, and Prowl rushed to his creations, giving into the need to touch and teek and check for damage. Once he was sure they were both unharmed, he left the twins to settle each other and returned to Jazz.

A gentle finger slid around the dataport that Prowl had torn open. "I'm sorry for that."

"You did what was necessary," Jazz whispered, face turned away.

"Yes," Prowl agreed with a soft sigh. "That does not mean I can not regret it. Let me in?"

Jazz nodded once, nothing else moving.

The click into the abused dataport was gentle, as was Prowl's entrance to Jazz's processors. It was in every way the opposite of their last interaction. ~Show me what happened,~ Prowl asked.

Jazz silently called the memory up, cringing away from it, and marked the moment Sideswipe had started looking unfamiliar, and then the moment when he had become nothing more than an extension of Vortex, and let the rest of the memory play uncontested, only stopping it once the data file corrupted at the very end after he'd looked at his mate and seen nothing more than an obstacle.

~That ... actually is a glitch. You weren't calling it wrong,~ Prowl said with a bit of surprise. ~Founded in software rather than hardware, but a glitch. Unfortunately I don't believe it's the kind that can be corrected by editing. I don't dare let a specialist look at you either, even if I thought they could help. Anyone who looks at this to fix it would have to look at the why.~

~I have a glitch that makes me want to kill my own creations?~ Jazz cried, moving for the first time as his head snapped up to look at Prowl, then hesitated. ~...What did you think it was?~ he asked quietly, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

~A moment of insanity, a flashback even,~ Prowl sighed softly. ~Not something that would repeat on a trigger. This one will have many triggers, now that it's integrated. You can't be alone with them again. Not until they're big enough and trained enough to fight back. Mid-stage mechlings at least. If not adults.~

~We...we can't afford that,~ Jazz said, at least as capable as his mate as doing the calculations of how much he made per metacycle, even if he was pulling double shifts. ~You can't be here all the time, they can't always go with you. Maybe...I can find something else, I can pull double, and-~ He faltered.

And almost never see Prowl. He didn't say it, but the thought was clear over the hardline with as many firewalls as they lowered for each other.

~No, we will see plenty of each other. It is the twins you will see very little of,~ Prowl murmured, grief and loss thick inside him. ~I will arrange for them to be raised by my kin. They won't be as free, but they'll be well-cared for and safe.~

~Prowl,~ Jazz whispered, shocked. ~No, you-you should go with them,~ he said, his voice breaking over the hardline with the rush of distressed static that surged through. ~You love them.~

~I love you too. They can do well without me. You will not.~ His words were simple, honest, and brutally cold. ~They may well grow up to hate us, but they will grow up cared for by those they live with. It is not uncommon, my love. Not for my caste. It was what happened to those I carried and those I sired. They will not be unusual for being raised by someone other than their creators.~

~This isn't the same as that and you know it,~ Jazz said, and oh Primus, was he really trying to convince his mate to leave him? ~You wanted them, you've met them and held them and know them, don't make me the thing that takes your sparklings from you, please,~ he almost sobbed.

~I can visit them, so long as they still want to see me,~ Prowl murmured. ~They can survive without me. You cannot. I can think of no other alternative.~

Jazz shuddered and gripped Prowl, then turned his head to look at the twins, who were sitting on the floor, huddled together and watching the creators with wide, bright optics. As soon as he met Sunstreaker's gaze, the sparkling's engines kicked into a warning rev. ~I'm so sorry,~ was all he could say.

~I know,~ Prowl murmured. ~For now you need to be in a different room from them. I will care for the twins until I can arrange for them to be taken in by someone else.~

Jazz nodded. ~I'll go,~ he said. ~I can sit at the cafe until my shift. Just...comm me when I can come back.~

~You don't have to go,~ Prowl offered. ~They can be in the berthroom with me. You can watch vids or music out here.~

~I think...they should be somewhere familiar right now,~ Jazz said, as still-active carrier coding flared up and tore at him. ~Whatever you think is best for them.~

~I want you somewhere close too,~ Prowl said firmly. ~You are not steady yet. They will be fine out here. You stay in the berthroom until it's time for your shift. I'll make sure they're settled before you come home.~

Jazz nodded and reached up to the hardline. ~Can I talk to them?~ he asked, brutally aware that he now had to go through Prowl for any interaction. When he got the affirmative nod, he managed a half-smile in thanks, unplugged, and stood, taking the few steps over to them and kneeling more than an arm's reach away. "Sideswipe?" he said softly, focusing on the red twin. Sideswipe perked up at him, hope easily readable on his face. "You can say no, but may I hold you for a moment? I won't hurt you," he said, as much for Sunstreaker as his brother.

Sunstreaker's little engine rumble in warning, but he didn't outright stop his brother from running to their carrier and hugging him.

Jazz gasped as he clutched his sparkling to his chest, and Sideswipe didn't protest, even when the embrace went on for far longer than he normally would have held still for. Jazz shuddered and pressed his lips to the tiny helm, kissing once, then leaned back far enough to meet his optics. "I'm so sorry I frightened you," he said, voice quiet and unsteady, running his thumb over Sideswipe's cheek. "And I'm so sorry for everything else, and I know you might not understand, not ever, but please know that I tried."

"It's okay, Carrier," the little red sparkling tried to reassure him. "No one was hurt."

Jazz smiled at him. "I know," he said. "You are an incredibly brave and smart sparkling and I'm very proud of you. Sunstreaker?" he asked, softer, looking up and holding his arm out for the yellow twin.

Sunstreaker regarded him warily, but eventually gave in to the silent encouragement from his twin and sire.

Jazz hugged him, not as tightly as he had Sideswipe, and kissed his helm, getting himself a suspicious squirm in response to the unfamiliar action. "You'll watch out for your brother for me, won't you?" Jazz asked. "Promise me that." He looked at Sideswipe. "Both of you."

"Of course we'll watch out for each other," Sideswipe chirped, though he was a bit confused.

"And I'll always protect him," Sunstreaker rumbled, though he was calming with the fields around him.

"Why are you so sad?" Sideswipe asked carefully.

Jazz sighed. "I'm sad because I tried to hurt you," he said. "Because if Pantera hadn't been here I could have hurt you very badly. And because I think you will be angry at me, and because I wish I could explain everything and promise it will be all right, but I can't." Because no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't bring himself to say that he loved them. "Maybe some vorn you will understand, and maybe you will be able to forgive me then."

The twins shared a confused look, and damn they were getting good at looking like they weren't talking over their bond, Jazz thought with a proud flicker.

"We do forgive you, Creator," Sunstreaker told him.

Jazz pulled them back into the tight hug for a long moment. "I am so proud of you both," he murmured, kissed each of them, then let go and stood, going straight into the berthroom. He closed the door, something unprecedented in their time here, and left the twins to stare at Prowl in bewildered confusion.

"Do you have any questions right now?" Prowl asked them, weary to his spark and aching at the painful choice he'd made with so little effort.

"Is Carrier okay?" Sideswipe asked quietly.

Prowl sighed and knelt to gather them both in his arms. "No, he is not all right," he murmured. He'd never lied to them and he wasn't going to start now. "The bad mech damaged him and we're still discovering how badly."

"You should get the bad mech in trouble," Sunstreaker said, his face in a very deep frown as he looked up at Prowl.

"I want to, but he is powerful. Far more powerful than we are. It is why we hide who we are," Prowl told him gently but firmly, keeping his voice low. "Punishing such mecha takes a great deal of time and planning. Centuries."

Sideswipe looked from Prowl to the door of the berthroom, confusion and the first hints of anxiety starting to creep into his field. "Why did Carrier go?" he asked. "He likes to be with you when he is sad."

Prowl let his doorwings droop along with the grief in his field. "Because he cannot be near either of you right now. We can't know when he'll lose control again."

"But..." Sideswipe said, and looked at his twin, then back at Prowl. "I'll be good, I promise! I won't jump or ask anything and he doesn't even have to play with me he can just watch! I'll be really really quiet, really!" He looked at Prowl with huge, pleading optics while next to him, Sideswipe frowned quietly, teeking his sire's field.

"I know you would," Prowl did his best to reassure his creations with voice, field and frame. "I know you can. But it is not fair to either of you to have to exist like that. You are sparklings. You should be free to play and enjoy your youth. Adult status will come too quickly. Play with me until it's time to recharge?"

Sideswipe sighed and nodded, not looking like he wanted to play in the slightest as he leaned against Prowl's chest.

"Can we read a story instead?" Sunstreaker asked.

"Sure thing," Prowl smiled at them, more than content to just hold them and record a few more memories while they were still here. "What kind of story do you want?"

"A happy one," Sunstreaker said quietly, while Sideswipe nodded and they both clung to the sire, unable to explain what was happening but knowing without a doubt that it wasn't anything good and wanting the steady comfort that Prowl had always provided.

SxSxSxSxSxSxSxSx S===================S SxSxSxSxSxSxSxS

Mortar lifted his head when his door pinged an entrance request. He accepted and it slid back to reveal Prowl standing in the hallway.

"Oh, I was going to call you in this orn anyway," Mortar said, smiling as warmly as he could at the mech. "This saves me the trouble. I suppose you know why, word travels fast around here, though I also imagine that's why you're here."

"Yes, sir," Prowl said and stepped inside, allowing the door to close behind him. "Arrangements have already been made so that Saxo is never alone with them. I am contacting kin and a few others to find a more permanent home for them." Despite the matter-of-fact tone, the agony Prowl was in was not well hidden.

Mortar frowned. "There has to be a better solution than that," he said. "Can I ask what happened, exactly? I have the report here, but..."

Prowl dropped his gaze before gathering himself. "Sideswipe's spark sire is a sadist. He had Saxo for a vorn or so, far too long for a mech barely into his adult upgrade. All Saxo can see in his creation now is that mech. They'll never be safe around him until they can fight back and stop him if he glitches again. They're barely a vorn old now. I can't protect them that long and keep Saxo too."

"Sunstreaker is in similar danger?" Mortar asked, gesturing to the seat across from the desk and setting out a cube of high grade for Prowl to take if he'd like it.

"He's extremely protective of his brother," Prowl couldn't help the small but proud smile as he sat down, though he didn't take the high grade yet. "He puts himself between Sideswipe and anything he views as a threat. That includes things that he is no better at defending against than Sideswipe is." He picked up the cube and fiddled with it without drinking anything. "I've watched Saxo's memory of what happened. He didn't even recognize me when the glitch took over. There's more than a ninety percent chance that even without Sideswipe there, Sunstreaker could trigger it. We invested a lot of effort into making sure we were both creators to them. It's coming back to bite us in the aft now."

Mortar was still frowning as he took out his own cube and rolled it in his hands. "Has he seen a specialist for the glitch? Something like that, something that developed post-adult upgrades, is much easier to fix than something he was created with."

Prowl nodded, grief and frustration in the set of his doorwings. "They said it could be fixed, but it would involve stripping pretty much everything from when the trauma began onwards. It's not much time to lose, not even two and a half vorns, but he wouldn't remember me, the sparklings, almost nothing after his adult upgrades. It ... it's a no-win situation for us."

Mortar's optics spiraled wide and he sank back in his chair, x-venting heavily. "That's...one worked in glitch," he said, shaking his head. He leaned forward, put his hand over Prowl's caught the smaller mech's gaze with his own. "And this is what you want? You would rather stay with him than keep your sparklings? I need to know this is your choice, not his."

Prowl looked up and met his gaze steadily. "I love the sparklings, but they will be raised well and lack for little. They will have a better education than I can give them and a future within an estate if they want it. The only difference between them and my first three is that I learned their designations and had a little time to become attached," he again spoke the unvarnished truth. "I will get over losing them soon. My creator protocols are set up not to grieve the loss for long. Loosing Saxo... he's far more my future than any of my creations could be."

Mortar nodded. "As long as it's what you want to do," he said. "You know you have Enforcer support behind any decision you make." He paused for a moment. "And you'll get to see them if they're with your kin, I'm sure. I have to commend you for being so proactive, most cases like this don't end so well."

"Thank you," Prowl relaxed, his field expressing his deep gratitude. "Planning, assessing data and organizing it is what I do best. I'm grateful that Saxo is willing to let me make the arrangements. This could be extremely ugly if he didn't want to give them up. I will keep you appraised of my progress on selecting their new home and when I will require a few orns leave to take them there and say goodbye."

Mortar nodded. "Take all the time you need. With all the work you've saved me on reports I think you get vacation time whenever you need it." He looked over his desk with a rueful chuckle. "Who knew that getting to be in charge meant so much desk work."

"The last precinct chief," Prowl chuckled and stood. "Thank you for your understanding and support, sir."

SxSxSxSxSxSxSxSx S===================S SxSxSxSxSxSxSxS

Jazz left through the exit in the back of the club once his shift was over, avoiding the audience and any possible socializing completely, not wanting to talk to anyone, just wanting to get back home and curl around Prowl and try to slip into recharge without thinking too much.

He was walking past the building when part of the wall just stepped out and the familiar golden visor lit up.

"I'm going home," Jazz said, pushing past him.

"You haven't even heard the offer," Radiance chuckled. "What mecha turns down free high grade and a sympathetic shoulder?"

"The kind who doesn't want to talk to anyone," Jazz said. "Notice the suspicious back door exit?"

"Those are usually the mecha who need to talk the most, or at least get thoroughly blasted on high grade," Radiance countered, seeing the resistance wasn't as strong as Jazz wanted to portray.

Jazz hesitated, then stopped and turned back. "Thoroughly blasted?"

"I'll make sure you get home in one piece," Radiance nodded and held up a credit stick that had more than enough on it for a night of very serious drinking for several mecha.

Jazz eyed it. "I'll let Pantera know I'm going to be late," he said, and sent his mate a quick ping before holding his arm out in front of them. "You lead the way."

Radiance grinned as he put the credit stick away and walked off, trusting Jazz would follow. It wasn't far to his favorite bar to get information out of overcharged targets, and he was sure Jazz had secrets a plenty to tell.

The overwhelming press of mecha in the bar didn't seen to phase Jazz in the slightest and he followed Radiance easily through the crowds until they got to a table that emptied as soon as the occupants saw the SWAT CO, and the high grade was there moments later.

"Someone's popular," Jazz said dryly, and tipped the entire drink back in one swallow.

"I earn it," Radiance cracked a grin and studied Jazz. "Just one question I expect an answer to. This time next vorn, will you and Pantera be in better shape?"

Jazz scowled at him. "Pantera and I are fine," he said.

Radiance cocked his helm. "You can't really expect that to pass muster. You're both a mess, and your sparklings aren't much better. I may not know many details, but I know things are hardly fine."

Jazz accepted the second cube and looked at it for a moment before downing it. "I'm not sure why it has to pass muster," he said, with a shiver from the energy rush. "Pantera is still doing his work, he's taken all the responsible steps with Mortar, and why do you care if everything is fine or not?"

"Is it really so hard to believe I might be looking out for you because I like you?" Radiance asked softly. "Not everything I do is about work."

Jazz's optics cycled in surprise and his field flickered with the same. He hesitated, frowning. "You hardly know me."

"Maybe, but I know enough to want to know you better, just as a mech," Radiance gave Jazz a gentle smile. "You've got a good spark, and it hurts to see you hurting so much. Both of you, but Pantera has a lot more support at work. I don't think you have anyone but him."

Jazz shrugged uncomfortably. "Never really...needed anyone but him."

"You don't have to need anyone else to find other support helpful," Radiance suggested. "Having a friend doesn't take anything away from what you have with him."

"Yeah," Jazz said, looking at the table. "...What do you know? There have to be rumors, right? About..." He waved his hand vaguely.

"The sparklings were endangered, and that it's not something that can be fixed," Radiance kept his voice low and even. "Pantera is looking for a new home for them. And whatever Mortar knows disturbed him a lot. More than a few rumors that you were seriously abused by your last lover."

Jazz huffed a laugh. "I hope you meant it when you said thoroughly blasted," he said, raising his fingers for a third round. "Pantera and I are fine. That's...almost the worst part," he said softly.

Radiance hummed and nodded. "Not many have a clue about most of it," he offered a bit of reassurance. "Just a few officers. Most who have a clue only know that there was a domestic the other night. Not good, but nothing too horrible. That and Pantera is very protective of you."

"He's always been like that," Jazz said, and after the third cube, could feel it becoming easier to relax. "What... would you do, if someone loved you so much he was willing to go through the Pit of losing his sparkling to stay with you?"

"Thank Primus several times an orn for it," Radiance answered first. "Then whatever I had to to make sure he knew it and it wasn't a one-way street. A mate that loyal's almost unheard of." He swirled his first cube of high grade, barely halfway finished. "And get ready to be the one who made some sacrifices. He hasn't said much, but most of us can see it. He wants to be an enforcer, and he'll be a damn good one."

"He can do whatever he wants to," Jazz said. "I'm just...I know this is what he wants, and it's his choice, but...I can't help but think he would be better off if I were gone. And I know that's awful, and stupid, but I keep thinking it. He could have such a good life if he'd never met me. And I don't even know why I'm telling you this," he said bitterly.

"Because I'm willing to listen?" Radiance suggested. "He might have a good existence, but he wouldn't have the mech he loves so much to share it. For what it's worth, experience has taught me that it's easy to make a good existence. It's hard as Pit to find someone you love with all your spark. Your youth isn't helping you on this one. And, well, sparklings are gone in three centuries. A good mate is with you forever."

"...Yeah," Jazz said, shifting again. He gave a startled look at the server who put a fourth cube in front of him, then looked at Radiance, who smiled back.

"Thoroughly blasted," the visored mech said.

Jazz offered him as much of a smile as he could manage before taking a deep swallow. "I did try," he said quietly. "To love them, that is. To want them. I thought I wanted them. I think I even loved them for a little while, and then..." He waved his hand again. "Guess it doesn't matter."

"Do you think you might want to try again, without the shadow of his spark sire?" Radiance prodded lightly.

"What makes you think it was his spark sire?" Jazz asked with a defensive growl.

"Common sense," Radiance shrugged. "You were abused long term. It's pretty obvious. It's also obvious it's not Pantera that's doing it. So what can get a carrier out of an abusive relationship? Threat to the sparkling. The protocols don't tend to hold well after separation, but while it's still inside sparkling protection and self-preservation protocols line up in a powerful mix."

Jazz was quiet for a long klik, staring at his drink, before his gaze flickered back up. "What makes it obvious that I was..." Another dismissive hand wave and a dark scowl. "Pantera knows about it, I've never told anyone else."

"You don't have to," Radiance said gently. "Not many mecha are trained to see it, but to those of us who are, you've got every marker of serious long-term abuse. That you have such difficulty maintaining a bond with the sparkling you carried says that the one who abused you sired it."

Jazz gave a noncommittal hum, finished what remained of the current drink, gave a hard shudder, and straightened, the teekable mood in his field flipping over in a nanoklik. "Pantera wants to carry for us," he said brightly. "He's a natural carrier, he takes well to it."

"That he does," Radiance went with it smoothly. "He's an excellent creator from all I've seen and heard. An excellent mate too."

"He is," Jazz said, then grinned. "And he's excellent in berth," he purred. "Or anywhere."

"Of that I have no doubt," Radiance grinned back. "Even if I do doubt that many mecha know just how good."

"Maybe more than you would think," Jazz said smoothly. "He had an active youth." The fifth cube came and disappeared. "You know I don't think I've actively tried to get overcharged since my adult upgrades."

"Have you ever been overcharged?" Radiance asked curiously as he reevaluated just how sheltered Jazz's life must have been.

"Uh, as a mechling, kind of," Jazz said. "Wasn't supposed to, but, I mean, Sideswipe isn't entirely a creation of his spark sire," he said with a chuckle. "And then it wasn't safe for a long time, and then carrying and then sparklings...no, not really," he finally decided.

"Well then, it's long past time you get good and completely blasted," Radiance grinned widely and sipped on his own cube, still his first. "Mecha should do it at least once in his youth."

"And what better time than when my life is falling apart and with a dazzlingly attractive officer of the law," Jazz grinned. "Wow that kicks in fast."

"You've downed enough to drop Mortar," Radiance chuckled. "And I'd hardly say your life is falling apart, Saxo. You have a job you like, enough credits to have a good apartment, repairs and energon, and most importantly, a mate who loves you more than anything and is also doing work he enjoys. Really, what you have when the dust settles is pretty damn good."

"That's true," Jazz said. "It's better than getting gang-'faced and drinking Empties in the gutters to survive or something."

Radiance only barely controlled the shock from slamming through his field and mute his vocalizer before it sputtered. That was real life talking, even if Jazz didn't realize what he'd said. Instead he kept his easy smile in place and agreed. "Much better. It's sad what some mecha have to do to get by these orns. The gutters are getting bigger every vorn."

Jazz shrugged in dismissive agreement. "Yeah. So could be much worse. And maybe when the dust settles I'll have a 'facing life again."

"Stress can do that," Radiance said sympathetically. "It usually picks up when the stress settles. It's miserable in the meantime. Not a lot to do about it if you're exclusive though."

"Miserable being...um, an understatement," Jazz said. "Or an overstatement I guess. I think. Better than what it could be." He sighed. "I'll just focus on a 'facing life to look forward to. And Pantera carrying," he added with a purr. "And high grade."

"Yes to all of those," Radiance replied warmly. "It sounds like a good future, and I'm sure he'll agree."

"Mhmm," Jazz said, smiling happily. "'M gonna have a Pit of a processor ache, huh?"

Radiance chuckled. "If you can get yourself to move at all tomorrow, I'll be amazed. The first serious overcharge is always the worst, though the downcharge cycle is never fun. Still useful for forgetting for a while though."

"Now you tell me," Jazz grinned, letting his head fall back to rest against the wall. "Promise you'll get me home and not take advantage," he teased, but there was something very real in the request.

"I gave you my word before you had the first drop," Radiance turned very serious. "I'll get you home and I won't take advantage of you. I'm not into that kind of 'facing. I want my partners just that: partners."

Jazz nodded. "Thought so," he said. "Hasn't...really been my experience with most. Just Pantera. Primus I love him," he hummed happily.

"I know," Radiance smiled softly. "It shows every time you talk of him, every time you're near him, every time you think of him. He loves you just as much. I see it in him too."

Jazz just hummed in happy agreement, optics flickering a bit, and Radiance subtly motioned for the server not to bring the next cube over, and got an amused, knowing smile in return.

It took an incredibly long time for the actual distance covered, but Radiance did manage to get his overcharged charge back to his apartment, and the door opened before they even got to it. Prowl was there, stepping into Jazz's staggering lung for him with strong arms and a nuzzle.

"Thank you," Prowl looked up at Radiance while his hands stroked Jazz's back. "For taking him out, and for returning him. I'll be ready for his state after recharging."

Jazz purred against Prowl's neck. "Love let's 'vite Radiance over a night," he slurred. "He has these-um-hands, he has hands."

At Prowl's bemused look, Radiance chuckled. "I think he means the mag upgrades I have," he said, lifting his hand to show his palm. "And no problem," he added with a small shrug. "He seemed like he needed it."

"I expect he did," Prowl nuzzled his lover again. "Recharge well, Radiance. I'll see about getting him in our berth before he collapses," his optics held a knowing glimmer from when he was much younger, and from overseeing many youths through their early attempts at high grade.

Radiance nodded and gave the pair a smile. "Recharge well," he replied before leaving.

Prowl smiled down at Jazz and nudged him inside, guiding him to their berth and some badly needed recharge.

In three orns the sparklings would be gone, taken to Polyhex and likely to never see Jazz again until they were in their final frames, if they chose to at all.

Three orns and he would once more hand his creations over to near-strangers in a far away estate to raise. Only this time, he was doing it because he loved his mate, rather than because he had been ordered to and did not truly perceive the sparklings as his.

SxSxSxSxSxSxSxSx S===================S SxSxSxSxSxSxSxS

"Where's Carrier?" Sideswipe asked as he fidgeted in Prowl's cab. They'd been driving for what seemed like forever to the sparklings, and honestly it seemed like forever to Prowl too.

"He's in Praxus," Prowl explained once more. "You already said goodbye to him."

"Why didn't he come too?" Sideswipe asked, not for the first time, looking out the window.

"Because his creator protocols are badly damaged. It is the reason you will be living in Polyhex. You are not safe around him."

"But I promise really really really to be good!" came the predictable response.

"Does Carrier still love us?" Sunstreaker asked from where he was curled up as close as he could get to the interior plating, having been quiet for most of the drive.

Prowl's field reached inward to wrap them in his own soothing love, and how deeply he loved them. "No, I do not believe he does. The bad mech hurt him too badly. Once he could no longer feel you, he could not emotionally connect with you."

He felt Sideswipe stiffen and then shiver before he crawled over to huddle with his brother. "But I love him," he whispered.

"And we're not like the bad mech," Sunstreaker added quietly. "Are we?"

"No, little one," Prowl cooed. "You aren't like him at all. But Jazz can't perceive that anymore. He's been very badly damaged."

Sunstreaker hummed quietly, thoughtful, and Sideswipe sighed. After a moment, Sunstreaker lifted his head back up. "Will you stay with us? We want you to stay with us."

"I know, and I want to stay with you both. I cannot," Prowl didn't hide his regret and grief. "Jazz needs me too much. You will be well cared for by Amberwave and I will visit as often as I can."

"But I love you," Sunstreaker said, voice sounding like he might be close to crying again, and Sideswipe made a soft sound of agreement.

"I know," Prowl's vocalizer gave as much emotional static as it did word glyphs. "I will visit as often as I can."

"You still love us right?" Sideswipe asked, needing to hear it. "We're not bad?"

"I love you both a great deal," Prowl promised them. "You are not bad. You have never been bad. You are wonderful sparklings. None of this is your fault."

"Okay," Sideswipe whispered, and curled up against Sunstreaker, who huddled against Prowl, silent and still for the rest of the drive.

It was an excruciating three more joors for Prowl before he pulled into the servant entrance of the Calidar estate in Polyhex. Mecha moved about their duties, gave him exactly one glance and ID ping and moved on without a pause. A well-run estate with servants that were respectful but not fearful. It was exactly how he had run his.

A moment of loss at what he had been bred, raised and trained to do came and went unnoticed at the grief of loosing his sparklings.

"We are here," he roused the sparklings in his cab as he pulled to a stop near an entrance for people rather than goods.

They quietly and obediently crawled out of the opened door and stood back for Prowl to transform, then stepped close and stuck near his legs as he walked.

"Punctual, cousin," said the stern-looking Praxian standing at the doorway, waiting for them. His gaze swept down over the sparklings and he nodded once, then turned, leading them inside. "We will speak in confidence in my office where we will not be disturbed."

Prowl nodded, silent, and let his creations into the well-maintained estate as he followed his kin. They passed through halls that were quieter than Prowl would have expected to get to the seneschal's office, passing right by the huge dining hall on the wall, where he caught a glimpse of the long table and all of the chairs covered in white cloth. Predictably, the sparklings slowed as they looked into the biggest room they'd ever seen and Prowl paused for a moment to let them look, Amberwave stopping a half-step later and turning politely as he waited.

"That's for fueling?" Sideswipe whispered, peering in.

"Why's it all covered?" Sunstreaker asked.

"That is the dining hall," Amberwave said. "It is covered because my Lords are currently away from the estate, and it is not being used." He gave the sparklings a strict look. "It is not for playing."

They looked at him, startled, obviously not having expected him to immediately guess their intentions.

"Amberwave has overseen many sparklings. He knows how little ones think. No part of the estate that is for the Lords to use is for playing," Prowl said firmly.

"Aw," Sideswipe said as they started walking again, giving the tempting looking room one more backwards glance.

"How do we know what is for playing and what is not?" Sunstreaker questioned a few kliks later.

"You will be thoroughly instructed and monitored," Amberwave said, palming a door open and stepping aside to let them enter before him. Prowl heard him keying in a lock code as he passed.

The office was modest, neat, perfectly functional and already had a chair for Prowl and one for the sparklings to share. Amberwave went around to sit on the opposite side of the desk and slid two datapads towards Prowl. "First and foremost," he said. "Legality and security. I have their official records from Praxus, and the permission from my Lord Timestone to bring two new charges in for fostering. As their current legal guardian, I need you to sign off on both of these."

Prowl knew the forms intimately, but read them anyway to ensure they were what he was expecting. With little more than a nod he signed over legal custody of his vorn-old creations to a mech that he had only met across comms.

Amberwave took them back, gave a satisfactory hum, and set them aside before leaning across the desk with steepled fingers. "There were bounty hunters here directly following your incident, poking around, attempting to gain access to me for questions. I wouldn't worry about them returning, we have many cousins," he added with a wry smile, the first he'd shown. "And I doubt they're keeping track of the comings and goings of servant-class younglings in estates. Their records pass every check I have run on them, and there is no reason to believe they are related beyond being age-mates, provided they do not give one. How well have they been trained to hide what they are?"

"Very well," Prowl said with certainty. "They have spent a great deal of time at the enforcer precinct I work at and there has been no indication of suspicion. They understand, as well as they can, the risks of being discovered."

"An enforcer precinct," Amberwave said, tone and field soaked with disdain, shaking his head. "You are being wasted, cousin. And all for an oligar playing pretend in a world he could never hope to understand."

"I know," Prowl sighed. "It is better than the use that oligar had for me."

"Indeed," Amberwave said. "A disgrace, to misuse one of our line in such a way." He looked at Sideswipe and Soundwave, who looked uncertainly back. "Have they shown any indication of being able to integrate seneschal systems when they are mature?" he asked. "Or did the carrier's influence taint them too much?"

"They both have the requisite processor power and quality of protoform," Prowl said. "Sunstreaker is more likely to adapt them to inventory, while Sideswipe is much more socially inclined."

Amberwave nodded. "Though ultimately unlikely to find true joy in serving, considering your spark creators and your carrier, we will see what can be done with you," he told the sparklings, then looked back up at Prowl. "Do you have any questions, or would you like copies of their contracts?" he asked politely.

Prowl paused, torn. He did want a copy, because it was his nature to keep all contracts and data. It was rooted in his very function, his purpose in existence. Yet he fought down that desire.

"It would be best if we do not have anything linking us so directly to where they are," Prowl said softly, his doorwings tense at the break in behavior. "If we are captured, it may take long enough to track them down for them to escape if there is nothing on us to lead hunters here. My memory file will have to suffice."

Amberwave's optics softened slightly at the tension and pain that he could read in the smallest tilt of Prowl's doorwings, but his own posture remained just as rigid. "Would you like to accompany us to see where their berths will be?" he asked. "It should be empty right now-" He paused for a moment to access the cameras to ensure that, and nodded his satisfaction when it was. "You could take a few kliks in there with them before you leave, and if you'd like, I could ask Raela to join us briefly. She is the sparkling caretaker."

"Thank you," Prowl's optics shown with gratitude as he stood. "I would appreciate that a great deal."

Amberwave nodded understandingly and looked at the twins. "Come with me," he said, and stood and waited while they climbed off the chair themselves before leading them back through the hallways, only this time, going through the servants' network instead of the main halls.

"This is where you will recharge," he announced as they reached one door in a long hallway, and palmed it open.

Prowl knew what to expect, a simple interior room with six sparkling berths, an area for holding classes and playing, and very little else, like the one he'd been raised in. He'd been raised in the same estate as his carrier, which was unusual for his family, but he'd been treated as any other servant class sparkling.

"This is it?" Sideswipe asked, looking around.

"It is a standard environment," Amberwave said. "If you have any personal belongings, you may store them beneath your berths."

"We always share a berth," Sideswipe said, stepping close to his twin and looking up at the intimidating seneschal.

"You will each have your own," Amberwave said, and both sparklings immediately looked at Prowl.

"You will obey Amberwave and Raela as you have obeyed me." Prowl promptly pinged Amberwave the way he'd disciplined the pair.

Amberwave glanced over the procedures, found nothing unexpected, and nodded his satisfaction. "They will find very little change in Raela's disciplinary procedures," he said. "Although she is more..." He paused for a moment, searching for the glyphs he wanted. "Permissive to the spontaneous nature of sparklings than I am apt to be. Though still within acceptable boundaries."

The twins exchanged an uncertain glance, fairly certain that was good for them, but not convinced by Amberwave's tone.

"These two are your berths," Amberwave said, walking over to the set and gesturing. "There are three other sparklings who currently live here, you will meet them later this orn. Hello, Raela," he greeted as the door opened behind Prowl and a femme with a friendly smile entered.

"So these are my new charges?" she trilled with warm excitement and walked up to the pair. "Welcome to the Calidar estate, Sunstreaker, Sideswipe." She knelt and greeted them correctly, looking at each sparkling to show that she knew which was which.

::Raela, I brought a few of their toys, if it is permissible. I can leave them in the general bin or theirs,:: Prowl commed her privately.

::They may have their own toys,:: her tone was a smile, since her focus remained on her charges.

Sunstreaker was regarding her warily but Sideswipe chirped an equally warm, "Thank you, Raela."

"You are very welcome," she smiled at him. "How are you liking it here?"

They drooped simultaneously. "It's nice," Sideswipe said reluctantly, kicking at the ground. "Not like home. I miss Carrier."

Raela stroked her thumb over the top of his head soothingly. "Don't worry, no one will ask you to feel at home here any sooner than you're ready," she said, then looked at Sunstreaker, who looked back silently. ::Anything I should know about them?:: she asked Prowl.

::They are hyper-protective of each other and Sunstreaker is more than mildly possessive of Sideswipe. He knows he should not act on it. Sunstreaker is as introverted as Sideswipe is extroverted and he tends to let Sideswipe do the talking.:: Prowl explained smoothly and databurst her the full file he had prepared. ::Sideswipe will warm up to everyone and the situation much faster than Sunstreaker, though Sunstreaker is likely to adapt more quickly on an emotional level so long as Sideswipe is there. Sunstreaker is the smarter, more creative one, but Sideswipe is more likely to think up ways to get into trouble, unintentional and otherwise. Their sparks are good and they want to please, but they are vorn old sparklings.::

::That is very good to know,:: Raela said, her warm smile at the pair never faltering as she processed and integrated that into her knowledge of them. "I know it may take some time, but I want you to know you can trust me with anything," she said. "Above all, I want you to be safe and happy here. I have to go back to the other sparklings now, and you may stay in this room, or come join us if you'd like, just send me a comm and I will come get you. That door," she said, pointing at the entrance, "Will only open to me, Amberwave, and a few others you will meet later. You'll get a better idea of our ornly schedule tomorrow, but for today I'd just like you to relax as much as you can, okay?"

They nodded together. Raela took another moment to smile and rub Sideswipe's shoulder comfortingly before she rose. "Do you have any questions before I go?" she asked Prowl.

"No," he said quietly, managing to maintain a professional air by only the slimmest of margins. "Thank you for tending to them when I cannot."

"They will be well cared for here," she assured him, gave a nod to Amberwave, who nodded back, and left.

"Would you like some time?" Amberwave asked gently. "I will remain in the hall to show you out whenever you are ready, though I believe soonest would be best for everyone."

"Yes," Prowl nodded, canting his doorwings in thanks. He didn't wait for Amberwave to leave to go to his creations and kneel, offering his arms.

They ran immediately into them, pressing tightly against him and clinging to his armor. Behind him, Prowl heard the door open and close, and paid it no more attention as Sunstreaker pressed his face to his chest and shivered unhappily.

"Can you stay longer?" the yellow twin asked. "I don't want you to go."

"I do not wish to leave you," Prowl admitted, keeping very quiet the knowledge that his grief would fade within a few orns, and without further contact he would not recognize them as anyone special within the vorn. What he said was the truth in this moment and that was all the pair needed to know. "I must leave tonight. I have a few kliks left, then you must look to Raela and Amberwave." He lowered his helm, his field expressing his full grief that he could not make things work. "I will visit as often as I can."

"Maybe you could live here too," Sunstreaker said hopefully.

"No 'cause Carrier needs him," Sideswipe corrected.

"He tried to hurt you," Sunstreaker growled quietly.

Sideswipe scowled at his brother as the argument shifted internal, one they'd doubtlessly had many times before this judging from the lack of surprise in either of their fields. It lasted less than a klik, and then Sunstreaker sighed and Sideswipe looked at his brother sadly before hugging him. "Creator will visit," he promised. "And I'll be here."

"Yes," Prowl promised them. "No one is going to try and separate you. You need each other more than you need me."

"But," Sunstreaker said quietly, then sighed. It had all been said before. He huddled into his sire's arms and his twin's embrace, quivering and silent for as many kliks as Prowl would allow him.