ch 9

A/N: This chapter starts off a lot lighter than the last one, but it doesn't stay that way. I know you're probably all going to want to hurt me when you get a little way into it, but I'm begging please keep reading. It will get better, but it is going to be a long story. I also want to apologize to anyone who read chapter 7 before I had a chance to fix it. I realized that I made a mistake when I wrote the date in the diary. It is supposed to be 1958 instead of 59. I fixed it since, but didn't want to confuse anyone.

...

Over the next year Victoria had developed a new rhythm to her life. She would have breakfast, albeit normally around noon, with Sirius then spend a few hours at Flourish and Blotts. After work she and Sirius would stay up for a while chatting about her day and Order business. Occasionally Remus would join them breaking up the monotony for Sirius, but he would never stay very long.

Inevitably at least once a week somehow it seemed that Pettigrew would be captured by a Death Eater. Each time she and Moody accompanied by another Order member or two would be sent to save him. Somehow they always managed to get him before anything happened or he said anything. It had become a standing joke between she and Moody each time they would depart who got to stun the person guarding Pettigrew and who actually got to grab him. They had gotten to the point that they would make bets on how many people would be guarding him.

Victoria had been surprised when it was almost three weeks and she hadn't been called up for another rescue mission for the man. The nagging feeling that something was wrong wouldn't leave her, but she was determined to enjoy the quiet time that had come over her life as of late.

It was nearly a month after their last mission when Victoria woke up to realize that it was October 31st, Halloween. Smiling to herself she opened the door to see Sirius in his position at the stove. His hair had gotten a bit longer in the year that he'd spent with her. His skin had gotten paler from the lack sunlight. The smirk on his face however revealed the mischevious man who still resided behind the new facade.

He looked at her curiously as she walked into the living area. "What on earth are you wearing?"

"What?" She asked looking down at her attire, "It's Halloween."

He looked at her as if she'd gone crazy, with good reason. She was dressed in a black dress that she'd transfigured to what was now a tattered, shredded scrap of material. Her face was covered in a shade so pale she looked to be dead. The scar she'd gotten from Bellatrix the year prior came into good use as she'd made a red slash across her neck directly over the scar and made it look like blood was pouring out of the fake wound. "Yes I know it's Halloween, what are you doing?"

It was her turn to look at him as if he'd lost his mind, "You've never dressed up for Halloween?"

"Can't say that I have." He answered laughing slightly as if it were the craziest idea in the world and turned back to the stove.

She shook her head, "That's it we need to fix this." She wordlessly pointed her wand at his back.

"Bloody hell!" He exclaimed as his newly elongated robe nearly fell into the flame of the burner. "What did you do to me?"

She smirked at him leading him to the bathroom so that he could get a good look at his new attire. He jumped back as he saw his reflection for the first time. His face was pale and sunken as if he were no more than a skeleton with skin. His black robes had become longer and tattered, giving him the appearance of the grim reaper. "You turned me into a dementor!"

"Well in the States they would probably say the grim reaper, but whatever works for you." She smiled at him pleased with her work.

Sirius continued to stare at his reflection as Victoria returned to the living room. A moment later she heard a small pop behind her and turned to see Remus. He stood in shock staring at her until she smiled at him, "Hey Remus, nice you could visit!"

"Victoria, are you ok?" He asked eyeing the fake wound on her neck.

She laughed, "I'm fine. I take it you've never dressed up for Halloween either?"

"Afraid not." He answered still eyeing her warily.

She smiled again pointing her wand at him this time. His hand shot to his mouth as his transformation completed, feeling the strange sensation of two of his teeth growing. He rushed to the bathroom where Sirius was still staring at himself. Remus nearly shrieked in terror seeing Sirius transformed for the first time. Sirius looked Remus over whining, "Now why couldn't I be the vampire? Do you see what she made me?"

"I'd rather be a dementor." Remus lamented running a hand over his hair that was now slicked back to lay flat against his head.

"Would you two quit complaining?" Victoria came up behind them throwing an arm around each of them. "I don't work today and we're going to celebrate this holiday the right way."

"And what's that?" Sirius asked afraid of what she was going to suggest for the day.

"We are going to spend the day going to the muggle movie theater and watching horror movies. Then when it gets dark I'm going to show you what kids in the muggle world do on Halloween." She smiled at them simply.

The men looked at each other knowing that once she'd made up her mind there was nothing to do but go along with it.

…

That night the three friends got back to their place late. It was nearly midnight when they came stumbling in after having decided to hit a muggle pub while they were out. Over all it had been a good day. Victoria had spent a good deal of the movies hiding her face in Sirius's cloak, to which Sirius had no complaints. She took the men around later that night merely to show them what the kids did. When Sirius found out that he could get candy it took everything the other two could to do to keep him from ringing the doorbells for himself. Soon after they arrived back at her flat Remus decided he'd had enough of the night and apparated home. Victoria and Sirius continued to talk and laugh from their position on the couch.

Sirius was laughing as he looked back up at her, "The way they portray magic in the muggle world. It's no wonder muggle borns are so worried when they first get to Hogwarts."

She smiled, "I know. If magic were really anything like that I think we all would be dead by now."

"I can't believe you were that scared."

"What," she asked blushing slightly, "it was a scary movie."

"You hid behind my robes more than you watched the movie."

"I said the movie was scary."

"Then why did you want to watch it?"

"It's tradition. My parents and I would do it every year." She shrugged, "Anyway, it's good to be scared at times."

"I think you just wanted to get closer to me." He laughed leaning back against the couch.

She blushed again, "You're crazy."

"Am I?" He asked leaning towards her, invading her personal space yet staying far enough away that she could back away if she had wanted.

She didn't back away but didn't lean into him either. She sat frozen in place watching him. She saw a look in his eyes she hadn't seen before, she couldn't tell what it was but it intrigued her. She remained frozen as he continued to come closer, finally pressing his lips to hers. She relished the feeling it caused, the excitement coursing through her veins. She was momentarily lost in the feeling but as soon as he leaned closer trying to deepen the kiss she backed away.

She averted her eyes quickly, "Sirius…" she said still slightly breathless, "we can't do this."

He fell back against the couch looking as if she'd punched him, "Why not? Didn't you like it?"

She shook her head, still not looking him in the eyes, "That's not it. You are my best friend and I can't lose that just because we are both lonely and want someone."

He still looked hurt, "You wouldn't lose me."

"I can't take that chance." She answered simply getting up from the couch, needing to put space between them.

She closed the door behind her, leaving him alone on the couch. He felt as if she had truly hit him in the chest. He knew that he was in love with her, but knew now that he'd screwed up.

…

That night as she climbed into bed she saw the diary sitting on her bedside stand. She didn't know what it was about the tiny book, but it seemed to be calling to her. Finally conceding she picked it up and opened it to the date that she'd left off on.

December 23, 1958

It's almost Christmas and I should be at home trimming the tree with my family, but I couldn't leave this year. I know I should have since it will probably be the last chance I have to spend Christmas with them, but I just couldn't leave the castle this year. I know it's stupid, all of my friends went home for the holiday, but I simply couldn't. I had this silly fantasy that I would be caught under the mistletoe with a certain Professor. That he would kiss me and then profess his undying love for me. I know it's laughable, but I can't help but wish it were true. Well it is partially true I guess. I did actually get caught under the enchanted mistletoe with him earlier today. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest when I realized that the only way that we'd be able to move again was to kiss. I held my breath praying that he wouldn't hear how fast my heart was beating. He sent a fleeting glance my way seemingly apologetically. Neither of us said a word as we both leaned in, knowing that it was the only way to get away. I felt my knees go weak as his lips met mine. It was anything but a passionate kiss, but I will never forget the feeling of his lips on mine. It ended far too fast for my liking but neither of us said anything nor could we look at each other after it. I know that he felt bad about doing it, that he feels nothing for me. I know I'm crazy, but I certainly hope that it happens again.

…

It was nearly three am when Victoria awoke to a pounding on the door. She thought for a moment that it was on her bedroom door being so loud, but as she got out of bed, throwing on a robe over her pj's, she realized that it was on the front door. Opening the door she was shocked to see Albus Dumbledore in front of her. His robes were rumpled and his hair disheveled a look she'd never seen on the usually neatly dressed man. "Where's Sirius?" he asked simply as she moved out of his way allowing him access to the flat.

Sirius came striding out of his room as the older man said his name. His eyes were bloodshot looking like he hadn't been to sleep yet. "What's the matter?"

"Sirius, it's James and Lily." Dumbledore said giving him an apologetic look.

"What?!" Sirius asked feeling his heart leap into his throat, "What happened to them?"

"They're gone." Dumbledore answered simply a deep sadness in his eyes.

"No! How? When? They can't be gone." Sirius rushed to him clutching at the man's robes in his fists.

"Voldemort." Was all Dumbledore could manage to say before he heard Sirius disapparate.

Victoria stood there in shock. She had known that the Dark Lord had been after them, but she thought that after this long he would have given up. She had taken it for granted the quiet time that they'd had of late. She knew that this would change all of their lives permanently. She looked up at Dumbledore after a few minutes in silence, hoping he could give her an answer to a question she didn't know how to voice.

He looked up at her knowing full well what she wanted to ask, "They got to him before we had a chance, Pettigrew."

Victoria closed her eyes, a tear trailing down her cheek. She wished that she'd killed him when she had the chance. She felt that somehow it was partially her fault; she'd saved him so many times after he had been captured.

Dumbledore seemed to sense her despair, "It is not your fault my dear. It is impossible to tell where true allegiance lies until the end."

His words failed to make her feel any better, another tear trailed down her cheek as she looked down. He suddenly did something that she never expected; he took her into his arms hugging her tightly. She wasn't sure if it was for her benefit or his own, but she let him hold her as she cried. It was true that she didn't know James and Lily, but she still felt that it was her fault that Sirius and Remus's best friend was dead because of her. A few minutes later, once her tears had subsided he let go of her.

"Thank you for telling us." She croaked out, her voice still thick from the tears.

"I'm sorry that it was required." He said crossing to the front door.

"I just hope Sirius doesn't do anything stupid." She said opening the door for him.

"As do I my dear, as do I." He sighed leaving.

She returned to her bed after closing the door. Crying herself to sleep with the thought of the family she felt as though she'd had a part in tearing apart.

…

Victoria arrived at work two days later with dark circles around her eyes. She hadn't heard from Sirius since the night the murders had happened and she hadn't slept worrying about him. Tom looked over at her as she pulled on her apron and started wiping down the bar. He gave her an apologetic look; he knew she had been friends with Sirius although he didn't know that Sirius had been staying with her. He handed her a copy of the Daily Prophet, "You want to read this."

She read the first few sentences and her knees buckled under her, causing her to fall to the floor. Tears started to flow from her eyes uncontrollably. Sirius had been sent to Azkaban. He had found Pettigrew and had killed him. She knew she would have done the same thing in his place, but it also meant she would never see Sirius again. Tom sent her home that night, knowing that she wouldn't be able to do her job.

A few minutes after she'd gotten back home Remus apparated in. They didn't say a word as they both sat on the couch crying in each other's arms. Neither knew what to say to comfort the other, so they simply remained silent. After a while Victoria looked up at him, "Do you think he really did it?"

"I wouldn't put it past him." Remus replied running a hand through his hair.

She nodded, "I would have if it were me."

He said nothing but nodded in agreement.

She was about to say something, but was cut off by a knock on her door. Getting up to answer it she was surprised to see Albus Dumbledore at her door again. "Miss Knight, may I come in?"

"Of course." She stepped aside letting him in. He nodded to Remus in acknowledgement and Remus gave him a slight smile back.

"I know this is not a good time for you, but I need to ask for your help once again."

She didn't feel like she was up for anything other than a night of wallowing in misery about her best friend, but she knew she couldn't say no to a mission. "What can I do for you Professor?"

"Although it is true that Voldemort is, at least for now, gone, I'm afraid that the Longbottoms are still in danger. All of his followers will now be going after them."

She nodded, "When do we leave?"

"Moody is waiting for you downstairs." He said simply, and then looked at Remus. "Mr. Lupin, I'm certain that it would be beneficial if you would join them."

Remus jumped to his feet immediately, "Certainly."

The three left the small flat joining Moody at the bottom of the stairs. Victoria gave the gnarled man a smile and Remus nodded in greeting. They each took one of his shoulders as they apparated away. Upon landing in the front of a small house they saw that they were already too late, Death Eaters had the place surrounded and some were already inside. Without a second thought the three had their wands out shooting spells at anyone in their way. Within moments they'd taken down all the Death Eaters that were stationed outside. Advancing inside Victoria's eyes shot open in shock as she saw two people lying on the floor writhing in pain. There were two Death Eaters standing above the figures laughing as jets of red continued to shoot out of their wands. One she immediately knew as Bellatrix, however the other man she didn't know.

From behind her, Victoria caught a shot of light fly from Moody's wand and hit the man in the chest, throwing the man back into the wall. Remus and Moody advanced on the man doing their best to take him down. Bellatrix stood there shocked, not expecting anyone to find them. Victoria took the advantage and started throwing a continuous line of spells in her direction, not knowing or caring if they connected or not. At that moment Victoria just wanted to cause as much pain as she could, letting out all the pain she felt for Sirius in hurting her. She wanted the woman to know exactly what she'd done to everyone else. Bella had been hit by a few spells, but was not hurt. She managed to shoot back until Victoria was knocked off of her feet. She jumped up knowing that if she stayed down she would be in the same predicament that the Longbottoms were in. Victoria shot another spell out, stunning the Death Eater. She walked over to her as if Bellatrix were a harmless bunny and smiled. Victoria saw the woman's dark eyes widen, terrified of what was going to happen to her. Victoria lowered her wand leaning over moving a stray black curl away from her ear and whispering, "I think a nice long holiday in Azkaban sounds great don't you."

…