Chapter 8

A/N:So this story is going to be a bit longer than I expected, its just not possible to cram all of the angst I had planned into so few chapters. I had originally planned to resolve everything in a few chapters but it couldn't be that easy for an idiot like Rin. Please stick with me and I hope you enjoy this new chapter! I like putting a lot of build up in stories ^^

((Reviews and comments are appreciated))

Rin avoided it for as long as possible, but he didn't think he could ignore Nitori any longer. When he had returned to his dorm room, Nitori lay on the top bunk reading a novel with a blank expression to his face. It was as if he was in a completely different place, all his own. His eyebrows were relaxed, and his eyes shifted along the pages at a steady pace. The redhead watched him read as he sat at his desk pretending to do homework. It had been a few hours since he returned to the dorm building with the thoughts about the text message. He didn't know how to go about this. Rin considered Nitori to be a close friend, even if he didn't act like it. Revealing parts of his past to the younger boy slowly had made them close, so he didn't understand why he would do something like this.

Tapping his pencil against the top of the wooden desk, Rin stood up. Now that he thought about it, Nitori must've deliberately climbed onto the top bunk to avoid Rin. It would've been painful to do such a thing. But it had been done. Rin took a deep breath before proceeding. He hated to think that Nitori intentionally deleted the message from Makoto, but he'd blatantly lied about it.

"Ai…" Rin called up at the underclassmen.

Aiichiro visibly stiffened at the sound of his name. He kept his eyes focused on his book refusing to confront Rin's speaking.

"Nitori", Rin tried again, his voice noticeably stern.

Nitori's gaze flicked towards Rin's guiltily before he put the bookmark in his book and closed it. Leaning over the edge of his bunk, he swung his legs over the side. Rin moved to assist him as he climbed down, but Nitori managed fine on his own. He winced as he stood before Rin, as if he already knew what was going to happen. Rin tried his best not to look angry, but he was already annoyed. Nitori was shifting in place trying to keep weight off of his ankle while shaking uncomfortably. He was determined to stand as level with Rin as possible.

"Did you delete a message from Makoto on my phone?" Rin was direct as always.

Unfolding his arms from his chest, he expect Nitori to at least make up some kind of excuse. He hadn't expected any kind of direct confrontation in any way.

"It's not fair…", Nitori gulped searching for confidence to back his voice.

Rin blinked and raised a brow. It wasn't exactly in character for Nitori to avoid his questions. It caught him off guard, but not as much as when he continued. Rin waited in the silence of the room for an explanation.

"I-I….I did", Nitori found himself. "But...i-it's just not fair…".

The younger boy's body slumped. He looked heavy enough to sink through the floor. One hand gripped his opposite forearm, as his nails dug into his sleeve. The usual sparkle in his blue eyes looked like a dull pasty color. Nitori bit into his lip, managing to make eye contact with his roommate.

"What?" Rin spoke with as few words as possible. He wanted to understand.

"I thought it was obvious, Senpai", Nitori's body seemed to swell with a new burst of vigor. "Everyone else knows".

"Knows what?" Rin had a vague idea.

"That I...That I like you", Nitori's face lit up with a visible flush, but he kept eye contact.

Rin tried to process what the underclassmen was saying. He'd been so caught up with his own problems he hadn't payed much attention to Nitori. It was true the other boy was a bit clingy, but they'd become close when Rin started to talk to him. Rin told Nitori things he didn't even think his old friends knew, but to like him? Rin couldn't wrap his head around the fact. He wasn't exactly the nicest person and he knew that. It was inconceivable that someone like Aiichiro would like him. He had to mean as a friend, right? Nitori was always there for Rin...but he never thought of him..like that.

"I..I really like you. I think about you all the time Senpai, and when i saw you talking about Makoto-senpai all the time I...got a little jealous…", he wrung his fingers out before him. "I just wanted you to be happy but...it's not fair…".

That confirmed it. There was no longer any doubt to it. Normally Rin would've been creeped out to hear that someone was thinking about him all the time, but it sounded similar to his own situation. Rin shoved his hands into his pockets and looked down at the floor. It was true girls had confessed to him before, but never like this. It felt a little more sincere. He had to live with Nitori after this. He shifted his weight awkwardly.

"Please don't think I'm weird…", Nitori's face fell as he looked as if he would make a break for it at any second.

"I don't…" Rin comforted him.

"Then-"

"But you already know that I like Makoto", Rin didn't understand. Nitori was the one to help him understand his feelings, even if it was unintentional.

"I-I...I know. But he doesn't know as much about Senpai as I do!" Nitori responded indignantly. "Matsuoka-senpai, you said that you told me things you wouldn't tell anyone else!"

"That doesn't change the fact that I like him", Rin started. "And you shouldn't delete shit off my phone!" he added trying not to raise his voice.

"But all you talk about is Makoto-senpai now!" Nitori knew he didn't usually act like this. "And its not fair!" his voice rose higher than Rin's had been.

"Not fair?! That doesn't give you the right to get in my way! I never once told you that I might like you!" Rin's temper drove his voice.

"I was always there for you Senpai! When you were sad! When you were happy! I tried my best, but it just seems like Makoto-senpai is the only one who makes you happy! ITS NOT FAIR!" the younger boy was starting to yell. Something Rin had never heard before.

"I can't help who I like! Fuck, if I could help that, this would be so much easier!", Rin's voice was coming from somewhere out of his control. It seemed not to be his own.

"What makes you think Makoto would even like you back?! How do you know he even likes guys?!" Nitori added hastily..

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!" Rin snapped.

Nitori staggered back and fell onto Rin's bed. His lips were parted gently, and his eyes were wide in what looked like confusion and fear. His smaller hands gripped the sheets on the bunk as he held back tears.

Rin first felt his hands shaking. Next, he noticed his chest heaving. Was he panting? There was an echoing in the room, ripping through the tension of the argument. Those last words didn't seem like his own. He couldn't remember ever saying it out loud. Twisting his fingers into his hair, he growled. He'd overreacted again.

What was he planning to do if Makoto rejected him?

The thought was like a punch in the gut. Taking a seat in the chair at his desk, Rin waited for his heart to stop thundering in his ears. He had to deal with the situation at hand before overthinking things…

"Senpai…" Nitori tried, his voice quiet as a whisper. "I've liked you ever since you first complimented my swimming...", he seemed like he was trying to convince himself of this.

Rin leaned back on his desk. He had to smooth this out. The two had to live together, and if they were going to yell like this it couldn't happen. The thought that Nitori would go so far as to interfere with Rin's affairs was a bit of a wake up call. He had no idea how to tell what kind of things Nitori would do, they basically lived together all the time. He gave his roommate the benefit of the doubt, but in the back of his mind wondered just how much time the other boy had spent simply staring at Rin. And he hadn't noticed.

"Nitori, if we were together, I would only hurt you", Like everything else he thought. "I already...like someone else".

"But I don't care if-"

"I do", Rin stopped him. "Don't do that to yourself", he felt that was the best thing he'd ever said to him as his senior.

Rin frowned. He looked at Nitori who was hugging himself on Rin's bed. He had just confessed his love for someone he knew wouldn't love him back. Standing up, Rin grabbed a bottle of water from their mini fridge. He held it out for the younger boy.

"I'll help you back up to your bunk", Rin grunted as Nitori took the drink.

Nitori was completely silent, which was also unusual for him. He didn't move an inch but simply stared at the floor between his legs. There wasn't much for Rin to do but sigh and let him stay there. He had never been good with words, but it seemed like Nitori was worse.

It was selfish of him to be this way. That was obvious. To let someone get so close to you and then not let them in, it was selfish in his own way. But in the back of his mind, Rin honestly had no idea how he had led his kouhai on. One of the perks of being dumb Rin thought. Letting the other boy sort his thoughts, he knew this would take time to fix. It was mostly his fault. He should've been more careful, but he'd just been so excited after he made up with his friends.

"Thank you", Rin spoke to Nitori.

The boy nodded knowingly. It was an unspoken agreement that Rin truly appreciated him, but simply couldn't force himself to like Nitori. It wouldn't end well. He had no idea what it felt like to have his heart broken, but he felt bad for Nitori. But never any pity.

The next morning made the previous evening feel like a dream. Rin had fallen asleep at his desk, because Nitori had passed out in his bed. It was a weekend, so when Rin roused, he simply stared at the papers on his desk. His head was throbbing but is was a distraction from the sharp pain in his neck. Through a half-lidded gaze, Rin was able to determine that it was late in the morning. Pulling himself off of his desk, he sat up and rested his forearm over his forehead. Taking a deep breath, his mind started to shift gears and sort things out.

He didn't know if he could stay in the same room as Nitori right now. The other boy liked him, and that honestly made Rin uncomfortable. He hated to think something like that would bother him, but it did. He guessed he could go home, and take the train to school. But on the other hand, it felt like he was running away from his problem. He and his roommate couldn't go back to the way things were, but Rin wished they could. He turned around in the chair cracking his back, and peeked at Nitori. The younger boy was passed out on Rin's bunk clutching his pillow to his chest. His small legs hung off the side of the bunk as he snored, letting drool run from his mouth.

Rin snorted. He looked like someone's little brother. Coming to a standing position, Rin looked at his phone on his night stand. The light on the front of the screen flashed, indicating a message in his inbox.

From: Unknown

Rin-chan~~~

Wake upppp~~~

Rin scrolled down to find multiple messages saying almost the same thing. They seemed to intensify in urgency as he scrolled down.

To: Unknown

Who is this?

Rin started to delete the messages when his phone buzzed again.

From: Unknown

Nagisa~!

Mako-chan gave me your number! :)

Rin scowled at his phone.

To: Nagisa

The hell do you want?

From: Nagisa

Rin-chan never hangs out with us! You should come to a sleepover at my house today :)

Rin wondered what was up with those damn smiley faces. He didn't quite understand why Nagisa was inviting him to hang out with everyone else, but he was sure Makoto was behind it. That guy was always trying to bring everyone together. Wondering whether he should attend or not occupied but a few minutes before he was interrupted by another text.

From: Nagisa

Haru-chan says you'll cry if I don't invite you…

To: Nagisa

Fine, I'll come…

What the hell was with that? Locking his phone's screen, Rin looked back at the window. It seemed to be around noon, and the day had just started. Nitori was snoring loudly on Rin's bunk so he didn't wake him. Stretching upward, Rin rolled his neck. If he was really going to be around the other guys, he wondered if he should invite Nitori.

As soon as the thought popped into his head, it popped right back out. That was not exactly the brightest of ideas he had ever had. Having the person he liked and the person who liked him in the same room was not a good idea. It didn't seemed like there was an easy solution to his current predicament. Thinking ahead, he realized that he really did wish the best for Nitori. But he couldn't just ignore his feelings.

With a sigh Rin packed up some things for staying overnight. He'd apparently convinced himself that he had to attend the sleepover. Knowing that Makoto would be there was more than incentive. Looking at the little shark tooth bracelet on his wrist, Rin pursed his lips. Maybe everything could back to the way it was, with all of the guys being friends. Rin thought he would be fine just being friends with Makoto, at least for now. It was better not to rush things, but Rin had never been the patient type.