****** This chapter contains a reference to Steve's SEAL brother, David Pappas (from my story BROTHERS IN ARMS); His back story will be discussed in a future chapter ******

The SUV came to a screeching halt at the emergency room entrance of the hospital. Danny opened the back door and Chin gently placed his beloved cousin into the waiting arms of his friend. Danny raced into the hospital screaming for help with Chin right behind him.

An orderly appeared with a stretcher and Danny gently laid her down while stating, "Gunshot wound, possible punctured lung….hurry please"
Moments later the stretcher was being pushed through the exam room doors as Chin and Danny stood by watching helplessly.
Chin leaned back against the tiled wall across from the door, looking through the small window in front of him as the medical lifted Kono onto the exam table and two Doctors began cutting away her clothing. Danny stood a few feet away running a blood soaked hand through his hair. He then bent over, placing his hands on his knees as he again battled a nausea that nearly overwhelmed him.

Moments later a young Nurse came from the room asking, "Excuse me. Are you family?"
Chin responded, "Yes, she's my cousin. We're all cops. Is she okay?"
The Nurse spoke soothingly "We're giving her blood transfusions and we're prepping her for surgery. The Doctor will be out in a few minutes to talk to you"

Chin nodded, saying softly "Thank you" As she re-entered the exam room, Danny moved to Chin's side and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He spoke calmly, "Chin, she'll be okay. We got her here fast, they're taking good care of her"

Chin's voice shook with fear as he responded, "She was drowning in her own blood Danny. Oh God, I can't lose her…I can't"
"She's young and strong. We have to believe that she'll be okay" They turned as a Doctor emerged from the room.
Shaking hands with the men he introduced himself as Dr. Ronald Clark. Chin asked, "Is she going to be okay Doctor?"

The Doctor's eyes met Chin's, "We'll do everything we can for her but she is critical. You got her here quickly and were giving her blood transfusions now. The bullet is lodged in her lung. We're taking her into surgery immediately. You can wait in the waiting room and I'll send a Nurse in periodically to update you"

Danny grabbed Chin by the upper arm as he responded, "Thank you Doctor" Chin watched through the window as the Doctor moved back to his cousin's side. Danny's grip tightened, "Come on brother, let's go"
The men walked slowly down the long corridor to the waiting room.
Danny's mind was racing, 'Oh dear God what else can happen? These last few months have been so hard on all of us. Starting with Malia's death, things have been spiraling downward. Chin had pulled back from all of us, trying to handle everything on his own, not wanting to be a 'burden'. Then he was kidnapped by Paul Delano and after he survived that, things began to slowly get better. He had opened up more to me and Steve over beers one night about ten days after the kidnapping. That night he talked, he cried and he finally truly grieved. Then there was Doris….her return had been as much a curse as a blessing for Steve. He loved his Mother, yet all the pain and sense of loss he had experienced as a teenager rushed back to him with her return. I've watched Steve struggle with his feelings for her. Hell, the man had thought his Mother was dead, dead and buried for twenty years for God's sake! That secret, that betrayal had led to the break-up of the McGarrett family and eventually to John McGarrett's death. Doris returned not seeming to understand the long lasting affects her decision to disappear had on her son. She expected him to 'just move on' and when he had troubles doing that, he experienced guilt. Now she had disappeared again and as much as Steve said he was 'alright' I know better. I see the pain in his eyes. So much so that I stopped bringing up the topic to him. Now with his mind messed up because of the meth, he's dealing with feelings of Doris, of Emily and of Chad. All the good that man has done, all the lives he has saved…none of it mattered in his mind right now. All he felt was pain and heartache. Then there was Matty. My beloved Matty…..and now Kono. Sweet, beautiful Kono. Chin wasn't the only one who couldn't imagine losing her. Kono was the heart of 5-0. Whether she knew it or not, she kept the three of us in line. She kept us grounded. We can't lose her, not now…..not ever'

As they entered the waiting room Danny motioned to the restroom, "Hey why don't you go wash up"
Chin didn't speak, he simply nodded and made his way to the bathroom. Danny pulled out his cell and dialed Steve.
Catherine answered, "Hi Danny"
"Cath, is my boy awake"
"Hang on, he's just finishing up in the bathroom"
"Catherine….Kono's been shot"
"What? Oh my God…..no…no"
Danny heard Steve in the background, "Cath? What's wrong?" She handed him the phone, "Danny?"
"Steve...it's Kono. She's been shot"
Catherine watched as the blood drained from his face, "How bad?"
Danny paused briefly, "It's bad babe, it's really bad"
"Where was she hit Danno?"
Danny hesitated slightly before responding, "Her upper side. Steve….."
Seconds passed and Steve pleaded, "What Danny?"
"Her lung is punctured" Steve felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. All he could think about was Chad as Danny continued, "Steve, listen to me. She's in good hands. They're getting her into surgery quickly. She'll be okay"

"We'll be right there"
"Steve...Chin and I both need a change of clothes"
Steve closed his eyes, knowing what that meant "Got it buddy"
As Steve put clothes in a bag for the men, Catherine called a cab and soon they were enroute to the hospital.

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Steve and Catherine entered the waiting room to find Danny sitting at a table while Chin stood at a large window staring aimlessly at the hospital parking lot. It had begun to rain and the skies had grown dark.
As Steve approached the table, Danny stood and the sight of him stopped the SEAL dead in his tracks. The detectives' blue and white striped shirt was covered in blood.

Danny spoke first, "Hey"
Steve nodded, "Hey. Any news?"
"No. The Doc said they would keep us updated"
"I talked to Chief Jessup on the way over here. Dern fired shots at them for about twenty minutes before they stormed the house. He put a bullet in his head before they could take him. He was holding a picture of his two boys"

Danny said softly, "So it looks like he snapped"
Catherine responded, "Yeah but I'll never understand why anyone would kill innocent people"
Steve took her hand, "In his eyes we're not innocents"
Danny added, "Matty certainly wasn't innocent. None of this would have happened if my brother had kept his hands clean. I'm so sorry Steve"

"This isn't your fault Danny. If you get right down to it, I'm to blame. I helped Matt elude the cartel and I arranged for him to be in Witness Protection. I killed Ocinco's nephew and several of his men….I put that target on our heads"

"It's not surprising that you would take all the responsibility for this, but that's bullshit and you know it. I killed Ocinco's cousin and bottom line my friend is...…MY brother is to blame for this"

Catherine's voice was shaking as she spoke softly, "I think both of you are full of shit" The two men looked at her incredulously as she added, "You both did what you had to do….that's all. Neither one of you is to blame so get your heads straight and please…..please stop...…"

Catherine began to cry and Steve pulled her into an embrace, "Honey, sshhhhhhh…. it's going to be okay"
Danny touched her shoulder briefly and then taking the bag from Steve he moved to the bathroom to change.
Steve kissed the top of her head, "Are you okay?"
"I hate to see you two fight"
"Fight? We aren't fighting"
"Well….you're disagreeing"
"We disagree all the time sweetheart, every day... we're all overly emotional right now, that's all"
"You know this isn't your fault Steve, don't you?"
Saying what she needed to hear at the moment, he said quietly "I know...…thank you"
Her head was resting on his chest and she watched Chin as he stared out at the rain pelting against the glass in front of him.
She asked, "Is Chin going to be okay?"
"I think it's too soon to answer that…...I need to check on him" Kissing her cheek, she sat at the table and he moved over to Chin.

He stood next to Chin for several minutes without saying anything, staring out at the darkening sky.
Chin broke the silence, "I can't lose her Steve"
"You're not going to lose her…..…we're not going to lose her. You can't let your mind go their buddy. You have to stay strong"
Steve was struggling to believe his own words as his eyes took in Chin's blood-soaked clothes.
Chin paused before saying, "I held her in my arms and she couldn't breathe…..…she was choking on her own blood Steve and I couldn't help her…God I couldn't help her" His voice was choked with emotion and tears slid down his cheeks.

Steve responded, "Look at me brother" Chin turned his head and looked into Steve's eyes, "Chin, you took care of her. You did everything you could. The Doctors are taking good care of her"
Chin again choked out the words, "I can't lose her"
After a brief hug, Chin moved to the bathroom to change while Steve grabbed coffee for himself and Cath.

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The four friends spent the next couple of hours mostly in silence, all deep in their own thoughts.

Chin thought of Malia, the love he had lost that came back him, only to be taken from him so brutally.

Danny thought of Matthew, remembering the inquisitive boy who would do anything to please his older brother but as an adult that idolization had made him too embarrassed to come to him when he got into trouble…..until it was too late.

Catherine worried about Steve, she had known and loved this man for eight years and she was seeing a vulnerability in him that she had never seen before. She had watched him experience devastating losses in the past, but now with his struggle with addiction every loss he had so stoically endured, every betrayal he had suffered through were coming back to him as fresh, painful wounds. She had to report back to the Gulf in five days and the thought of leaving him at this time absolutely terrified her.

And Steve thought of Emily, Chad and Christina. He thought of Jack Lynch, David Pappas, Freddie Hart and the other brave men he had loved and lost over the years. He thought of his Dad…he thought of his Mom, and he thought of Danno. He couldn't keep his mind from drifting to one question, what was all the pain and suffering for? He remembered his beloved Aunt, his Dad's sister Karen. She had tried so hard to help him heal from his Mothers 'death' and the separation from his Dad and Mary. She had done a wonderful job providing for, and nurturing him as he matured into adulthood but she could not replace his Mother…and to her credit, she never tried.

And they all thought of Kono, their beloved friend who was fighting for her life a short distance away.
After what seemed like an eternity, a Nurse entered the waiting room…..

********* TO BE CONTINUED…..I hope you're still liking? I PLANNED on finishing this week but my world of reality allowed me very little time to indulge in my world of fantasy. I'll TRY to finish this week-end, I promise! **********

God Bless the people of Boston and Texas affected by this week's tragedies