Ch 14
A/N: Hey guys. I'm so sorry it took so long to update but if any of you have had to move across the country you will understand why it took me so long. I really want to thank all of you for sticking with me so far. All of the reviews mean more to me than you'll ever know. Alright now on with the story.
...
When she entered the Three Broomsticks the first thing Victoria saw was the smiling face of her good friend Remus Lupin. He was seated at a table near the fireplace waiting for her. She nearly ran to him, throwing her arms around him in a warm hug. "Merry Christmas, Remus." She mumbled while still in his embrace. "It's been too long."
"That it has." He smiled releasing her and taking his seat again. "I hope you don't mind I ordered each of us a Butterbeer."
"Thank you!" She happily took a sip from her mug. Setting the mug down again she asked, "So what happened? You promised me you would see me every Hogsmeade weekend."
He looked down at his mug, averting his gaze, "I know. I guess I'm just a little worried about some of the teachers seeing me."
"Why? It's not like you're a student anymore. They have no authority over you."
He heaved a sigh, "I'm not worried for myself. It's you."
"Me?" She asked looking at him like he'd gone crazy. "Why are you worried about me?"
"There are certain teachers there that know about my… problem. If they see you associating with me they will… think less of you."
She shook her head, "Remus, how many times do I have to tell you this. I don't care what other people say. You're my friend. Let other people think what they will."
He sighed again, "You say that now."
"And I will keep saying it. You're one of my best friends and that will never change. We may not be living as close anymore, but that doesn't mean that I will change what I think about you."
He nodded, still not believing a word that she said, but chose to end their debate. He took a sip of his drink then his eyes lit up, "I almost forgot. I have something for you."
"Remus, you didn't need to get me anything."
"I seem to remember you saying that last year as well."
"I did say that last year. That's because it's true, you didn't need to get me anything. Just seeing you again was good enough for me."
He smiled, "I do apologize then, but I did get you something." He handed her a thin wrapped package. She looked at it quizzically for a moment. Tearing the paper carefully away from the package she saw that it was a very thin box. Opening the box she found what looked like a blank piece of parchment.
"Umm… thank you?" she said still unsure what to think about this present.
He laughed taking the paper from her, "This is no ordinary piece of parchment." He took his wand out of his pocket and held it next to the paper, flashing a smile at her. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
She watched as words started to form on the parchment, "What is this?"
"It's exactly what it says," He handed it back to her, "the Marauder's map. Sirius, James, Peter, and I made it when we were still in school. It will show you the entire castle and anyone in it at all times."
"How in the world did you ever make this?" she asked opening the map up, amazed at the significant detail.
"Some advanced magic, and a lot of time exploring the grounds."
She let out a laugh, "A lot of it when you weren't supposed to I assume."
He took a sip from his mug, choosing to ignore the comment. "There is one more thing. You need to say 'Mischief managed' when you're done or anyone can see it."
"This is amazing Remus. Thank you really." She set the map back in the box and took out a package from her own robes.
He took it from her smiling, "Can I guess that it's not another book?"
She laughed, "No it's not another book."
He pulled the paper off and laughed, "Chocolate. How did you know?"
"Are you kidding? The entire time that we lived together my flat was covered in chocolate wrappers! I just remembered this was your favorite."
"It is." He said tearing open the wrapper and breaking off a piece for each of them."
She smiled taking a bite of the luscious chocolate, letting it melt on her tongue. "Oh, you didn't really think that was your only present did you?"
He looked at her quizzically, "It is the only thing you've given me."
She chuckled, "I guess you're right." She reached into her pocket and pulled out another small package. Reaching into another pocket she pulled out her wand and pointed it at the package enlarging it. When she was done the package was about twice the size of the chocolate bar she'd given him, but nearly as thin. Handing him the wrapped package she smiled.
He shot her another curious look, but took the package from her and ripped it open. What he held in his hands looked much like a mirror, but it didn't show what he was looking at, what he saw was the interior of a room with blue curtains and mismatched furniture. "Thank you?"
She burst out laughing, "It's a two-way mirror. Mine is up in my rooms already. This way we can actually see each other while we're apart. This one is special though, you can actually talk through it."
"This is wonderful. It's the best present I've ever gotten." He got up from the table and went around wrapping her in another hug.
"Thank you for another wonderful Christmas Remus." She smiled pulling away from him.
"Victoria, it's only Christmas Eve."
"I know, but you made my Christmas, just getting to see you."
He smiled, "And you made mine as well."
…
The next morning Victoria awoke in a strange mood. Usually Christmas morning was an exciting time, but she was more or less resigned to the fact that the night before would be the best part of the holidays for her. Of course she'd made friends at Hogwarts over the last few months, but it was different. The only people she felt really close to was Poppy, who she worked with every day, and Tonks, who she saw nearly as much.
When she pulled back the curtains around the bed she was more than a little shocked to find a pile of presents on her trunk. She picked up the one closest to her and unwrapped it. It was a small jar with a note attached, "Victoria- Thank you for making this year a great one. It has sincerely been a pleasure working with you and hope you have enjoyed it as well as I have. I know you hate the paperwork as much as I do so I hope this will help. –Poppy". She turned the bottle over and saw the label, laughing as she read that it was self-correcting ink. It would be like Poppy to give her something like that, only she knew how horrible she really was at spelling.
The next one was very obviously a book. She opened the card first, "I hope this will help you. I have had a copy of it for many years and it has come in useful quite often. –Minerva". Victoria set the card aside and ripped back the paper to reveal The Healer's Helpmate. She smiled, it was in true Minerva fashion, not only a book, but one that was sure to be used.
After that she saw a strange looking object. Not being able to hold back her curiosity any longer she picked up the rather large object. Yet again there was a card attached, "Victoria- This has been extremely useful to me over the years, I hope you find it does the same for you." Strangely this card was not signed. Tearing the covering from the strange object she was in shock as she saw what was beneath. She knew instantly it was a lunascope, a strange looking astronomical model that shows the phases of the moon. It was something she'd wanted to get as soon as she started making the Wolfsbane for Remus, but hadn't had the money to. She was curious as to who would have given her such an extravagant gift, but decided just to be gracious and accept it.
After a few more minutes she was finished opening all of her gifts and looked at the clock. It was after 10, she knew the celebration should be in full swing so she dressed and went to the Great Hall.
As she walked down the halls she smiled as she passed the suits of armor glowing with everlasting candles and singing Christmas carols. Luckily she was paying enough attention and sidestepped the enchanted mistletoe a few times. Once she'd reached the Great Hall she couldn't believe how beautiful the scene in front of her really was. There was snow falling from the enchanted ceiling, but this snow was warm and dry. The twelve Christmas trees were all decorated differently, each having been decorated by a different staff member. There were icicles hanging off of each table. Her favorite part was the real fairy lights that were lighting the room.
The day's festivities had apparently just begun for the day. The students and staff all sat at one table together instead of the separate house tables. She chose a seat between Poppy and Tonks. The girl smiled at her, "Wotcher Vicky!"
"Good morning Tonks." Victoria smiled, choosing not to correct Tonks when she called her Vicky. The only other person that could get away with calling her that had been Sirius, but it seemed to sound right when both of them said it.
"I got something for you." Tonks pulled out a poster from her robes and handed it to Victoria.
"Tonks, really you didn't have to." Victoria said taking the poster from her.
"I know I didn't have to, but I thought you would like it." Tonks smiled.
Victoria smiled looking at the poster, it was the Weird Sisters, "How did you know these guys were my favorite band?"
Tonks shrugged, "I guessed."
Victoria laughed, "Thank you."
"You're welcome. And don't worry about it, I know the staff can't give the students presents." Tonks smiled again getting up from her seat and leaving the Great Hall with a wave.
Poppy smiled at Victoria, "Like I said, that girl has a heart of gold."
"That she does Poppy." Victoria shook her head smiling and placing the poster in her pocket.
A moment later, Professor Dumbledore took the seat that Tonks had just left, "Good morning Miss Knight."
"Good morning Professor."
"How are you enjoying your holidays?" He asked taking a candy cane from the pile of sweets that littered the table.
"It's been great. I had a little celebration with Remus last night, so it really made it a great time."
"I'm pleased to hear that." He smiled breaking off a piece of the candy and popping it into his mouth.
"Oh that reminds me, I forgot to give you your present." She said pulling out an oddly shaped package from her robes.
"This is a surprise." He took the present from her and examined it for a moment before starting to tear away the wrapping. Inside was a pair of purple wool socks with bright red and gold flying phoenixes on them.
Victoria smiled, "They've even got a warming charm on them."
He laughed as he held them up. "Thank you, this is wonderful."
She shrugged, "It's what I used to get my dad every year for Christmas. Obviously they didn't have phoenixes on them, and they weren't wool, but it was always socks."
"Well then I'm honored to be the recipient this year." He smiled warmly at her.
"You're welcome." She smiled back.
…
Minerva had just left her rooms, turning down the corridor towards the Great Hall, when she was met with a strange barrier. She didn't know what was going on until she looked up and saw a small sprig of white flowers with green leaves. Sighing in exasperation she realized that she'd been caught by the enchanted mistletoe. This had only happened to her once before, but she knew that there was only one way out.
Luckily, or unluckily, her savior came a moment later as Albus Dumbledore walked out of the Great Hall towards her. "Good afternoon Minerva." He said happily, unaware of their predicament.
"Good afternoon Professor." She answered glumly.
"Is there a problem?"
"I would say so." She pointed at the ceiling.
"I see. I do remember being in a similar situation many years ago." He smirked remembering the day well.
"As do I." She blushed imperceptibly, irritated she continued, "I also remember there's only one way out of this."
He looked slightly hurt, "I didn't think it was that much of an inconvenience."
She sighed again, but still didn't apologize, "Shall we get on with it?"
He merely nodded and leaned into her. The moment their lips met they both felt a shiver of electricity flow through their bodies. The barrier was broken instantly, but neither moved, each wanting it to last a little longer.
Finally she stepped back first, a blush painting her cheeks. "I… I should go." She turned away from him and sped back up the stairs, putting as much distance between them as fast as she could.
He shook his head watching her. He kept reminding himself that it was only a matter of time, sooner or later she would realize what she really wanted.
…
That night as the festivities in the Great Hall became a little more raucous, due to the fact that the students had already gone to bed and the amount of alcohol being consumed by the staff, Poppy and Minerva chose to seek refuge in a quieter place. They chose the hospital since Poppy didn't want to stay away from there too long in case anyone did anything stupid at the party.
Poppy had just taken out a bottle of red currant rum and two glasses from her rooms and brought it out for the two of them. Minerva gave her a look of wonder, but Poppy just shrugged, "It's a special occasion Minerva. We can let our hair down every once in a while."
Minerva didn't say anything for a moment but nodded, pouring some for each of them and putting a refilling charm on each of their glasses, "Merry Christmas Poppy."
"Merry Christmas Minerva." Poppy smiled, clinking their glasses together before taking a sip.
Minerva sat back in her chair savoring the sweet taste. The burn of the alcohol made her think back to a night many years before that she'd spent drinking in the castle, especially after being stuck with Albus under the mistletoe again. She let out a long sigh closing her eyes.
Poppy eyed her friend curiously, "Is everything alright?"
Minerva opened her eyes and leaned forward in her chair again, "I'm just reminiscing. It's nothing really."
"You know you can tell me," Poppy looked at her pointedly, expecting Minerva to continue evade her.
Minerva gave a light sigh again, "There are many things."
"Such as?"
"I got stuck under the mistletoe this afternoon." Minerva said, taking another sip.
"Really?" Poppy smiled, the image of her best friend being forced to kiss someone was rather amusing to her.
"Yes." Minerva said stiffly.
"And who was it that helped you escape?" Poppy asked bring her glass up to her lips again.
"Albus."
The drink that Poppy was intending to swallow managed to get caught in her throat. Coughing and sputtering she managed to choke out, "Who?"
"It was Albus."
Finally catching her breath again Poppy asked, "So you and Albus kissed?"
Minerva shook her head angrily, "Yes Poppy, Albus and I kissed. How else were we supposed to get away?"
"Well?" Poppy asked her eyes shining mischievously.
"Well what?"
"How was it?"
Minerva shook her head blushing slightly, "You sound like a silly school girl."
"Come on Minerva, indulge me." Poppy laughed.
"It was… short."
Poppy's smile faded, "That's all?"
"What would have me say Poppy?" She asked pausing to take a drink, "That as our lips met we both felt electricity and as we parted we vowed our unending love? That's not how it worked."
"You mean you didn't feel anything?" Poppy asked a tone of unhappiness in her voice.
"I didn't say that. It's more complicated than that. After our history it's inevitable I feel something when I kiss the man, but what can I do about it?"
"You can finally admit that you still have feelings for him." Poppy countered.
Minerva shook her head, "It's not that easy."
"And what is so hard about it? All you have to do is be honest with yourself. I know you Min, I see the way you are around him every day. You've been trying to suppress it for nearly 30 years now. When are you going to wake up?"
"What would you have me do Poppy? Go up to him and say 'Oh by the way Albus, that night wasn't a mistake. I love you and think we should be together.' It's preposterous."
"I wouldn't start with that, but it's not bad."
"It's not that simple Poppy. I'm his deputy headmistress, what would the governors think?"
"Who cares what they think? You have proven your skill time and again. It's time for you to be happy."
"You're one to talk." Minerva retorted.
"What do you mean?" Poppy asked, truly taken aback.
"I seem to remember a certain Auror that you got very close to when you were working at St. Mungo's."
Poppy blushed furiously, "That… that's different. Alastor and I… we're friends."
Minerva laughed, "You forget, we did live together at the time. You couldn't stop talking about him."
Poppy shook her head, "Nothing ever came of it. We're friends, nothing more."
"It seems to me that you could take some of your own advice." Minerva smiled, happy to finally have the tables turned.
"Min, Moody wasn't interested in me then, and he certainly isn't now."
"What makes you think that?"
"Please, it's enough. I really don't want to talk about it." Poppy said looking dejected, remembering the time well. It was true that she hadn't tried very hard, but she had given the man enough hints she thought that he'd gotten the clue, that is if he'd wanted it.
Minerva shook her head again and took another sip from her glass, hoping that Poppy would find another topic. Much to her chagrin she did.
"So what do you think about Victoria?" Poppy asked watching Minerva closely to see her reaction.
"What about her?" Minerva asked averting her eyes.
"Come on Minerva. Isn't it a little obvious?"
"I don't know what you mean Poppy."
"Minerva, she looks exactly like you."
"She has black hair and my build. There are a million women in the world who could say the same. It proves nothing."
"You must be joking. She's the absolute image of you when you were her age, except she has Albus's eyes."
"And no one else in the world could possibly have the same color eyes as Albus I suppose?" Minerva retorted quickly.
"What about her name? You told me you named your daughter Victoria just before you gave her away." Poppy countered.
"Yes I did, but Victoria is a common name."
Poppy shook her head, "How much more do you want? She's even from the States! The couple that you adopted her to had just moved to the States!"
"I understand all of that, but what are the odds of my daughter that I gave up 28 years ago just happens to get a position at the same school that both her father and I work at? It seems a bit implausible to me."
"You simply don't want to admit it to yourself." Poppy said simply, "She's your daughter Minerva, I know she is. She is just like you, or at least what you used to be like."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Minerva asked angrily.
"Min, you have to admit it, you've changed. When we went to school you were much more outgoing and… well happy. You have gotten so closed off."
Minerva shook her head again her voice now thick with the tears starting in her eyes, "Poppy, you get rejected by the only man you've ever loved and then have your baby girl ripped away from you all in the same year. Then you tell me if you wouldn't be closed off."
"I really didn't mean to offend you Min. I understand, you've been hurt, but that doesn't mean that you can just give up."
"You didn't see the look in his eyes that morning Poppy. You didn't hold her in your arms. I could never be the same after that." Minerva took a sip from her glass, and then added in a whisper, "No one could."
"I realize that, but how much longer are you going to kick yourself for your past. It's time to let it go."
A single tear streaked down her cheek, "I don't know Poppy. I don't know."
…
That night as Victoria made it back to her bed she was feeling a lot lighter than she'd expected to that night. The day had gone much better than she had thought it would, and the evening had been a lot of fun.
Many of the staff members stayed in the Great Hall after the students had gone to bed for their own party. She wound up not drinking much but it was still very amusing seeing another side of the staff members. The best part of the night came at the end where they caught Professor Sprout and Professor Flitwick making out in the corner. That was when many of the staff including Victoria had decided to call it a night.
Climbing into her bed she pulled out the diary once again. She didn't know what made her do it, being as tired as she was, but she felt like she needed to read that night. Opening it to the page she'd left off. The first thing she noticed was the splotches on the page that looked like tear stains. It was strange, this was the first time she'd seen it in the entire book.
September 8, 1959
Today my life has ended. I don't know how it will ever be the same again. I am pregnant. Even writing the words now I can't believe it. I have a baby growing inside me. This little person is a part of me, but more than that it's a part of him as well. I knew that something was wrong a few weeks ago, but I guess I just didn't want to admit it. This morning when I found myself leaning over the toilet I knew that I had to make sure. Well sure enough it's true. I feel like the entire world is crashing down around me. I didn't know what to do. I'm supposed to train to be an Auror this spring. I have my whole life ahead of me. I certainly can't tell him. I know he'll do the admirable thing and want to marry me for the baby, but I can't do that to him. I want him, but I don't want it to be like that. If we get together I want it to be because we both want to be together. I love him, but I just can't do this to him. So after I found out I did the only thing I could. I went to the Ministry. I filled out the paperwork and now my baby is going to be someone else's. I don't know how I'm going to be able to give them away, but I don't see a way to keep them. I want them to have their best chance, and that won't be with me. I only hope that they aren't hurt by what I do and see that it's all for the best.
…
The next day most of the students spent the day in their common rooms, while most of the staff went into hibernation nursing hangovers. Victoria however, knew this was the perfect time to work on the Wolfsbane.
She'd spent most of the afternoon putting the potion together until she heard the door to the classroom open. Turning around she was surprised to see Snape walking towards her. He didn't look at her as he continued towards her, choosing to keep his eyes on the floor. She eyed him curiously; this was not like him in the least, "Professor Snape?"
"Miss Knight." He said simply, not looking at her but into the cauldron.
"Can I help you Professor?"
"I… I saw you the other night in the Three Broomsticks." He stated awkwardly.
She nodded, finally understanding where he was going, "Did you?"
"Yes." He answered walking to the other side of the cauldron, trying to put some distance between them. "You were with a person I went to school with."
"Really? I didn't know you went to school together." She crossed her arms in front of her.
"Yes, we were in the same year. In different houses though."
"I see."
"I wanted to let you know…" he paused, trying to find the correct words. Then looking into her eyes he said, "I understand."
She waited, wondering for a moment if he was actually going to apologize.
"The classroom is at your full disposal, if you should ever need it."
She smirked, realizing that what he said was as close to an apology as she'd ever get. "Thank you."
"There is something else." He said looking away from her again.
"What is it?" She asked walking over and turning down the flame so that the potion stayed at a gentle simmer.
"Can you come with me for a moment?" He looked up at her again for a second.
She knew that all that was left to do with the potion was to let it simmer for another half hour, but she wasn't sure if she should go with him. The idea that she was now trusting someone she knew to be a former Death Eater nagged at her. However, she chose to give him a chance and nodded, following him out of the classroom.
He led her to his office letting her in first and closing the door behind them. She'd been in the room before, but something was different about the place this time. It took her a moment to figure out what it was, but when she spotted the cauldron bubbling in the corner of the room she knew what it was instantly. The characteristic spiraling steam coming up from the cauldron and the mother-of-pearl sheen on the top of the potion made it obvious. The scent of the potion though was what made her walk over to it. She could smell lavender and vanilla, but there was another scent there that she couldn't quite distinguish. She looked over to him, "Amortentia, I didn't think that you would need a love potion Professor."
He looked away from her quickly, not allowing her to see the imperceptible blush creeping up his neck, "It's for my fifth years. They're just getting to love potions."
She laughed sensing his uneasiness, "A likely story." She joked trying to alleviate his discomfort. Seeing that it did nothing she went on, "What is it that you wanted to show me?"
He walked over to a door and opened it revealing his private stores. Pulling out a glass vial he handed it to her, "I know it's a little late, but Merry Christmas."
She took the vial from him and was shocked as she looked at the small purple plant, "Lavender?"
"Yes, I thought it would help. It can be used to help sooth burns and headaches." He stated awkwardly.
"It's also one of my favorite scents." She smiled up at him, "Thank you."
"You're welcome." He remarked quickly, turning away from her to close the door again.
She didn't know what else to say, not really having anything for him in return. Thinking about it for a moment she reached into her pocket. She pulled out a vial with a bright red powder in it. Handing it to him she smiled, "My father gave this to me the day I set off for England. It's dragon's blood, well obviously not from real dragons, but that's what it's called. It helps with healing as well, but I've never used it for that. He told me as long as I kept it with me it would keep me safe."
He looked between the vial in his hand and her, "Are you sure? This sounds rather important."
She smiled, "I want you to have it. Merry Christmas." She turned and left the room before he could argue any further.
…