All Inuyasha properties belong to Rumiko Takahashi. I'm just futzing around with her ideas.
I just wanted to give a big shout out to Someones Desire for reviewing the past two chapters. Also my thanks goes to: IKasha, MegaKiraraLover, Someones Desire, fiona91, and tigeraangel for putting this on their alerts; as well as MegaKiraraLover and Someones Desire for putting this on their favorites. I appreciate the support!
Enjoy!
oOo
The wolf never ran out of stories. He had funny ones about his pack and about little pups taking their first breath of spring air. He had bittersweet ones about a perverted monk and a fierce demon slayer and their brood. He had ones about Inuyasha that never failed to make her cry. He tried to stop telling her them, but she smiled and placed a hand on his arm.
"Please," she would ask. "I-I just… I just miss them all so much. I want to hear everything you know."
And he was willing to give her anything she asked for, even all of his memories.
That spot under the Goshinboku where she had cried for Kouga's rival, became their spot. It was not a really nice place to sit. The tree's branches had prevented rainfall from reaching that little half-circle of space. So there was no grass to cushion them, just dirt that stuck to their backsides and roots that dug into their legs. The sun hardly reached it either, so when it got chilly, the breeze would cause Kagome to shiver. The tree was hard against their back and there was a laundry list of things that they could both find fault with that little spot.
For all the faults it did have, it also had some things that endeared them both to the spot. It was secluded enough to be private, but not private enough to be uncomfortable. It was an undeniable link to their shared past. They could feel the ancient energy emitted by the plant and sometimes felt very young compared to this stalwart. There were two giant roots that surrounded the spot and they fit perfectly sitting side by side in that little alcove.
So every Monday, he would come and tell her a story.
"Why Monday?" She would ask when he said that was the only day he could spare.
"It's my day off." He stated. The truth was that he needed the disciplined schedule, because he would come every day if he could.
But he was determined not to scare her off, so he gave himself a schedule, a regime. No sudden declarations of love would come from him. Oh no. If he only saw her one day a week, he could tamp down on his impulsiveness to just give in, sweep her away and just kiss her already. Maybe it was his impulsiveness that scared her off before. Maybe he just needed to be structured, calmer.
Maybe she had never returned his advances in the Feudal Era because she was in love with someone else.
The thought stung sharply at his heart so he abandoned thinking about it for too long. Even when he gave in and told her a story about Inuyasha, he ignored his fierce jealousy.
She might still be in love with someone else. And while Kouga dreamed of a day when that would not be so, he honestly did not know what he would do if she was in love with him. He never grasped the concept that one day she could look into his eyes and proclaim her love and actually mean it.
His daydreams were leftovers from when he was still young and his viewpoints on love were naïve. He still thought love was a mighty declaration, so he thought he was hiding his adoration for Kagome well. He hid it behind the hugs and the pet names and his steady dedication to her. She never seemed to notice.
Then he would lock gazes with Hanako, and the woman knew-dammit-she knew how lost Kouga was. Because he had stopped seeing Kagome as his idolized teenaged crush. He saw her with her new curves and glimpsed the pain and bitterness behind her eyes and realized she was different. She was so painfully different from the sunny miko who had time for a wolf who threw around words like "mate" and "love" like they were nothing. Instead he found a miko who defined her life with words like "After" and "Before" like they defined when she had stopped being happy.
She had grieved, yes.
But she had never let go.
And she had a hard time with him, because she still saw him as the being from her past.
It made him angry sometimes. Not at her, only at fate.
He had changed. He had matured and learned what it was like to admire a woman compared to what it was like to love her. His duties had changed from being in charge of a clan, to being in charge of a whole way of life. His hair had been cut off, the sword at his hip had been replaced with a cell phone, his clothes had morphed with the passing styles and now he could only run freely in a place that transcended this plane.
So of course he had changed, and it threw the miko off. She had expected the person from her memories, not this strange creature who was secure enough in his power to refrain from spouting off words of superiority all the time.
He confined himself to Mondays because he wanted to take it slow. It was to prevent himself from becoming frustrated as the miko fused the teenager from her memories into the full-grown youkai he was now. The routine kept himself from reverting back to the awkward mess he had been that needed to spout off scary things like "I would do anything to see that darkness in your eyes disappear."
And well, he kept himself to Mondays because Hanako's eyes burned into him. She knew he could take her daughter. He could snare Kagome with stories of the past and steal her away. Or he could disappear and leave her with nothing but a shattered heart again. So out of respect, he stayed away for as long as he could. A whole week without her, to soothe a mother's soul.
I'm not going to hurt her if I can help it.
oOo
"So what exactly does a shrine maiden nowadays do?" Kouga asked, picking up another rice ball. He had picked her up an hour earlier, announcing his intentions on taking her on an impromptu picnic. Despite it being the rainy season, the day was particularly balmy and the wolf in Kouga wanted nothing more than to bask in the sun.
Kagome had asked him to give her a few minutes and then came back with a little basket full of food. Knowing he was coming, she had prepared a little meal for them to enjoy.
Now Kouga liked rice balls just as much as the next guy. But when Kagome asked if he liked them and admitted she had made the onigiri herself, he couldn't help thinking it was the best human food he had ever tasted. Would she do that, cook for him, if their relationship ever progressed to mating? Would she stand in their kitchen, lovingly pressing rice into the right shape with her lithe fingers?
He shivered and shoved the rice ball in his mouth before he said something stupid.
"Not much," Kagome sighed in response to his first question. "I used to deal with the tourists, but Mom's English is so much better than mine. After, I mostly started dealing with the regulars and those looking for old-fashioned comfort."
She looked out over the small park they were sitting in and started playing with the grass next to her legs. From her ankles to a few inches over her knees, her sundress bared those limbs to the world. Kouga would be a dirty liar if he didn't admit that they were a little distracting.
The despondency in her voice and scent kept his eyes firmly on her face this time. He carefully examined every minute movement and the little furrow in her brow, trying to ferret out the cause of the problem.
She avoided looking at him, which frustrated him. Kagome always refused to look at him when something was wrong. He wanted to help. He wanted her to stop hiding things from him.
The wolf youkai was about to reach for her hands when she brought them up to look at them.
"I just think that I used to feel so useless in the Feudal Era, because I could never control my power enough. Now I feel so useless because I have this power and I don't use it." She finally met his eyes, and his breath caught even as he kept his gaze characteristically steady.
She was confiding in him. And even though the hidden message in her gaze was not one of supplication, he felt like she would finally be receptive to his help. His scent spiked in excitement and he was a little grateful she could not smell it or else it would have been embarrassing.
Kagome continued. "There are couples, and the sick and people who come that I could help, and I try so hard. But how do you convince people to just accept a miracle healing? Even if it's not a miracle? I have all of this knowledge about traditional medicine, but people would never believe me."
Kouga thought about it and cautiously offered his advice. "Many people nowadays like traditional medicine more than they do doctors. And you're in a perfect position."
"How?" She blinked in surprise.
He grinned. "You're a shrine maiden. As a 'miko' you have more clout. You are learned about history, why not historical healing rituals as well? Many people would buy herbal medicines and teas from you, and if they're charged with a little reiki… well," he grinned playfully. "Who would know?"
Her eyes widened in wonder. "You mean… I could actually do something…" Her face broke out into a smile and she launched herself over at him to give him a tight hug. She pulled back and peered at his face. "You're crafty."
He grinned and wondered if he would be pushing his luck if he wrapped his arms around her too. "I know."
oOo
"So what does a wolf Prince nowadays do?" She asked as she swept a corner of her shrine compound. Kouga leant on a wall, carefully watching her with all of his senses. Her face was the picture of innocence but her scent was awash with curiosity.
He gave a small little huff of laughter, both at her coyness and at his old title. "Ah. I'm a little too old to be a Prince anymore."
Her eyes flickered up to his in apology. "I didn't realize-"
He waved it off. "You didn't know."
She stopped and wrapped her hands over the top of her broom, placing her chin on them. "So what is your title?"
"I have many. Some nicer than others." His eyes twinkled.
It was her turn to huff. Her pretty little lips turned down into a small pout. "You're not telling me anything. Why?"
It was her turn for her gaze to turn piercing. He looked away, suddenly unable to meet the gaze of the miko who had secured his affection so long ago.
"It's a long story."
"I love stories."
He studied her. Was he willing to tell her? Would she be able to handle it? He would have to think about it.
oOo
Kouga fiercely believed in keeping his work and his personal life separate. It was a fairly new idea, spawned by the different conditions of his life. Before, as a Prince, his pack was his life. Every part of it, even the "work" was so intertwined. His happiness was his people's happiness; the peace of his pack was his peace. Everything they did reflected on him in some way, and he depended on them just as much as they did him.
As things started to change and his pack left to find shelter from the humans that were taking over Japan, Kouga started to realize something. He was his own person. He was separated from his pack.
Technically, a wolf is never separate from their pack. Especially him, since he had formed such a strong bond with every one of them that accepted his authority. But when they went to the other side of the Great Divide, he was provided with a choice. Stay with the packmates that wanted to leave, or stay with the ones that did not mind blending into human culture. He wanted to be with both.
But even for youkai, some things are impossible. So he took the next best choice. He accepted Sesshomaru's offer. He would protect the Divide. In that way, he could jump to one side and visit some of his clan while always staying close to the others on the ningen side.
So close, and yet he still was not with anyone. As time moved on, Kouga had to learn how to live on his own. No more sleeping in a pile of warm bodies or waking up to a yawning pup. No more living and breathing and dying for his pack.
He had become solitary.
A lone wolf.
The concept was laughable, especially for someone as sociable as Kouga. In essence, he still was Pack Leader. He still made the major decisions and still was responsible for the safety and well-fare of his wolves. But he was so…separated.
His instincts hated it. The physical and mental space between him and everyone was so great now.
So when he was attacked, his instincts reached out to the only one he had begun to feel that overwhelming closeness with again. Despite his mind's protests: work was supposed to be separate. But no more.
He didn't hate the thought as much as he should.