Ch 15
A/N: For the most part I believe that this chapter can speak for itself, but there is one thing I do want to clarify. I have done a lot of research and couldn't find anywhere that it said that Professor McGonagall was in the original Order. So for these purposes she wasn't. If you have any other questions please feel free to PM me. Enjoy!
...
As Victoria opened her eyes that morning she couldn't help but smile. It was her birthday. Twelve years ago she found out the truth and set out to find her family. Although it was true that she hadn't found them yet, she couldn't help but feel that she was going to… someday.
Looking at the clock she saw that she'd gotten up earlier than usual, it was only 8. Instead of dressing and going down to the Great Hall where most people would have gone, she chose to pick up the diary from her bedside stand. She'd been waiting to read this page since she'd first gotten the book, but she had waited. Today was the right day, her birthday.
March 17, 1960
I have never felt so empty in my entire life. I still can't believe that I did it. This morning when I woke up I was miserable. My ankles were already swollen before I'd even made it out of the bed. My back was killing me. I was ready to have this baby out of me. Now looking back, I would give anything go back to this morning; at least she would still be mine. I went down to work like every other day. I am so lucky to have found this position; there is nowhere else that would have kept me on, in my condition. It was around lunch time when I started feeling a strange pain in my back. I didn't think much of it, thinking that it was another of the joys of being pregnant. How was I to know that you could have back labor pains? I'd only ever heard of them coming from your stomach. When I was sitting in a puddle of water that had come from me I couldn't ignore it any longer. My employer actually closed the shop for the afternoon and took me over to the hospital himself. A storm raged outside as we walked down the street. By the time we got to the hospital we were both soaked through. My mind barely even registered the wetness as the pain was excruciating, there is no way to describe the intensity of it. I have never had the Cruciatus Curse used on me, but the pain of this is what I would imagine it to be like. After a little while one of the healers came and put a charm on me to stop the pain, but I still felt the pressure. My best friend came in soon after, being an apprentice there she found out rather quickly. I was so grateful to have her with me, I'd never felt so scared in my life. It went much faster than I'd imagined. Only about thirty minutes after she arrived in my room they already had me pushing. If I thought the labor pains were bad, I hadn't felt anything yet. I felt like my body was being ripped in two. I mean honestly how is it possible to push something so big out of such a small opening? You would think it was physically impossible! I have yet to believe that it's not. Somehow, with only a few pushes it was all over. All the pain was done and I could hear a baby crying. The experience was so surreal. One minute I thought that I was going to die from the pain and the next I'm staring at a beautiful baby girl not feeling any pain at all. The healer handed her to me and I couldn't help it, I fell in love with her right then and there. This little girl became my life as soon as I saw her. Her beautiful blue eyes were identical to her father's, and the light smattering of fine hair she had was the same raven black as my own. I got the privilege of giving her a name, my little victorious one. It was a moment later that I handed her back to the healer, knowing that I would never see my precious little girl again. I couldn't hold back the tears any longer, letting them cloud the last look I'd ever get of her. I don't think I'll ever get over this, knowing that I gave up the best thing that will ever happen to me. I know that it's too late to turn back now, but I would truly give anything to have her back. I no longer care about becoming an Auror. Telling my parents about her seems like nothing. I would even go to him and tell him right now if that meant I could get her back, but I know that it's impossible. Why can't the magical world be more like the Muggle world in this? At least they have so many days to change their mind. Not in the magical world, as soon as you sign those papers it's all over. You are magically bound to your decision. I hope that someday she will understand why I did what I did. Not that I don't love her, because I do with all my heart, but because she will be better off with someone who can take care of her like I can't. I pray that someday she will forgive me for what I've done, although I wouldn't blame her if she didn't. I have not been able to stop crying since I handed her back and I don't think I ever will. There is an emptiness that only my little girl can fill, so I will never be complete again.
Victoria had known that this page would be hard to read but she hadn't expected it to be quite this emotional. She now realized exactly how hard it was for her mother to have given her up. She couldn't imagine doing it herself, being strong enough to give up a part of you so that they could have a better future.
She couldn't help but wonder how different her life would have been if her mother had kept her. Her mother would have had to give up her position in the Auror office, where Victoria knew she really wanted to be. They probably would have been living very poorly, not having a well paying job. It was true; her life would have been completely different.
She wished that she could find her real mother, if only to tell her that she understood, that she wasn't mad at her for doing what she knew would be the best thing for everyone. She was suddenly more grateful than ever to have grown up with the family she did, they truly did love her and she did them. In that moment she wished that she could tell her foster parents how much she appreciated them for taking her in, sadly she knew there was no good way to communicate across continents.
Pulling herself out of bed she dressed quickly and made her way to the hospital. Although it was her birthday, at Hogwarts it was just another Friday.
…
Victoria had chosen not to tell anyone that it was her birthday, so it was a normal day. The morning went along rather uneventful, that is until Tonks walked through the door. She was sporting three large scratches across her right cheek that looked to be fresh as blood was still dripping from them. "Wotcher Vicky!" She called seeing Victoria first.
"Tonks, what in the world happened?" Poppy asked dropping a sheet that she'd been folding to make her way to the girl.
Tonks shrugged, "It's nothing really. Professor Kettleburn had us taking care of kneazles in Care of Magical Creatures. Mine wanted to get away and I wouldn't let her."
Victoria shook her head, "I thought kneazles were supposed to attack bad people, not students."
"Apparently she thought differently." Tonks flopped down on one of the beds waiting for Victoria.
Victoria thought for a moment, "Why were you working with kneazles anyway, that's a first year creature."
"Professor Kettleburn was having us help out the first years. Thought it would make them less afraid of the older students. If they're still scared of us now, I don't see how it's going to help."
Poppy shook her head while Victoria laughed and took out her wand healing her quickly. Just as she'd done so the double door opened again. This time it wasn't a student that appeared, it was Professor Dumbledore. He had a grave look on his face that reminded Victoria of when he'd told her and Sirius about the Potters. He walked over to where they were without speaking and sat down on a cot. Poppy looked up at him curiously, "Can I help you Professor?"
He looked into Victoria's eyes; she could see the pain in his. She couldn't help but think that she didn't really want to hear what he was going to say. Taking in a deep breath he started, "Miss Knight, I am deeply sorry that I must have the unhappy duty of telling you this, but I thought it would be better hearing it from me."
She was now worried, "What is it?"
"Your parents were in an accident." He paused, trying to summon the words to continue.
She broke in, "Are they okay? What happened?"
"It seems there was an accident at the Academy. I'm sorry, they're gone."
Victoria's knees buckled under her causing her to fall to the cot that Tonks was occupying. "When?" She squeaked out, her voice already hoarse.
"I only got word this morning. It happened sometime in January." He looked back at her with tears welling up in his eyes.
The tears streaked down her cheeks uncontrollably. Poppy put a comforting arm around her while Dumbledore took her hand and Tonks rubbed her arm. Dumbledore spoke again, his voice giving away the hurt he felt, "I'm very sorry I had to do this today of all days."
Tonks looked at her curiously, "What's today?"
"It's my birthday." Victoria croaked out between sobs.
…
After hearing the horrible news Poppy knew she had to do something to get Victoria's mind off of what she'd heard. She quickly sent notes to each staff member and waited. She knew that her idea would help, but could never heal these particular wounds completely.
A few hours later it was time for dinner. Poppy tried her best to get Victoria to come down to the Great Hall with her, but to no avail. Victoria had no appetite. Poppy finally gave in and left the younger woman in the hospital alone with her thoughts.
When Poppy got down to the staff table she took a seat next to Minerva, "Good evening Minerva."
"Evening Poppy." Minerva answered easily picking up her pumpkin juice.
Poppy leaned in and whispered, "I think you need to tell Victoria the truth."
Minerva choked on her juice momentarily, sputtering she asked, "What?"
"Min, she really needs something to lift her spirits. After what she heard this morning it's the only thing I can see that will really help."
Minerva finally managed to collect herself, "What about this party you're throwing for her this evening?"
"It will help, but I don't think it will be enough. She needs more." Poppy looked down at her empty plate not feeling very hungry herself.
"What exactly did she find out this morning?" Minerva asked spooning a helping of steak and kidney pie on her plate.
"Her parents were in a horrible accident. They didn't make it." Poppy explained in a voice, barely above a whisper.
Minerva's hand with her spoon wavered near her mouth momentarily and then lowered again, "Oh the poor girl. How is she taking it?"
"Not well." Poppy stated honestly. "I've never seen her like this. I can't imagine what she's going through."
Minerva nodded, pushing her plate away from her. "Is she still in the hospital?"
"That's where I left her."
Minerva stood, "I'll have her down in time for the party." Minerva left the hall ignoring the stares from the many staff and students.
Poppy smiled, she couldn't believe that she'd been able to talk her best friend into finally being honest so easily. A few moments later Professor Snape took the seat on the other side of Poppy. "Madam Pomfery, may I have a word?"
"Certainly." Poppy smiled, her mood not even dampened by the dreary man.
"About this party you are throwing for Victoria this evening. Who have you invited?" he asked sounding slightly nervous.
"Only the staff." She answered. "I didn't know anyone else."
"I wonder if it would not be wise to invite Remus Lupin as well. He is a good friend of her's. I believe that she would appreciate his presence as well." He explained rather awkwardly.
"Thank you Severus. I'm sure she would be happier with a good friend here as well."
He nodded and quickly left the table. She chuckled lightly as she watched him go. She knew he was growing attached to her apprentice. Seeing him in this new light was quite amusing.
…
When Minerva arrived at the hospital she saw Victoria curled up on one of the cots sobbing. She went to the younger woman immediately, sitting next to her and placing a gentle hand on her back. Victoria jumped, not hearing anyone come into the room. Looking up she saw Minerva, her eyes shining with tears as well.
Victoria sat up and wiped her eyes quickly, "Professor McGonagall, I'm sorry I…" she was cut off.
"It's quite alright. I heard what happened."
Victoria gave a whimper, "I just can't believe they're gone."
"I know." Minerva whispered gently pulling Victoria into her arms. Although Minerva wasn't known to be particularly demonstrative, on occasion she could show a softer side. Minerva let her cry for a few more minutes before speaking. "I do understand. My father was killed when I was around your age."
Victoria pulled back slightly from the older woman, "What happened?"
Minerva took a deep breath, "My father was a Muggle pastor. He was simply coming home from work one evening when he was hit by a car. The driver was asleep at the wheel."
"I'm so sorry." Victoria sniffed, tears still tracking down her cheeks, now much slower.
Minerva gave a slight smile, "It was long ago." She looked down at the girl, wiping the tears away once again. "Come now, let's get you something to eat. Sadly life does keep going when those we love are no longer with us."
Victoria looked as if she was going to protest for a moment, but decided instead to nod, "You're right. Let's go."
Minerva smiled, walking out of the hospital with Victoria, "I have found sometimes it is easier to keep going when you hear about others overcoming the same circumstances."
"It does help. Thank you Professor." Victoria smiled weakly up at her. She felt like she was really seeing the woman for the first time. The strict and distant Professor was merely a façade; she was actually very warm and kind. There really was more to Professor McGonagall than first met the eye.
…
Victoria and Minerva arrived back at the staff table just before the meal was over. They managed to get a small amount of supper before the last of the stragglers left the Great Hall in search of their comfortable dormitories.
After a few minutes of pushing around their food in silence Victoria heard music coming from the room behind the staff table. She couldn't remember the last time she'd heard music in the school, other than at the holidays when the suits of armor sang, but this was different. This was very obviously a recording; she could hear distinctly male voices along with what sounded like rock music. Recognizing it a moment later as the Weird Sisters she turned to Minerva about to ask if she heard it. She saw a smile forming on Minerva's face. Victoria looked at her curiously, "What's going on?"
Minerva pushed back from the table, "Why don't we go find out?"
Victoria was still confused, but followed Minerva to the door. As she opened it a chorus of "Surprise!" was screamed. Victoria was in shock, she couldn't believe that they'd pulled this together so quickly. The room was filled with people, almost the entire Hogwarts staff, but she could see two others as well. Remus and Moody were near the table of drinks chatting. She looked between Minerva and Poppy, "How did you do it?"
Minerva shook her head, "This was all Poppy's doing."
Poppy smiled warmly pulling the girl through the door, "Don't listen to her, everyone helped."
Victoria still couldn't believe the sight in front of her. The room was decorated with silver and blue streamers while the ceiling was fluttering with blue butterflies. The Weird Sisters played loudly enough to be heard over the din, but still quietly enough to talk. "Thank you so much."
Poppy pulled her in for a quick hug, "I thought this would help… after this morning."
Victoria pulled back smiling, "It did Poppy. This is great."
Poppy nodded and fell back into step with Minerva. Poppy turned to Minerva and whispered, "Did you invite Moody?"
"As a matter of fact I did." Minerva said with a smile. "Albus said that he was a friend of Victoria's and I thought she would like to see him."
Poppy gave her a look of skepticism, "Sure you did."
Victoria smiled as Remus came up to her. "Victoria, happy birthday."
"Remus!" she pulled him in for a hug. "It's so good to actually be able to hug you again."
He chuckled, "Yes, the mirror is great, but not the same."
"Come on, I need a drink." She pulled him over to the drink table which was loaded up with almost any kind of drink imaginable. She picked up a glass with an unidentifiable dark liquid in it.
He clinked his glass with hers, "To another wonderful year."
She took a sip, feeling a warm sensation fill her up. Looking back at her glass she wondered what she'd picked, but put aside the thought for the moment. She smiled back at him, "Hopefully this year we'll be able to see each other more. In the same room I mean."
He laughed, "I hope so." They both took a drink, looking around the room. He spoke up quickly, "I almost forgot, I got you something."
"How could you have gotten me anything? You didn't even know it was my birthday."
"I was going to give this to you when you came back this summer, but when Poppy owled me I decided that it would work for your birthday as well." He explained pulling out a package from inside his robes and handing it to her.
She laughed, "Why Mr. Lupin I do believe this is a book."
"Open it before you make any assumptions." He chuckled, watching her as she started to tear the paper.
A moment later she held a photo album in her hands. It was a leather bound book, smaller than a school book. As she opened it she saw pictures of herself, Sirius, and Remus. They showed the three from when she'd first moved to England, all the way through to that Christmas when she and Remus had Madam Rosmerta take a picture of them.
She beamed back at him, "This is wonderful Remus. Really."
"I'm glad you like it."
"I love it. It must have taken you a while to find all of these." She traced her finger over one of Sirius and herself.
"Not too long. You did have quite a few of those lying around the flat."
She laughed, knowing that he was right. "Well thank you anyway. It really is great." A moment later she saw Remus's eyes dart to her side. Seeing someone come up next to her she turned and saw that it was Professor Snape. "Professor Snape," she smiled then took a drink, waiting to see how the men reacted to each other.
Snape was the first to speak, a slow drawl coming from his lips, "Happy birthday Victoria." Then he turned to Remus, "Good evening Remus."
A wary look passed over Remus, "Good evening Professor." He turned to Victoria quickly, "I'll see you later."
"Ok, again thank you." She watched him give her a warm smile and walk away. She turned her attention back to Snape, "Are you having fun this evening Professor?"
He shifted nervously, glancing around the room, "I am not usually one for large gatherings. However, when Poppy told me about tonight I thought it would be… prudent to attend."
"Oh? And why is that?" She asked, her eyes twinkling at him over her cup.
He took a moment to think his words over carefully, "Because it is the birthday party of a friend."
She was truly touched, "I appreciate that Severus."
Handing her a small package, he cleared his throat nervously before continuing, "This is for you."
She eyed him curiously, "You didn't need to get me anything." Opening it she saw a plain silver necklace with a single pale pink stone pendant. "It's beautiful."
He gave her a smirk, "It is rose quartz, a powerful healing stone."
She nearly laughed at his awkwardness. "It's great Severus. Thank you."
He nodded and left without another word.
Trying to fasten the necklace behind her neck, to no avail she was about to give up when she felt someone take it out of her hands. With it fastened she turned around to find Professor Trelawney smiling at her. "Thanks Professor."
"It is no problem dear girl." She smiled warmly, and then looked down at the necklace, spotting the stone, "Is that quartz?"
"Yes, I just got it from… a friend." Victoria caught herself before saying who.
"That is rose quartz. Whoever it was must care for you a great deal." Trelawney said still staring at the stone.
"Why do you say that Professor?" Victoria asked, placing her hand over the necklace unconsciously.
"It's simple my dear. Rose quartz is most commonly associated with love and friendship." She stated making it sound as if everyone should know that.
"Well what if the person who gave it to me didn't know?" Victoria defended quickly, not knowing why she felt the need to.
"It was from a man, was it not?"
"Yes." Victoria answered warily.
"He knew." Trelawney paused for a moment, "Did you know that quartz was used to make crystal balls?"
"I didn't. Very interesting."
Trelawney smiled, and then took a package out of her robes, "This is for you."
Victoria took the package from her. Once the paper was off of it she nearly started crying once again. The faces of her foster parents stood smiling up at her from inside the frame. It was a picture from their wedding, one that she hadn't seen before. The photo showed both of her parents, but also their best man and maid of honor. She didn't recognize the best man, but after looking for a moment she realized who the maid of honor was. The glasses weren't quite as thick, her hair was smoothed down for the occasion, her customary shall had apparently stayed home for the day, and only a bit of jewelry adorned her frame, but it was very obviously Professor Trelawney. Tears formed in her eyes as she looked back up at the Professor, "You have no idea how much this means to me."
"I do my dear. Professor Dumbledore informed me of the unfortunate event this morning." A tear slid down the Professor's cheek as she spoke. "I'm sorry, I must retire for the evening. All of this…" she indicated looking around the room, "is clouding my inner eye."
Victoria chuckled watching the woman walk away. Draining the remains of her drink she noticed as Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore were standing next to the drink table chatting with Poppy and Moody. She walked over to the table and picked up another cup, the same as she'd been drinking. Stepping over to the small group she was enveloped in another hug from Poppy, "Are you enjoying yourself tonight?"
Victoria laughed, realizing that Poppy had obviously had more to drink than usual that evening, "I am, thank you. I still can't believe you pulled all this together so fast."
"It was nothing." Poppy waved her off, her words coming out in a slight slur. "Oh, I nearly forgot, I got you something."
"How is it that everyone could get me something this quickly?" Victoria asked as she accepted the package from Poppy.
"I know how quickly you go through candles. This one is everlasting." She smiled as she watched Victoria smell it.
"Lavender and vanilla my favorite, how did you know?" Victoria sniffed once again.
"That's ruddy obvious." Moody spoke up rolling his eyes, "You smelled like that even out in the mud."
"Out in the mud?" Poppy asked looking between Victoria and Moody curiously.
"Moody and I have known each other for a while. It was a long time ago." Victoria covered knowing that Poppy and Minerva weren't in the Order.
"Aye," Moody said, not wanting to give anything away either. He pulled out a grubby looking bundle from his robes and handed it to her. "Didn't have much time to wrap it."
Victoria unwrapped it carefully, not knowing what Moody could have possibly gotten her. What she saw when it was unwrapped was what looked like a miniature glass spinning top. She looked up at him curiously, "What is it?"
"A sneakoscope. It'll light up and spin if anyone untrustworthy comes near it." Moody grunted.
"Thanks Moody, I'm sure it'll come in handy." Although she couldn't figure out how it would come in handy in the castle.
"I see that you have already acquired a necklace this evening, but I hope you like this." Minerva smiled handing her an unwrapped necklace. It was a silver locket with a V engraved in the center and delicate filigree around the edges.
"It's beautiful Professor, really." She smiled.
"Open it." Minerva encouraged gently.
As Victoria did she smiled down at the pictures inside. Her foster parents smiled back at her from the inside of the locket. "Thank you Professor."
Minerva nodded, knowing how much it meant to her without Victoria having to say anything.
Albus cleared his throat and smiled down at Victoria, "I'm afraid my gift isn't as elaborate as your last."
He handed her a box with a pink ribbon around it. She smiled, "Chocoballs, my favorite."
"Indeed, I remember you ate almost my entire box at our last meeting." His eyes twinkled merrily.
"I am sorry." She blushed ashamedly.
"It's no matter. I'm glad you enjoyed them."
She took the last swallow of her drink and reached for yet another. Albus looked at her curiously, "What is that you're drinking?"
Victoria looked down at the cup, "I'm not entirely sure to be honest."
Albus took the cup from her and sniffed it, "Firewhisky," he handed the cup back to her, his eyes meeting Minerva's for a second. "Do be careful with that my dear."
Victoria laughed, "I appreciate the concern Professor, but I can hold my liquor."
Minerva caught Albus's eyes again and blushed slightly, "I'm afraid he's right Victoria. Firewhisky will catch up with you quite quickly."
Victoria nodded, taking another drink, choosing not to argue with them.
…
A few hours later most of the staff had filtered out of the room already. Deciding to call it a night Minerva helped Victoria and Poppy back to their rooms as they'd both had much more to drink than either had expected. After successfully managing to get Poppy to her room she started to walk Victoria to her's when she heard the girl say, "You know, I never expected my life to turn out this way."
Minerva chuckled, "Many of us can say that."
"I'm sure they can." Victoria retorted swaying to a stop in front of her door. She gave it the password and stepped inside, inviting Minerva to join her. Victoria continued, flopping down into one of the arm chairs, "Most people don't go across an ocean to find their parents thought."
"What?" Minerva asked slipping down into a chair across from her.
"That's why I came to England." Victoria slurred, leaning back into the chair. "My parents told me on the day that I turned 18 that I was adopted. I was so upset with them for not telling me before that I just packed up my stuff that night and set out for England."
Minerva swallowed nervously, "Did you ever find them?"
"Nope. I've spent 12 years here now and I'm no closer to finding them now then I was when I started out." Victoria said dejectedly. "I really had a promising future in front of me too. I was supposed to go to the Salem Institute, and then get a job at the Bureau." Looking around she laughed, "This isn't anywhere near where I was supposed to be."
"Life is never the way we expect it my dear." Minerva said gently, getting to her feet. "Come, let's get you to bed."
Victoria didn't protest, but simply made it to her feet and into the bedroom. Minerva gave her a few minutes to change before coming to check on her. Minerva conjured a glass of water for her and was about to set it on the bedside table when something caught her eye. She recognized the diary immediately, "Where did you get that?"
Victoria looked at the book for a moment, "Sirius found it in my flat when he was staying with me. I think it's my real mother's but there are no names in it, so I guess I'll never know."
Minerva nodded, setting the water down on the table. "I hope you had a good birthday, apart from the news."
"I did. Thank you again Professor. What you said this evening did help. Good night." Victoria said turning to her side facing away from Minerva.
Minerva stopped in front of the door and turned back whispering, "Good night my Victoria." Then turning away she walked back through the portrait.