I wake up in the middle of the night. There are alarms going off in my head. I feel nothing but petrifying fear in my veins. I cannot help but think I am in danger. My eyes zoom over the room, taking in every possible movement and weapon. My muscles tense as a sense of dread runs over me. I feel trapped and unwelcome, as though this is not where I belong. But this is my bedroom. This is my bed and that, across from me with a metallic chair right beside it, is my door.
I sigh in frustration at the disturbance to my sleep. It hasn't been long since I returned from Seeker's office. I can feel the emotional toll the memories took. And yet my body is restless and cannot stay still. I try walking around my bed, hoping that will solve the problem. When that fails to work anymore I run back and forth from my bed and the bathroom sink, splashing my face to ward off the pounding in my head. Finally I fall back into bed when I feel the exhaustion once more. That is the moment when my worst fears come to pass.
The body stretches without my permission. It pulls the muscles and cracks its own joints in a motion of practiced ease. The fuzzy feeling disappears from my head. I feel awake, aware. There is nothing but quiet silence in the room yet I feel eyes on me anyway. I am not alone.
"Go away," I beg, hoping the spy will listen.
Make me, a voice replies. This is my body and you're not allowed to steal it while I'm still here!
I frown in confusion.
"This is my body."
No, it's not, the voice hisses. You're just a temporary visitor until I can figure out how to get rid of you.
"Who are you?" I demand, "What do you want? This is my body. You don't belong to it anymore."
I gasp as the last statement falls from my lips.
"Parker?" I tentatively ask," Parker is that you?"
Who else could it be?
I scream but my arms wrap around my lips immediately. My eyes dart to the door and fear grips me firmly. I can't move. My breath hitches in anticipation.
It's fine, Parker says, you just squeaked.
A feeling washes over me that I have never felt before. It is impossible to describe. I only recognize it as the presence Parker felt whenever her friends were out of danger. It is the same feeling I felt when Parker's voice appeared in my head.
It's called relief, Parker supplies, Sophie says it means you care about someone besides yourself. It's a good feeling.
"Who's Sophie?" I ask.
A giant wall fills my mind immediately. I can feel Parker's presence is gone. I am alone once more. And still I feel as though this is not how it is supposed to be. In fact I feel… empty.
"Parker!" I call out to her over and over again.
She doesn't reply back. She simply stays quiet and ignores me. I close my eyes and allow the exhaustion to take over. Her memories wash over me though, draining me completely. I wish to fight them but I can't. So I just give in and let them in. The images are nice enough anyway.
%%%%%
Parker snuck into the kitchen as if she had done it all of her life. Of course, she had been a professional thief long before our invasion. The souls that inhabited the old couple weren't used to professional thieves. They had absolutely no reason to lock their doors or fear others. Humans were more complicated than we originally perceived. Even the rumors weren't half as exaggerated as we thought.
It was the dead of night. Her outfit was nothing but pure black. The house she was stealing from was a small bungalow on the outskirts of the neighborhood. There were many prickly cacti and palm trees everywhere she turned. The outlines of mountains and desert etched against the dark horizon. Her blonde hair was tucked under some black cap she had for years. She didn't even make impressions in the sandy driveway her footsteps were so light.
She was exposed in the random patch of grass known as the backyard. There were only tiny bushes that decorated the perimeter. She had to make a run for it. That wasn't exactly a problem for Parker. She was used to running. She'd been running ever since we invaded her world.
She jumped between the bushes like a spinning wheel. She was on the porch in seconds, her eyes peeled for danger. When she was satisfied, she entered the building. Her fingers automatically moved to stop the alarm. It was an unnecessary move and she yelled at herself for it. Our kind didn't need alarms. We had trust on our side. She had forgotten that.
She ripped through the cupboards for food. The canned goods were always something useful and there seemed to be a giant need for them by the others anyway. The refrigerator was her next stop. She scrounged around and decided the chicken was best for her and Bonnie. Her stomach gurgled in anticipation. Ordinarily she would tell it to shut up but she hadn't had food in days. Everything she had went into Bonnie's stomach.
"One sound and you die," a deep voice mumbled.
Parker reacted on instinct. She swung her right arm behind her, effectively taking the knife away from her captor. She wasn't surprised by that, not anymore. We didn't use weapons like these against people. She counted on that and used that knowledge to escape her attacker. She kicked out her legs and twirled. Somehow she landed on top of him, the knife against his throat.
"Do it," the man cried, "Just do it! I don't want to be anything like you, you filthy parasite!"
Parker stared at him. Her mind was calculating, trying to assess what she couldn't understand. Her hand was shaking on his throat. I could sense the confusion in her veins. It didn't really make sense to me. It was too dark. I couldn't see the person she was staring at. All I could tell was that Parker didn't want to hurt him. She just held the knife to his neck as her heartbeat kept saying one name. Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie.
"What are you?" the man yelled, "Some weird kind of Seeker or something?"
"Har… Hardison?"
I couldn't believe it. I couldn't even see how she came to that conclusion. But now that I know what to look for, I see what she did. The whites of his eyes went wide with horror. His red tongue became visible. Even his dark features were visible now that I knew what I was seeing.
"Par… Parker?" He gasped.
His features grew heavy with anger suddenly. A giant shout fell from his lips and a great force pushed Parker back. They tumbled through the living room, barely making a sound as they struggled. He used both of his hands to keep her pinned to the ground. He had to lean all of his body weight in order to keep the struggling thief down.
"It can't be!" He growled.
"Hardison, get off of me," Parker yelled. She threw punches as if it were normal. Her feet connected with his ankle but it did nothing. His weight was perfectly balanced on top of her. All her kicking was for nothing, he now had her arms pinned below his knees. His hands were roaming against her face as if to memorize her completely.
"Is it…" He paused to catch his breath. "Is it really you, Parker?"
"Get off of me right now!" She growled.
A click sounded off and a strand of light appeared. Parker gasped as her eyelid was forced to open and exist in the light. She wanted to swap the hacker away and tell him to stop the torture. They were going to be discovered at any minute. She had Bonnie to feed. The light stopped. His hand came around her neck again and a shout of glee escaped his lips.
"You're still human!"
The hacker was off of her in seconds flat. He pulled her to her feet and grabbed onto her face. There was a warm hand on each of her cheeks. Their eyes were glued towards each other. Then his insistent lips were on top of hers, tasting every ounce of air in her lungs.
Her knee flew upwards of its own accord. Bonnie needed her and she didn't have time for such distractions. She didn't care if this was Hardison or some Seeker finally trying a new tactic. She just grabbed her horde of food and raced away.
He followed her of course. She sped up, hoping her blonde hair wasn't too visible in what little light there was in the deserted street. Her hat must have disappeared during their fight. She would have gone back to get it if she wasn't being chased. She could still hear his heavy footsteps behind her.
He must have gotten himself in shape while we separated, she thought. She jumped over a tree stump to keep going and lose him in her dust. Even with his newly improved figure, she could still outrun him.
"Wait!" Hardison called. She silently wished he would shut up. "Parker, I'm not one of them!"
She turned around at that. It was stupid and something not even a rookie would do. But her heart had a mind of its own. She turned towards him, bag full of stolen goods. There was a hungry child depending on her in the Mountains. She couldn't get taken away. Yet she couldn't stop herself from believing his words.
Hardison was out of breath when he caught up to her. His amber eyes scanned the horizon, looking for any possible danger. His hand found hers and refused to let go. He invaded her personal space, giving her plenty of time to run away. His left hand found her cheek in seconds flat. Then they shared a kiss that was long overdue. Parker's fingers rose to pull him closer. She felt the thin lined scar on the back of his neck.
"You're one of them!" She pushed him away, scandalized to have been tricked so easily. Her eyes looked around expecting someone to come out of hiding and take her away. "Where are the others? Seekers don't travel alone."
Hardison stared at her in absolute confusion. He raised his head, looking for danger. Parker could sense something was wrong. They were out in the open for far too long. If he was going to take, he needed to move now. Seekers didn't like to make a scene when they were capturing the humans. Parker figured that meant most didn't realize how their hosts were occupied.
"Bonnie," Hardison asked, "Is Bonnie alright?"
"You leave her out of this," Parker raised the bag of food as some form of defense. She couldn't stand the idea of those things living in Hardison. Life was cruel enough. It didn't need to take Hardison away too.
"Did you walk this whole way?" Hardison sounded scandalized. "You walked through a desert without water! Parker, Bonnie could be dead by now! You could have died and Bonnie would be alone!"
"Bonnie's safe," Parker said, "I ran some of it. Fifteen… Dammit Hardison!"
He broke out into a warm smile and melted her heart all over again. There was no doubt now. The hacker was absolutely fine.
"Cuz, I've got a car," he said.
This time it was Parker who initiated the kiss. She cuffed the back of the hacker's neck and pulled him in. Their lips danced as she delighted in the feel of him. But her fingers, her gifted digits that gave her everything she'd ever wanted found something horrible on his neck. She felt a thin, jagged line.
%%%%%
I awake in morning, restless and alone. The image of Hardison blazes on my eyelids. She cared for him greatly. I can tell that much with my limited knowledge of humans. But I can also feel my patience with her waning. This is the third night in row she has kept me up. She appears and disappears whenever she pleases, teasing me with her frightening memories.
Last night was particularly awful. She showed me an image from her childhood. There was a man there, a mean hairy man. He had a thick beard that spotted his chin so much it drooped to his middle. His black, beady eyes were all I could really see behind the hair, but it was enough. He picked Parker up by her throat and kept slamming her into the wall. She was only three.
I've gotten use to no sleep. I often spend the hour before dawn, drawing. Today is a sketch of Hardison. There is no cut over his left eyebrow. His split lip is fully healed. This is what he would look like now, I am certain. Three weeks have passed since the two were separated. I am working on Bonnie next.
NO! Parker shouts.
The pen in my hand flies through the air. She threw it with my hand. I watch as it flies, zooming into the trash can as if she planned for it to. It makes me angry sometimes, the way she constantly fights me. She should be grateful. It's been three days and I haven't told Seeker she's still in here.
Seeker calls me to her office at eight. It used to be nine but she feels that eight will be better. Certain images stay in the head more in the morning, something about dreams. I kindly fight the smirk Parker wants to make. We have to be careful if we don't want to be caught. Parker doesn't seem to agree with me.
Just watch her try to get stuff out of me, she says, she has no idea who she's dealing with.
Parker is very active today. I find myself paying more attention to her than to Seeker. My distraction is so evident that Seeker often has to repeat herself twice in order to get her point across. Today she wishes me to find the location Parker and Hardison discussed. I want to laugh because I know Parker's not in the mood to share it, but I know Seeker will begin to suspect something's wrong. It's odd, but I have grown quite accustomed to Parker's presence in my head.
Yeah, Parker says, because I'm awesome.
"Do you have anything new to share?" Seeker asks.
I wipe the smile from my face immediately. I am really trying not to draw attention. I am not as talented as Parker though. She spent years learning the trade. I have only had three days of lessons. So I reach for the picture in my pocket.
What? Parker cries, No!
She tries to stop me but I fight her. I can't let Seeker take her away. I've heard the stories. I know what happens to those who continue to resist. I don't want Parker to end up like them. I like this body. I like her. But I have to do my part, or we will both suffer the consequences.
"Here," I say, "I drew this when I woke up. It is a picture of the one I told you about, Hardison."
Traitor, Parker whimpers and I feel like one too. I don't know why. I am no traitor. I am helping my own kind.
"Thank you," Seeker says. There is a flicker of something in her brown eyes. They go black for moment and her eyebrows turn into a deep v like she is angry with me. But the flicker disappears and is replaced with the bright eyes of joy.
"This will help us greatly," she says, "Can you draw images of the others as well?"
"I can certainly try," I agree.
I'm not helping you, Parker replies.
I do not mind her angry. I agree with her assessment and will tell her so when it is safe. I do not wish to be a part of the resistance but I cannot afford any other choice. These are my people. I may not agree with their methods but there is nothing I can do. I can only play along and hope they don't find Parker.
Seeker gives me a look and rises to her feet. I think she is going to inquire about the others again. She does it every day. She wants to know who they are and what they look like. She even wants to know their physical condition too. I often wonder what their physical condition could do. Humans are still powerless to our sleeping spray.
But she grabs my arm and slowly pulls me so I am facing her. She smiles at me again and this time I notice it. Her eyes are black now. There is a deep v on her forehead and there is anger shining in those eyes. That smile is tight to her jawline. I can hear the teeth grinding together in irritation. She knows. She knows all about Parker and now everything is lost forever.
"I've got good news," Seeker says in that cheery tone that annoys Parker greatly. Her British accent is too tight as it forms words. It clips her tones in sharp, short shocks. It sounds false and wrong to my own ears.
"The man you described," she says, "The one with the dark hair and blue eyes."
Nate, Parker moans.
"He's been spotted," Seeker continues, "In the West Quadrant of the City. We may even put an end to this little rebellion shortly!"
"No!" I scream.
I do not know what happens next. My arms are no longer under my control. Parker takes over and instantly attacks. Her hands wrap around the woman's throat and begin to choke the life right out of her. I can hear the woman choking, gasping for breath. Yet I am helpless against Parker's control.
"You won't hurt him," Parker calls.
"P… Par," Seeker begins.
My host doesn't let her finish. She grabs the nearest heavy object and hits her upside the head. She then proceeds to walk to the chair. She wants to move it to the door but can't. I've taken over again. I can feel the chair's cool back in my hands.
Put the chair up against the handle, she orders softly.
I obey immediately. I can hear the weakness in her voice. Our hands are shaking. She can barely stop thinking long enough to breathe. I expect her thoughts to be scattered, unorganized by fear and adrenaline. They are not. She is thinking quite clearly and plainly. I turn around and see Seeker's crumpled form.
"What have you done?" I ask.
I hear Parker's laughter echoing through my head.
Today we escape, she says.