Ch 18
A/N: Have you ever written something that makes you go, 'Why in the world did I tell myself I could do this?' and then 'Oh, because that happens.' Yeah, well both things happen in this chapter. This was a challenging chapter for me, but also makes me very happy. Warning: fluff ahead!
...
It was the first day of the term and Victoria hadn't been this scared since she was last in battle. She had come back to Hogwarts two week before the term started as Professor Dumbledore had asked. All of her lesson plans had been approved, and she had gone over everything countless times. So what was she so worried about? She was terrified that she was going to fall flat on her face.
Victoria had gone to the Great Hall early, hoping that seeing some friendly faces would help her get the confidence she needed. Sadly when she got there it only made it worse. With the students now casting glances at the staff table she felt like they were all staring at her. The food sitting in front of her felt like it was taunting her. She wanted to eat, but her stomach was telling her that there was no way. After what felt like years Poppy and Minerva joined her, taking the remaining seats next to her. Poppy looked at her, Victoria's face was a few shades paler than her normal complexion, her eyes wide in fear, and she wasn't eating. The older witch put her hand on her arm gently, the kind gesture making Victoria jump, "Victoria, you will be fine."
Victoria shook her head, running a hand through her black hair, "How can you say that Poppy? I've never been a teacher before? What if I'm horrible?"
"Then I will be just down the hall." Minerva stated simply, folding the paper she'd been reading back up.
"I can't just come barging into your classroom begging for your help." Victoria said taking a piece of toast, placing it on her plate without taking a bite.
"The first class is my free period," Minerva answered placing her hand over Victoria's comfortingly. "If you truly feel that you are having problems I will be there."
Victoria gave her a genuine smile, "Thank you Professor. That is very kind."
"It's nothing." Minerva said waving it off, opening her paper back up. "What is your first class?" Minerva asked casually.
"Seventh year, Hufflepuff and Gryffindor," Victoria sighed, "giving me the hardest first."
"Why, that's Miss Tonks's class. You already have one person on your side." Poppy said brightly.
Victoria nodded, "That could make it worse though. That means Tonks is expecting me to be a great teacher. I don't want to disappoint her."
"You won't." Poppy answered encouragingly, "You will be a great teacher. You have it in you; you just need to find it."
Victoria gave her a weak smile, "Thanks Poppy. I really need to go. I need to get ready for class. Wish me luck."
"Good luck." Minerva and Poppy chorused together. Waving as she walked out of the hall.
Poppy turned to Minerva, "That was uncharacteristically kind of you Min."
"What on Earth are you taking about?" Minerva asked, feigning reading her paper.
"You know what. Offering to help Victoria. I have never heard you do that before." Poppy smiled, taking a sip of her tea.
"Nonsense," Minerva said shaking her head, "I have offered it to many people. You simply have never heard me say it."
"When are you going to be honest with yourself?" Poppy asked her voice lowered a bit.
"Poppy, honestly, what has gotten into you this morning? You are making no sense."
Poppy lowered her voice so that no one else at the table could hear them, and gave her best friend a stern look, "Minerva McGonagall, you would never have made that offer to anyone else. The only reason you did was because the girl is you daughter. You need to admit it to yourself at the very least."
"Don't be ridiculous." Minerva said putting her paper down.
"Min, we both know it's the truth, why are you trying to deny it?"
Minerva shook her head, getting up from the table, "I will see you later Poppy."
Poppy called after Minerva's retreating form, "That's only because you know I'm right." Poppy laughed as everyone else's head turned to look at her. She couldn't care less.
…
Victoria sat at her desk reading over her lesson plans again, unconsciously playing with her hair, as she heard the door open. Looking up to see her first student enter her classroom Victoria was pleasantly surprised to see Tonks's smiling face. "Wotcher Vicky… I mean Professor Knight."
Victoria laughed at the slip, "Morning Tonks. You're early."
"Yeah, wanted to get a good seat. Can't miss this lesson." Tonks smiled encouragingly, taking a seat at the front table.
"That's very sweet Tonks. I just hope I don't disappoint you." Victoria stood and made her way around the desk to lean against the front of it.
"You won't." Tonks said easily, "You'll be brilliant, I know it."
Victoria smiled, "I only hope you're right."
"I am." Tonks answered pulling out her book. "I saw how you were with Poppy last year. If you are that good of a student, you'll be a great teacher."
"Thank you Tonks." Victoria smiled, watching as more students started to file into the classroom.
When she noticed that all of the students had made it to class she started. "Good morning class. I am Professor Knight, and I will be teaching you Defense Against the Dark Arts this year. Now, from what I hear you have had different teachers every year. Because of this I have devised a short test for all of you." Victoria pointed her wand at a stack of papers on her desk and they started to pass themselves out. "Don't worry; you won't be graded on this. I just want to see what you have and haven't learned about defense yet. So please take your time on this and answer the questions to the best of your ability." She said finally leaning back against her desk as she watched her students pick up their quills. Tonks gave her a smile and a wink as she picked up her quill.
Victoria smiled to herself, 'Maybe this won't be so bad.' She mused, watching as the students continued on their papers.
When all of the students finished their papers Victoria collected them and placed them on the desk. "Great. I'm sorry that I had to do that to you on your first day, but we had to get it out of the way. Let's get onto something a little more fun. Who here has met a vampire?"
…
After the last class of the day was let out Victoria heaved a great sigh. It was finished. She had survived her first day of teaching and couldn't have been happier. Pointing her wand at the papers on her desk they shot off into her office. Smiling to herself, she walked out of the room and down the hall. Knocking on the door she heard a familiar voice summon her inside. Stepping through the door she smiled at the older woman sitting at her desk. "Professor McGonagall."
"Good afternoon Miss Knight. I see that you did well for your first day." Minerva said looking at Victoria over her glasses.
"I don't know if I did well, but I did it."
"You needn't be so modest. Miss Tonks had nothing but… enthusiastic words for your class this morning."
"She is very sweet." Victoria couldn't help the smiled that sprang to her face.
"Miss Tonks said something about you bringing a vampire to class?"
"Oh, that. Yes well, Professor Dumbledore has given me permission to bring a vampire in just for instructional purposes. I know a couple of them personally. I thought it would be a good way for my seventh years to learn about them." Victoria explained taking a seat in front of Minerva's desk.
"I think that would be a wonderful idea. Just make sure nothing happens of course." Minerva shot her a piercing stare.
"Don't worry; I will make sure Ivan has eaten before he comes in." Victoria said leaning back in her seat. After a moment's silence, debating with herself if she should ask the question she wanted to or not, she finally asked, "Professor, can I ask you something?"
"Certainly."
"How… how did you become an Animagus?"
Minerva took off her glasses, setting them down on the desk in front of her, "Professor Dumbledore facilitated me when I was still in school. Why do you ask?"
"Well I always wanted to learn, but I have never known anyone who could do it." Victoria answered sheepishly.
"Are you seeking to ask me something?"
"Professor, would you teach me how to become an Animagus?" Victoria asked, looking up at her pleadingly.
Minerva clasped her hands in front of her, "Why is it that you wish to become an Animagus Miss Knight?"
"Honestly, transfiguration has always come easy for me. When I first read about Animagi I thought that it would finally be a challenge for me. Ever since then I have wanted to try it."
Minerva gave a small smile nodding, "If you are to study with me, we will meet three times a week. I must warn you; this will not be an easy endeavor. Becoming an Animagus takes a great deal of patience and effort."
"That's not a problem. When should I meet you then?"
"Come to my office tomorrow night after dinner. We shall start then."
It took everything in Victoria not to get up and hug her. Instead she gave Minerva a huge smile, "I'll see you then." Turning on her heel she left the room. The smile on her face could have lit up the entire corridor.
…
Victoria smiled to herself as she walked down to the dungeons after dinner in the Great Hall. As she made her way into the empty classroom to start on the Wolfsbane for Remus she heard footsteps behind her. Looking back she saw Severus, giving him a smile she said, "Severus, good evening!"
"Victoria. How was your first day?" he asked stepping into the room with her, watching as she started in on the potion.
"It was much better than I thought. I actually liked it." She smiled, chopping up some aconite.
"That is… good to hear. I hope that the year goes well for you." He stated taking a seat on one of the tables.
"I'm looking forward to it really. I never thought I'd say that." She beamed up at him, adding the flower she'd just chopped to the cauldron.
As she leaned over the cauldron Severus noticed something around her neck glimmer in the firelight. He took a step closer to her. On further inspection he recognized the necklace that he'd given her for her last birthday. The light pink stone sitting against her neck while the delicate silver chain was placed over her scar. She looked up to see that he was looking at the necklace. Her hand unconsciously went to her neck. He took a step back, sitting on the desk, "I would have thought that scar would have been gone."
She shook her head, "No, I don't think it's going anywhere. Now it's just a reminder of a very scary night. Do you remember?"
"Indeed, there are few people who can duel with me and live to tell the tale." He answered.
She looked at him cautiously, "I have wondered about that for a long time. You could have killed me that night. When Bellatrix had that knife against my throat, all you had to do was send one spell my way. Why didn't you?"
He looked away from her, his eyes on the fire underneath the cauldron, casting part of his face in shadows. "I believed that what Bellatrix did was in poor form. In a duel you are only afforded a wand. Other weapons are not allowed."
Victoria studied him for a moment, she knew he was the same man that she had dueled that night, but he seemed completely changed. She still had so many questions about that night. Turning the flame down she came over to the table he sat at, taking a seat for herself, "Severus, I need to ask you something." She paused, uncertain as to whether he would answer her question or not, "Why did you become a Death Eater."
He took in a deep breath, trying to figure out where to begin, "When I was in school, I was something of an outcast. Most of my time was spent alone. For a long time I assumed loneliness would simply be part of my life. Then some of my classmates started talking to me about a group. They were a collection of wizards that were trying to better themselves and the magical population as well. I thought at the time that it was a worthy cause. It wasn't until later, when I was out of school already, that I realized the true goals. By that time I was too involved to get out. However, something changed... something I chose not to talk about. I went to Dumbledore asking for his help. He was only willing to assist me if I were to change sides. With doing that I became a spy for the Order."
"So that's how you became a teacher here. Voldemort thought you were a spy for him?" Victoria asked watching him with rapt attention.
He nodded, "The Dark Lord was pleased to hear that I became a professor. He assumed that I would give him better information here than I could out in the world."
She studied him for a moment, "When you were fighting me… were you on his side or ours?"
"I was in fact with the Order at the time."
"Then why in the world did you try to kill me?" she asked in shock.
"I did no such thing. I merely made the duel believable. If you will remember, you were able to block all of my spells."
"So you're saying you took it easy on me?"
"By no means. You were giving everything you had to the fight. I simply responded in kind."
She shook her head incredulously, "How did you know one of your spells wouldn't hit me?"
"I didn't." He answered honestly. "You simply proved yourself as a worthy opponent."
She smiled, walking over to the cauldron, pouring the contents into a vial. "Well thank you for your vote of confidence Severus. Now I have to go. I have a lot of papers to get through tonight. I'll see you at breakfast."
"Good night Victoria." He stared at her as she left the room. He wouldn't even admit it to himself, but he liked having someone to actually talk to after all this time.
…
Victoria arrived at Minerva's office the minute that dinner was over the next night. She felt like she might just bubble over in excitement at the mere idea of someone helping her to become an Animagus. Minerva invited her inside and they both took a seat in front of her fireplace. Minerva fixed her with a piercing stare, "Victoria, I want to make sure you are ready for this. It takes quite some time to learn and is an arduous process."
"I'm sure. I have wanted to learn this for years. Please Professor, I understand how hard this is going to be. I want this." Victoria urged leaning slightly forward in her chair.
Minerva nodded once leaning back in her seat, "Very well. We shall begin then. The first step in Animagus transformation is to clear your mind. I realize that this sounds like an easy task, however, it is not as simple as it may seem."
Victoria nodded, "Clear your mind."
"Now close your eyes." Minerva said watching Victoria intently as she shut her eyes. "Just listen to my voice." Minerva whispered getting out of her chair and stepping away from the fireplace. "Clear your mind." She said quietly from the other side of the room. When she noticed Victoria relaxing back into her chair, Minerva opened a cupboard revealing a record player. "Is it clear?" She asked.
"Yes." Victoria answered quietly not opening her eyes.
"Good." Minerva gave a small smile. She waited for a few minutes in silence before placing the needle to a record. Immediately the sound made Victoria jump, opening her eyes she searched the room for Minerva.
"What was that?" Victoria asked as Minerva stopped the music.
"A test, if you had truly cleared your mind you would not have jumped. Try again."
Victoria shook her head, but did what Minerva said. Closing her eyes she tried again to clear her mind. It took her a few tries, but in time when the music started she didn't even notice. Minerva clapped gently, "Very good Victoria. That is perfect."
Victoria opened her eyes, "You're right that is harder than it looks."
"However, it is an important lesson. Now onto the next part…"
The lesson continued in much the same manner until Minerva informed Victoria that they had done enough for the night. She was impressed with Victoria's progress, stating that she'd never seen anyone jump through the steps so fast. Minerva knew the process which usually took over a year to learn would prove to be much less for Victoria. Realizing this Minerva couldn't help the swell of pride that enveloped her when she thought of her daughter following in her footsteps.
…
It wasn't until the beginning of December when Victoria started showing real promise. They had been working together since the first day of term and Victoria had started to wonder if everything was really paying off. On December 24th, Victoria surprised even herself. As she took a seat next to Minerva at the fireplace she was ready to tell Minerva that she didn't want to go any farther. She was silenced when Minerva started to speak, "Victoria, you are progressing at an accelerated rate, much faster than even I when I learned this. I believe that you are ready to try a transformation."
"Are you serious?" Victoria asked excitedly.
Minerva gave her the smallest hint of a smile, "Yes, now you remember what to do I trust?"
"Of course." Victoria shut her eyes leaning back into the seat. Clearing her mind of all outside distractions she thought only of her body changing forms. Suddenly she felt strange. She felt like her body had suddenly sprouted hair all over it. It wasn't exactly a pleasant sensation, but not completely uncomfortable either. Opening her eyes she saw that she had in fact done exactly that. Her entire body, at least what she could see of it was covered in what looked to be black fur. Looking at Minerva, she saw the older woman try, unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh.
Finally Minerva pointed her wand at Victoria changing the girl back to her usual form. "You did well." Minerva said, her voice still held a slight laugh.
"I was furry, how do you think that's doing well?" Victoria asked in annoyance.
"It shows that you are improving. Now try it again. This time concentrate a little harder about your body."
Victoria nodded, closing her eyes again. She cleared her mind and thought hard about her body changing. She thought she could feel her organs change inside her, the bones in her body grow smaller, and once again fur began to cover her body. After a moment she realized that something must have happened. She could feel herself sitting in the chair, but her legs no longer were going off the chair. She could feel her, were they paws, against the seat of the chair as well. The thing that surprised her most was the feeling of her tail as it swished back and forth against the back of the chair. Opening her eyes again she was shocked to see that it looked like everything in the office had suddenly grown. Looking up at Minerva she saw the older woman with a bright smile on her face. Victoria wanted to ask what she was smiling about, but when she opened her mouth all that came out was a soft meow. Startling herself Victoria jumped back.
Minerva laughed lightly, "Why don't you go and have a look?"
Victoria jumped down from the chair and padded her way over to the door where a full-length mirror was placed. Seeing herself for the first time she jumped slightly again. She was actually a cat, an extremely fluffy little black cat with white on her tummy, paws, and a little spot under her chin. Inspecting herself for a few minutes she realized that the only way of recognizing herself was her eyes. They remained the same brilliant blue of her human form.
Minerva came to stand next to her, "Would you like to attempt turning back?"
Victoria twitched her whiskers and closed her eyes again. A moment later she felt her body return to its normal height. Opening her eyes she was unhappy to see that she had managed to return almost completely back, with the exception of the whiskers which remained. Minerva gave a wave of her wand and removed them quickly, "That was wonderful!" she beamed.
Victoria smiled sheepishly back, "But I still had whiskers."
Minerva waved her hand, "The first time I changed back, I had a tail. You really did a magnificent job."
Victoria smiled, "Thank you Professor. I couldn't have done it without you."
"I believe that will be enough for tonight. We will resume this after the holidays."
Victoria nodded walking towards the door, "Have a good night Professor. I'll see you in the morning."
"Good evening Victoria." Minerva waved, shutting the door behind her.
…
A few hours later Minerva found herself knocking on the Headmaster's door. Fear crept into her chest making her want to retreat, but she stood her ground until the door opened revealing Dumbledore with a bright smile on his face. He wore robes of bright red, making him the picture of Father Christmas with the white hair and beard. His blue eyes twinkled down at her as he said, "Professor McGonagall, good evening."
"May I come in?" She asked stiffly, still feeling slightly nervous.
He nodded, opening the door a little farther and stepping aside so that she could enter. He motioned for her to sit at the great wing-backed chairs in front of the fire as he crossed to get drinks for them. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" He asked setting the Gillywater down next to her.
"I have been helping Victoria with becoming an Animagus for the last few months." She answered taking her glass from the table and holding it in her hands without taking a sip.
"I'm pleased to hear that. How is she progressing?" He asked, noticing her stiff demeanor, wondering what had her on edge.
"She managed to transform fully tonight." She said taking a sip from her glass.
He smiled, turning to face the fire, "Excellent, what is her form?"
"She's a cat." She watched as he turned to her, a knowing smile on his face. "You knew. You knew about her all along."
"No, I only had a feeling." He said leaning back in his chair.
Rising from her chair she crossed to the fireplace. She had known since she first saw Victoria again that she should tell him the truth, but hadn't found the right time to do it. Unsure if it was the right moment, she paused looking into the fire, hoping to find her answer. Making her decision in that split second she started, "Albus, that night…"
He cut her off, "Minerva, you don't need to explain."
"No, Albus I need to say this." Taking a moment to pause and take a deep, steadying breath, she started again, "That night was nothing less than magical. It was the best night of my life, and I don't regret a moment of it."
"What are you saying my dear?" He asked looking at her curiously. Could she possibly be saying the one thing he'd wanted to hear for nearly 30 years?
She turned to him, looking into his eyes, pleading for him to understand, "I'm saying I love you Albus. I have for a long time. I realize I should have told you that night. I should have had more courage. If I did, things would have been infinitely better. I not only would have had you, but I would have had our daughter."
"She's ours?" He asked in shock.
Her eyes grew wide, "You didn't know, I thought you said…"
"I had known she was yours. I did not know she was ours."
"Albus you are the only man I have ever been with. She is ours, yours and mine, our little girl."
He went to her, taking her hands in his, "Why didn't you tell me?"
She looked down at their intertwined hands, a rush of happiness filled her at the small connection, "I couldn't. I knew that you would have wanted to marry me. I wanted you, more than you will ever know, but I didn't want you that way. I wanted you to come to me, not because we made a mistake and you thought that you could fix it, instead, because you truly wanted me."
"Minerva, how could you ever think that?" He asked placing a hand under her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes, "I love you. I have loved you since before that night." To show her he was honest he pulled her to him, kissing her passionately. They broke away a second later, both breathless. "You should have told me."
"I know. I should have, I was wrong. But we can't go back in time. All we can do is accept what happened and move on. Will you move on with me?" She asked with an uncharacteristic look of fear shining in her eyes.
"Nothing would make me happier." He kissed her again, pouring all the love he felt for her into that single kiss.
"There is one more thing." She said pulling back slightly from him, "I haven't told her yet. I don't think we should."
He nodded, looking down contemplatively. "I agree. I don't think now is the time. I do believe that we will tell her someday, but that day is yet to come. For now, we will just keep an eye on her."
"How can we not? She is ours." She smiled.
"Ours. Our love created that beautiful girl." He grinned pulling her to him again.
Pulling back from him again she looked into his eyes, "I do love you," she said quietly.
"And I you my dear." He beamed back, pulling her in for another kiss.