Ch 30
A/N: Look at this! Everyone should be proud of me, two chapters in less than a month, lol. I would like to say a huge thanks to slenderpanda597 for being my beta, at least for the one piece of this I let her read early. And another goes to 13Sarah94, who keeps giving me some of the great ideas I use for this and I keep forgetting to thank her here. So here's another chapter that I personally love. Hope you like it too.
...
A few days later, Victoria had to leave for Hogwarts. Saying her goodbye once again to Remus had been easier this year than others, knowing that she would see him shortly with the Order meetings. However her fear for him increased, realizing that he would be in danger of being discovered once again. He had assured her that he would be fine, however she couldn't help but worry.
She was going to say farewell to Tonks as well, but realized sadly that she'd already left for work. So tying her trunk, and the carrier Regina laid in, once more to her broom she took off for another year of protecting the students. Little did she know what she would be protecting them from.
As she started her decent a few hours later, seeing the spires of Hogwarts standing tall in the sky over the countryside, she couldn't help the smile that came over her face. Touching down, feet in front of the gates of the castle, she levitated her trunk and started her way across the grounds.
A wonderful sense of wellbeing enveloped her as the sounds and scents of the grounds permeated the air around her. Continuing on, she returned a wave that Hagrid gave her as she walked by his hut, beaming as he tended to his garden. She didn't know how much more perfect her welcome back could be.
Stepping through the doors to the entrance hall, she realized, yet again, she had missed breakfast. Making her way through the quiet halls she soon found herself in front of Dumbledore's office. This time having gotten the password from him at the last Order meeting she quickly said, "Pixie Puffs". The gargoyle jumped to life at this leaping to the side.
As she ascended the stairs she could hear voices from inside. One of them she could easily recognize as being Dumbledore's, speaking in an easy tone. Another was Minerva's sounding agitated, but at what Victoria couldn't tell. Taking a moment to decide if she really wanted to interrupt Minerva when she was in a bad mood, she finally raised her fist to the door.
A moment later Dumbledore was standing in front of her, a smile graced his lips as he saw her, "Victoria, come in."
She smiled back, warily entering the room. Stepping inside she saw Minerva, her arms crossed in front of her, her back as rigid as an ironing board, and her lips nearly disappearing, standing next to Dumbledore's desk, glaring at a woman near the fireplace. The woman receiving the dark look was a squat little woman in a garish shade of pink from head to toe. What looked like a tea cozy sat on her head, and a fuzzy pink sweater covered her arms despite the warm weather.
Taking a quick look around, Victoria noticed that yet another person was also in the room. Nearly blending into the back wall was Tonks, looking uncharacteristically angry, casting furtive glances between the two women. Realizing that Tonks was wearing the customary Auror trench Victoria quickly surmised her presence there.
Dumbledore spoke again, "Victoria, I am certain that you have already met Senior Undersecretary Delores Umbridge."
Victoria gave a tight smile, trying desperately not to remember the last time she'd seen the woman. Umbridge had spoken in behalf of one of the men Victoria had recently brought in for Muggle baiting, and had succeeded in getting him off. "Madam Undersecretary," Victoria nodded.
The woman gave a smile, giggling, "It's Professor Umbridge now."
Victoria's eyes shot up to Dumbledore's begging him to tell her this was all a joke. Dumbledore gave a nod, "The Ministry has recently passed a decree stating that should I be unable to acquire my own teachers one would be provided for me. Madam Umbridge has been selected."
Victoria spoke quietly so that only Dumbledore could hear her, "If you were that worried about a DADA teacher, why didn't you tell me."
"I am sorry Victoria, but I was unable to. The Ministry determined that you would be more effective as an Auror." He answered in a normal tone, a slight edge to it as he glanced at Umbridge.
"That is correct," Umbridge added. "The Ministry feels that someone more… conservative would be necessary for the post this year."
"So they chose you?" Tonks asked from her corner, her hair now turning a brilliant shade of scarlet.
Umbridge turned on her, "What is it that you're implying my dear?"
"I'm implying, that you don't know the first thing about Defense Against the Dark Arts," Tonks countered taking a step closer to her.
"What is there to know?" Umbridge asked, "It is merely teaching what the Ministry has approved."
"Is that what you think?!" Minerva shouted, her voice holding a thick Scottish accent. "Teaching is merely spouting words from a book?! You are sorely mistaken Delores!"
"Minerva," Delores smiled, but her eyes held a malicious glint, "does your temper rise to this extent with your students dear? I fear I must let the Minister know about this."
"Good!" Minerva shouted, "and while you're at it…"
"Minerva…" Dumbledore interrupted before she could finish her sentence. "I am sure Professor Umbridge will only be advising the Minister of matters of great importance."
"While we are on the subject Albus," Umbridge added quickly, "I realize that the Auror office has already chosen these two… women to guard the school this year, but do you believe that it is truly necessary?"
"Excuse me?" Victoria asked, finally finding her voice.
"While it is true that the circumstances of last year were ghastly," Umbridge spoke to Dumbledore, ignoring Victoria and Tonks completely, "I do not believe that their presence would be beneficial to the everyday running of the school," she said with a smile.
"Madam Undersecretary," Dumbledore said, a hard edge to his voice. "Although I am pleased that you believe the school to be under no further threat, I must remind you that it was not I who requested their presence here, but the Minister himself. As well I am certain that the parents of each and every student in attendance here this year will be delighted to know that our safety standards are the highest available."
"Well Headmaster," Umbridge said with a huff, pulling herself up to her full, and unsubstantial, height, "I believe our meeting here is done. I shall see you at dinner."
Dumbledore nodded, opening the door for her.
Minerva let out low growl as soon as she left, "That… woman!"
"Toad's more like it," Tonks added crossing her arms in front of her chest.
"Ladies please, we must remain civil," Dumbledore said turning back to the three.
"Tell that to her," Victoria retorted, "she's the one who thinks we're pointless."
"That is not what she said," Dumbledore countered, rubbing his temples.
"No, she said we were unnecessary, which is basically the same thing." Tonks shot back.
"Alas I regret she is here for the duration. The Minister has placed her in the position and will not hear of a replacement." He stated simply taking his glasses in one hand and pinching the bridge of his crooked nose with the other, trying to alleviate the headache he felt coming on.
"Should we just quit now?" Tonks asked looking at Victoria.
"It'd be easier than being thrown out." Victoria shrugged.
"Victoria, Tonks, please. You both know I appreciate your presence here more than I can express." He said looking to the two of them in turn.
"What do you think Vicky?" Tonks asked with a slight wink.
"I don't know," Victoria smiled back, "we might find a way to make ourselves useful."
Dumbledore looked back to the two with a smile. "Thank you. Now if you will please reacquaint yourselves with the castle, I have something I must discuss with Professor McGonagall."
"Sure," Victoria smiled, "we'll see you later," closing the door behind them.
Minerva dropped into the chair in front of his desk as the door shut. "Albus how can you allow that wretched woman to remain here?"
"Minerva you know as well as I that she has been sent here by the Ministry." He answered walking around the desk and stopping directly behind her chair. Placing his hands over her shoulders and massaging them gently he continued, "It is only for this year."
"I may be dead before she is gone," Minerva retorted relaxing into the chair, reveling in the feeling of his hands.
Albus looked down at her, giving her a light kiss, "I would be most upset if that were true."
She smiled back, "I suppose I could attempt to be courteous."
"That is all I ask my dear," he said gently wrapping his arms around her.
"Although I will not enjoy it," Minerva added before he enveloped her mouth once again.
…
It had been a relatively uneventful few weeks with few encounters with Umbridge, and even less time that she was able to spend with Tonks as the grounds were extensive. It was finally her first night off and Victoria was ecstatic at the prospect. Severus had promised her earlier in the day that they could continue with their Legitimency lessons, so this was where she was headed. As she made her way towards his office she heard a strange crashing and banging noise coming from deep in the dungeons. Following the sound she found herself directly in front of his door. Raising her hand cautiously to knock she heard yet another loud crash sound from within.
A moment later the door was wrenched open to reveal a disheveled looking Severus. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were wild, looking like he was ready to curse who so ever disturbed him. His robes were covered in a fine layer of dust and his hair looked as if he'd just run his fingers through it multiple times.
Finally seeing it was her he took a deep breath, "Victoria."
"I'm sorry Severus, but you said we could have a lesson tonight," she said weakly.
"That may well be, however, now is not the time." He moved to shut the door, but stopped as she put her hand up.
"Severus, what's going on?" she asked gently.
He finally gave in, opening the door further to allow her admittance. "That… woman," he growled slumping down into the chair behind his desk.
Seeing the state of his office she realized that the crashes were indeed from his office, broken potion bottles littered the floor while various items were strewn about obviously having been thrown. "Umbridge I take it." she stated more than asked.
He gave a nod, "The nerve of her! She had the audacity to question me in front of my students!"
Victoria shook her head, not daring to say anything.
"I have yet to understand how Dumbledore allows her to remain here," he stated angrily, throwing a heavy looking book at yet another shelf of potions.
"He doesn't really have a choice. The Minister sent her," Victoria said gently. "Personally I think he sent her to get her away from him," she added with a smile.
"I could not blame him." Severus growled. He sighed, visibly relaxing back into his chair.
"If you would like to… reschedule we can," she said gently after a moment.
"No, your training is nearly complete. Let us continue." He got up from his chair and swept his wand over the room, making each item right itself.
"Impressive," she said with an incredulous look.
He gave her a smirk and then took a seat next to the fire, inviting her to join him. Once she did he continued, "Tonight I will endeavor to keep you out of my mind. I wish for you to strive to penetrate it."
"Ok," she answered with a sigh, unsure if she'd be able to.
Looking deep into his eyes, she found for the first time in her training that she was unable to see past them. It was as if an impenetrable wall had been constructed there, but she was determined. Pushing harder with her mind she saw a fissure begin to form in the wall. Giving another hard push she saw a glimmer of a memory flicker through what seemed to be a curtain. Finally able to see it fully she focused all her energy on the memory.
Suddenly she found herself in a dingy room, cramped and full to the bursting with books. Dust swirled through the area, while the smell of smoke and rotting garbage permeated air. In the corner of the room, nearly hidden in the shadows was a small boy who looked to be no older than five. The boy had long dark hair, charcoal trousers and white smock three sizes too big. The shirt he wore was covered in what looked like blood as he held his nose which was still bleeding. Bruises were already starting around his eyes as tears streamed from them. He cowered, trying to blend into the background.
Somewhere in the back of the house a blood-curdling scream sounded from a woman. A moment later she cried, "Severus, go! Get out of here!"
The boy didn't even try to look back. He ran as fast as his little feet could take him, slamming the door behind him. He ran until his legs could no longer support him and he sank to the ground, not caring about the hard cement digging harshly into his knees. He collapsed as his lungs could no longer keep up the strength needed to go on. All went dark as the boy slipped into unconsciousness.
Pulling herself quickly back out of his memory, she realized tears were spilling onto her own cheeks.
He looked away from her, rising from his seat and walking behind it, unconsciously distancing himself from her.
"I'm sorry…" she managed to choke out.
"It was long ago," he said quietly.
"No child should have to go through that," she answered rising as well.
"It is the past."
"Severus," she said putting a hand on his arm, "you don't have to be that strong for me."
He nodded, still unable to look at her. No one had seen his past before and he was unsure if he was truly at ease with her seeing it. Unexpectedly he felt her arms encircle him, pulling him into a comforting hug.
"You've been through a lot," she said into his chest. "I can't imagine what that was like to go through."
He pulled back from her a moment later, not allowing himself to enjoy the comfort of her embrace for long. "I am pleased you never had to endure what I did."
She gave him a slight smile, "You endured well."
He shook his head. He couldn't handle having her delve any further into his memories. "I believe we are finished. There is nothing more I can teach you."
"I appreciate what you did Severus. It took a lot to be able to let me see everything. Thank you," she said with a true smile.
He gave a nod, unable to say anything more.
"Well I guess I better go. Again thank you, you have no idea how much it means to me," she said turning to the door.
"You are welcome," he finally said, the courteousness sounding strange to his own ears.
"Have a good night Severus, or at least try to," she smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving him alone once more.
…
The only sound that could be heard through the halls was the steady clack of her footfalls on the stone floor as Victoria wandered the halls. In the course of her guard duty that night she found herself in a part of the dungeons previously undiscovered by her. Opening a dark wooden door which had no nameplate she found herself in, what she originally thought to be, an empty classroom. However, as she stepped farther in she saw a glow from the front of the room.
Moving closer she realized that it was not a light after all, but her own wand light reflected back from a beautifully ornate mirror. The frame was a gleaming gold as if it had been recently polished, with delicate scroll work and filigree covering it. As she stood in front of it she realized that there was wording above its surface. It looked to be a foreign language, as she attempted to read the wording. Ignoring her own image for a moment she slowly started to sound out the words, "Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi".
Looking down a moment later she saw, as she'd expected to, herself staring back. Studying her image she let her eyes take in her appearance from her brilliant blue eyes, to her black hair cascading in gentle waves down her back. As she followed the trail of her hair she noticed something strange around her side. At first it looked as if she had a large black belt around her leather trench, but as she followed its path she realized that it was actually someone's arm.
Her eyes immediately shot back up to her face. She realized then that she could in fact see someone else in the reflection behind her with their arms around her. His head was down, his dark hair falling over his face and spilling onto her shoulder as she watched him plant a gentle kiss to her neck. As he looked up she realized with a start that it was Severus.
Turning around quickly, there was no one behind her. Looking back at her reflection he was still there, his hands still firmly in place, holding her securely from behind, as he rested his chin on her shoulder.
Spinning around, her eyes wildly scanned the room, trying once again to figure out if this was some kind of trick. Searching the entire room and the back of the mirror itself she could find nothing. She could feel her heart beating furiously in her chest and her breath come out in short bursts as her mind was going a mile a minute trying desperately to figure out what was going on.
'This must be some kind of strange spell,' she finally thought to herself, turning back to the mirror.
He looked truly happy, his inky black eyes twinkled and a soft smile graced his features. She'd never seen him look quite as peaceful as she saw him there. Watching as he gave her a gentle squeeze and she saw herself turn and give him a tender kiss. She felt her heart give a tug, realizing in that moment she looked as serene as he did. An unconscious smile played across her face and her own eyes held a sparkle matching his.
She was still unable to understand what kind of magic was affecting this mirror, but at the moment she didn't care. Standing back from it she decided to revel in the moment. As she watched herself kiss him once again she couldn't help but wonder why it made her skin tingle as it did.
"What is wrong with me?" she asked aloud shaking her head.
Glancing up once more, an understanding came over her. Reading the letters backwards she realized the truth, "I show not your face but your hearts desire."
'Is that true?' she thought frantically. Did she truly desire Severus? Was it simply a trick of her mind? She had been alone for a long time, was he simply a friend and this mirror interpreted it wrong?
Looking to their smiling faces once more she could no longer deny the truth. Seeing him place a soft kiss to her shoulder she felt an involuntary shiver run along her spine.
"I love him," she stated simply to the room.
A tear slipped down her cheek as she realized the image in front of her could never be. Whirling suddenly away from her reflection she felt another tear streak down her face. Dashing from the room with a renewed speed, spurred on by the heart wrenching sight she slammed the door to the room. The echoes reverberating throughout the darkened corridor around her drowned out the sound of her own thoughts.
Damning the cursed mirror she sped away wishing she had never come to that part of the castle that night. It was an image she knew would haunt her forever, yet one she knew would never come true.
…
Luckily the holidays came rather quickly for Victoria and Tonks. They decided to spend their time at Grimauld place, knowing that Sirius was driving himself crazy not being able to leave the house. Arriving there after everyone else was already asleep; Sirius was standing in the kitchen, a bottle of Firewhiskey open in front of him.
"Vicky! Tonks! How are my two favorite girls?" He smiled pulling them both into a hug as he saw them apparate into the room.
"Looks like we're just in time for the party," Tonks laughed pulling back from him.
"Indeed you are," he said taking the bottle and walking into the drawing room. The girls shrugged at each other and followed him.
Making their way into the room they saw Remus stretched out across one of the couches with four glasses on the coffee table in front of him. "Evening ladies," he smiled easily, getting up to hug Victoria and giving a smile to Tonks.
"Oh no you don't Moony," Sirius said pulling Victoria out of his arms. Unsteady himself they both landed, laughing on the couch opposite him. "This one's mine."
"Ok, that's enough for you," Victoria said extricating herself from Sirius's arms.
"Spoilsport," he pouted. Smiling he turned to the others, "Come on you lot, drink up. That's what the holidays are for."
"Funny, I thought the holidays were for spending time with your family and friends," Remus countered pouring a drink for each of them.
"That's what they want you to think," Sirius said with a wave of his hand. "It's really for drinking." He pulled the drink out of Victoria's hand, with a slight cry of indignation from her and proceeded to drink it down.
"At this rate we'll never catch up to him," Tonks laughed picking up her own drink.
"Are you sure you want to?" Victoria asked watching as he swayed in his seat.
Tonks shrugged, "The holidays only come once a year."
"That's my little cousin," Sirius beamed, clinking his, once again full, glass with her.
Remus shook his head, "It's obvious you're related."
Tonks slammed her glass back down on the table, now empty, smiling she said, "Why thank you."
Victoria looked over at Remus, neither of which had taken a drink yet, asking, "What do you say Remus?"
He looked between Tonks and Sirius, then smiled, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."
Victoria smiled and clinked her glass with his.
The hours passed quickly as the four retold stories from their past, laughing at each other's antics, not having a care in the world. Tonks was stretched out on a chair near Remus, who was sprawled out on one of the couches. Sirius had an arm wrapped around Victoria's shoulders as she leaned into him, feeling completely contented with her best friends.
As the clock struck two, Tonks looked over at it as if unable to understand the noise, "What was that?" she slurred.
"The clock," Victoria answered taking another drink.
"What time is it?" Remus asked sleepily.
"Two," Victoria answered putting her glass back down on the table.
"We should get to bed," Tonks stated, getting up too quickly and falling back into the chair with a laugh. "Merlin am I pissed."
"Why are you pissed?" Victoria asked curiously.
"With as much as I've had to drink tonight it would be amazing if I wasn't," Tonks laughed.
"That doesn't explain you being pissed," Victoria said, now completely confused.
"Americans," Sirius groaned.
"What?" Victoria asked.
"She means she's drunk," Remus answered, pushing himself up from the couch.
"Oh," Victoria laughed.
"Remus will you take me to bed?" Tonks said sleepily.
Remus's eyes glittered, but shook his head, "No, I'll show you to your room," he answered pulling her up from her chair.
"That's what I meant," she said throwing an arm around his shoulders.
"Oi, Moony," Sirius called just before the two left the room.
Remus turned around, Tonks still hanging precariously onto him, "Yes?"
"You told me to let you know when I found the one," Sirius said receiving a curious look from Victoria.
Remus nodded.
"I found her," Sirius smiled, watching as Remus shook his head and led Tonks to her bedroom.
"What was that all about?" Victoria asked looking at Sirius.
"That's personal, Love, if I tell you I'd have to kill you," he smirked leaning closer to her.
Not realizing they were quite as close as they were she leaned into him, "Maybe I'll take that chance," she challenged.
He studied her for a moment, his glassy eyes taking in her flushed face. He swiftly captured her lips with his. She leaned back into the couch as he pushed her back gently. They were lost in each other for a long moment as their lips melted to one another's. Pulling back to breathe he sighed, "Victoria."
Her eyes were still closed as she whispered, "Oh Severus."
His eyes shot open, feeling as if he'd just been slapped, suddenly more sober than he ever thought possible. Looking at her, he realized with her steady deep breathing she was asleep. Fighting with himself to wake her up and question her, or just let her sleep, he finally decided to do the later. Pulling himself from his position he pulled a moth-eaten blanket from the back of the couch and placed it over her sleeping form.
Giving her another look, he felt as if she'd torn his heart out of his chest as he turned out the light and staggered his way up the stairs.
…
The next morning Victoria woke up with the worst headache on record and a stomach that seemed to be rotating more than a tumble dryer. Pushing herself up gently from the couch she held her head in her hands willing it to stop throbbing. Finally realizing that she wasn't getting anywhere she pulled herself gingerly to her feet and plodded her way to the kitchen.
Finding Mrs. Weasley already hard at work on breakfast, the clanking of pots and pans seemed to echo through her brain. "Good morning dear," Mrs. Weasley called happily. "What can I get you for breakfast?" she asked turning back to the stove.
"A new head," Victoria answered flopping unceremoniously into a chair.
"A bit of the drink last night was it?" she asked with a bit of a smirk.
"Yeah," Victoria answered her clutching her head once again.
Molly chuckled lightly, "I'm afraid you are on your own with that. There's no magical remedy for a hangover."
"Ugh," Victoria sighed.
A moment later Sirius slumped into the room looking rather worse for the wear. Seeing Victoria he made a hasty retreat. Victoria looked up just as he left, unable to understand his swift departure. Pulling herself back to her feet she followed him into the drawing room, seeing him sprawled out one the same couch she'd spent the night on. "Morning Sirius," she said entering the room.
"Morning," he grumbled, not even looking up.
"Sleep well?" she asked flopping into a chair.
"Not as well as you I'm sure," he said turning onto his back.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked eyeing him curiously.
"I'm certain my dreams weren't as… sweet as yours," he retorted sharply.
"What are you talking about?" she asked trying desperately to understand him through the fog in her head.
"Obviously someone doesn't remember all of last night," he shot back.
"No I don't," she answered honestly.
He gave a deep sigh, knowing she was telling the truth. Giving her a piercing look he asked, "Do you have feelings for Severus Snape?"
She was taken aback, not knowing where the question was coming from. It seemed as if he was suddenly reading her mind, but she knew he couldn't. "What… what did you say?" she asked feeling her heart pick up speed.
"I asked," he said pulling himself up from his position and turned, stepping up to her, "are you in love with Severus Snape?"
"I… I don't know what you're talking about," she answered quietly, not able to look him in the eye.
He closed his eyes, shaking his head, "How Vicky? How could you be in love with that git?"
"I'm not," she said turning away from him, wrapping her arms around herself.
"You said his name in your sleep last night," he countered, keeping his voice low.
"Yeah, and I've probably said your name or Remus's or any number of others in my sleep before too. What does that prove?" she asked as angry tears started to prick at her eyes.
"While you were snogging someone else?" he asked, watching as she spun around to face him.
"What?" she asked incredulously.
"You said it while we were snogging last night," he answered. "Not that you remember," he added quietly.
"I'm sorry Sirius, I had no idea," she pleaded, taking his hand.
"Just be honest with me Vicky." He looked deep into her eyes as he asked once more, "Are you in love with him?"
"No," she said quietly, a tear trailing down her cheek.
Sirius shook his head again, wiping the tear away from her cheek. He resigned himself to the truth in that moment, she wasn't his and never would be, but she was still one of his best friends. Pulling her face back up to look at him he gave a small smile, "Hey, it's not the end of the world."
She gave a short laugh, "It's not? Cause I thought that's what the Dark Lord wanted."
"Who said we're letting him win?"
She smiled giving him a tight hug, "Thank you Sirius."
"For what?" he asked returning the hug while he could feel his heart breaking.
"For being a great friend," she answered looking up at him, still wrapped in his embrace.
He smiled giving her a light kiss on the forehead, "That's what I'm best at."
...
A/N2: I'd just like to say that I know I'm being really horrible to Sirius in this story, but he is really one of the best characters in the books. I just can't make him happy here. :(