Jay worked in silenced. Not once did he look up from his latest project, not once did he respond to Tim's attempts to help him. He did not accept the tools Tim brought him unless Tim backed away after putting them down. And it made Tim feel sick to know that Jay was afraid. He didn't regret tearing that bastard's arm off, not in the slightest. But he did regret upsetting Jay so badly. Perhaps it had been selfish of him to attack Alex like that.
But he was upsetting Jay. I was just protecting Jay. He deserved it, too. He doesn't care about Jay like I do. He doesn't care about Jay at all.
Occasionally he tried to apologize to him, tried to explain why he did it, tried to explain that he would never do anything like that to him. There was never any response. He wasn't even sure if Jay was registering his words. Once, he tried to grab Jay's shoulder to get his attention, but the man had cringed and almost fell in his attempt to get away. After that, he decided to simply stay in the kitchen and out of his way.
Every once in a while, Jay would come in and fix himself something small to eat. He never stayed, he always brought it back to the shop. In the later hours of the night Tim would stick his head through the door to check on him and find him asleep at the work table slouched over, his head resting on his arms.
He hadn't seen Jay in the kitchen in quite awhile, though, and every time he checked on him the little working light was on and Jay was slumped over and working. The tiny window above the sink told him that it was dawning on the next morning. Which meant that Jay hadn't slept or eaten in exactly 26 hours and 18 minutes, if he remembered correctly. Tim's mouth set into a firm frown. He had never done anything more than work the coffee pot, but he was willing to try for Jay's sake.
His body was sore, his head ached, his skin was crawling from lack of showering. His stomach screamed for something, anything to stop the hunger. Jay knew he should stop soon, take a break like Tim had suggested so many times. The thought of facing him again only made his stomach feel worse, though. Tim sounded genuinely distressed and Jay was pretty sure he understood exactly what he had done. But every time he apologized, it was followed by an excuse.
No, don't justify it. Just don't justify it and I'll accept your apology. Just admit that what you did was wrong and irrational and promise me you'll never do anything like it again, to anyone, for any reason.
Every time Tim approached him these were the words Jay wanted to scream. He wanted to scream and bury his face in Tim's chest and sleep it all off and he wanted to let himself cry. He didn't cry very often, despite battling a constant stream of loneliness and depression. But he still didn't deal very well with shock, and Alex had been his only real friend. Jessica, a co-worker of his, stopped by occasionally to borrow tools or have a quick cup of coffee. However, they didn't talk much and he never really considered her a close friend.
"Jay?"
He sighed, snapping his goggles up on his forehead and turning to look at Tim. Both mens' expressions turned to surprise. In one hand Tim was holding a plate with a slightly burned bagel, scrambled eggs, and bacon. In the other, a cup of coffee. Jay smiled a little despite himself. It was a sweet gesture. And he was so tired of this awful routine. Maybe he could give him some slack. Maybe Tim would come to understand eventually.
"You haven't eaten anything in a while, so I tried to make you breakfast."
"Thanks, Tim."
"Why don't you come and sit down for a while? I'll leave you alone if you want, I won't stay in the room if it would make you feel..." Tim swallowed hard, closing his eyes as if it physically pained him to say the word. "Safer."
"No, you can stay. I'd actually prefer it."
"R-Really?"
Jay nodded, taking the plate and cup from Tim and starting towards the kitchen.
They sat in silence, but it didn't matter to Tim. Jay was in the same room as him, eating breakfast like he would any other day. It was almost normal. Jay didn't cast suspicious glances in his direction any more. He took his time eating, un-rushed and unafraid.
"Hey, Tim, hand me that piece of tubing over there?"
Tim looked up from the order form he was reading. A small amount of these had piled up over the past week and a half and Tim had tried very hard to complete some of the more complicated ones so that Jay didn't have to deal with them when he was done with the arm. So far he'd completed three of them.
"Er, sure."
"Thanks."
"You're welcome." He raised his eyebrows, surprised but elated that Jay was speaking to him. Asking for help, to boot. "Do you need any help with that?"
"Actually, could you hold this up so I can thread the tube through easier?"
"Yeah, no problem."
"Oh, that clockwork grenade set you put together for me shipped last night. You can start the next thing, if you want. I should be done with this tomorrow. I appreciate the work you've been doing, by the way."
Jay paused for a moment, giving Tim a warm smile.
"Pull that hook into place, right there. Yeah, like that."