Author's Note: Thank you again for all the reviews and follows and kind messages about my story. The preview released yesterday made me so mad that we saw nothing of our girl. That just means that they are keeping her return on the down low because it will be so amazing, just like she is. So, to celebrate her epicness, Merle is going to give her a little something something in this chapter. Enjoy and let me know how i did with the Marol smut. It was intimidating trying to tackle it, so much of Merle is head canon so I hope I did him justice.

XOXO Pamela

4. Feel

They had spent the last three days preparing for the Governor's imminent attack. Rick never spoke of why he was so certain he was coming with his reign of terror but she knew it was because Michonne was never delivered to him. It had to be not only Merle backing out of his mission, but because Daryl, Rick and Hershel called it off. They spent their days prepping and drilling about their roles in the battle. Beth, Hershel and Carl were to take Judith to the woods outside the fences and wait it out. They rest of them would try to fight off the Woodbury soldiers as best as possible.

Dinner was finished for the evening and Carol was jittery. Everyone was quiet to the point of the atmosphere being uncomfortable. Each member of the group had their meager possessions packed and ready to go at a moment's notice. Carol sat in her cell, fingering the ragged elastic hairband that encircled her wrist. She missed her little girl so much. She missed the way her hair smelled like the grape scented shampoo Sophia loved so much. She missed when Ed would be thankfully out of town and they could go to the botanical gardens together. It was their favorite place to go. They were surrounded by the beauty of nature and Sophia had begged Carol time and time again to start their own greenhouse. She wished she had been brave enough to do it, to give her daughter that simple joy even if it was only for a brief time. A time before everything was ripped away, before she was ripped away. Carol hoped if the end came tomorrow, it was quick and she would be able to be with her baby again. She covered her face with her hands as the desolate thought crept into her brain.

She had to get out of the cell, it was suffocating. She headed to the only place she knew she could be safe and alone with her thoughts this time of night. She grabbed a flashlight and made her way to the generator room. Once she got inside, she slid down the wall and sat there in the darkness.

"Came here to chase the demons away?" Merle's gravelly voice reaching her through the pitch blackness shocked Carol and she startled, hitting her head against the wall. She rubbed it, wincing. He stepped forward and her eyes adjusted. She could make him out, standing in the same area he was the day that changed everything between them.

"I can't sleep. I just keep thinking that this is it. That tomorrow I don't have to keep fighting to just survive. That this nightmare will be over for me and I can just be with my little girl again." She let the tears fall, no longer ashamed of her wretched grief.

"There now, Mouse. I ain't gonna listen to you talk like that. Battle hasn't even begun. You'll be snug and safe in your bed at the end of all this" Merle approached her, sinking down to his knees in front of her. She could barely see him but she knew he was not there to antagonize her. If anything, he was trying, in his own stunted way, to give her some comfort.

She looked up and wiped her eyes, sniffling softly. She just wanted to push the pain back down inside of her. She wanted to forget, just for a moment, that life was normal. That she wasn't waiting to be attacked by a psychopath that wanted to kill her entire family. She wanted to feel something good, something to make her feel like all this struggling was not all for naught. She didn't even think, she just acted. She got up on her knees and kissed him, her hands cupping his stubbly face. It was a tender kiss, all soft lips. She felt his good hand slip around to grasp her hip and pull her closer. She moved her hands from his face to the buttons of his shirt, unbuttoning it while never breaking the kiss. She slid his shirt down until I met his forearms, the one sleeve caught on his arm attachment. Her lips left his as she stopped to remove it. She took her time and was gentle and Merle let her slide it off of him. Her fingers delicately brushed over the knotted scar tissue. It was not a pretty sight and her throat constricted with the thought of the pain he must have endured to save himself from the rooftop in Atlanta that day. He made no protest, in fact, his other hand was stroking her thigh as he watched her silently. She bit her lip as she finally spoke, "I want to feel something tonight. I want to feel you deep inside of me before it all goes to hell."

Raw hunger flashed in his eyes right before his mouth found hers again. They kissed as passionately as the first time and Carol knew at that moment she was lost to him. He seared himself onto her in a way no man ever had. No matter what happened after this, she knew she would take the memory of this night and lock it into her heart to keep forever. She helped him rip her shirt off and undid her pants herself, shimmying out of them, taking her faded granny panties with them. Luckily, it was too dark for Carol to feel embarrassed by her pathetic excuse for lingerie. She wore no bra and his mouth found her nipple immediately, licking it with just the tip of his tongue. She was trembling as she tried to unzip his pants, a combination of nerves and lust overtaking her. His tongue slid a wet trail to her other breast as she freed his erection, wrapping her hand around it. His mouth was locked onto her nipple as he let out a drawn out groan, the vibrations shooting straight through her. She mindless pumped his cock while she simmered in the delicious sensations he was causing her. He released her with a salaciously wet sound. "You keep doing that and I'll never make it inside of you. I want to come in you, not in your hand." His voice was gravelly and laced with unsuppressed want.

She let go of his cock long enough to help him get his pants completely off, along with his boxers. They were both now naked on the dirty floor of the generator room, but Carol couldn't have cared less. She wanted him so badly she thought she would even give it a go on a pile of walkers. Merle laid back and Carol realized he wanted her to ride him. She figured missionary would be difficult for him on the concrete surface without his attachment. She hadn't ridden cowgirl in years but one look at his aroused dick throbbing against his abdomen had her drenched and mounting him right away. She slid him against her, his cock splitting her wet lips. She lifted herself just enough to impale herself on him at an agonizingly slow descent. She tried to set a slow rhythm but he felt too good and she felt herself speeding up, rising and falling on him quickly as her wetness coated him completely. She tried to be quiet, the walls of the room already amplifying the volume of her moans. His good hand was gripping her ass, kneading it as he helped himself meet her thrusts. She could hear his panting and moaning increase and knew he was close. She was already there and threw herself down onto his chest to kiss him as she reached her orgasm. His balls tightened and he followed seconds later, pushing up into her as he came hard.

She tried to move off of him but he held her still. "Don't fucking move. I just want to stay inside you a little longer. You feel too damn good." She smiled wickedly and swiveled her hips on him. "Fuck, I think I'm still coming. I ain't ever felt pussy like that." Even though his words were crude, Carol couldn't help but feel turned on at how she affected him. They kissed lazily until he softened enough to slip out of her.

She lifted herself off of him and dressed. She waited to say anything until he had put his clothes back on and was strapping back on his attachment. "Thank you, Merle." She wanted to kick herself for how shy she sounded. They were both consenting adults scratching a much needed itch. "I know it sounds trite, but no matter what happens, this meant a lot to me. My head was screwed up and you helped me by…"

"Screwing you?" He interrupted. "Don't think I was doing you a favor. We both wanted this. No need to thank me. Ain't like I'm the kind of man to dole my dick out to charity cases." She arched her eyebrow and he laughed. "Yeah, maybe a lifetime ago. Shit's different now. You're different."

She felt warm at his words. "Merle Dixon, you sure know how to make a girl feel good. If we make it through this, I may have to take you for a celebratory ride." She grinned at her own cheekiness.

He leaned in and kissed her softly. "Now there's an incentive to live if there ever was. I'll have my saddle ready, sugar."

She left first, with Merle promising to wait a while as to not raise suspicion. She went to the shower block and cleaned up a bit before heading to her cell. When she fell into slumber, she thought of the promises of next time.