Mass Effect: Each Story Has A Million Tales.

Summary: "There is always more than just one side to a story- and more than one lesson to learn. Follow Garrus Vakarian as he stands by a promise that he means to keep, contemplates the true meaning of life, death, and the ultimate sacrifice, and as he confronts someone who should have been behind him all along. Follow Adelais Vakarian as he mends a broken bond, and as he comes to terms with a terrible loss of his own. Follow Kolyat Krios as he navigates through a very dangerous place, only to find another- under the guidance of someone who may or may not be there at all. And follow Commander Joleen Shepard as she goes through her past and present, only to find herself in the middle of a battle for her future." (Garrus' Story: 'The Promise-Keeper.' Adelais' Story: 'The Old Soldier.' Kolyat's Story: 'The Wanderer.' Shepard's Story: 'The Missing.')

Warning: "This is a heavy one- some swearing, angst, implied adult situations, adult situations, a few character deaths, violence, and blood. All the big ones this time. Remember, this is my Shepard, my feelings on the game and what should have happened and will happen, with my own opinions and storyline, so no nasty comments. Got it? Good." (Commander Joleen Shepard: War Hero, Earthborn. Soldier. Paragon. Romanced Kaidan Alenko in the 1st game, Garrus Vakarian in the 2nd and 3rd. Shot and killed Udina during the Citadel Coup.)

Disclaimer: "I do not own Mass Effect. At all. So don't make me say it again."

Author's Note: "Just so you all know, the name 'Adelais,' is Latin for 'Noble,' and the name 'Carissa' means 'the most beloved one.' Personally, I just thought the two names fit the story and what the characters were meant for."

N._.S._.S

Chapter Fifty-One: The Missing X.

The thing about fear is that when it fully controls you, it burns.

It burns like an all-consuming flame.

And the only way to douse this almighty flame is to face it head on.

It is what gives you the courage to stand up and fight.

Kolyat stands in the Council Chambers, right-hand extended, palm facing out, and pulsating azure Biotic power. His eyes, matching his father's determined ones on the day he faced the assassin Kai Leng, aren't the slightest bit afraid. He moves as his father did that day, proudly and swiftly, confronting the tall shadowed figure head on, catching the blade his opponent attempts to counter his blow with, snapping it cleanly in half with a single Biotic Thrust and throwing them clear across the room, all as the Council fight enemies of their own, their weapons drawn and eyes matching their hero's.

The strength to continue through to the end.

Adelais Vakarian sits at the edge of the balcony, talons clenched over a creased, old photograph. He is tired- tired of the countless arguments, unending anger, and tired of not being able to truly see the one he misses most. As he stares up into the sky, though, his mandibles twitch into a Turian's smile, and he closes his eyes, all as a ghostlike figure looks on, arms crossed, and a fulfilled look in her familiar, ice-blue eyes. After a few moments, she silently knelt beside him and wrapped her arms around him, and the old soldier's eyes open, knowing and strong again.

And the strength to hope.

She has her face hidden behind her knees, and her arms are wrapped tightly around her legs to keep her shoulders from continuing to tremble- she's crying, scared to death at what she's seen and what she thinks is set in stone- a future, she believes that can only end in her own failure. But, unbeknownst to the great Commander Shepard, Garrus is standing beside her, as he always has, taloned hand on her shoulder, eyes alight with concern.

N._.S._.S

She couldn't ignore him, no matter how hard she tried.

Garrus was just someone who couldn't be ignored.

She'd hidden her face in order to hide the fact that she'd been crying from him- God; she hated it when anyone saw her crying, especially Garrus, and especially at a time like this.

Back on the streets of New York, if one of the Red Jacks (the group Ranger and Shep had founded years and years ago in the Shelter, dedicated to getting rid of the slavers) ever saw one of their own crying like this, they'd instantly call them out on it and really give them something to cry about.

In the Alliance, they usually ignored it and went on their merry way.

Hell, even Ranger laughed at her when she cried.

Crying was a universal (sort of) sign of weakness, and if the Red Jacks and the Alliance shared even one thing in common, it's the fact that both hated any sign of weakness.

It just wasn't done.

"I'm sorry."

It was all she could think to say.

What else could she say after what she did?

Garrus just stared down at her, closed his ice-blue eyes closing for a split second, as if seriously considering what he should do, before opening them as he joined her on the ground.

"So am I."

"You weren't doing anything wrong."

Garrus' eyes flashed to hers in genuine worry now, but Shepard easily ignored it.

"There was another nightmare." She admitted, not glancing at him, and interrupting him when he immediately put a taloned hand on her shoulder and started to say something. "A bad one."

Garrus' grasp only tightened as she explained.

"It was bad, Garrus," Shepard repeated, tonelessly, "Ranger was telling me it was all my fault though the entire thing... Cerberus got to the Primarch, to the Council, to Kolyat... everyone on the Normandy was slaughtered, the fleets on both sides of the Relay were destroyed... the Reaper got you in the Control Room."

"And you?" Garrus asked, quietly.

"I don't know."

"It won't end like that," he said after a long silence, "You know it won't."

"I don't know what to think anymore, Garrus," she shot back, though not angrily. "Even Ranger said it- everyone I swore on his grave to protect, everyone who trusted me, everyone who sacrificed everything- it all was a Goddamn waste," she said, voice raising. "All of it. Thane, Mordin, Legion, Anderson... every single man, woman, child, every single drop of blood shed by that War... a waste." She spat the last word like a curse.

Garrus just shook his head. "He lied, Joleen."

"Why the hell would Ranger, of all people, lie to me like that?" She retorted, dully.

"Then it wasn't Ranger who said those things."

She considered that for a long moment, and then sighed. "I don't know."

"I don't know." Her eyes burned as she repeated it.

Slowly, hesitantly, he put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close.

She could feel his strong heartbeat even through his armor.

"He lied," he repeated, "Or that wasn't the Ranger you knew."

"But... I watched it. All of it... it was... so goddamn real."

"It wasn't. All of them are still here... and you know what?" Garrus added, his mandibles clicking to give her a half Turian-smile.

"What?"

"So are you and me."

"And if we're not by the time this is over?" She asked, miserably. "What if he's right?"

"What if he's wrong?" Garrus answered, using a single talon to carefully brush away the tears.

Shepard just shook her head. "I don't know."

"Shepard, listen to me," Garrus finally said, after another long moment of silence. "Thane, Mordin, Legion, and Anderson were proud to lay down their lives for the Galaxy, even for the slight chance that we would succeed. You were willing to lay down your life from the very beginning. None of that," he said, bringing their foreheads together, "Will ever not mean a thing. It all counted for something."

"Thane stopped Kai Leng from killing the Council. He knew exactly what he was doing the moment he left Huerta, and knew exactly what he was up against- and that didn't stop him. Mordin cured the Genophage- saving Palaven and probably trillions of lives; and ensuring the survival of the entire Krogan race," he said, listing each one of them. "Legion almost single-handedly stopped a war that would have destroyed the Quarians and the Geth; brokering peace between them. Anderson..." Garrus paused for a few moments for his words to take effect, "Anderson was proud to do what he did, you know that better than anyone."

"All of their sacrifices- and all of those made by the countless people we don't even know about yet," he continued, gently, "will be remembered and honored for as long as this Galaxy stands- which," he added, "is almost all thanks to you. You were the one who warned the Council. You were the one who went after Saren, Sovereign, the Geth, the Collectors, Cerberus, and every single other damn thing in the Galaxy that needed its ass kicked- and-" he added, his voice lowering as low as it could, "I was there for every single moment of it."

By this time, Shepard was crying. She'd finally unfolded herself as Garrus spoke, dark brown eyes widening in shock as he spoke. Her glasses had been pushed cutely to the bridge of her nose as she listened, and as he ended his little speech, Garrus pushed them back up with the tip of his talon.

"No one could have done what you did, Shepard," Garrus ended, easily, "Not Ranger, not the Council, not me, and not anyone else. You even came back from the dead to get it done. And now you're back to do it again."

Oh, God...

Shepard was sobbing again as Garrus gently folded her into his arms. "Whatever told you we're not going to make this is either stupid or what we're fighting against," he assured her, talons running through her messy dark brown hair.

"I'm sorry," she finally managed to sob, "I'm so sorry..."

Garrus just held her tighter.

N._.S._.S

Man, WTF is with the Internet?

AND my computer?

If it's not ONE of those it's the OTHER, for God's sake.

First I lose Internet for the entire day,

Then I have to babysit for FOUR hours instead of the promised two,

Then my Internet/ Computer STILL screw up for the past three hours?

Really?

Gimme a break already...

All right, I need a Diet Coke and a hug...

Maybe a REALLY nice review for these two chapters, too...

N._.S._.S