XVI

It was very early.

The room was dark, but for the pale first light that preceded sunrise. Rose had not even risen to start the fires and knead the bread.

But Lissie couldn't sleep.

There were no pangs of hunger to try to ignore; no shivering, shuddering, inching closer and closer to a dying candle in the hopes that it might give a little warmth. The house offered no suspicious squeaks, like those belonging to the rats she used to curl her feet away from to protect them from being bit.

A full belly; warm, clean nightclothes; and her brave, strong Ben beside her meant that she should be sound asleep, but Lissie was discovering that being safe and comfortable left her distracted. It gave her opportunity to think, and thinking did the opposite of making her sleepy.

She was a selfish creature. Ben slept close; his arm was trapped beneath the weight of her shoulders, but she wanted him closer still. She wanted him with her. She thought he must be very tired when she slipped her hand under his nightshirt and rubbed gentle strokes into his skin, and still he slept on.

She muffled her laugh into his shoulder when he betrayed himself by squeezing her hand and bringing it to his lips.

"Did I wake you, husband?"

He merely gave a, "Hmm," of contentment, so she returned to her ministrations.

"I wonder what my wife finds so fascinating about my belly," he remarked at last.

"That is it yours," she said. "And that it is here for me to touch."

"Ben..." she went on, when he only smiled, close-eyed. "You know I am quite well."

"Indeed, you are, thank heaven."

"And to some minds, we are not yet married."

This caused him a level of concern, and he opened his eyes. "What should we care what others think, my Lissie? You are not worried that Jiggy Nye will come for you?"

"No. But I do feel... I do wish to be a proper wife to you." She spoke earnestly; chin now resting atop her hands, which rested on Ben. "And as I said, I am quite well."

"Are you saying I am not yet a proper husband to you?" he teased.

"I am saying I am not used to all these wraps, and this nightcap," she pointed to the offending article, sitting up some, "and so many coverings all at once, and you may be more at ease without your covers, too."

Ben situated her in a few deft movements so she was comfortably beneath him, and captured her face between his hands. "How can such perfection exist on earth?"

"Don't tease so!" she laughed, "I was serious!"

"So am I."

The sincerity of his statement made her blush, and he took his chance to lavish kisses on her pinked cheeks and nose. "Are you quite certain, Lissie?"

She dropped her nightcap to the floor with a saucy toss of her head. "I want to be Lissie Davidson in a way that no one can question."

Ben traced the frame of her face thoughtfully when she'd settled back in. "You know that some will still question. Until you are with child."

"Not for them. For us." She linked her fingers together around his neck, "And for our child, who we will love so very dearly. Won't we, Ben?"

"Without question," he smiled. "Our young Davidson will be the most loved child in all the colonies."

And under that promise, he took her to bed, and made them properly married.

-x-

Within the first few months of their marriage, it was easy for Lissie to understand just how much of a sacrifice Ben had been making to visit her as often as he had. There was much to do for Mr. Merriman's store, and though she insisted that he not let her become a distraction to his work, it was difficult for Ben to heed her.

It was too great a temptation to have Lissie so near the shop, too easy for him to find reasons for returning to the house and bestowing a sign or two of affection on his pretty wife. Though she would never complain, Lissie felt it was time she ventured out into the streets that once so terrified her.

She broached the subject one crisp morning as she watched Ben dress for work. She was not dressed; she did not have a need to dress most mornings, as she barely left Ben's room, and her nightdress was of more comfort than anything she'd worn in her life before marriage. Her long braid was slung over her shoulder and she shook her head to make the ribbon bounce against her knees that she hugged to her chest.

"I should like to go out today."

Ben was not so keen on the idea. He pulled up his stockings before offering reply. "What if you get lost and cannot find your way back? What if people are unkind to you?"

"I wish to do all the things that a wife does." She coaxed him into a smile with her touch on his shoulder, "I have the map you made in my basket, so I won't have any trouble coming home. Besides," she wavered, "I have been through so much... I can bear a little unkindness."

"You should not have to." He stuffed his feet into his boots with a little more force than was necessary. "There should only be love and joy for you wherever you go. I cannot bear to think that you might suffer more than what's already passed."

"Ben," she soothed, "I know that you will keep me safe to the best of your ability, but you cannot protect me from everything." She straightened her back and hit her bare toes under the hem of her shift. "I shall try very hard to be respectable, so that I do not shame you."

His responding sigh was followed by a sad smile, "Silly Lissie. You could never shame me. If you wish to go out, then you shall."

Lissie was quite determined, and she enjoyed herself immensely.

Though there was the odd remark and unkind glance to suffer, most folk were simply curious as to who the girl was that snatched up the most eligible young bachelor in Williamsburg. She was quite overwhelmed by the outpouring of questions received at each stall or shop she chose to browse. She kept her answers courteous, but short. The general opinion regarding her father was no secret, and Lissie did not want to make her connection to him known about town.

Lissie grew quite the expert with her map as a guide, and soon became—if not comfortable—far less terrified to be out and about while Ben was at his business.

There was one place she passed nearly every day, whether she meant to or not. The Public Gaol was a brick establishment; finer than many houses from the exterior facade. Lissie could not help but wonder how it was within. She mustered the courage to ask the gaol keeper's wife what conditions were like.

"It's a prison, my dear, what do you think it's like? Cold, damp, lonesome. But never you mind all that. It's nothing to concern a young, pretty thing such as yourself."

"Do you know... is the man called Jiggy Nye there?"

"Jiggy Nye? Aye, he's within. Brought for attacking a man in the street, and kept after they found all his debt. He's very low, I daresay. Well, they're all low to be under the punishment of the law, but he especially. Cries and cries like a baby some nights about his girl. Must be an old sweetheart that died. My Peter says it's enough to wring a tear from his own eye at times." She patted Lissie's hand as if that were the end of it.

"And it's cold... and he must be hungry."

"Now, what did I tell you?" she huffed, "Don't worry about that wicked scoundrel! Go home and have a nice cup of tea!"

Lissie did go home, and what she had to say nearly surprised Ben out of his britches.

"I want to visit him. I want to see Jiggy Nye."