I crossed the threshold for the second time that day. Only this time I was welcome.

Alice ran grabbed my arm and started pulling me towards the lounge room, where the rest of the family was headed. Except for Edward.

He was still standing at the base of the stairs watching his sister drag me along and he didn't look happy about it either.

"If she's staying, I'm leaving," He said staring at me.

"Oh come on Edward, she's only staying for the night," replied Emmett from the lounge.

"How can you let her in this house, treat her like a friend? We know nothing about her!" Edward almost yelled.

"Edward its fine, I can read her future and Jasper can calm her down if she gets a bit out of control," Alice placated.

Edward just looked at me scathingly then walked towards the door. Human speed. As if he was giving them a chance to change their minds. I think they almost did, and that made me angry.

I could see exactly how this house was run. It was run by Edward and if everything wasn't just so according to him, goodbye family. It was wrong, so very wrong.

"Go on, Edward, leave. Stop trying to control your family, just leave like you left Bella!" I growled trying to hold back my rage, which turned out to be pointless because the moment I said the word Bella he pinned me to the wall.

My fighting instincts kicked in and I used my feet to launch us off the wall and onto the floor. We wrestled for a good 10 minutes without either of us getting the upper hand before we were pulled apart by Carlisle and Emmett.

Jasper was in the corner cradling his head. Too much rage.

I immediately felt sorry for him. The reduction of rage seemed to help his recovery a little.

I looked back to Edward, he was still struggling against Emmett's iron grip, periodically lunging towards me.

Confident that I was safe from Edward, I closed my eyes and breathed slowly. I let Carlisles strong grip around my chest help with the process of calming down while I tried to find my emotional blank spot. After a few minutes I found it, then became aware that Carlisle had let me go. For the first time since Biology today I felt like me again. Cool, calm and collected.

I took a deep unnecessary breath in and out then opened my eyes.

The only thing I saw was Jasper's face.

"How did you do that?" He asked grabbing my shoulders and shaking them as if he could shake the answer out of me.

I put my hands on his hand, watching his face all the while (what else was I going to look at anyway?) for any hints that he didn't like what I was doing and slowly removed them.

"Do what?" I queried.

"Disappear off my emotional radar!"

"Oh, that," I shrugged, "Just something my maker taught me to do."

*Flashback*

My maker was a fighter. HE taught me everything I know about fighting. We would train everyday.

"Stop fighting with your emotions! I'm trying to kill you remember!" My maker said then suddenly became sad, "I did kill you"

I could tell it was eating him up but I left it alone.

"Look, I'm sorry, I don't know how not to!" I replied.

HE sighed. "You need to find your emotional centre, a black spot if you will, where you are emotionally neutral."

HE spent the rest of the day and most of the night teaching how to find that spot, and when I did I think HE might have even smiled.

That was the only time I saw him smile in the eight months we spent together. Towards the end of our time together HE began getting increasingly depressed, angry and scared. I could see that HE regretted what HE did but that HE was too gentlemanly to walk away from a newborn. Leave me unprotected and uncontrolled.

Everyday HE got more lonely, it was obvious that HE missed his mate. HE was on the phone to her quite a bit, but HE never told her about me, never told her where we were. Never told her anything in regards to our situation. HE felt guilty. I began to feel bad for keeping him here, but it was clear that even if we split up, I would haunt him for the rest of his immortal life.

I started thinking of ways to end his suffering. Not kill him, no I could never do that to him, but wipe his memory of the time we spent together. But what would give a vampire a big enough blow to the head to wipe his memory, months of it too?

I didn't even know if it was possible. I spent the next couple of months researching but to no avail.

So one evening after HE had spent all day sitting at the base of this cliff near our camp, I dropped a one tonne boulder on him as HE sat there watching the sun set.

I changed into the clothes I had bought especially for this occasion so his scent wasn't on them, covered my face with the scarf I bought and raced down the cliff.

I pushed the boulder off him as easily as I had thrown it. You know how in the cartoons when a character gets run over they go flat like a cardboard cutout? Well HE looked just like that. I waited for him to rejuvenate, it took an hour.

"What happened?" HE asked when he came around.

"Well, some vampire tried to kill you. Not a very smart vampire if you ask me." I answered in a British accent. "So how long have you been in these parts?"

"I don't know..."

I smiled, "Were you here with someone?"

HE thought about it for awhile before shaking his head.

I could have done a happy dance then and there. MY plan had worked, I couldn't have been more thrilled.

"Have you got a mate?"

"Yes," HE smiled obviously thinking of her.

"Perhaps you should go find her."

HE agreed then thanked me before HE took off at a run heading north.

"And thank you for everything" I whispered before going south.

*End Flashback*

I blinked a few times before focusing on Jaspers face again.

He looked confused. I must have let a few emotions go while I was lost im my memories.

"Who was your maker?" Jasper asked, his eyes so innocent and pleading that I almost told him.

"No-one important, besides, he is just a pile of ash now" I answered with an air of carelessness.

Jasper stared at me for a few more moments before walking away.

Everyone else was staring at me as if I had just performed magic.

I started to feel a little self-conscious.

"Ok, thats it, I'm leaving. Call me when she has left," Edward said drawing the attention away from me.

"I don't want her here with us," He said before taking off.

Those words were so similar to the words he said to Bella, that seeing him disappear ripped open the hole in my chest that had taken me decades to heal. It still wouldn't be healed if it weren't for Jacob.

There was a moment of nothingness, an emotional delay, caused by the shock of the suddenness of having my heart ripped out again before the pain crashed through my body without remorse.

I hugged myself and dropped to the floor screaming. I think I heard Jasper collapse groaning at the sudden onset of my emotional turmoil. I felt his calming waves but the amount of pain I was in it was as effective as a bandaid on severed limb.

I started rocking back and forth hoping it was abate the crushing, ripping, grinding, stabbing, pounding, tearing pain that was coursing through my chest.

It didn't help a bit.

A hand touch my shoulder, I looked up into the eyes of Esme and remembered who I was with.

"Are you ok?" She asked.

"Yeah," I replied then did my best to ignore the pain and stand up. "I'm really sorry but I've got to go."

I didn't wait for a reply, I just ran out the door. I passed Edward on the driveway, he was heading back towards the house, someone must have called him back. He didn't stop me and for that I was grateful.

I had to get to La Push. To Jacob. My sun.

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