101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks
In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks is going to discover a mysterious tape…little does the Gungan know is that it's going to be his undoing…
Chapter 18: Cursed Tapes
Our heroes were on a vacation at a hotel…as it turns out their hotel number was 666. Creepy and suspicious, no? Well anyways, once again Jar Jar Binks wanted to come along with them, so they reluctantly allowed him to go on with them while they spent a few nights at the hotel.
Just when they spent the last day there, Jar Jar Binks found a strange tape hidden underneath the mattress. He decided to watch it while the others were checking out of the hotel, curious to see what its contents were.
It was actually quite an unusual video tape, and quite the random one too. Jar Jar Binks had no idea why somebody would want to make a short video like this, but he thought it was somewhat entertaining, so he kept watching.
"Mesa wishes mesa brought popcorn." thought Jar Jar Binks.
Eventually, the video ended, and Jar Jar Binks thought about the weird tape that he had just watched. How that tape had gotten there, he had no idea.
Suddenly, the phone rang, and Jar Jar Binks went to answer it.
"Hello?" he asked.
"Seven days…" a strange voice answered him.
"Seven days? What do yousa mean by da?" he asked. But there was no answer, so he simply put down the phone.
As he left the hotel to join others, he could have sworn that he had heard crying coming from the bathroom. But Jar Jar Binks paid no attention to that.
Seven days later…
By the time the next week had arrived, Jar Jar Binks thought that there had been some crazy stuff going on lately. Animals kept attacking him (much to his delight of his "friends", who wanted to see Jar Jar Binks suffer), he kept hearing crying when nobody was around, and strangest of all, he discovered that he had not received a caller ID when he had been called by that mysterious person.
Jar Jar Binks decided to ignore this and simply watch TV due to boredom…when he noticed something was wrong. The TV turned on by itself, and there was nothing on except for a realistic-looking well, and Jar Jar Binks was unable to change the channel by using his remote.
"Dumb-dumb piece of junk!" screamed Jar Jar Binks in frustration. What was going on?
Suddenly, a girl came out of the wall and started walking towards him. Jar Jar Binks was initially confused by this, until suddenly she walked straight out of the TV!
"Oh mesa god!" shrieked Jar Jar Binks.
The strange girl then proceeded to show Jar Jar Binks her hideous face, giving him a fatal heart attack. She then disappeared, waiting for another victim to watch her video tape of doom.
Not long afterwards, Anakin, Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Padme Amidala discovered Jar Jar Binks' dead body.
"Alright, now what happened this time?" wondered Anakin. Crazy stuff like this had been happening to Jar Jar Binks for quite some time now, and he was starting to get tired of it.
"I don't know! As far as I know all that he was doing was watching TV…what could have happened to him?" asked Padme Amidala, just as confused as he was.
"Well, I suppose we shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. At least he's died once again, am I right?" Qui-Gon Jinn suggested.
"Yes, I suppose. I still can't help but wonder what could have happened to him, though."
Our heroes resurrected Jar Jar Binks using the Book of Resurrection so they could kill him another day, unaware of what was responsible for his death.
Yes, once again I have made a reference to a horror movie…can you guess which one? I'm sure a lot of you guessed which horror movie I referenced earlier…
Seeing though I've received so many suggestions at this point, I may want to use at least one of them in the future…but I'll have to decide which one…hmm…
In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this chapter.