Warnings: In keeping with other chapters I need to alert Abby fans that they might not like the content in this chapter and suggest if you are easily offended that you should skip reading this. Although if you are an Abby fan like me (the early Abby of the sass, strength and humour not the whiny, needy Gibbs' clinging limpet that the writers have morphed her into) then you might appreciate the smack down. I found it cathartic :) I really miss the scenes between Ducky and Abby during the first few seasons when the team was away working cases. The Chanel # 5 conversation in Minimum Security was priceless!
Gratuities: As usual I have to thank Arress for wrangling my irritating commas into submission and being a sounding board for the story. You know the rules... any mistakes my bad.
A/N Thanks to everyone who left feedback, faved or alerted. I appreciate your support. Once again I have chosen to reply at the end of the chapter to a "Guest" who felt impelled to leave two rather OTT lot of comments so as not to inflict the "dialogue' upon readers who want to focus on the story.
This chapter is more serious in tone than earlier ones but hopefully will be satisfying in a different way. I know from your feedback that you enjoy confrontation scenes, especially when Tony stands up for himself but I have to say that when it comes down to writing them I find myself procrastinating. Each one that I write renders it more difficult for me to find fresh and interesting ways to present them in a story next time. I now how much greater empathy for the directors who universally bemoan on audio commentaries about how difficult it is to film exposition scenes (the so called meat and potatoes scenes like Autopsy, the Lab and the Bullpen) so that they feel fresh for the actors and viewers. If they and I succeed you'll probably never notice it but if it's tired and trite it's readily apparent to everyone. Why am I sharing this fascinating snippet of information with you all? Because I need to write multiple confrontation scenes in a couple of my stories... and I'm procrastinating :) So at the risk of sounding whiny and needy sharing the love if you like the following confrontation between two of my original fave characters might help with motivation :D
What a Difference a Year Makes:8760 Little Hours
Chapter 6
13 Months Post Rixon Wells Case: Ne'er the Twain Shall Meet…Um…Maybe?
Lieutenant Commander Faith Coleman was hard at work preparing for a court martial the day after tomorrow and she was working on her closing argument. Her mentor when she was just starting out at JAG confided that he always started out by writing his closing remarks before he did anything else and Faith had found that the habit had stuck with her, too. So much so that she often read the last chapter of a book before deciding if the rest of the novel was worthwhile reading which was sometimes confusing, but she couldn't seem to break herself of the habit. Focusing her thoughts back on reading through what she had written in rough draft, the lawyer decided it wasn't bad, but it could do with work. Perhaps a strong cup of java would improve her creativity, so she was equal parts spooked and irritated to find an unauthorized civilian standing brazenly in front of her desk, holding out a cup of coffee.
Belatedly wondering how this guy got past security and wondering if he was a threat she decided to intimidate him. "You're in a restricted area and here without authorization. I could have you arrested and throw away the key."
She glared at the guy, who although ripped, was no muscle bound behemoth. He had a neck, well, actually quite a nice neck and his biceps didn't actually look broad enough to be thighs, just well-defined and strong, and he had long athletic legs rather than tree trunks. As a runner, she didn't go for the Mr. Universe type who was all pumped up gym bulk, which this guy wasn't. Dressed rather scruffily in designer-torn jeans, white t-shirt, leather vest and Ray-Bans, he looked like he was one of the film crew that was shooting this week around the Navy Yard, doing location work apparently. Personally, she found the presence of the film crew extremely irksome and she was peeved that SecNav had approved the shoot.
Rather than intimidating this joker, Faith noted exasperatedly that she hadn't managed to browbeat him at all, but simply succeeded in amusing him if the half smile with his perfect Hollywood teeth was anything to go by. "So when you invited me to stop by the next time I was in the neighbourhood and you'd buy me a coffee, you were what… lying? Surely not… oh, wait, I forgot…lawyer, my bad." The stranger smirked, his British accented voice annoyingly familiar even if she couldn't place it.
Staring at this lunatic, wondering if she needed to activate the panic button under her desk, she noticed that although her rational brain was screaming to raise the alarm, her body had remained unmoved, neither preparing for flight or fight. Staring at the man before her, she wondered if he was a former colleague, yet she couldn't remember anyone in that category who was British.
Seeming to read her mind, the intruder shook his head before pointing under the desk. "Won't do you any good you know. They won't come."
Again Faith considered those words to be highly threatening, yet somehow she didn't feel like she was in danger. Shaking his head in sorrow, he lamented, "And here I was, Faith, going to invite you out to lunch for old time's sake, but it's a case of out of sight out of mind, isn't it? After all the time we spent together. I'm crushed… you don't remember me do you?" he teased her playfully and Faith felt aggravated. Yet, although he could be some sociopath with an axe to grind, her body was telling her he was no threat.
Finally deciding apparently to put her out of her misery, the blonde haired guy tugged at his Ray-Bans while he unleashed a heart-stopping grin as his blues eyes regarded her mischievously. "So, I guess that means your turning down a free lunch, then. Are you sure you're a lawyer, Faith?" he asked her, swapping the British upper class accent for a familiar local one with a well-modulated upper class Long Island inflection.
Looking at the smiling visage that she'd recognize anywhere and trying to reconcile the blue eyes and the blond hair, super tight jeans and the snug t-shirt, she wasn't sure if she was imagining things. "Tony, is that you? Tony DiNozzo?"
"Oh, so you haven't forgotten me," he teased her.
She looked at him, questioningly. "So, what's with the new look anyway, DiNozzo? You undercover, or did you have a makeover or something?"
He laughed. "I guess you could say that, in a manner of speaking. It's for the part I'm playing." He saw her bemused expression. "Anthony Paddington ring a bell? No? Oh, how you wound me, Coleman. I've turned my undercover skills to acting. Surely you noticed the movie that's being shot at the Navy Yard, Ms. Observant?"
"Well, yeah, Tony, it's kinda hard to ignore them all crawling all over the place and disrupting everything. And who is Anthony Paddington?"
Tony laughed. "You're certainly good for keeping my feet on the ground, Lieutenant Commander. It's me, dummy… my stage name."
"Oh… sorry, Tony, but I'm not that into movies these days."
Tony looked at the JAG lawyer's eyes and noticed the dark circles under them, remembering how hard she'd been on herself after the loss of the Rixon Wells case. She was obviously driving herself so she didn't lose another case, and he also knew that she had had a tough time dealing with her best friend, Michelle Lee's, treachery and subsequent death.
"Anyway, Faith, I wanted to invite you to dinner on Saturday night. Going to be a reunion of sorts as Jimmy Palmer is coming and the rest of the NCIS Mafia, Rocky, Cassie, Doc and Nikki. I've got someone special that I want you to meet. So, you'll come, right?"
"Sure, Tony, it'll be good to catch up. You doing okay?" she asked, knowing how he lived for field work.
He grimaced. "Good days… bad days, Faith, and being back here is hard, but some good things have happened, too. Actually, Counselor, apart from issuing you with an invitation, I wanted to ask you for a favour. I want some good to come out of the Carly Weber fiasco and I want some peace for the Webers and for people like you and Doc and me. I'm starting to be paid obscene amounts of money, especially for my next film, and I want to use some of it to do some good. I'm setting up a charitable foundation in Carly's name for drug and alcohol support and education for young service personnel."
Faith smiled at him, "Aren't there plenty of those sorts of services already, Tony?"
"Yeah, but Faith, their stakeholders are civilian teenagers and twenty 'somethings' and their issues are just worlds apart from what kids like Carly Weber face. These military kids, some of them don't even go to college, are too young to vote or drink, but they've been in combat or able to go and fight and die to defend our country. If they're using drugs or alcohol to try to cope, they don't dare to reach out to anyone connected to the military for fear they'll be dishonourably discharged. Carly's foundation will be independent of the military, but specialize in issues that they face in serving their country. And I want Verity and James on the Board as the mouthpieces, and you and Susan to serve, too, as advisors. In fact, I wanted to ask you to set it all up so it's legal and, of course, I'll pay you for your time?"
"Tony, Verity and James aren't doing so good after the trial. James took early retirement from his job and Verity is on antidepressants. It's been a tough 18 months for them."
"Yeah, I know, Faith, I stay in touch with them, and that's why I want them at the forefront of the foundation. They need a purpose and they need some way to memorialize Carly's death. Plus, they need to feel like something good can come out of their loss, so her death wasn't completely meaningless. That's why I want them running the foundation. So what do you say, Faith, are you on board – no pun intended?"
~ What a Difference a Year Makes: 8760 Little Hours ~
Making his way back towards the movie set and his trailer, he was pleased to have Faith on board and not at all surprised that she had offered to do the legal work gratis. It wasn't that he couldn't afford to pay a lawyer to do the work, but he knew from his contacts at JAG that Faith Coleman had been on a concerted campaign of self-flagellation in the last year and a bit. Scuttlebutt was that she was reaching the point of burn out and was over-preparing for even the simplest of cases. She'd refused to eat lunch with him because she had a case to prepare for.
Tony thought that she needed something positive to focus on just as much as the Webers did, and he hoped that this foundation would help her to find some peace and purpose. Faith, in all the time he'd known the JAG attorney, had always been lean with the body of a long distance runner, but now she was looking positively skeletal and unhealthy, her eyes dull and skin sallow. Knowing that she wouldn't take time off to rest, Tony hoped that she might take some leave and work for the foundation. He was hoping in her case that the tried and true maxim that a change was as good as a holiday would hold true for Coleman. Mentally running through his checklist, he wasn't paying attention to where he was going and ran into someone, knocking their lunch out of their hands.
As he started to apologise, he glanced up and groaned. Staring at him wide eyed was a certain Goth forensic scientist except that she was sans the Gothic accoutrements and unlike Faith, she recognized him immediately.
"OMG, Tony? Is that really you? Please, can we talk… I'd really, really like to talk… it's been so long… not that I blame you or anything …it was totally my fault, but please… I just want to…"
Tony tuned her out as he tried to rally his composure. He'd heard about her 'act of contrition' in giving up her Goth accessories and her continuing tension with the MCRT team. Nikki and Balboa had filled him in and he'd decided that he would reach out to her while they were shooting on location, but he'd been procrastinating. Now it was time to take the bull by the horns, or more pertinently, take the Goth by the collar.
"Abby…stop! Okay, first off, I'm sorry about running into you. Let me get you some lunch and then we'll talk. I've been meaning to contact you so we could have tête-à-tête, but I guess you've saved me the effort. C'mon."
He strode off after checking to see that she was following him and they headed to the catering tent that was still serving a buffet for the crew. Tony snagged two plates and started to grab some food for them both before crooking his finger, indicating she should follow him back to his trailer, because he didn't want to have this conversation in public. He knew that this was inevitable. People had been dropping by all week to say hi, offer congratulations, rubber neck or, in a few cases, to sneer at him for proving just how narcissistic he really was.
Although, perhaps the most bizarre blow-in of the week would have to have been Timothy McGee. It seemed that he had certainly taken to heart, Gibbs rule #6, since he offered no sign of regret or apology. Instead, McGee confided that he was soon going to be joining the movie industry and thought that Tony could introduce him to 'the right people' and give him some tips. Tony had pretty much given him the brush off, feeling like it was too surreal and just too much like Senior. It seemed McGee had thought that he'd just forget any past transgressions, although he guessed to be fair, he always had before. Then there was the fact that he was the one buying the film rights to Deep Six, in order to make sure that it never saw the light of day.
Entering the trailer and motioning Abby to take a seat, he dropped onto the sofa beside Ceinwen and dropped a kiss on her cheek. "Ceinwen, this is Abby Scuito, Abby this is my publicist, Ceinwen Davies."
Ceinwen smiled at Abby, but Tony knew that it was her plastic, professional one, and her gaze searched his to see how he was coping. "Did you see Faith, Tony?"
"Yeah, she's on board. Just need to recruit Susan."
She smiled at him, but it was the special one that she reserved for him and there was nothing professional or plastic about it. "That's great. I'm might go and grab some lunch, unless you need me to hang around?"
"No thanks Lovely; go and get some lunch. They've got bread and butter pudding," he teased, reaching out and squeezing her hand as she stood up.
"Oh, wow, gotta go. Bye, Abby, nice to meet you." And she raced out of the trailer.
Tony glanced at Abby. "It's one of her favourites. Memories of her childhood in England I guess. Ceinwen is half English," he explained with a shrug.
"Like you! I guess you must have a lot in common?" Abby asked tentatively.
More than you could imagine, "Yeah, you could say that." He said, noncommittally.
Finally after an awkward silence where Abby chewed alternatively on her bottom lip and her left cheek she finally spoke. "Why did you want to talk, Tony?"
He sighed, wondering how to say what he needed to and still move towards offering some ground for her contrition. Deciding that being up front with her was probably best he could offer, he shrugged.
"Abby, I'm not sure exactly. I guess because even though I'm still mad at you, I wanted to acknowledge that you did have the guts to apologise and that you have continued to show 'contrition' and that does count for something. So… um… thank you."
Tony saw the disappointment in her eyes.
"You're never going to be able to forgive me, are you?"
He shrugged because he wouldn't make promises he couldn't keep. "In all honesty, I don't know whether I can, Abby."
"But, Tony, we were best friends…more than that, we were family. I know I did something terrible, something unforgivable, but I know you. You always forgive your family even when we don't deserve it. And I'm so sorry I hurt you, but everyone deserves a second chance, don't they?" She begged, staring at him with big wet eyes.
He considered what she'd said, wondering how she could be so smart and yet so dumb at the same time. "What you say is probably all pretty true, Abby, but the bottom line is that I've already given you plenty of second chances and you never seemed to realize it. Maybe if I hadn't been so quick to absolve you and held you accountable, we might not be having this conversation."
"How can you say that, Tony, it's so not true! I've always had your back."
"Z'at so, Abby? You had my back when you superimposed my face onto a leather clad photo of a clearly gay couple that could have easily gotten me fired. Or when I was trying to keep the team from being split up, you had my back even as you were telling me I wasn't Gibbs when I tried to maintain continuity like when he was here? You even slapped a damned trainee sticker on me to let me know that I wasn't really up to the job, even though I had the training and experience and earned the damned promotion through blood, sweat and tears. How would you have liked it if someone had done that to you when you took over the lab, Abby?" He looked at her downcast expression, but didn't back down.
"Every promotion means you are replacing someone, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Not as if it was the first time, hey, Abs. Although Cate and McGee were treated like siblings – well, maybe not McGee since ya shared a coffin with him and that would be… well incestuous. But you treated me like shit when I started at NCIS because I replaced your precious Stan Burley, and hey he was just perfect, as you all enjoyed telling me repeatedly. But I digress because we were talking about me replacing Gibbs, even though I didn't want the damn job. And then when I tried to do things differently coz I could never measure up to the great Jethro Gibbs, as you'd all been at great pains to convince me of, then you all complained bitterly that Gibbs wouldn't do it that way. I couldn't win no matter what I did. The team was insubordinate and accusing me of being arrogant, but I had to carry the can if things went wrong as I was in charge. I wasn't the one that refused to follow orders or at the very least questioned them constantly. I could have written you all up for the way you behaved, but I didn't. I kept on giving you all chances and you all kept on abusing me and the position."
Abby gulped audibly before looking into the stony blue eyes of the former senior field agent and stuttered, "I'm s…sorry, Tony. I never looked at it f… from your perspective."
Instead of mollifying him, the interjection just seemed to make him angrier. "What about when the almighty Gibbs came back and took back the team without a word of warning or thanks, threw all my stuff in a box and dumped it on McGee's desk as his delightful method of announcing that the team he'd told me was mine, wasn't anymore? How would you feel, Abs, after making the lab your own and making your babies jump through hoops and do their magic for you if the forensic scientist that had your job before you came back? What if they threw you out of the lab or made you their assistant and didn't even bother to tell you, just cleaned out your office so when you turned up with your subordinates, you looked like the biggest loser on the planet? And in his haste to make sure I knew I wasn't top dog, Gibbs treated me like a piece of excrement on his shoes. Where were you then, 'cause you sure didn't have my back? You all let him, Hell, you all joined in, too, and had a great old time. By the time you were done, I was convinced I was such a crappy leader that I turned down my own team in Rota, because why would strangers follow my lead if my friends, my family couldn't?"
Abby looked shocked at Tony's revelations and opened her mouth to say something before deciding at the last minute that silence might be the wisest course of action, since she could sense he wasn't done yet.
"When you found out I'd spent a year under cover, been ordered to lie to you all, fallen in love with Jeanne because she had my back and saw the real me unlike my team mates and when it came crashing down, instead of being there for me, you all punished me for doing my job and following orders. No wonder that I made the biggest mistake of my life and fell head over heels for the daughter of a drug dealer. She made me feel like I wasn't a total failure; she enjoyed spending time with me, made me feel like I actually mattered. I used to help her study for her medical exams and she never told me I was too dumb to understand. She made me feel like I mattered."
Tony closed his eyes, trying to push aside the regrets and pain that he always felt when he thought of Jeanne. Even though she had tried to set him up for murdering her father, he still felt like he was partly responsible. If he'd tried to protect him he might not have ended up as a floater, but he'd been so incensed to discover that his undercover mission was Shepard's personal Moby Dick that he'd washed his hands of the whole sordid mess. He'd let Jeanne down!
Focusing on Abby again, he returned to the point. "But you at least stayed in touch with me when I was banished as agent afloat and you apologised for the Rixon Wells fiasco, so I'm willing to try to get past it all. I just can't promise that I can forgive or forget ,and if I do manage to, when. All I can promise is that I will try!" He looked at the forensic scientist seeing her lip tremble and her eyes water and once upon a time he would have caved in and rushed to make her feel better, subjugating his own needs as irrelevant. But it was more than a year away from the toxic environment of his former team and he strengthened his resolve. He couldn't say it was easy, but he hardened his heart and told himself if he'd refused be a doormat right from the get go, maybe they wouldn't have treated him like a piece of crap.
After an awkward silence that stretched for five agonizing minutes as she considered everything he had said, Abby finally nodded. "I know I don't deserve it, but I would like us to be friends again someday, Tony. You're right of course, I wasn't a good friend and I didn't have your back. If I had, I would have been able to put myself in your shoes and I would have done things a lot different." She sighed realizing it was going to take a lot more than an apology to fix everything between them. Changing the subject she asked, "Have you talked to anyone else on the team, Tony?"
Tony smirked. "Oh yeah, Thom E. Gemcity rocked up wanting me to introduce him to some Hollywood moguls. I think he overestimates my importance on the totem pole and underestimates my animosity for his behaviour. I sent him away with a flea in his ear and he was highly aggrieved, especially after I got pissed off with his sudden abject if belated, and totally insincere, apology. Like I said, Abby, you bought yourself some credit in being genuine and you've expressed regret publicly. That counts for something. Doesn't absolve you, but still…"
He smiled sadly before continuing. "And last month Ceinwen and I went to dinner with Ducky in London. Like my relationship with you, I'm trying to move past all the hurt and anger, but it isn't like flicking a switch. If anything it actually hurts even more with you and Ducky… and Gibbs," He finished sotte voce so that Abby almost thought she imagined the reference to Gibbs.
"You sound pretty close to Ceinwen?" she asked tentatively.
He smiled broadly. "Yeah, she's my best friend," he admitted, although he wasn't going to admit they were seeing each other.
"Oh… I'm glad." She managed, somewhat pathetically, no doubt thinking that that description would have once been hers to claim before she threw it all away. "Are you planning on talking to Gibbs? He really misses you, even if he'll never admit it."
Tony shook his head, "No, I'm not." He didn't bother telling her that he'd noticed both Gibbs and Vance had been shadowing him at various times during the last couple of days of the location shoot. He was contemplating turning the tables on them both, but he wasn't sure if he should bother.
Seeing that Abby was going to try and persuade him to reconcile with Gibbs, he decided to be honest with her. "Abby, before you go off half- cocked with your Papa Bear and we're all one big happy family analogy, just stop. I don't want to hear it!"
"But it's the truth, even if I am… well, both of us are angry with him right now."
Tony shook his head. "I realise that you grew up trying to straddle two very different worlds; the consequence being that you ended up feeling like you never truly fit into the deaf or hearing communities. I get that you and Luka were forced to communicate for your parents in the hearing world, I do, and I get that was hard for a couple of kids. So, feeling like you belong somewhere, where you have family, is important to you and you've tried to create a perfect family where you feel like you truly fit in. The trouble with that is there's no such thing as the perfect family, but you've created this little fantasy world where we were all your perfect family. Where I was your brother and Gibbs was your father and Ducky was your pappy and Ziva and Cate were your sisters and Tim was your… um, not sure since if he was your brother or your cousin, well, that would be like in-breeding. So maybe McGee was your kissing cousin, but anyway, I get it. Well, okay not McGee, but I get the desire to have a picture perfect family, I really do."
He gazed into the middle distance as he considered the painful subject of family before continuing. "I know what it feels like not to fit in anywhere… but at least you knew that you were loved and wanted even if it wasn't all rainbows and lollypops, Abs. But your desperate need for us to be one big happy family is a delusion. And although I admit that more than anyone I've wished you were my family many times in the past, it is just a childish fantasy."
Abby opened her mouth to protest at the blasphemy that her former best friend was sprouting, but Tony forestalled her.
"C'mon Abby, you're almost the same age as me, even if it isn't gallant of me to point it out, so you're not a little girl anymore, even if you dress like one. Your Pollyanna persona has worn really thin with me, I'm afraid. Even Pollyanna realized when she grew up and became an adult that it wasn't okay to harass people. Interfering with her friends and telling them all how lucky they were and be glad for what they had might be cute, even effective when she was a little girl, but when she grew up it was interfering, sanctimonious preaching, and she toned it down or kept her opinions to herself."
~ What a Difference a Day Makes: 8760 Little Hours ~
"You really told Abby she was sanctimonious, interfering and preachy, Tony?" Ceinwen looked at him astonished.
"No, I said that her behaviour was, Lovely. Big diff, doofus!" Tony said half-seriously. He felt equal parts guilty and euphoric after he'd had a heart to heart and shared some home truths with the NCIS forensic scientist. Still, he wondered if he'd gone in too hard too fast. He pulled out his cell phone to call his old friend, Nikki Jardine, and ask her to go and make sure Abby was okay, since he didn't think that she and Gibbs were all that tight right now.
Ceinwen knew that he was probably second guessing his forthrightness and she decided to distract him by leaping on him and tickling him unmercifully. He was especially sensitive on his tummy she'd discovered and they ended up wrestling around playfully before they laughed themselves silly.
Finally, lying breathless on the sofa together in Tony's hotel room, Tony looked at his partner and poked her with his index finger. "What the Hell was that for, anyway?" He pouted playfully.
She smiled sweetly at him. "You called me a doofus!"
"Tony," Ceinwen said as they were drifting off to sleep. "How did you come to be such an expert on Pollyana?" She asked tentatively, knowing that he was intensely private about his childhood. Looking across at him, she saw him smile but it was such a sad one that she wished she hadn't asked.
"It's okay, forget I said anything."
"I don't remember very many occasions when my mum (yeah she hated being called mom) was actually sober." He responded as though she hadn't spoken. "Even when we went to the movies just the two of us, which was my happiest memories of us together, she was never completely sober. I was eight when she died and I thought it was my fault… aw, Hell, on some level I still feel like it was… if I had hidden the pills better or managed to get rid of the booze she might still be alive. After she died, I used to creep into her room and go through her stuff to try and get to know her… you know?"
He paused, staring off into space pensively and Ceinwen thought he was finished. She cursed his parents for the burden they had inflicted upon an innocent little boy.
Finally he spoke again. "My mum had kept all her childhood books and I thought if I read them, I would get to know what she was like as a kid. So I read all the Louisa May Alcott books, the Anne of Green Gables series, Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm, P.L Travers books, The Famous Five and the Pollyanna books. I found her journals and I read those, too, but I never found out why I wasn't enough for her to go and get help for her addictions. I guess I believed my father when he told me I was weak and useless and would never amount to anything. Irony much that he now thinks I'm a success?" he chuckled bitterly.
As she snuggled into him and held him tight, she marveled at how he'd managed to rear himself so well and still care so much about other people.
As Tony surrendered to her loving embrace, he marveled at how lucky he was to have found Ceinwen. She was perceptive enough to know when words just didn't cut it and a hug was what he needed, even if he didn't. Rather than making him feel claustrophobic, she made him feel safe and accepted… a wholly novel experience, but one he decided he could easily become addicted to. They were still to take the final step in their burgeoning relationship of being intimate, but they were extremely demonstrative with each other and Tony was enjoying the closeness that they had developed. He wasn't used to snuggling since he'd never had that sort of relationship as a child, but somehow with Ceinwen it felt so right.
Next up: Part 2 of Ne'er the Twain Shall Me
Endnotes:
To the "Guest" who demanded to know the episode where Gibbs declared that Tony was the best young agent he'd ever worked with, it was in S7 E 12 Flesh. And the claim that Ziva and McGee weren't doing anything wrong because Vance and Gibbs both knew what they were doing... this this is precisely why I am so scathing about the whole revenge story line in the show. If you think that just because Gibbs and Vance choose to look the other way to the illegal activities that Ziva and McGee engaged in in tracking Bodnar, in any way made their actions less wrong legally/morally/ethically because of their superiors failure to do their job, you are sadly mistaken. In the real world, McGee and Ziva would be held to account for what they did and Gibbs and Vance would be culpable too.
And as to the outlandish statement that Tony should have been jailed for killing Michael Rivkin. Really? Because Rivkin in acting on US soil as an agent of a foreign national Intelligence agency was doing so completely illegally. He'd been directed numerous times to leave the country after assassinating two suspects. When Tony attempted to arrest him on suspicion for the death of ICE Agent Sherman, Rivkin resisted arrest and did so with extreme violence and then when he was warned to stand down and threatened DiNozzo with a deadly weapon (not forgetting he was a highly trained assassin.) Rivkin chose suicide by cop like any other dirtbag that the MCRT shoot resisting arrest. It is completely immaterial that he was Ziva's friend and ludicrous to even suggest that DiNozzo did anything illegal.