101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks
In this chapter, Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Qui-Gon Jinn are going to scare Jar Jar Binks to death…I hope you enjoy this "scary" chapter!
Chapter 24: Heart Attack
Our heroes once again thought about how to kill Jar Jar Binks. They had killed him many times now, and they had finally developed a bad case of murderer's block…
"What do we do guys? We've tried just about everything we can think of…we've set him on fire…the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization has electrocuted him and used poison gas on him…basically we're in strife." stated Padme Amidala.
"What are we supposed to do now? Wait until Jar Jar Binks dies of a heart attack or something?" Anakin Skywalker asked sarcastically.
Suddenly, the four of them got an idea how to kill the Gungan from that question alone. They would scare the Gungan to death by being as scary as possible…
"You are a genius, my apprentice! You have made us all proud!" Obi-Wan Kenobi exclaimed.
"I am?" questioned Anakin Skywalker curiously.
Our heroes then went to a costume store in order to get costumes. Anakin Skywalker chose a Darth Vader costume (yes, he chose to go as himself in the future), Padme Amidala chose a Medusa costume, Obi-Wan Kenobi chose a vampire costume, and Qui-Gon Jinn chose a werewolf costume.
Now all that was left now was to go home and find Jar Jar Binks. Taking a space shuttle, our heroes headed back home.
Pretty soon they found Jar Jar Binks, who was busy sleeping on top of a coach, snoring peacefully as he did so.
"Zzz…Mesa da evil incarnate…zzz…" sleeptalked Jar Jar Binks.
Yelling out an enormous "BOO!" at the top of their lungs, our heroes surprised Jar Jar Binks, who woke up immediately. Upon seeing the four monsters (actually his friends in disguise, of course) in front of him, he immediately panicked.
"AAH!" screamed Jar Jar Binks. After a few minutes of screaming and running around the room, Jar Jar Binks' heart suddenly stopped and he fell on the floor, rolling around as if he was having a seizure. As this was one of his vital organs we were talking about, Jar Jar Binks lost his soul once again.
Our heroes took their costumes off shortly afterwards and put them away now that their task was complete.
"Wow, I'm surprised that actually worked." spoke Padme Amidala.
"Yeah well, Jar Jar Binks wasn't the bravest citizen in the galaxy." replied Obi-Wan Kenobi.
"You can say that again." Anakin Skywalker said, still surprised at how easily Jar Jar Binks was killed by their latest scheme.
"By the way, how much did we pay for these costumes?" Qui-Gon Jinn asked.
"We didn't pay much, don't worry." answered Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Our heroes pulled out the Resurrection Book and said the magic words, and pretty soon Jar Jar Binks' heart started beating again. He then went back to sleep.
"Zzz…Mesa love torturing people…zzz…" sleeptalked Jar Jar Binks once again.
"What is he dreaming out anyway?" Anakin Skywalker wondered.
"We probably don't want to know." suggested Padme Amidala.
And so our heroes have frightened Jar Jar Binks to the point where he experienced heart failure...suffice to say I wouldn't recommend trying to scare animals with particularly fast heart rates…or any kind of animal, for that matter, it wouldn't be good for their health...or your health for that matter depending on how they reacted.
So I bid you farewell for the time being as I go over the reviews you keep on sending me…