101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks
In this chapter, our heroes are going to execute Jar Jar Binks' through a somewhat ironic method, using the same book we all know and love that has resurrected Jar Jar Binks time and time again…the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization Book (which we simply call the Resurrection Book simply because it's shorter)
What exactly will happen? You'll find out soon enough.
Chapter 25: Dark Magic
Anakin Skywalker was shuffling through the Book of Resurrection, reading its vast contents that had been written by the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization for the purpose of serving as a guide in the purpose of executing Jar Jar Binks repeatedly for the sake of the organization that despises him so much.
There certainly was a lot of useful information in the book, such as information about the targeted Gungan, Jar Jar Binks himself. It had so many pages that Anakin Skywalker was surprised that it wasn't heavy for him to lift. Thankfully, it had an index so that they could go to any part of the book at any time depending on what they desired to read about.
There was also information about effective ways of killing the Gungan such as the fact that Gungans were intolerant to heat due to being amphibian-like, which Anakin kept in mind for later in case he was running out of ideas and/or wanted to try something new on the Gungan.
And of course there were several magic spells in the book, including the resurrection spell on the last page to be used whenever Jar Jar Binks got killed, whether it was through the actions of the Anti-Jar Jar BInks Organization or through the people they had brainwashed.
Curious, Anakin Skywalker decided to turn to the first page of the Book of Resurrection, and discovered that there was a killing spell inside of the magical book as well.
Immediately, a smile formed on his face as he realized the next method he and the others would use to kill Jar Jar Binks, and he went to alert the others about what he had found inside the book.
Soon enough he found them simply relaxing on a couch, apparently not occupied with anything at the moment, which of course was the perfect opportunity for what Anakin Skywalker was plotting.
"So let me get this straight, not only is there a resurrection spell in that book, but there's a killing spell inside the book as well?" Padme Amidala asked.
"There certainly is. All we have to do is find Jar Jar Binks and then test it out on him." Anakin Skywalker told her.
"I have to admit, the writers of this book thought of everything." Obi-Wan Kenobi complimented.
"By the way, where is Jar Jar Binks? Something tells me he's causing trouble again." Qui-Gon Jinn suggested.
As it turns out, he was trying to eat a fly and having difficulty doing so, causing a lot of damage to the intergalactic estate our heroes resided in the process.
"JAR JAR!" they all screamed in frustration, peeling their hairs out at the objects Jar Jar Binks had broken simply because he was hungry.
"Oops, sorry!" Jar Jar Binks apologized.
Once again the obnoxious Gungan had pushed our heroes' buttons. Immediately, our heroes started reciting the killing spell from the Book of Resurrection.
"What yousa guys reading?" Jar Jar Binks asked.
Suddenly, a green light shot out of the book and headed straight towards Jar Jar Binks.
"Wow! What a pretty light!" exclaimed Jar Jar Binks.
Soon enough Jar Jar Binks was hit by the zooming green light of death, killing Jar Jar Binks instantly. He fell on the floor, sticking his long tongue out as he did so, simply to make it clear that he was utterly dead.
"Well, would you look at that? Jar Jar Binks is dead once again! This spell works!" Anakin Skywalker exclaimed.
"Well, what did you expect? The resurrection spell in this book works, why wouldn't the killing spell work?" replied Padme Amidala.
"All I can see is that the spell killed Jar Jar Binks awfully quickly…" Obi-Wan Kenobi thought.
"Again, the resurrection spell was fast, so why wouldn't the killing spell be fast too?" Padme Amidala once again pointed out.
"Let's watch the book work his magic again, shall we?" Qui-Gon Jinn suggested.
And so our heroes resurrected Jar Jar Binks using the same book that had prevently killed him (which you may call the Killing Book at this point) so they can finish the chapter and kill the alien once more for the satisfaction of the galaxy.
Of course, they also used the Reparation Spell to repair the large amounts of damage Jar Jar Binks had caused in his disastrous attempt to eat a flying insect, but that was relatively unimportant…
Well, I'm a quarter done with the story already…this story has gone fast, hasn't it? Jar Jar Binks has died 25 times now…and I plan on killing him many more times…what's a guy to do?
In the meantime, I'll probably be working on other stories…but of course, I might simply decide to stick to this story for the time being, seeing though it's gotten so popular and I doubt my audience would be happy if I didn't finish it…
Anyways, I suppose the deaths can only get more family-unfriendly from here…so I'll probably start accepting suggestions that are a bit more gruesome…so I hope you guys are happy!