101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks
In this chapter, Jar Jar Binks will meet h is end via the thing that kills people more than dog bites…being stung to death by angry bees! Hope you enjoy this latest chapter.
Also, I've decided to include a new character…one that has appeared in all six Star Wars films, crazily enough. You probably hate him just as much as you hate Jar Jar Binks, unfortunately. But perhaps you'll enjoy his contribution to the story that is arguably the most hateful fan fic in Star Wars history.
Chapter 33: Killer Bees
Anakin Skywalker had just recently discovered that Jar Jar Binks was allergic to bees through an examination of his medical records, and decided to use this knowledge to his advantage in order to execute him once more.
Telling his friends Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padme Amidala, and of course Qui-Gon Jinn about this plan, they agreed that it would be an effective method and they all decided to execute it.
"I assume that the bees we'll be using are highly aggressive?" Padme Amidala questioned.
Anakin Skywalker nodded to confirm what she had asked.
"Just wanted to make sure that we were on the same picture." answered Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Buying some beekeeper equipment from a local store so that they wouldn't get stung themselves in the process of their depraved scheme, our heroes proceeded to grab Jar Jar Binks and tie his arms and legs so that he couldn't move and get in the way of their plans (which of course involved killing him).
"What gives? Let mesa go!" demanded Jar Jar Binks. "Mesa get da feeling dat dis isn't first time dis happened." he thought, feeling a strange sense of déjà vu.
Our heroes then gagged Jar Jar Binks so that he couldn't speak properly (not like he could do already) and tossed him inside their space vehicle along with the beekeeper equipment, and flew off over to a planet that just so happened to contain a large amount of bee farms.
"Where yousa taking mesa?" asked Jar Jar Binks on the way there as he rapidly approached his deathtrap.
"Let's just say that the planet we're going contains a lot of honey." answered Obi-Wan Kenobi, telling him a rather twisted half-truth.
"Yay! Mesa love honey!" squealed Jar Jar Binks like the idiot he was.
After our heroes had finally arrived, Qui-Gon Jinn pulled Jar Jar Binks and took him towards one of the artificial bee farms, careful to put his beekeeping suit on as he did so.
Qui-Gon Jinn opened the bee farm and stuck Jar Jar Binks' awkward-shaped head inside the bee farm, laughing quite a bit as he did so.
"Help mesa! Mesa being stung! Let go of mesa neck!" screamed Jar Jar Binks as the aggressive bees proceeded to sting his face due to the fact he was intruding in their territory.
Jar Jar Binks died from the venom that rapidly entered his bloodstream due to the fact that the bees simply wouldn't stop stinging him, as well as his life-threatening allergy to bee stings that were before mentioned.
Afterwards, Qui-Gon Jinn picked up Jar Jar Binks's corpse and placed him back into the shuttle, but on the way there something horrible happened.
"I don't take too kindly to trespassers!" screeched the angry beekeeper who owned the bee farm that our heroes had just used to murder Jar Jar Binks, and pulled out a shotgun, shooting Anakin Skywalker in the head and killing him.
"NO! ANAKIN!" cried out Obi-Wan Kenobi as his Jedi apprentice was killed instantly.
Our remaining trio of heroes was forced to retreat from the crazy beekeeper as he attempted to murder them all with his shotgun, not unlike how they had murdered Jar Jar Binks earlier.
Afterwards, they read from the Book of Resurrection, bringing Jar Jar and Anakin Skywalker back to life in order to continue their massive killing spree.
"Hey guys, look what I made on the way there! It's a robot!" Anakin Skywalker exclaimed. He pointed towards a golden droid that suddenly turned on after Anakin Skywalker stopped speaking for some reason.
"C-3PO activated. Awaiting commands…" the robot spoke.
"Well, isn't this a pleasant surprise." Qui-Gon Jinn acknowledged.
Well, I'm one-third through this story now, and I have to say, so far Jar Jar Binks had died a total of 33 deaths…impressive, isn't it? Suffice to say, he'll be dying far more in the future, and the deaths will start to get more gruesome as we go along.
If you don't like C-3PO, then maybe I could start killing him in gruesome ways as well…of course I'll be killing Jar Jar Binks more often than him, but it's still a possibility.
In the next chapter Jar Jar Binks will die through yet another internet meme suggested through our latest character...