101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks
In this chapter Jar Jar Binks will die from a meme not unlike what happened to him during his lethal rick rolling…he'll get kicked into a rather enormous pit that our heroes have uncovered for said purpose…sound familiar?
Chapter 34: Abyss
Searching for the next method to kill Jar Jar Binks, Padme Amidala came across a rather large pit at one particular planet they were scouting…one that was deep enough that whoever fell inside would evidently die, or at the very least be enough to kill a Gungan. This sparked an idea in her mind as she went to fetch the others.
After alerting the others what they found, our heroes all approached the area she had suggested, and they agreed that it would be a perfect idea in order to slay the most obnoxious alien in the galaxy.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Anakin Skywalker asked the other anti-heroes.
"I believe that I'm currently thinking what you're thinking, my apprentice." agreed Obi-Wan Kenobi.
"Let's go get Jar Jar Binks!" suggested Padme Amidala, wanting to kill Jar Jar Binks right at that particular moment.
"There he is now!" exclaimed Qui-Gon Jinn, pointing to Jar Jar Binks who was approaching them at just the right time.
"Hey guys! Whoa, dat is some pit, huh? Mesa wonder how it got dere." Jar Jar Binks spoke to the others in astonishment as he stared at the enormous cavity on the planet's surface, who once more was unaware that he was going to get killed in the next few minutes.
"I swear, he never notices whenever he's in danger until it's too late, doesn't he?" Qui-Gon Jinn whispered to Obi-Wan Kenobi.
"Ah yes, that does seem to be a major weakness of his. It does make life a lot easier for us though, so let's leave it at that, won't we?" Obi-Wan Kenobi muttered back.
"Guess what, Jar Jar Binks, we're going to send you down this giant pit so that you'll become a bloody mess as soon as you hit the bottom!" Anakin Skywalker told him, so eager to slaughter him that he did not bother to hide his murderous intentions.
"Enjoy your lesson about gravity!" added Padme Amidala.
"What? Dis is madness!" screamed Jar Jar Binks, horrified at Anakin Skywalker's and Padme Amidala's suggestion to do such a thing, mainly due to the fact that he was such a yellow-bellied coward and simply due to the fact that he was not interested on dying despite how frequently he had done so at that point.
"Madness? This is Star Wars!" answered his arch-enemy Anakin Skywalker, who swiftly proceeded to kick Jar Jar Binks down into the abyss and to his latest death.
"AAH! Curse yousa, evil gravity! Yousa nothing but trouble for mesa!" screeched Jar Jar Binks as he fell to his doom for the second time or so, until he hit the ground with a sickening thud. The Gungan had fought with gravity as he fell down to the pit, and of course gravity had ultimately won.
But there was a problem that our heroes quickly realized not long after they had slain him. How in the galaxy were they going to retrieve Jar Jar Binks' body this time? They couldn't simply go inside the pit and climb their way back out, they would likely meet the same fate if they attempted to do such a stupid thing.
It looked like our heroes's killing spree might have finally come to an end at last….
…but just as our heroes were about to give up, C-3PO suddenly pointed out that there was a teleportation spell in the Book of Resurrection that could be used to retrieve Jar Jar Binks' carcass so that they could kill him in the future.
Suffice to say, our heroes pulled out the Book of Resurrection and read the magic words, causing Jar Jar Binks's corpse to appear out of nowhere right next to them.
"That magic in that book astounds me." C-3PO expressed his astonishment. Apparently, he was not aware that there were magic-users in the galaxy. He wondered if there were other magical books just like the one that the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization had entrusted them with.
"By the way, didn't we kill Jar Jar Binks by shoving him out a window?" Anakin Skywalker pointed out.
"I believe that the method we used was slightly different." answered Padme Amidala.
"I suppose that you're right." approved Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Afterwards, our heroes used the resurrection spell that we all know is in that book as well, allowing our heroes to bring him back to life in order to kill him off in the next chapter.
I swear, a lot of Disney villains tend to die this way, don't they? It seems that gravity doesn't like them…anyways in the next chapter, our heroes will kill Jar Jar Binks in the most ironic method that they could so...can you guess what it is?
I have to admit, I've been coming up with a lot of ideas to kill the Gungan as of late…perhaps I won't need to use suggestions from the others for a while…I've received a lot of them at this point though, so maybe I'll use one anyway. Once again, feel free to leave a review…I've already received a lot of them so I suppose having a few more wouldn't hurt me.