Hey everyone! This chapter took me a little while to write because even though there is a tiny bit of smut, it was sad for me because I love these characters so much. Sorry about the sadness to come lol I promise good things will happen eventually!
Mahad pulled the prince along, hunting for a suitable place; he wanted them to be completely secluded. He finally found the perfect spot and led Atem inside. It was considerably dark, but silver moonlight shone in from the windows and sufficiently illuminated the room.
"The bath?" Atem asked, sitting on the edge of the small pool and dipping his bare feet into the warm water. The room was only for the use of the royal family to bathe, and would most certainly be a place that would remain undisturbed. It was perfectly silent in the empty room except for the light splashes Atem was making.
"I thought this would be a soothing place to come after the stress of the day. I know you need to relax just as much as I do," Mahad answered, taking a seat next to the prince. He reached over and took Atem's hand, holding it tightly. "I want you to know…I'm not mad at you. I'm hurt, but I can see why you did what you did. You were vulnerable and Seto took advantage of that. I'm just sorry I wasn't there, sorry that I was too busy thinking of my duty to you to actually think about your feelings."
Atem looked down at the water, watching the ripples his feet were creating spread out and disappear. A part of him wished he could slip beneath the surface and never come back up, forever enveloped in warmth and quiet darkness. He thought being a prince was supposed to be easy, but his life was only causing him pain as of late. "It's not your fault. It's mine. I can't even discern what I want for myself anymore. The things I'm supposed to do and the things I want have become confused, and I feel like I don't have any control of my own life or even my own feelings." He sighed, thinking of the way he had let himself be consumed by Seto. "I was the one who walked into that room with Seto. I was the one who asked him to do what he did to me. I can't lie, there is a part of me that somehow has become infatuated with him and I foolishly let that part take over. I continued to realize you were better for me, though. You've never played any games with me, you were only ever loyal to me and honest with me about how you felt." He leaned over and rested his head on Mahad's shoulder, closing his eyes and breathing in the familiar scent of his friend.
"Thank you, Atem, for telling me the truth," the magician said softly, wrapping his arms around the prince. "Things have been rather hard for both of us lately. There doesn't seem to be a clear path we should take. Perhaps just for tonight, we can erase everything that's happened and just focus on this moment."
"I'd like that very much," Atem replied, smiling as he looked up into Mahad's smoky eyes. He pulled the magician in close, kissing him slowly and deeply. The steam from the bath water was sticking to their skin and increasing the heat between them.
"Can I?" Mahad whispered, his hands on the hem of Atem's tunic. He could barely breathe he was so nervous, but he wanted this more than he had ever wanted anything. It was one thing he was willing to break all the rules for.
Atem nodded and let the magician undress him, the prince pulling off Mahad's own clothes. As soon as they were both naked they slipped into the water. Mahad grabbed a washcloth and the cleansing oils from the side of the bath and began to gently wash the back of Atem's neck and shoulders. The prince had been bathed here by his servants countless times, but never had it felt as good as this. The feel of the magician's hands running over his body, the scent of myrrh lingering in the air, the warmth of the water dripping slowly down his neck, the sound of Mahad's unsteady breathing behind him, all of it was combining into an experience of pure sensuality. He closed his eyes as Mahad reached around and began washing his chest. "It feels so good..." Atem said breathlessly as Mahad continued to move lower.
The magician's hands were trembling. This was the first time he was touching this body he had so longed for. It was everything he had hoped and more. "Lay back with me," he said as he sat down in the water against the edge of the bath, coaxing Atem down to lay against his chest. He took a nervous gulp as his hands dipped below the water. He lavished kisses on the prince's neck as he placed a hand on his waist, holding Atem close to him. The magician let his other hand move lower, caressing the prince's body under the water until he finally began to stoke him between his legs. Atem moaned and leaned his head back against him as he continued his touches, the prince getting harder with each passing second. Mahad could hardly believe his boldness, the natural ease it took in pleasuring the man he loved. He could feel his own erection and wanted more, wanted to be as close to Atem as he possibly could be.
Atem could hardly breathe between the thickness of the air and the pleasure of Mahad's touches. It felt incredible, like his senses were completely taken over from the heat. He turned around in the water so he could face the magician, wrapping his arms around his neck and kissing him forcefully, their tongues intertwining. As he pulled back, Mahad gave him a look asking permission to go further. Atem looked into his friend's eyes, seeing the happiness on his face and suddenly his heart shattered. This felt wrong. He didn't want to go further than this. He knew the hurt he would cause the magician, but this wasn't fair to either one of them. "Mahad…I can't do this. I can't…I'm sorry." Atem stepped out of the pool and grabbed a towel, quickly wrapping it around himself as he grabbed his clothes off the floor and ran out the door, leaving a dumbfounded Mahad alone in the bath. He didn't dare look back at his face; he knew what this must be doing to him right now. There was just no way he could let anything more happen between them. He burst through the doors of his bedroom and threw himself into bed, naked and cold. He couldn't be bothered to get ready for bed; he just wanted to be under his sheets and to stay there forever. He lay there, quietly sobbing until he exhausted himself into sleep.
Atem woke up the next morning with a terrible headache, his eyes swollen and puffy from crying the night before. His servants arrived to attend to him and he remained completely silent as he let them ready him. This was it; he couldn't take anymore of this confusion, of this heartache, and there was a very simple way to end it all. He walked down the hall to his father's door and knocked, letting himself in. "Father? Can I talk to you?" he asked, finding the pharaoh finishing up getting ready for the day.
"Of course my son, what is it?" Aknamkanon answered turning from his servant to face Atem.
The prince frowned as he saw how worn his father looked. He had been looking dreadful as of late, but this was by far the worst he had ever seen him. He knew that what he was doing was the right thing. His father didn't need any more stress. He knelt down in front of the pharaoh, showing his father respect. "I am sorry for the way I behaved yesterday, father. Please forgive my outburst. I intend to heed your wishes and marry Isis, as soon as possible," Atem said solemnly, never looking up at his father. He was utterly empty and could no longer feel any incentive to rebel. He wanted to get this over and done with.
"I am glad to hear that, Atem. You are making a responsible decision. I will speak with Isis's father right away and we can get on with the marriage as soon as they are willing." He stood and placed a hand on his son's head. Atem looked up at him, his eyes clouded and devoid of emotion. "You are a good son, Atem, and one day you will make a very good pharaoh," he said almost proudly as he left the room.
Atem remained on the floor for a few minutes, his eyes closed, trying to contemplate the future he had just agreed to. What choice did he have? He knew from the very start there would be no future with Mahad or Seto. It wasn't even an option. He had been a fool and Mahad had been right when he said marrying Isis was in his best interest. It would solve everyone's problems and put an end to these ridiculous games. Atem was the prince; his duty first and foremost was to his country, and he had been behaving selfishly. It was time to put that aside and do what needed to be done, no matter how unhappy he would end up. He finally found the strength to stand and he slowly walked out the door. He wasn't supposed to leave the palace unattended, but he slipped out for a walk to clear his head, covering himself in a hood so he wouldn't be recognized. He roamed around the town watching his subjects go about their daily lives, wondering what it must be like for them. They were not as well off as he was, but they were free to make their own choices. It was a life he could never have. He stopped at a stand to purchase a bit of fruit to snack on when he suddenly heard his name. He whipped around to find Mana standing behind him, a large basket of good in her arms.
"It is you Atem! What are you doing out here alone? You know that isn't allowed," she said rather loudly.
"Keep it down, Mana. I just needed a walk by myself. What are you doing?" he asked her as he guided her away from the stand to a place more suited for talking.
"Just buying a few things I ran out of. I certainly didn't expect to run into you," she said, looking at him quizzically.
"There is a lot on my mind right now. I don't know if you heard yet, but my father has arranged for me to marry Isis."
"What? I didn't know that! No one tells me anything! You aren't going through with it, are you?" she gasped.
"Actually…I am. I wasn't going to at first, but I see now that it is the best thing for everyone. My kingdom does need an heir, doesn't it?" he said, repeating his father's reasoning.
"But…what about Mahad?" She looked at him rather confused, a hint of sadness in her voice. Her mentor and Atem were both very important to her and she didn't want to see something wedge between them.
Atem looked at Mana for a minute, wondering if he should give her the entire truth. Mana was close to Mahad and he thought she might be angry, but she had always been closer to the prince, and he was sure she would still be on his side. "I thought about being with him Mana, truly I did. I love him dearly and he will always be an important person in my life. I realized last night though…I just can't love him like he loves me. It's not that I don't have feelings for him, it's just…" It's just what? What was it that was keeping him from being able to give himself to Mahad. Was it the sense of duty he felt the need to fulfill? The realization that a relationship with him would never be possible? Or perhaps something much worse, such as stronger feelings for someone else? He put that thought out of his mind immediately. He was done with those thoughts. Lingering on false hopes was only going to bring him more pain. "It's just that I am the prince, and there are certain things that princes can and cannot do. I am not like these people," he said, gesturing to the crowds around him. "I have to put my kingdom first, and that is why marrying Isis is important. I must make my father proud." He looked at Mana to see her reaction and saw something he didn't expect. She was looking at him with an expression of unmistakable pity. He was royalty and had everything anyone could ever want; no one had ever pitied him before. Yet this girl stood before him, showing on her face what he already knew but nobody else realized: that being a prince wasn't a charmed life full of luxury. It was a prison sentence from birth.
She placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it an affectionate squeeze. "I want you to be happy, Atem, in whatever you decide. Don't let others dictate your future for you. That's not the you I have known all these years." She kissed him on the cheek and walked away with her basket.
The prince stood still, feeling worse than ever. It didn't matter what Mana said, it didn't matter what anyone said; this was the right thing to do. She couldn't possibly understand the weight that his decisions carried. He strode back to the palace, hoping that his wedding could take place before anyone else could give him advice he couldn't afford to take.
Well that was depressing, but you have to get past the hard times to get to the lovelier things :) Thank you CandyassGoth for the idea about the bath! Sorry I gave you the opposite of fluff dear, but my characters had minds of their own. Atem was an emotional wreck, but he'll come to his senses XD If you guys review, maybe I'll put your ideas in the story too! So review review review please! It makes my day a little brighter :D