101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks
Well, you've been looking forward to this, so I decided to grant you this request. It's actually an idea that I came up with myself, but popular demand helped me come up with this suggestion. Enjoy this grisly chapter of 101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks.
Chapter 40: Rancor
Once again, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization concocted a scheme that would put an end to Jar Jar Binks while his friends were being brainwashed (or in C-3PO and R2-D2's case, being reprogrammed) to kill him in even more gruesome methods.
It was actually quite similar to what they had done earlier, due to the fact that it involved Jabba the Hutt, however this time he would die through a different method than what had happened to him previously.
He would be fed to the nasty, vicious beast that lurked underneath Jabba's Castle.
Once again the members of the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization prepared to mail the Gungan towards the pompous, oversized slug.
"Didn't we already try this before?" asked one of the members.
"Yes, but this time Jar Jar Binks won't be eaten by Jabba, we've made sure of that." stated another one of the members.
"Just wanted to make sure." replied the confused member.
"Does this package have air holes? We don't want Jar Jar Binks to suffocate on the way there, now do we?" inquired one of the members.
"Don't worry, we made sure of that, I'm pretty sure that Jar Jar Binks died from methods that would suffocate him already." replied another one of the members.
Not long afterwards, Jar Jar Binks found himself on a shuttle heading straight towards Tatooine.
"Why does dis feel so familiar?" wondered Jar Jar Binks.
Once again, he found himself in Jabba the Hutt's Palace.
"Why do mesa get the feeling that mesa been here before?" thought Jar Jar Binks, as he tipped over one of the decorations.
"Didn't I see him before? Oh well, I'm not hungry after that delicious cuisine those nice people gave me…so I suppose I'll have to just find another way to get rid of this pest." the obese slug thought.
Suddenly, Jabba the Hutt noticed that the Gungan was standing directly underneath his trapdoor which he used to dispose of the many people that he did not like, and realized what he could do to dispose of the obnoxious alien.
Suddenly out of nowhere while he was busy making Jabba's bodyguards peel their hairs out, Jabba opened the trapdoor straight underneath Jar Jar Binks.
"Why did floor suddenly disappear?" wondered the Gungan, right before gravity kicked in and he fell striaght in.
"Whee!" squealed Jar Jar Binks as he slid down the chute leading to the Rancor pit, unaware that this would be the last slide he would ever play with.
After he fell in, the Gungan wondered where he was. Suddenly, he noticed that there were skulls inside of the pit. Someone had apparently killed a lot of people.
"Whoa! Where is mesa?" wondered the Gungan.
He also noticed that there were large amounts of dung inside the pit. Someone didn't know how to use the toilet.
"Yuck! Dis place is disgusting!" exclaimed Jar Jar.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, the enormous Rancor (that just so happened to be one of Jabba's pets) started walking towards the Gungan.
"Hey there! How yousa doing?" Jar Jar Binks stupidly asked the beast that was about to eat him.
The Rancor responded by picking up the Gungan and devouring him whole and sprayed blood all over the pit, much to the delight of Jabba and his goons, who were busy observing his waited demise.
"Ouchies! Yousa have sharp teeth!" screamed Jar Jar Binks as the Rancor rapidly killed him using its deadly fangs.
The following night while Jabba the Hutt was sleeping, the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization came by and went inside the rancor pit and somehow managed to get the beast to regurgitate Jar Jar Binks' remains, and used the resurrection spell to bring the Gungan back to life.
Of course, they had to leave the Rancor pit before they would be eaten as well, but naturally they managed to escape back to the base.
Not long afterwards, Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, C-3PO, and R2-D2 were all released from the base, with thoughts of murdering Jar Jar Binks rapidly flowing inside of their minds.
Jar Jar Binks has died a whopping total of forty times…and yet somehow we're not even halfway done with this story…hopefully we'll be able to finish this story in the near future, so that everyone has 101 killing methods to laugh and cry at…
In the next chapter, Jar Jar Binks will die through yet another classic execution method, one that's older than the electric chair itself…