101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks
In this chapter, our heroes will experiment using a rather bizarre killing method, using a Jar Jar Binks Voodoo Doll! That's right, our heroes are going to have fun with voodoo! Enjoy this latest chapter of the 101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks…
I get the feeling that you'll probably enjoy in particular Jar Jar Binks saying Ouchies countless times in a row, seeing though how funny you seem to find his cries of pain…Then again, you might feel that it's being done to death. Ah well.
Chapter 42: Voodoo Doll
Padme Amidala was wearing a rather scary mask, and was knitting a doll together. But something was strange about this doll. It had a remarkable resemblance to Jar Jar Binks, but for some reason both of its eyes were Xs.
"What are you doing with that doll?" asked Anakin Skywalker, curious why she was sitting there making a doll while wearing a voodoo mask.
"I'm trying to create a Jar Jar Binks voodoo doll so we can kill him again, why?" answered Padme Amidala.
"Sounds rather interesting. Can I help you out in any particular way?" Anakin Skywalker offered his assistance.
"Well, I'll need his blood, and some of his skin. That way the voodoo doll will work properly." Padme Amidala explained.
"Alright, I can do that." agreed Anakin Skywalker, who went off to fetch one of the necessary ingredients.
Anakin Skywalker proceeded to take the needle Padme Amidala was using to knit the doll and use it to jab Jar Jar Binks in the arm, which due to its sharpness drew some blood.
"Ouchies! Dat really hurt! What was dat for?" Jar Jar Binks asked him curiously.
"Er, I was trying to donate some of your blood for the blood bank?" Anakin Skywalker answered him sheepishly.
"Oh, alright." Jar Jar Binks told him. As usual, he did not suspect a thing, which was just one of the many things that tended to result in his downfall.
Afterwards, Anakin Skywalker told Obi-Wan Kenobi what Padme was planning, and he agreed to help out by taking some of his flesh, cutting it off with a razor.
"Ouchies! What's da big idea? Are yousa trying to kill mesa?" Jar Jar Binks asked him.
"Sorry, I was trying to give you a haircut. And as for me trying to kill you…well I'm not going to be doing that today." answered Obi-Wan Kenobi.
"Oh, Ok!" Jar Jar Binks replied, ignoring the fact that he did not have hair and the Jedi master's suspicious answer to his question .
After giving Padme Amidala the ingredients she required, she went to work on preparing the dark ritual that would turn the ordinary doll into a voodoo doll.
Suffice to say, she was done in a matter of minutes, and invited the rest of her friends over to decide what exactly to do with it before they put the plan in action.
"I suggest that we toss it into the fireplace!" suggested Qui-Gon Jinn.
"Didn't we already kill him with fire?" answered Padme Amidala.
"I say that we toss it into a bathtub and then toss in a hair dryer." proposed Obi-Wan Kenobi.
R2-D2 beeped with agreement at that particular suggestion.
"Sorry guys, I believe that the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization already tried that using an electric chair." Padme Amidala turned down the two robots' suggestion.
"Well, what do we do with it then? I was going to throw it out the window, but we've already defenestrated Jar Jar." Anakin Skywalker asked her.
"Let's just kill Jar Jar Binks the old-fashioned voodoo way." Padme Amidala told him, poking Jar Jar Binks in the knee using the needle.
"Ouchies! Mesa knee!" bellowed Jar Jar Binks as he started clutching his knee.
Next, Padme Amidala started poking Jar Jar Binks' arm.
"Ouchies! Now mesa arm hurting!" screamed the obnoxious Gungan, who started clutching his arm as well.
After that, Padme Amidala started poking Jar Jar Binks' head.
"Ouchies! Mesa have headache!" screeched the alien, who started clutching his cranium in pain.
At this point, Jar Jar Binks fell over from trying to clutch so many parts of his body at once.
"Clumsy as always." thought Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Finally, Padme Amidala stopped toying with the Gungan (as much fun as it was to make him suffer), and stabbed him straight in the heart with the needle.
"Ouchies! Mesa has heartburn!" yelled Jar Jar Binks, right before he fell on the floor (once again) pushing up daisies.
"Great job Padme, I'll have you suggest more murder ideas in the future." Anakin Skywalker congratulated her.
"Mm-hmm…" Anakin Skywalker said.
Was this one a classic or what? I get the feeling that this was probably in one of my reviews…I suppose I'll have to think up of something for the next chapter if I don't feel like using the many suggestions that have been given to me…
To be honest with you, they're starting to drive me crazy…I've gotten so many of them…and I don't know if I can exactly use them all…
But for the moment, I suppose I'll simply surf through them and see if I can find anything that I particularly like.