A/N: I love you kittens oh so dearly. Thank you all for the kind reviews, IM's, as well as feedback. It brings a smile to my face knowing that my passion and first love brings a little solace into someone's life. Also, thank you to my dear 'freaktrains'. I was wondering where you were off to. I was ready to send out to a search party.

I apologize for not updating 'Green Elephants'. Expect an update this evening. I am PROUD to say that I am OFFICIALLY a graduate from The University of Illinois at Chicago with a B.A. in political-science. I graduated Sunday and gosh dangit I feel GREAT! Now, I am packing up my apartment to head to Oregon for the summer for an internship. I been moving boxes and throwing away things I forgot I even owned since 9 this morning. I figured I needed a break. So, I am eating a BLT from Subway and ready to write a well-deserved chappy. I really am enjoying writing this Rhonda and Curly fic. I relate most to Rhonda because…well….I can be a tad bit…'diva-ish'. (The tattoo on my forearm not helping either. LOL) But again, I LOVE YOU KITTENS and THANK YOU so much for the congratulatory wishes. Between this internship, editing my manuscript by deadlines, and my approaching first year of graduate school, I'm swamped. Anyhoo, Enough of my rambling. Enjoy my twisted, dark fantasies.

Rhonda

Chapter theme song: 'Hey, How Ya Doin'?' by: Little Mix

I pushed up my bustier for the umpteenth time to reposition my breasts. The glitter and crystal embellishments shone brightly against the throbbing multi-colored lights of my living room, various overdue compliments bombarding me from every direction. Tonight was my annual kick-off to summer party and, as usual, the entire neighborhood clamored for a luxurious invite. My parties were the Met Gala's of all social events and anyone who was notably anyone of importance was either begging for a silken embroidered invitation from Gustav Marché himself, or dancing on the dance floor to the sounds of DJ Caprice and DJ Unice- the hottest DJ's that only spun records in the clubs of the infamous Beverly Hills and notorious New York City. They were gracious enough to clear their schedules to come to my party; but that was not surprising. I was Rhonda Wellington-Lloyd, diva extraordinaire with as much social fame to out rank those pesky Kardashians.

Tonight I was a pirate, complete with a bedazzled bustier that shows effortless amounts of cleavage, a frilled black and red petticoat, fishnet stockings, thigh-high Vivienne Westwood boots, and an all black laced pirate hat to give me that seductress aura I was aiming for. I had my makeup artist complete my look with some luxurious cosmetic brands while my hairstylist only used the crème de la crème of hair products on my insured locks of hair. I even added a few extensions into my signature bob to give me a fuller, longer look that seemed more feminine and appropriate for my costume's persona. With my faux Brazilian tendrils, perfected makeup and incomparable costume, I was the belle of the ball at my own party- but what else was new?

I took a sip of my margarita, watching as more guests arrived in cheaply made imitation characters. I did my signature wave before finding myself back in my kitchen to nibble on a cucumber sandwich. Gerald and Phoebe were making out in my pantry again, this time using a bit more 'tongue' than necessary while some random kid from down the street found his grimy hands in my pretzel bowl. I had no idea what his name was, let alone who or what he belonged to but my father said he was the son of a wealthy business partner and to invite him. He and his knock-off Batman costume were unexceptional at best and I made a mental note to throw out those pretzels when he finished molesting my bowl.

I kept glaring out the window and towards the front door of my parlor, trying to see if he would dare show up to my party. It has been a while since I last seen Thaddeus, almost two weeks if my math was correct, and we have not spoken since the day he stormed out. He blocked my number but I called in a favor to an ex-lover who was the supervisor at his phone company to have that block removed for a hefty sum. Since then I have been doing nothing but calling and messaging him, even if just to insult him, just to hear his voice. I received nothing in response. I intentionally did not invite him, personally, to tonight's party because I knew if he heard about it from me he would not come; but if someone else forwarded him the message, he would consider it. Checking my watch, it was a quarter past midnight and I was beginning to lose hope he would even show. My party started at nine, almost every guest on my list came close to eleven, and the party was scheduled to end around two. If he had planned to show, he would have came by now. Thaddeus had a set bedtime and often grew cranky when he stayed out past his institutionalized curfew.

Sighing, I removed my pirate hat; brushing my dampened bangs away from my face. There were over three hundred guests in my home and I doubt they would all miss me if I retired early for the evening. The loud music, endless margaritas, and salty snacks all brought on a premature migraine I was not ready to deal with sober. I decided it be best to pop in some extra-strength ibuprofen, change out of this God-forsaken bustier into my cashmere night gown, and hop into bed. I informed Thomas of my early departure and to make sure that my party ended precisely at two, people being completely escorted off the premises by three at best. I figured with a margarita bar and vodka shots I was bound to have a few drunkards hiding in my cupboards for fun.

As I began to ascend my spiraled staircase to my bedroom, I heard that laugh I had grown to love more than life itself. I looked down, my heart skipping a beat to see Curly standing in the foyer in a white tank, denim shorts, and sneakers with a Viking helmet atop his head. I smirked at his quirkiness and silently reassured myself of my womanly powers. I knew I would have him groveling back in no time. I watched as he embraced Arnold, Stinky, and Sid before sharing some joke. I began to say something to get his attention but was immediately silence when he reached behind him to grab the hand of one of the most gorgeous women I have ever laid eyes on. She was in a skin-tight leopard cat suit complete with ears and an attached tail. Her bouncy curls moved gracefully as she spoke, her smile so perfect it could illuminate a dark room. Her makeup was simply spectacular as her shoes were to die for- a pair of meshed Jimmy Choo booties with crystal kisses on the cap toe. I grew green with envy as he kissed her cheek, wrapping his slender arms around her waist to bring her petite frame closer to his.

Violently, I slammed on my pirate hat, asking Marisol if my makeup was still intact. Upon her approval, I descended the staircase to the rhythm of my own anthem. Sid was the first one of the five-some to spot me, giving out a screeching wolf whistle against the music. Nelly Furtado's Man Eater ironically began to sashay against the walls of my home, only heightening my senses and making the experience even that more exciting. I tapped Curly on his shoulder, he turning around to give me a look of pure astonishment. He tipped his glasses to the brink of his nose, giving me the once over before flashing those pearly whites I have grown to worship. Before he could say anything, I snatched him up by his collar to bring him in for a sultry kiss.

"Wowzers!"

"Gee Wilikers, I reckon that's one heck of a kiss Rhonda done sure laid on Curly."

I pulled away slowly, my eyes not failing to lock with his. A hue of crimson flooded his cheeks before he tried to say something, being violently snatched by the clawed feline for their own adulterated kiss. My mouth dropped, heart suddenly thudding against my constricted chest as I felt my pride slowly shatter. There was even tongue!

"WOWZERS!"

"Two kisses!"

"From, two women!" Arnold finished, lightly gripping his punch. He looked confused, darting his attention between me and Curly, Curly and then the woman only to start the cycle again. There was a small blanket of silence before anyone spoke. "So, uh, Curly…who…uh…did you bring with you this evening?"

Still blushing, Curly turned towards the woman; her eyes still intertwined with mine as we fought for dominance. "This is Serena, my….girlfriend."

"Girlfriend!?" I felt myself mutter. I clutched my chest, taking a few steps back. I watched as that…bitch…gave a sly smirk, wrapping her paws around his neck before placing a small lick against the crest of his ear. Since when did Curly have a goddamn girlfriend?

He nodded, now looking at how amazingly smooth my floors were to avoid making direct eye-contact with me. "Yes, Rhonda, my…girlfriend."

"Since when?"

"We been talking for awhile now and I decided to make it official this morning."

"Wow." Arnold spoke simply, taking a sip of his forgotten punch. He, Stinky, and Sid all glanced at me then at her before forcing small smiles. "I'm happy for you, Curly. Good for you."

"Yeah, good job snagging a hottie with a banging body. She has to really love you to stay with such a loon like you."

"I second that. Gee, I reckon you two break animals out the zoo together for dates!"

They shared a laugh, me not finding it at all a bit amusing. Curly remained silent, forcing a small chuckle before looking at me to give a sheepish grin. He tried to say something but Arnold cut him off to ask a bunch of bullshit questions about how they met and how long they knew each other but I did not care to find out the answer to those questions. I did not care to say the least.

"Uh, excuse me." I rang out, bringing the attention back on me. "I'm still not over the fact that Thaddeus here has a girlfriend and did not alert me to the matter."

"Was he supposed to?" Syria snapped back with attitude. Apparently kitty liked to scratch. "Because I am quite sure our relationship is just that, our relationship."

"Syria was it?"

"Serena." She corrected.

"Right, Selena, I'm going to need for you to take a few steps back and allow me to talk to Thaddeus…alone." I said the last word with more bass than I intended but by judging at how Curly stiffened at my change in demeanor, my point was well-received. However, Syria did not take kindly to me treading on her man and decided now was a better time than any to mark her territory.

"I'm afraid I cannot do that, Ms. Lloyd. I understand there was so history between you two and I don't feel comfortable with you two talking, let alone being alone without me present."

"Well, Syria…"

"Serena." She interrupted. "Do I need to wear a nametag for you to remember my name?"

I watched her neck roll viciously; her eyes cutting me with enough attitude to even make me raise an eyebrow at her. I flipped back my hair, folding my arms across my chest. "If it suits you, my dear. Just know that even with a tacky name tag, Selena, you are still not important enough for me to give a damn about you or your pesky little name."

I noticed she was taken aback, clearly offended. Before she could shoot back a reply, I watched Curly turn and whisper something in her ear before she shot me a curt glance. Curly walked her back to the front door to dig in his pockets for his car keys and handed them to her before she disappeared into the night. I snottily waved towards her shadow and her once divine shoes as Curly lunged towards me to yank me to one of the many empty rooms on the first floor.

We found ourselves in an unoccupied bathroom, he locking the door before picking me up to place me against the countertop of my porcelain sink. I purred in his ear, beginning to undo his belt buckle.

"I knew you couldn't stay away."

"No, Rhonda, I did not bring you in here to mess around with you." He spoke sternly, removing my manicured hands away from his zipper. "I came in here to officially break things off with you."

"Don't be foolish, Curly." I spoke in between butterfly kisses on his neck. He let out a low moan before I entrapped him in another kiss. I shoved him against the toilet behind him, he falling against the closed seat before I found myself buried in between his legs. I propped myself on my knees, licking my lips as I unzipped his zipper to massage his erection. "Just sit back and relax. I know just how you like it."

"No, Rhonda." He muttered, still trying to push me away. "We…can't."

"Shut up, Curly." I hissed, pulling his delicate skin out of the confines of his boxer briefs. I marveled at my forbidden beauty, placing a small, slow lick at the base…then another…then another. I went in for the kill, only to be met with Thaddeus bolting up to run towards the door, smacking me in the face with his shin.

I growled in fury, holding my cheek in pain. He mumbled some half-hearted apology, trying to readjust his shorts. He turned to finally face me. "Are you ok?"

"Fuck you!" I spat, still kneeling on the floor. "What has gotten into you?"

"I have a girlfriend!" he roared, loud enough for others to hear. There was a small spell of silence, his breathing growing more ragged as I calmed down. "Rhonda, I really like this girl and I want to give us a fair shot."

"What happened to us, Curly?"

"You!" he shouted. He clutched his hands into fists, beginning to bang on the walls and door of the bathroom. I watched in silence as he knocked over the vase of tulips and bottles of French soap my mom had placed for decoration. He screamed, taking off that stupid Viking helmet to throw it at the back wall. "You, Rhonda! I loved you…I still do, but I am not some damn puppet you can play with when you are bored. I have feelings too, though that may be hard to get through your self-centered skull."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You think you are royalty and you treat everyone like crap who you feel are beneath you. You are one of the most selfish and vile human beings to walk the earth and you don't see it!"

I felt my breathing stop, my heart suddenly going numb as if his words pierced right through my soul. "Thaddeus…." I paused, my head spinning. "Surely you don't mean that…."

"I do, Rhonda!" he screamed, kicking and punching the door. He swung it open, only to be met with the wondering eyes of a few of my guests who overheard our argument over the now silenced music. "You seriously think you are better than everyone else, even me. I have done nothing but love and cherish you and you treated me like the dirt beneath your feet."

"Curly…"

"Serena loves me, Rhonda." He continued. "She genuinely loves and cares for me and I am not going to mess than up because you feel the need to play with my emotions just to get your daily fix."

"Curly, if you'll just listen!" I pleaded. He only raised his hand, curtly muting me. He slowly walked towards me, kneeling down to place a small kiss on my forehead that stamped his words in red ink.

I felt small tears weld in the corners of my eyes, my heart suddenly aching.

"Please, do me one favor and never call me again. I rather we end this unrequited love here. I can't do this anymore."

"Thaddeus!"

"I have to go, Rhonda." He stood. "Serena is waiting in the car."

I watched him walk out the room, leaving me with the quizzical stares of my guests. I shooed them away with my screaming but I could not move. I kept trying to tell myself that he would be back, that this girl was just some phase but somehow it did not seem so convincing. There was no 'doll face', 'baby girl', or 'sugar pie, dumpling' whatever he used to call me. It was just…Rhonda.

So long…baby I'm gone… so leave your message for me after the tone.