Hello there! Welcome back!
OMG, the responses to this have been so awesome, thank you all so much!
Please, don't let me keep you. I bring you all the next chapter, enjoy!
6. Two of Cups - The Sun
The next day dawned, beautiful and bright, the chirping of the birds in the courtyard tree waking him up from his tormented night of sleep.
His body had somehow tangled itself within his sheets and he sighed as he stretched his limbs, blinking his eyes open to find his room still comfortably dark, the evidence of the new day shining through a crease in between his drawn curtains, casting a long streak of warm light over his bed and his legs.
He took a moment to reorient himself in space and time, groaning as the events from the previous evening returned to him.
What was he going to do now? He'd made a total fool of himself last night.
They never should've slept together. It messed up everything and made things complicated between him and Ace professionally. Not to mention, emotionally as well.
He recognised jealousy when he felt it and no amount of denial could erase the bitter taste of it.
He kept telling himself that he didn't feel anything else for his superior, but he knew that he couldn't deny that just seeing Ace made his day. That morning on Thursday when he woke up in his bed, protectively embraced by him he had fantasized waking up like this, everyday, with Ace's warm body holding him close and the sound of his strong heartbeat lulling him back into a worriless sleep.
He'd allowed himself to fantasize about it, because the reality was that he couldn't permit himself to spend each night in his bed. The sex was stellar, one of the best he'd had so far, but he knew that if he settled into the uncomplexity that was their personal relationship, that he'd end up falling for him. And he could tell that he was already nearing that point of no return. Ace made it so easy.
Too easy.
He'd promised Shanks, but he couldn't let go. Even after all those years.
"Don't let what happened taint your outlook on life, these things happen. You cry, you mourn, and you learn to build yourself up again so you can continue on living. Life goes on."
"Shanks..." Luffy whispered, smiling sadly. "I wonder what you've been up to... Do you ever think of me? Of us? Do you think it would've been best if we never met? Are you filled with regrets, like I am?" He let one tear roll over the bridge of his nose, as he laid on his side, and closed his eyes. "What was the meaning of us meeting if it was only meant to end the way it did?" he asked, hugging a stray pillow, quietly sobbing into it.
He'd advanced academically, socially and even professionally, but emotionally... he was still that inexperienced, brass and petulant 18 year old who never knew how to pace himself.
How could he want someone to love him when he was still waiting for the day on which he'd be able to look himself in a mirror without resenting what he saw? How could he love someone in return, when last time... last time it brought nothing but pain and tragedy?
He didn't deserve it. He didn't want it.
Because he was still trying to figure out a way to forgive himself.
Luffy let himself fall asleep again and was awoken a few hours later by the sound of ascending footsteps on the stairs leading to his wing of the house. Three knocks then sounded against his bedroom door and just because those knocks were soft and considerate, it didn't make him want to see his sister more.
"Luffy? Are you awake?"
Luffy turned around in his bed, now facing the door with a glare. "No," he whined.
Robin chuckled and pushed open the door. "Lou, you missed breakfast."
Luffy watched her approach his bed and shifted a bit so she could sit next to him. "This past week kicked my ass," he yawned, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "I'm just tired."
She reached a caring hand to him and cupped his face, rubbing her thumb over the dried up tear marks in the corner of his left eye, frowning worrily, but deciding not to ask. "You've been working really hard. Sharley says you passed by the 'Room' yesterday with a VIP. How did you manage that?"
Luffy smiled. "That's right, Vivi's in town... and I didn't."
Robin smirked and nodded in acknowledgment. "Well, Sharley is already conversing with Vivi's manager to see if our venue can book her for a one night only concert, since she's in town and all. Vivi seemed to like the place."
"I have the impression that she really wants to do something back for Sabaody City; it's the place where she has many fond memories she said. She loves this place," Luffy commented. "She says that the people are genuine and strong here even after all the misfortune they've had to endure... After that hurricane 7 years ago, the city never really bounced back from the financial disaster the plumetting tourism bussiness brought, has it?
Robin pursed her lips in silent disagreement, "The gap between social classes has only grown, true. But it's people like Franky, Usopp and Chopper who help the ones who need it most and are helping people rebuild what they've lost." She then smiled, "Mugiwara has always been a big investor in the City, Newgate in particular. The Dome was finished partly because of him. Even the hospitals and clinics of Sabaody have been enjoying donations from him on a regular basis. Other investors have helped rebuild the city as well and aided in expanding it, as I'm sure you've noticed with all the new neighbourhoods that keep popping up."
Luffy smiled proudly at that. "Newgate..."
"Did you know that he's always had a fondness for children?" Robin continued, standing up from the bed and moving to the closed curtains. "He is also the Thousand Sunny's biggest benefactor, next to our father of course." She looked over at him and pulled the curtains open, grinning at his funny reaction to the sudden brightness in the room. "Father is known to inject some money into the city too from time to time, as well as granddad. Speaking of which..." She stilled when they heard ascending footsteps again coming towards the door.
Luffy pulled the covers off his head and stared at the entrance of his room, a huge grin forming on his face as he saw the tall, aged man that appeared in the doorway.
"It's almost noon, what are you still doing in bed, Luffy!"
Robin smiled when she saw Luffy leap out of the bed and into the awaiting arms of the man, laughing happily. "Granddad is here."
"Grandpa Garp!" Luffy exclamed, hugging the old man tightly. "What are you doing here? When did you fly in? Oh my God, I missed you!"
"One thing at a time!" Garp chuckled, hugging his grandson back. "First off, how are you doing, Luffy?"
"As well as I can be, sir!" Luffy answered, sporting a big goofy grin.
"That's real good to hear, boy," Garp replied, ruffling Luffy's hair. "I hear you're already outshining all the other rookies at the firm?"
Luffy scratched the back of his head bashfully. "Who said that?"
Garp grabbed him in a headlock and grinned proudly, ignoring Luffy's protests. "That's my grandson! Watch him rise!" he laughed, letting go of Luffy.
Robin chuckled. "You haven't changed, granddad."
"Of course not!" he replied with a smirk. "At my age, what's the point?"
Luffy smirked along with Robin. "So what are you doing in Sabaody, grandpa?"
"I'm here to check up on you two and I have some bussiness with Newgate," he answered, smiling.
"Bussiness with Newgate?" Robin asked.
Garp only smiled and didn't say more. "But first, I would like to go into town and look around a bit, care to join me, Luffy?"
"Absolutely!" he exclaimed, pulling his t-shirt over his head as he ran towards his bathroom left of the main door. "I'll be down in 15!"
Robin cocked her head to the side as they were now standing alone in Luffy's room. "Since when do you do bussiness with Newgate? I thought you two hated each other?"
"Well, time is a funny thing," Garp gently said, looking down with a forlorn smile. "Circumstances and people inevitably change."
Robin's eyes grew wide as she read between the lines of that statement. "Granddad?"
Garp shook his head, and waved his hand in a dismissive manner. "No. Just forget I said anything."
She stilled again, now scowling. "Then... ?"
The older man closed his eyes and sighed. "It's almost frightening how perceptive you can be, my dear girl. A trait your mother also possessed. In spades. She was the only one who always knew what was going through my idiot of a son's mind."
Robin closed her eyes and faced away from him. The death of their mother had always been a subject they prefered to avoid, for obvious reasons.
"She was a good woman, that Olivia..." Garp murmured, eyes gone sad. "Death is something that awaits us all in the end... whether it's sooner or later. We just always hope it's later..." He then sighed and grunted, now visibly annoyed. "I'll be downstairs."
Robin sat down on her brother's bed, closing her eyes in dejection.
It seemed like Death was awaiting yet another customer.
"This place really changed!" Garp exclaimed as he looked around the Baratie Eatery. "Who would've thought that that weird eyebrowed brat would make it this far? And you say he has two other restaurants in the city?"
Luffy nodded. "There's the Nasugasira on Ocean Drive and a Smoothie bar over on Logia, near the school district."
"Ooh... What's a smoothie?"
Luffy laughed and explained it to him while Caimie arrived with their order.
"So, General, how long are you in town for this time?" Caimie asked with a grin. "You're almost as rare a sight as our dear Luffy."
Garp smiled at her, "Well little girl, a General's duty never stops. I'll be here for a weekend and a weekend only, I take my plane back to Mariejois on Monday morning."
"Well it's an honour to have you here, General Garp," she said with a nod. "Zeff says that your meal is free of charge. No hero of the Great War is going to pay a dime here."
"Hey, what about me?" Luffy protested wth a chuckle. "Do I still need to pay?"
"I already gave you something free this week and it's not like you're not making enough money," she said indifferently.
"I've only been working a week, it's not like they've already paid me!"
"Well, you haven't fought in a great war lately, have you?" Garp interjected, before taking a bite out of his chicken-mustard cheese sandwich. "Hmm! This is really good!"
"You're not helping, Grandpa!" Luffy growled.
Caimie turned to leave. "Try again next week, Lou," she said with a giggle and a wink, walking away.
Luffy chuckled and turned his attention to his chicken-pesto sandwich.
"So, I haven't seen you since you left last month. I thought you'd be more loose lipped," Garp said, licking some mustard sauce off his finger. "How's Sabaody been treating you so far? How have you been holding up?"
Luffy watched him take another bite from his sandwich and looked away again. He had been expecting those questions."Better than I expected I would," He replied quietly, taking a steadying breath. He then gave him a reassuring smile. "Facing my friends again was the worst, but they were very understanding. They really waited for me to come back. Something I did not think they would do."
Garp only looked at his grandson for a few moments, a small smile forming on his lips. "And at work?"
"I have great colleagues and even better superiors," Luffy said with a nod. "I have been well-received by everyone there too."
"And emotionally? Any sign of Shanks?" Garp questioned, bringing a forkful of salad to his mouth.
Luffy stilled at that and frowned a bit. "I don't think he knows I'm back. And either way, it's better if he didn't know, right?"
"Wrong," Garp said, wiping off his mouth with a napkin. He then folded his hands together and placed them on the table in front of him. "From the moment I saw you this morning, I knew you hadn't seen him yet, son. You're still running and trying to hide it by overcompensating, as usual."
"Grandpa..." Luffy whispered, closing his eyes. "You know what happened, how I felt about him! I've been back for a week, you can't just expect-"
"You've had four years, Luffy!" Garp sternly said looking at him reprimandingly. "You must stop feeling guilty over the fact that Shanks saved your life and chose to loose his arm in the process. You cannot keep living in regret and continue making excuses. What happened, happened. When are you going to start thinking of your own happiness, son? Shanks has long since forgiven you and he has moved on."
"I'm the one...!" Luffy began heatedly and then stopped when he realized how loud his voice was. He quieted and then started again. "I'm the one who threw himself in front of that train in the Underground and had him save me, losing his arm in the process! That one is on me, and there's no amount of time that will ever help me get rid of the immense guilt I have because of that!"
Garp stilled in turn, folding his arms on his chest. "You don't want to get rid of it."
Luffy glared at him. "You don't know that."
"You don't want to get rid of the guilt," the older man repeated calmly. "And do you need me to tell you why?"
Luffy sat back in his seat with a trembling sigh and derisive chuckle, shaking his head stubbornly as he fixed his eyes on the red pedestrian light on the other side of their window.
"Because you've grown acostumed to it," Garp clarified, taking his coffee cup by its ear. "Because it's given you a valid reason not to grow attached to people who show a genuine interest in you. You use your body to hide the fact that you've been emotionally encased in this glass box made out of fear."
Luffy took another shaky breath, feeling tears starting to form behind his eyes. He still refused to look at his grandfather.
Garp took a sip from his coffee, placed the cup back down and sighed. "My only regret for you is that your first experience with love was such a tragedy, son."
The pedestrian light jumped to green and a tear rolled down Luffy's face. "Fuck!" he whispered, trying to hide his face unconspiciously behind his right hand, worrying his lower lip between his teeth as the tears now came freely and his mouth trembled, holding back sobs.
"But Luffy, you're young... barely 22," Garp gently continued, looking on as Luffy slumped down his seat, shoulders shaking as he cried quietly. "You shouldn't be afraid of loving someone else. Chasing fleeting pleasures will only leave you empty. There's more to life than that, trust me." He then reached for a clean paper napkin and offered it to him, smiling when Luffy took it from him. "It seems like we return to the same topic of discussion every year around the same time," he then said with a soft apologetic grin that dissappeared a few seconds later when he watched Luffy calm down.
Staring sullenly at the ongoing traffic outside, Luffy sighed as he thought over the words his grandfather had just uttered about him being afraid to fall in love again, finding truth in them and at the same time the desire to make them no longer a fact.
Maybe it was time to face Shanks, maybe it would help him get over him or, perhaps, help him find a path of redemption he'd long since given up upon.
"You really know how to hit the nail on its head..." Luffy whispered, smiling a little. He then turned his head to look at his grandfather. He'd always been the only one who fully understood him and he'd proven it again. "Thanks, grandpa," he said, putting on a solemn face eventhough he had still tears in the corners of his eyes.
Garp smiled back and nodded, picking up his coffee again as Luffy resumed to eating his sandwich.
On that Saturday afternoon, the Free Clinic on Sakura street was not as busy as Luffy had expected it to be and as he and Garp took place in the warm waiting room, he counted only two other patients waiting to see a doctor.
Dr Kureha and Garp were old friends from the army. She patched him up more times than he cared to recal and he saved her ass on numerous occasions during the last Great War, 40 years ago. He'd told Luffy he'd come to wish her well with- read: make fun of - her impending retirement.
Luffy hadn't mind coming here because he was excited to see Chopper again, so when the door to the consulting room opened and a familiar, short black haired man stepped out, he was, to say the least, surprised by the unexpected meeting.
The man from Ace's office called the name of the next patient off a clipboard before looking up and spotting Luffy. Another condescending smile formed on his lips at the sight of Luffy, which made said last one scowl back at him.
A woman with a suspiciously looking rash on her lower left arm stood and began to walk towards the man.
"Young man, could you tell me if Kureha is in, per chance?" Garp asked, standing in turn.
The other man rose an eyebrow and stepped aside to let the woman pass into the hall that lead to many consultation rooms. "Room 3, miss," he told her before turning to Garp. "Dr Kureha is in, but not taking any patients at the moment."
Garp grinned and walked up to him. "Good, because I don't need her to grope me," he chuckled, passing the man into the hall. "I'm an old friend of hers."
Luffy couldn't help the glare he gave the guy as they both walked by him. "You're a doctor..." he whispered, eyes falling on the emroidered name on his white doctor coat which spelled 'Trafalgar Law, MD'.
"How perceptive," Law dismissively said. He then pointed to the door at the end of the hall to their left. "Dr Kureha is in there. I need to tend to my patient," he emotionlessly said before walking off in the opposite direction and entering the door to consultation room number 3.
Garp was already walking towards the other end of the hall, but Luffy needed a moment longer to take in the new information, another flare of jealousy spiking deep within him when he replayed the scene from yesterday in Ace's office in his mind. He then grunted and quickly followed the sound of Kureha's laughter as she saw Garp.
He peeked inside the office and found his grandfather already making fun of the fact that she was retiring. Dr Kureha then proceeded to opening up a drawer which contained some old brand of liquor, which didn't forebode anything good.
Luffy shook his head with a grin and then turned back into the hall, having decided to go search for Chopper. The door at the opposite end of hall read reindeer's name and he knocked twice.
The door opened and Chopper appeared, smiling brightly as he saw his friend standing behind it. "Hey, Luffy!"
"Hey, Doc!" Luffy replied, stepping inside his office as Chopper took a step back. He let his eyes go over the reindeer's ample room as it was the first time he'd ever been in here. There was a large window behind the desk with a view of downtown Sabaody, filing cabinets on the right side with all kinds of chamber plants on them and a large, wooden library containing all kinds of medical books, document holders, pictures and other interesting paraphernalia. Chopper got his doctor's licence a year after Luffy left for college and he was hired soon afterwards in this clinic by Dr Kureha's recommandation.
Chopper hopped on his chair behind his paper-laden desk and grinned up at him. "What are you doing here, Luffy?"
"My grandfather came into town and he wanted to see Dr Kureha off before he goes back to Mariejois on Monday," Luffy answered, distracted by the anatomy posters decorating the walls.
"Oh, okay, have you met our new doctor?" Chopper asked, taking a stack of papers from his desk and filing them neatly into document holders before jumpin off his seat and walking to the library.
Luffy sat himself down on the comfy blue couch and made a derisive sound. "I have... twice now."
Chopper looked over at him with a questioning eyebrow. "Twice?"
Luffy stared at his friend for a moment, having thought of something that needed to be verified. "Hey Chopper," he began, waiting for the reindeer to be seated back behind his desk. "Do you know if... if Ace Portgas has come in here, for... I don't know, check ups?"
"Ace Portgas?" Chopper echoed, frowning now. "Ace, your superior?"
Luffy nodded.
"Why do you ask?" Chopper asked, giving him a suspicious look. "You know I'm not allowed to divulge that kind of information."
"Because," Luffy said, growing desperate. "I saw your new doctor in his office yesterday evening and Ace wasn't wearing a shirt and..." he let his voice die out to keep from saying too much.
Chopper rose an eyebrow at that before sighing. "I think it'd be best if you asked him, Luffy. Ace, I mean."
"So he has come in?" Luffy whispered, feeling relief and then dread as he thought about the desolate tone Chopper's voice had taken. "Is he... Is he sick?"
"Luffy..."
Luffy stood up abruptly and walked up to Chopper's desk. "I need to know, I..." he whispered, balling up his fists. "I just need to know Chopper, please..." he told him, looking him in the eyes with heartfelt worry.
Chopper stilled and then sighed, conceding. He reached for a folder that lay in a drawer of his desk and opened it, giving it to Luffy with a closed expression.
The doorbell had been ringing non stop for almost 3 minutes, waking him up from his afternoon nap. He wondered what could be so urgent in the middle of the day and why the person ringing couldn't take a hint after 3 fucking minutes of no one answering.
He closed a nightrobe over his boxershort clad body and left his room on the first floor of his duplex, the ringing still ongoing as he descended the steps into his living room.
When he walked passed the hall monitor he did a double take and stared at the figure appearing on the screen, relentlessly pressing in the doorbell for few more times before sliding down against the wall in total desolation, knees pulled up against his chest.
He moved to open the door immediately after seeing that and found him, sitting behind the door, his head moving up from his knees to look at him.
Tears shone in his dark brown eyes.
"Cancer, Ace? You have cancer...?"
To be continued...
In: 7. Five of Pentagrams - The Moon
-BDP-