101 Ways To Kill Jar Jar Binks
It looks like Jar Jar Binks is going to die through yet another horror icon…I bet you've probably guessed which one it is by now just by the title…but if not…oh well.
Chapter 49: Nightmare
Jar Jar Binks' death was particularly peculiar this time around. For the most part, the day had gone by smoothly…except for the time Anakin Skywalker tried to drop an anvil on Jar Jar Binks' head and failed.
After cursing his ill luck, Anakin Skywalker decided that he and his friends would kill Jar Jar Binks another day, and our heroes therefore went back home and decided to get some sleep, as it was near midnight and they needed their brainpower to come up with new ways to kill Jar Jar Binks.
Unfortunately for the Gungan, he would end up experiencing the big sleep that night from a monstrous man that wanted to do things to him…
It all started when he went to bed, dreaming about the things he usually did, such as female Gungans in bikinis.
Suddenly, he noticed that something seemed odd about this particular dream. For one thing, it seemed awfully realistic…too realistic in Jar Jar Binks' mind.
In fact, he felt like he was physically there…his fears were confirmed when he injured himself by accident when he fell over on his face due to his clumsiness and was able to feel pain when he scraped his knee on the pavement.
"What's going on? Mesa have bad feeling about this." wondered Jar Jar Binks, who started to look around him.
Suddenly, a man wearing a hat and with claws for one of his hands approached Jar Jar Binks. He had very burnt skin, causing the latter to wonder what had happened to him.
"Freddy's coming for you, alien freak!" laughed the psychopathic serial killer.
"Why are yousa in mesa dream? Yousa dream yousa own dreams! Yousa get out of mesa head!" demanded Jar Jar Binks.
"What can I say? I was given the power to invade other people's dreams so I can kill them in their sleep from some friends of mine…" the monster of a man continued.
"Why yousa have burned skin? Yousa should see da doctor about that! Maybe he could help yousa!" suggested Jar Jar Binks.
"I usually kill the doctors I see." answered the burnt man.
"Yousa scary dude! Mesa want out of dream world right now! Let mesa out of here!" screeched Jar Jar Binks.
At this point, Freddy couldn't tolerate anymore of Jar Jar Binks' obnoxious behavior. He proceeded to slit Jar Jar Binks' throat with his glove, causing blood to gush everywhere.
"Yousa cut me up real good, why yousa have to do that?" asked Jar Jar Binks, right before he died.
Unfortunately for the Gungan, anything that happened to him in the dream world would also affect him in the real world as well, meaning that he had actually died at the hands of the deadly dream-invading killer.
Surprisingly, our heroes had slept through all of his screaming, and remained asleep even as he died. Perhaps they had taken some sleeping pills to help them go to sleep?
This particular fact worked well for the Anti-Jar Jar Binks Organization, as they were supposed to pick them up that day and load them into their van for their next brainwashing.
Careful not to wake them up in the process, they proceeded to take our heroes towards the van. Suffice to say, they were pleasantly surprised when they found out that Jar Jar had somehow been killed while he was in bed, and resurrected him using the Book of Resurrection.
Jar Jar Binks would once again meet his death at the hands of his worst enemies (that's right, worse than his so-called friends), but of course that's not exactly shocking.
Can you guess how Jar Jar Binks will die next? The last sentence in this chapter should be a clue if you haven't guessed already.